Signs your Champions GM is now (fill in the blank)

[Wormhole]

Re: Signs your Champions GM is now (fill in the blank)

 

Signs your champions GM is now Micheal Crichton:

 

10) Everyone got their superpowers by stepping inside some silver alien sphere at the bottom of the ocean...

 

9) ....And now there's some strange entity called "Jerry" going around wreaking havoc with giant squids and sea serpents.

 

8) Monster Island has been replaced by Jurassic Park.

 

7) You get more indepth descriptions of medical procedures than you really needed...or wanted.

 

6) He uses the same first and last names for NPCs in this campaign as in a previous campaign, even if they're not the same character.

 

5) Only three PCs will survive the campaign, and choose to forget the whole thing.

 

4) The movie based on the campaign will be a disappointment.

 

3) Eventually, the entire party will end up on ER...er, I mean in the ER.

 

2) Jeff Goldbloom will be involved somehow.

 

1) Two underwater habitats will be destroyed and the Navy will demand answers.

[Lord Mhoram]

Re: Signs your Champions GM is now (fill in the blank)

 

Signs your champions GM is now Micheal Crichton:

 

Nice ones, and I have to add

 

11) The campaigns start wonderfully, have really interesting themes and ideas, and as the campaign goes on, the GM seems to flounder, and every campaign he has ever had turned to total garbage by the end.

[Susano]

Re: Signs your Champions GM is now (fill in the blank)

 

Satire, perhaps, but just asking for trouble. (Also nowhere near as funny as the previous posts.)

 

Take it to the NGD, people!

 

*shrug*

 

Humor is relative. Obviously, the other poster thought it was funny, as did a friend I tried some of these out on.

[Balabanto]

Re: Signs your Champions GM is now (fill in the blank)

 

Signs your Champions GM is now James K. Polk.

 

6) He promises you he'll run a game, but that he'll never run any others once it's over.

 

5) He keeps every campaign promise he makes at the beginning of the campaign.

 

4) Unfortunately, this means that he buys up other games wholesale to prevent his gamers from joining them.

 

3) He goes to war to solve some of the promises, and slaughters the players of several other games, including sacrificing some of his own players.

 

2) He buys out a game that is huge and vast but has almost no players. Woe be to the people who played this game when they discover what people do with it a hundred years later.

 

1) Six weeks after his game ends, and everything he said to you about the game was great, he dies, leaving you wanting more, but knowing he never would have given you anything.

[Wormhole]

Re: Signs your Champions GM is now (fill in the blank)

 

Signs your Champions GM is now Dr. Zoidberg from Futurama

 

1) Every pizza ordered on game night is covered with anchoves...until they finally become extinct from overfishing.

 

2) The Hit Locations Chart on the inside of his GM Screen is upsidedown.

 

3) He is constantly mistaking a particular male PC for a woman or a robot (or "rowbot" as he pronounces it).

 

4) Your gaming table now has claw marks at the place he sits.

 

5) He wears sandles.

 

6) He gives his NPC write-ups that personal touch by writing them in his own ink.

 

7) He coughs up pearls on occasion.

[AdamLeisemann]

Re: Signs your Champions GM is now (fill in the blank)

 

Sign your FH GM is Brian Jacques:

 

1) The players all play mice or some other small rodent typically associated with being harmless.

 

2) All the villains are rats or foxes or mustelids.

 

3) The first session is good. The second and thrid sessions are fun. Then every session afterwards is a repeat of the first session.

 

4) He finds excuses to incorporate music into the game.

 

(FYI, I used to be a fan of the Redwall books.)

[FenrisUlf]

Re: Signs your Champions GM is now (fill in the blank)

 

Sign your FH GM is Brian Jacques:

 

1) The players all play mice or some other small rodent typically associated with being harmless.

 

2) All the villains are rats or foxes or mustelids.

 

3) The first session is good. The second and thrid sessions are fun. Then every session afterwards is a repeat of the first session.

 

4) He finds excuses to incorporate music into the game.

 

(FYI, I used to be a fan of the Redwall books.)

 

If I might ask, why did you stop being a fan?

[Susano]

Re: Signs your Champions GM is now (fill in the blank)

 

If I might ask' date=' why did you stop being a fan?[/quote']

 

See Sign #3.

[AdamLeisemann]

Re: Signs your Champions GM is now (fill in the blank)

 

Thank you for explaining it perfectly, Mister Surbrook.

[Susano]

Re: Signs your Champions GM is now (fill in the blank)

 

Thank you for explaining it perfectly' date=' Mister Surbrook.[/quote']

 

Hey, I had the exact same experience.

[The Main Man]

Re: Signs your Champions GM is now (fill in the blank)

 

Same experience here.

 

Signs that your GM is now Ashlee Simpson:

1) You catch her reading entirely from a game module and completely railroads the game.

 

2) Once you call her out on it, she dances out of the room. Poorly.

[The Main Man]

Re: Signs your Champions GM is now (fill in the blank)

 

A minute? That seems like a long time just to make 3 or 4 rolls and count them up.

I have a bad gauge of time; I should clock the act and correct the post.

But it was less than a minute.

Listen to some Dragonforce to know what I'm talking about though.

[FenrisUlf]

Re: Signs your Champions GM is now (fill in the blank)

 

If I might ask' date=' why did you stop being a fan?[/quote']

 

See Sign #3.

 

Thank you for explaining it perfectly' date=' Mister Surbrook.[/quote']

 

For me, that was only half of it. The other half was the endless "Disney Morality", which just got so sickening that it was all I could do to finish the third book. Funny thing is, I don't mind the classic "monstrously evil orc clones" bit, but when it was done in Redwall I just couldnt take it.

 

Note: I also get very sick of novels using humans where one group [Muslims, Christians, enviroementalists, Greeks...] is depicted as so inhumanly evil they leave slime trails when they walk.

[casualplayer]

Re: Signs your Champions GM is now (fill in the blank)

 

Signs your Champions GM is now Robert Heinlein:

 

 

9) Redheads are as common as dirt and all related, necessitating sex between themselves.

 

10) Your amount of chutzpah is directly proportional to your survival chances.

 

11) When describing scenes he is extremely meticulous and precise, insisting that "the house is white on this side."

[sinanju]

Re: Signs your Champions GM is now (fill in the blank)

 

Signs that your Champions GM is now SteamTeck:

 

10. The GM rolls all the dice...

 

9. ...and the players don't seem to mind (or even think it unusual).

 

8. The campaign has been going on for 30 years (real time), and centuries in-game.

 

7. Numerous PCs are the children, grandchildren or great-grandchildren of earlier PCs

 

6. Many (perhaps most) adventure plots can be traced back to events in earlier (sometimes years earlier) adventures, which can be traced back to.....

 

5. The GM has a foot deep file card box full of NPC character cards...

 

4 ...which he periodically updates (with XP, notes on new relationships, children, alliances, enmities, etc.) as game years go by.

 

3. The GM has a 3 ring binder full of plots, with notes on which PCs will or won't work for them (no telepaths in the murder mysteries...).

 

2. Pulp Heroic conventions are a natural law.

 

And the # 1 sign that your new Champions GM is Steamteck:

 

1. The Master Villain of the campaign is an 8,000 year-old immortal with a face like Satan and a brow like Shakespeare!

[MilkmanDan]

Re: Signs your Champions GM is now (fill in the blank)

 

Signs that your Champions GM is now Ayn Rand:

 

1) NPCs regularly pause to give rambling, two-hour speeches that only vaguely touch upon plot points.

2) You know whether or not an NPC is a good guy by how much money they have.

3) The GM waxes philosophical about how their favorite pronoun is "I".

4) The only music allowed at the gaming table is Rush, but nothing newer than 2112 is allowed.

5) Nobody will let you borrow their dice to make a roll unless it's clearly in their own self-interest.

6) Even though almost all of the players think the game was awful, one or two people will insist for years afterwards that it was the greatest game ever played and if all gamers played that way the world would be a much better place.

[Guest steamteck]

Re: Signs your Champions GM is now (fill in the blank)

 

Sinanju seems to remember my obessions very well LOL. I'm afraid have had to expand past the single card file( its only 8 inches deep) though I have one for each of my two campaigns. We have a great time.

[Boll Weevil]

Re: Signs your Champions GM is now (fill in the blank)

 

Nice ones, and I have to add

 

11) The campaigns start wonderfully, have really interesting themes and ideas, and as the campaign goes on, the GM seems to flounder, and every campaign he has ever had turned to total garbage by the end.

 

12) Your are with your gamer friends talking about other things when one of them mentions what the characters will be doing in this week's Thursday game night. Aghast, you can't believe that campaign is still going. You lost interest and quit showing up back in 1996 and thought the group had too!

[stmichaeldet]

Re: Signs your Champions GM is now (fill in the blank)

 

Signs that your Champions GM is now Philip K. Dick:

 

1. PCs can be either normal schlubs with little or no ambition, or barking mad.

 

2. Female NPCs are irredemably evil and based on one of his ex-wives. Exceptions: The ones based on his current SO are helpful until he breaks up with them, and the Dark Haired Girl is your salvation.

 

3. Everyone will consume psychopharmacuticals by the handfull. If they can't get them, they'll self-medicate with whatever is handy.

 

4. Taking any psychedelics will kick off a trip that will last for the rest of the campaign.

 

5. Inanimate objects will talk to you. If they are supposed to, they will generally demand money to operate. ("Anybody got change for the front door?") If not, they'll do it anyway, just to freak you out.

 

6. Every few sessions, reality will shift somehow, leaving everything about the campaign world and the PCs up for grabs.

 

7. The PCs are all actually androids, or in cold sleep, or dead, but won't know it until the end of the campaign.

 

8. The campaign notes consist of uncounted volumes of rambling journals speculating on the true nature of reality and God.

 

9. Eventually, you will meet God, only to find that He's really an ancient alien sattelite orbiting the Earth.

[sinanju]

Re: Signs your Champions GM is now (fill in the blank)

 

Signs that your Champions GM is now Ayn Rand:

 

1) NPCs regularly pause to give rambling, two-hour speeches that only vaguely touch upon plot points.

2) You know whether or not an NPC is a good guy by how much money they have.

 

I beg to differ. Money isn't the most telling sign--there were plenty of wealthy bad guys. How _attractive_ they are is the key.

 

3) The GM waxes philosophical about how their favorite pronoun is "I".

4) The only music allowed at the gaming table is Rush, but nothing newer than 2112 is allowed.

5) Nobody will let you borrow their dice to make a roll unless it's clearly in their own self-interest.

6) Even though almost all of the players think the game was awful, one or two people will insist for years afterwards that it was the greatest game ever played and if all gamers played that way the world would be a much better place.

[saiyanslayer]

Re: Signs your Champions GM is now (fill in the blank)

 

Signs your GM is Akira toriyama (creator of Dragonball z)

 

- a single battle lasts 3 game sessions. Each round takes a half hour

 

- in that battle, the planet is returned to the stone age

 

- planets are considered expendable

 

- Major villains have Multiform power, for a MUCH stronger form

 

- he awards character points mid game, and allows you to spend them immediately

 

- the strongest PCs have Distinct Feature: Monkey Tail

 

- PCs that have multiform must take the limitation Takes Extra Time, yet no villain would take advantage of this

 

- anyone within an area code of a transforming character would take notice

 

- pushing rules are extended from 10 pts. to 100 pts.

 

- if the PCs have no chance to beat the villain, the GM hands out character points like its candy

[Susano]

Re: Signs your Champions GM is now (fill in the blank)

 

Signs your GM is Akira toriyama (creator of Dragonball z)

 

- a single battle lasts 3 game sessions. Each round takes a half hour

 

- in that battle, the planet is returned to the stone age

 

- planets are considered expendable

 

- Major villains have Multiform power, for a MUCH stronger form

 

- he awards character points mid game, and allows you to spend them immediately

 

- the strongest PCs have Distinct Feature: Monkey Tail

 

- PCs that have multiform must take the limitation Takes Extra Time, yet no villain would take advantage of this

 

- anyone within an area code of a transforming character would take notice

 

- pushing rules are extended from 10 pts. to 100 pts.

 

- if the PCs have no chance to beat the villain, the GM hands out character points like its candy

 

- The final, epic battle with the story arc villain can last 6-8 game sessions.

 

- Death is only the GM's way to saying "Hey, slow down and let everyone else have a turn."

[wrestlinggeek]

Re: Signs your Champions GM is now (fill in the blank)

 

Signs your GM is Prof. Farnsworth (from Futurama)

 

1) "Good news, everyone! You're being sent to some random place to perform an inane mission that seems totally mundane, but may well lead to the destruction of our entire space-time continuum."

 

2) Falls asleep in the middle of an adventure. Sometimes in the middle of a sentence.

 

3) Has you encounter duplicates of yourselves from a parallel universe. Even though these duplicates not only look like your party, but act exactly the same as your party, he insists that they must be evil, because everyone knows that all parallel universes are filled with nothing but evil duplicates.

 

4) The most scientificly advanced species in the galaxy are the Globetrotters, from planet Globetrotter.

 

5) All Master Villains have an army of Atomic Zombie Super-Men.

[OddHat]

Re: Signs your Champions GM is now (fill in the blank)

 

Signs your GM is Zornwil:

 

1) Cyborgs

 

2) Pirates

 

3) Ninjas

 

4) Monkeys

 

5) In Space

[Manic Typist]

Re: Signs your Champions GM is now (fill in the blank)

 

Dr. Destroyer as a GM?