Signs your Champions GM is now (fill in the blank)

[Susano]

Re: Signs your Champions GM is now (fill in the blank)

 

I was considering Signs Your New GM is now 4chan (http://www.4chan.org/)... but it might now be work safe....

 

But let's try...

 

1) Anytime you describe an event from your PC's back history, he states "Pics or it didn't happen."

 

2) When you roll an 18, he states "You're doing it wrong."

 

3) All Teen Supers immediately get "Hunted by Pedobear" on a 14-.

 

4) Anyone who offers up a female PC is told "t*ts or GTFO".

 

5) Anyone who plays a Japanese or anime-related character is labeled a "Weaboo" or a "Wananese."

 

6) Your PC doesn't learn a foreign language... he learns "moonspeak."

 

7) Anytime you roll a 3, he declares "Epic Win!"

 

8) Unless you're playing a catgirl, don't even think about bringing an animal-themed character to the table.

 

9) It's pretty much a given you're going to meet Dr. Doom. And lose.

 

10) And it's 50/50 as to whether you'll kick the Punisher's butt or he will kick yours.

 

11) Despite all his flaws (and he has many...), he's amazingly fond of Hellboy and Usagi Yojimbo.

[BoloOfEarth]

Re: Signs your Champions GM is now (fill in the blank)

 

Signs your Champions GM is now a mime:

 

(1) No more villain soliloquies. Ever.

 

(1a) Because of this, Foxbat seems saner.

 

(2) Nothing that happens in your game ever appears on the "Quote of the Week" thread.

 

(3) Your character gets hit with a 4d6 Running Drain (walking against the wind).

 

(4) Villains sent to Stronghold are kept locked in invisible boxes.

 

(5) Your character learns a new Language: Charades.

 

(6) Your UNTIL liason's name is Marcel Marceau.

 

(7) Dr. Destroyer is now known as a criminal mastermime.

[Dreadnought]

Re: Signs your Champions GM is now (fill in the blank)

 

Signs your Champions GM is now...Me:

 

1. Your new super-base comes free of charge.

 

2. Nobody on the team trusts the AI in the new base...and it keeps asking for a robot body.

 

Amusingly, this actually sounds like my Champions GM. When we defeated Professor Havok, he let us keep Havok's base on the condition that we didn't reprogram the AI, Havoktron. Hilarity ensues.

 

 

Signs your Champions GM is now God:

 

1) The setting is an epic universe with a history stretching back several billion years (or several thousand depending who you ask).

 

2) Every NPC has a name and full history. Even the ones you'll never meet.

 

3) Many events in the campaign make no logical sense.

 

4) Every so often, he sends a NPC in who breaks the fourth wall, communicating the GMs opinion directly to the characters. He uses NPCs like these to set the ground rules for the campaign.

[sinanju]

Re: Signs your Champions GM is now (fill in the blank)

 

Amusingly, this actually sounds like my Champions GM. When we defeated Professor Havok, he let us keep Havok's base on the condition that we didn't reprogram the AI, Havoktron. Hilarity ensues.

 

 

Signs your Champions GM is now God:

 

1) The setting is an epic universe with a history stretching back several billion years (or several thousand depending who you ask).

 

2) Every NPC has a name and full history. Even the ones you'll never meet.

 

3) Many events in the campaign make no logical sense.

 

4) Every so often, he sends a NPC in who breaks the fourth wall, communicating the GMs opinion directly to the characters. He uses NPCs like these to set the ground rules for the campaign.

 

5) The game universe is epic in scale, but only a mind-numbingly small part of it has been explored and mapped out yet.

 

6) The GM seems content to let the players determine their own motivations and goals. This "free will" approach provides maximum elbow room for players, but leaves the game to drift quite a lot, since no overarching theme is apparent.

[OddHat]

Re: Signs your Champions GM is now (fill in the blank)

 

Signs I'm your GM:

 

1) The world background is detailed, stretches back tens of thousands of years, and is serious on the surface.

 

2) Your first opponents are likely to be gorillas in diving helmets. Their leader will be a gorilla in a diving helmet and cape.

 

3) The GM will then try to find a way to inject pathos or horror into a battle against gorillas in diving helmets.

 

4) Battles with epic, world conquering villains will rarely last more than one or two turns, and may end even faster.

 

5) Battles with theme villains who travel in a flying hotdog cart and attack you with mustard and ketchup might take three turns or more and range over the entire city.

 

6) Almost everything is in some way related to the campaigns epic meta-plot.

 

7) The campaign will almost certainly end before the meta-plot is resolved.

 

8) Stylish, cool or funny almost always trump logical or tactically sound.

 

9) The villain thinks he's the hero.

 

10) The most powerful characters in the campaign are likely to be old ladies or middle aged men in suits.

[Mister E]

Re: Signs your Champions GM is now (fill in the blank)

 

"... is serious on the surface: and deadly serious sub-surface."

 

[Enforcer84]

Re: Signs your Champions GM is now (fill in the blank)

 

Signs Your GM is Me (circa Highschool because I haven't GM'd in a while)

 

1. Mastervillains and uberteams are easier to defeat in combat the first time you meet them than they should be.

 

 

2. the second time evens that out.

 

3. The Hero Team will have an annoyingly smug and knowledgable patron.

 

4. My mom will make me let my brother play.

 

5. His character will be weird

 

6. The games are catered by Izzy's or Chez Chad.

 

7. There are three permanant seats and two constantly rotating ones.

 

8. The tone will be decidedly light. Just not every adventure.

 

9. He can be bribed.

 

10. Two of the Players (not PC's) with have intense rivalries.

[Steve]

Re: Signs your Champions GM is now (fill in the blank)

 

Okay, here's a challenge for the thread.

 

Signs your Champions GM is now Steve Long.

[Hermit]

Re: Signs your Champions GM is now (fill in the blank)

 

Okay, here's a challenge for the thread.

 

Signs your Champions GM is now Steve Long.

(Not that I would know but I'll take a shot )

 

1) Never ever tick off anyone in a trenchcoat and fedora in game or you will regret it.

2) characters with damage shields are suddenly built on at least 50 more points, but are no tougher for it.

3) the players with clown concepts for their characters are told to try again, or at least make the character wear black.

4) The city setting is REALLY detailed, with things like public bathrooms through out it actually marked ON THE MAP!

[Chris Goodwin]

Re: Signs your Champions GM is now (fill in the blank)

 

Signs your GM is now FARK:

 

1. Some sessions will last twenty hours, some will last twenty minutes.

 

2. At some point during the session, someone is bound to make an offhanded comment that everyone finds hilarious, and will instantly become a cliche.

 

3. Every session can be described by a headline, and will have a single tag word devoted to it.

 

4. Every so often, one session takes place in Florida and will be the weirdest session so far.

 

5. Hilarity will ensue.

 

6. Once in a while, a session will be devoted to photoshops.

 

7. Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, and Ric Romero, not to mention whoever is currently getting their 15 minutes, show up as frequent NPCs.

 

8. Beer and boobs are guaranteed to get you extra XP.

 

9. Occasionally, characters will be offered three choices of actions. Two will be reasonable, and the third will always be the most destructive (self- or otherwise) and most likely to get you arrested as possible, and guess which one they choose?

 

10. Charles Darwin is worshipped as a saint.

 

Edit: You can use it if it's funny.

[AdamLeisemann]

Re: Signs your Champions GM is now (fill in the blank)

 

Okay, here's a challenge for the thread.

 

Signs your Champions GM is now Steve Long.

 

I'd leave that one to Steve Long himself.

[Susano]

Re: Signs your Champions GM is now (fill in the blank)

 

I've posted this to my website:

 

http://surbrook.devermore.net/herosource/signs_your_GM.html

[FenrisUlf]

Re: Signs your Champions GM is now (fill in the blank)

 

Say, Susano, can I post your link in my LJ so other people can get a laugh out of those signs?

[Susano]

Re: Signs your Champions GM is now (fill in the blank)

 

Say' date=' Susano, can I post your link in my LJ so other people can get a laugh out of those signs?[/quote']

 

Sure. I mean, it's all stuff from the boards anyway.

[Catacomb]

Re: Signs your Champions GM is now (fill in the blank)

 

Signs Noam Chomsky is your GM.

 

 

1) An incredibly vile and evil race will be introduced in your first session and despite your thoughts to the contrary they are the good guys. You silly heroes are just opressing them.

2) The 'Rich' perk will only be allowed if you are willing to admit that you are truly a villain.

3) If you ever question the GM you have 'Misinterperated the facts' or 'Taken the campaign out of context'.

4) The party may only ever attempt to help those in their immediate area or city. Any branching out will be seen as 'wicked agression'.

5) If you choose to play as Americans then your characters real name must sound German. Afterall, you are an evil Nazi.

6) There is an illuminati, oh yes, there is an illuminati. Although they are called 'The Elites' and he gets really angry when you use the term 'illuminati'.

 

 

Signs H.P. Lovecraft is your GM

 

 

1) Everyone must take Disadvantage: curious to the point that it will kill me.

2) Ego is the most important stat in the game.

3) You show up to the game with three different character sheets.

4) Looking at the twisted corridors of the temple that has been drawn on the playmat makes you go a little crazy.

5) You win if you die... and stay dead.

6) You DO NOT want the magical, mystical, or otherwise mysterious items that you have found.

7) You need the GM to repeat his narratives four or five times before you understand them, and then wish he hadn't.

 

 

Signs Clive Barker is your GM

 

 

1) Blood

2) Unnameable horror that has a very earthly sense of humor including pithy remarks and sometimes dance moves.

3) More blood

4) At some point during the night someone will be skinned from head to toe. This will not necessarily kill them, in fact, it may make them stronger.

5) Even more blood

6) DO NOT! Play with the puzzle box

[BoloOfEarth]

Re: Signs your Champions GM is now (fill in the blank)

 

Signs that your Champions GM is now Paris Hilton:

 

(1) Every character has an irritating Chihuahua animal companion.

 

(2) Pink costumes. 'Nuff said.

 

(3) Every NPC has the same vapid expression.

 

(4) "Normal" people are now called "Mundane."

 

(5) 80% of your adventures take place in shopping malls or nightclubs.

 

(6) But you gotta love that 10-point Wealth perk for all heroes.

 

(7) Villains get released from PRIMUS custody for the lamest reasons. ("But my business manager told me doing that wasn't illegal!")

 

(8) COM becomes the new STR, and INT is of course a dump stat.

 

(9) XP are based upon how many tabloids your picture graces, not how many bad guys you catch.

[jkwleisemann]

Re: Signs your Champions GM is now (fill in the blank)

 

Y'know... the *sad* thing about that is that you could *probably* figure out a way to turn it into an entertaining game.

[ShinDangaioh]

Re: Signs your Champions GM is now (fill in the blank)

 

J.K. Rowlings?

[Balabanto]

Re: Signs your Champions GM is now (fill in the blank)

 

An ape...in a Man Suit! (As long as people are still staring at that and saying "What the HELL is he doing in that game?" I might as well drop some more money on it now. )

 

10) Humans are surprisingly inferior to gorillas.

 

9) Ape technology is always superior!

 

8) Female members of the team start ignoring everyone in favor of the local zoo!

 

7) He says "Keep your hands off me, you damned dirty human!" a lot.

 

6) He rolls dice with his feet.

 

5) There's always a bunch of bananas on the gaming table.

 

4) Climbing, Clinging, and Swinging are common powers. Flight is not. FTL is just right out.

 

3) He calls you "Hairless ones"

 

2) He says his King rules because he's blessed by a meteor.

 

1) His game is limited in sessions by mutual agreement with other gamemasters, despite being wildly popular. No one knows why.

[Spidey88]

Re: Signs your Champions GM is now (fill in the blank)

 

Signs I'm your GM:

 

1) Nutballs are fun law: Foxbat lasts longer in a fight than Grond and Holocaust put together, and shows up more often. His luck is only half the equation.

 

2) Fantastic recruitment law: VIPER isn't particularly dangerous, but is persistent to the point that you have to wonder if a) half the city isn't made up of sleeper agents, and said agents are all total masochists to keep trying to stop the heroes. VIPER is also behind everything, and hunts everyone.

 

3) Ectotherm competence law: Mammalian or avian-based superhumans almost never show up. Reptilian, amphibian, cephalopod, or arthropod-based superhumans (or races in fantasy settings) show up with considerable frequency, however - and tend to be either frighteningly competent or just plain frightening (often both). Characters of these types tend to be saints or megalomanaical bastards, with very few falling in between.

 

3a) The real thing is better law: Monstrous versions of conventional arthropods are often represented by living or preserved specimens of their real-life counterparts on the minatures table, eg. emperor scorpion = huge monstrous scorpion. Horror on the part of the players is generally ignored. On that note, the players will almost certainly face a giant hermit crab at some point.

 

3b) Be careful where you sit law: don't swat at that tickly feeling on your leg (just alert the GM), and shake out your shoes before you go home for the night.

 

4) Smerb's law (aka Octavius' law): any post-apocalyptic game absolutely must, without fail, contain a sentient mutant octopus on the side of the angels.

 

5) Diversity law: Nonhumanoid races in general are relatively common and accepted in fantasy settings, and any "evil" race has at least some good individuals - from orcs to chromatic dragons.

 

6) Guiltless cannon fodder law: No PC ever has to worry that he's slaughtered an innocent, however - those remarkable individuals described in law 5 hardly ever hang around with their evil relatives, and if they do, are very vocal about their true intentions. The very fact that an individual is opposing the PCs (without a lot of persuasive dialogue) is practically an admission of guilt. Faceless minions are nearly all sociopathic, sadistic orphans.

 

7) Packrat law: No character sheet, map, or diagram is ever thrown away. The GM still has piles and piles of 15-year-old TMNT and Other Strangeness characters at his disposal if you get testy.

 

8) Inverse packrat law: Every game session takes 15 extra minutes, minimum, to start, as the GM needs to fish things out of multiple piles of papers.

 

9) Punching is boring law: PCs are rewarded for unconventional battle tactics. They don't always work, but they're usually fun. Improvised weapons are surprisingly functional as well - from tables to sinks to unconscious mutant woodpeckers.

 

10) Useful loot law: if the GM takes the time to describe a looted weapon or scavenged item, it'll probably come in handy at some point. Players will rarely find something they can't use, or at least sell.

 

11) Kermit's law: All dice the GM uses are green. As are the pencils. Many of his GMNPCs are as well (see laws 3 and 13).

 

12) Conspiracy law: no plot thread dropped is ever forgotten - just filed for later usage. Things are often as they seem, but the villains don't always spill their guts completely. No details are totally irrelevant - anything you brush off will come back to you at some point.

 

13) If I can't play, I'll do the next best thing law: chances are there'll be an NPC that is a member of the party. In a Champions game, he's usually a speedster/martial artist/totemistic type. In a fantasy game, he's usually a ranger/thief/scout/ninja type. Get used to him - he'll be around for a while.

 

14) Heroic invulnerability law: as long as your character was "doing the right thing" and not being a total jerk or dumbass, he'll at least survive nearly anything unless you say otherwise. Any sufficiently noble sacrifice is often good cause for a "radiation accident".

 

15) It's not really yours anyway law: The team base/vehicles are free.

 

16) What Enforcer84 said law: don't expect a villain to go down nearly as easily the second time you fight him. He was off his game that first time (see law 1).

 

17) That sounds like way too much fun law: I think I want Oddhat to be my GM.

[TheQuestionMan]

Re: Signs your Champions GM is now (fill in the blank)

 

Looks good to me.

 

 

Cheers

 

 

QM

["V"]

Re: Signs your Champions GM is now (fill in the blank)

 

J.K. Rowlings?

 

Let's see:

 

1. Every adventure will contain somewhere within it a section of backstory that explains the plot of every adventure in the campaign so far. Amazingly this will seem to fit with the current flow of the adventure and help keep the players on track.

 

2. The first gaming session will take about three hours as the player characters come together to thwart a bank robbery by Ogre. The second session, also about three hours, has the characters confront a small group of villains at a diamond heist. The third session, about four hours long, will be similar. At this point realising the players like the campaign things change. The fourth session lasts for sixteen hours straight. The fifth is thirty six hours without a break and the sixth is about the same as that. While there are still only one or two actual encounters during each session the GM insists on roleplaying through the characters' lives as they go shopping (or is that shipping?), make breakfast, darn holes in their costume ("Darn these holes!" Ron ejaculated angrily. "Stop that at once," Hermione snapped, "it's hard enough threading this needle without it being all sticky.") and so on.

 

3. About halfway through the campaign you realise with a certain amount of concerned awe that the key facts you need to succeed were almost certainly mentioned in passing by an NPC in the opening moments of the first encounter of the first episode.

 

4. You can figure out who the goodies and baddies are, and what their backstories are by having a basic knowledge of Latin or English etymology or a general familiarity with world mythology and then asking their name. Hint: Any NPC called Judas Malevolentia is probably to be avoided. If their name is even remotely connected to any type of animal look for feeding bowls in their room.

 

5. Don't get too attached to your DNPCs.

 

6. Overweight people are NOT to be trusted.

 

7. Keep an eye on Stronghold. The revolving door policy is back in force.

 

8. Your GM has a copy of Anagram Genius. Get yours now.

 

9. Racism is a bad thing.

 

10. Racism is a bad thing.

 

11. Racism is a bad thing.

 

12. YES WE GOT THAT ONE THANK YOU!

 

13. The NPCs are NOT going to save you. It's up to you. Deal with it.

 

14. You may gripe about the GM's foibles, but you'll have a damned good time doing it.

 

15. You get even more flak from Evangelical groups about your gaming than you did when you bought a copy of TSR's infamous AL93 Module ("Dreadful Dungeon of Thelemic Crowleyism" in 1989) and then read it aloud in Church. Backwards. To the tune of "Stairway to Heaven"

[Bazza]

Re: Signs your Champions GM is now (fill in the blank)

 

15. You get even more flak from Evangelical groups about your gaming than you did when you bought a copy of TSR's infamous AL93 Module ("Dreadful Dungeon of Thelemic Crowleyism" in 1989) and then read it aloud in Church. Backwards. To the tune of "Stairway to Heaven"

:D

[Mephron]

Re: Signs your Champions GM is now (fill in the blank)

 

As someone who plays in this campaign, I now vet it for truth.

 

Signs your champions GM is now ME!

 

(Yes! I am unafraid to laugh at myself)

 

10) Players sometimes ask you "How many of my PC's will be showing up THIS week?"

 

True.

 

9) Players sometimes ask you "Will I get a higher property damage rating if I do this?"

 

True. This past year set a new winner in the PDR Listings (16 blocks of downtown San Diego).

 

8) People travel 267 miles or more to resolve a single massive combat once every five years or so.

 

True, seen and played in.

 

7) Because the Brawling Balabanto pays for All the Food!

 

For the big ones, yes; otherwise, we pay our share, except for Sundays where we rotate.

 

6) The GM's cat leaps onto the table, causing people to ask how many levels of growth it has. Usually, it sits down, allowing us to estimate based on the hex map. Picking up all the miniatures afterwards, however...

 

I have never actually seen this happen.

 

5) Your face screws up in an expression best left to cartoon characters when the PC does something completely unexpected, and then you say "I'm not sure there's rules for that..."

 

True, and been the cause of it at least five times (which I think makes me #1 on the list.)

 

4) Some people have four hour conversations with you about what's going on in game.

 

True, mostly because I have a character with long-reaching plans.

 

3) You get paged over the internet with "What the hell was so and so thinking this evening?" and then a three hour "I'm not really sure either" discussion starts.

 

Or I get paged with "what the hell was so and so thinking tonight?".

 

2) You mail your stuff to the GM at 2 AM, expecting it to be ready by tomorrow's game, and he PROCESSES IT, LIKE A MORON, INSTEAD OF SLEEPING!

 

Calls for speculation on the moronity thereof.

 

1) You're pretty sure the villain has a plan. Unfortunately, some of the villain's plan fruition dates are sometime in the year 2050, just before the GM dies.

 

"Get me my master plan, section 142, section b, subsection 3." -- actual supervillian quote.

[Balabanto]

Re: Signs your Champions GM is now (fill in the blank)

 

The cats have since matured. They are just too damned lazy. They've learned that the Brawling Balabanto does not like feline invasions during awesome action!