Signs your Champions GM is now (fill in the blank)

[Hermit]

Meant in good humor for the most part

 

Signs your Champions GM is now Bendis:

1) It takes three game sessions to finish the team conference, one to fight, and two more to sum up.

2) For no particular reason, your group is wiped out by a fellow team mate over a sub plot that was resolved years ago.

3) You find your characters saying 'uh' or never quite finishing their sentences, instead going '...'

 

Signs your Champions GM is now Lucus:

1) Aliens are among us, and most of them are goofy or MIGHT be intimidating if only they were three times as tall!

2) Your character's romantic interest turns out to be sibling in the middle of the story.. yuck!

3)Turns out magic is now based on small bacteria in your blood cells. Who knew?

[CrosshairCollie]

Re: Signs your Champions GM is now (fill in the blank)

 

Signs your Champions GM is now Claremont

1. Nobody ever shuts up.

2. Plotlines from games he ran 20 years ago suddenly pop up and threaten the world.

3. He GMPCs a 1500 point Asian/British Ninja Telepath.

[Publius]

Re: Signs your Champions GM is now (fill in the blank)

 

3)Turns out magic is now based on small bacteria in your blood cells. Who knew?

Yeah, but are they Longimidians or Wattsiclorians? I can never remember

[OddHat]

Re: Signs your Champions GM is now (fill in the blank)

 

Signs your GM is Millar:

 

1) Your enemies, no longer content with defeating you, now plan to humiliate, torture and rape you.

2) So do members of your own government, the general public, the people you just saved, and any NPC Team Mates.

3) No NPC thinks that there's anything surprising or unusual about this.

4) Your powers mysteriously stop working and your PER rolls are blown as often as necessary for #s 1 and 2 to occur.

[Haven Walkur]

Re: Signs your Champions GM is now (fill in the blank)

 

And what about Rob Liefeld as GM? {Oh, don't mind me, I'm just making trouble.} ;-)

[Hermit]

Re: Signs your Champions GM is now (fill in the blank)

 

And what about Rob Liefeld as GM? {Oh' date=' don't mind me, I'm just making trouble.} ;-)[/quote']

 

1) The male characters develop manboobs

2) Teenage girls suddenly have large crotches

3) Everyone carries huge guns, whether they need them or not.

[sinanju]

Re: Signs your Champions GM is now (fill in the blank)

 

SIgns Your Champions GM is now The Producers of LOST

1. The first game session is exciting, surprising and leaves you eager for more.

2. Every subsequent session throws more questions at you but resolves nothing.

3. Your "secret" team base has more visitors than the island in "Gilligan's Island."

 

Signs Your Champions GM is now Laurell K. Hamilton

1. Your PCs all become Mary Sues, effortlessly breezing through threats without breaking a sweat.

2. You begin acquiring XPs in truckload lots, revising your character sheets after every session to spend them on nifty new powers without rhyme or reason.

3. Time slows to a crawl (covering maybe 20 minutes in a night's gaming) and plots are forgotten in favor of endless, poorly role-played sex.

[transmetahuman]

Re: Signs your Champions GM is now (fill in the blank)

 

Signs your Champions GM is now Spider Robinson:

 

1. You find that you can tell with 100% certainty whether an NPC is a good guy or a villain with a simple test. If they're Beatles fans, punsters, or know obscure blues lyrics, you can trust them absolutely - and in fact are expected to.

 

2. Your team mentalist starts losing xp anytime he acts in a less than saintly manner, because "telepaths just wouldn't be like that, man".

 

3. NPCs make plans or deductions based on blithe assumptions, because so-and-so "must be true", ignoring other perfectly reasonable explanations that also fit available evidence... and of course are proved correct.

[teh bunneh]

Claremont is ee cummings

 

Signs your Champions GM is now Claremont

1. Nobody

 

ever

 

shuts up.

2. Plotlines

 

from games he ran 20 years ago

 

suddenly

 

pop up

and threaten

 

the world.

3. He GMPCs

 

a

 

1500 point

Asian/British Ninja

 

 

Telepath.

 

 

Fixed that for ya.

[Shaft]

Re: Signs your Champions GM is now (fill in the blank)

 

Signs Your Champions GM is Garth Ennis:

 

1) He runs a Four Colour Game with all the Optional Criticial Hit, Impairment, Disabling and Bleeding Rules;

 

2) After the first session, all the players have learned the above rules by memory;

 

3) Code vs Killing is replaced with Casual Killer on the Permitted Psych Lims list;

 

4) The NPC villains turn on one another in a humourous orgy of gore and excessive violence, leaving a mass of barely sentient, maimed organs strung together for the PCs to finish off.

[Lord Mhoram]

Re: Signs your Champions GM is now (fill in the blank)

 

Signs your GM is Alan Moore.

 

1) No matter what kind of tone you had planned the game turns dark, dreary and violent.

2) Any real life/historical NPCs start acting completley out of character, or completely off from previous encounters.

3) When you play your character the way you want, he gets pissy and claims "That isn't what that character is supposed to do" and leaves the group.

[Lord Mhoram]

Re: Signs your Champions GM is now (fill in the blank)

 

Signs your GM is Robert Jordan (for FH)

 

1) The campaign starts off fairly well, but after 5 or 6 adventures, things really start to drag and things really begin to lose focus.

2) S&M gear starts showing up as magic itmes.

3) He has the annoying tendency once or twice a session to use exactly the same phrase to describe NPS and thier actions, even ones that have been with the group from the beginning.

[Lord Liaden]

Re: Signs your Champions GM is now (fill in the blank)

 

Signs your Champions GM is now James Starlin:

1) The campaign's main villain repeatedly becomes omnipotent.

2) The main villain is finally defeated by a NPC introduced halfway through the campaign.

3) Afterward the PCs watch while the main villain saves the universe.

4) If the PCs by some fluke defeat the main villain, the GM later decrees that that was actually a robot/clone/disguised flunky.

[CrosshairCollie]

Re: Claremont is ee cummings

 

Fixed that for ya.

 

No, that's 'Signs your Champions GM is now Shatner'.

[AliceTheOwl]

Re: Signs your Champions GM is now (fill in the blank)

 

Signs your Champions GM is Stephen King:

 

1. The phrase "I check to make sure it can't kill me first" becomes standard SOP when approaching anything, no matter how innocuous.

2. You STILL go through a new character every other session.

3. The self-inserted GMPC is NOT a Mary Sue; in fact, he's klutzy and a little stupid.

4. When bored, he tosses your characters into another dimension with some horrific twist off a cultural archetype.

5. All villains you encounter, when you meet them, will be wearing a "sardonic grin". (Thanks to Grimble for that one!)

 

Signs your Champions GM is Rumiko Takahashi (writer of Inu Yasha, Ranma, etc)

1. Your male character has bigger boobs than all the female PCs', combined.

2. The female PCs pay no points for the Giant Hammer O' Doom they heft around.

3. There's a romantic subplot, but she refuses to let you address it.

4. After three sessions, you map out the love geometry, and run out of paper.

5. The game's been running every week for 12 years, and you still have no idea how you're ever going to resolve this mess.

[teh bunneh]

Re: Claremont is ee cummings

 

No' date=' that's 'Signs your Champions GM is now Shatner'. [/quote']

 

See attached image.

 

Bill.

(Surely I can't be the only person who remembers this?)

[jkwleisemann]

Re: Signs your Champions GM is now (fill in the blank)

 

Signs your Champions GM is now Billy Ja- err, Tom Laughlin (hard to tell the difference....)

 

1: Martial Artists are required to take CSL's with the limitation: "Only when not wearing shoes."

2: Bad guys wait around and let you take your shoes off so you can use those CSL's.

3: Every heroic character is required to have Code vs Killing and Total Pacifist.

4: Every heroic character is required to have Berserk: When minorities are oppressed, insulted, or harmed.

5: If you try to play your CvK or Total Pacifist out in place of Berserk, you lose XP.

6: All characters have Hunted: By The Man, 14-, Kill, NCI... but when they kill and maim agents of The Man in a Berserk Frenzy, heroic characters are given astoundingly light prison sentences.

7: This is, of course, an incredible injustice that only proves The Man is evil. But not for the reasons one might expect.

 

(Maybe I *shouldn't* mix reading the Hero Boards with reading plot summaries of Billy Jack movies....)

[CrosshairCollie]

Re: Signs your Champions GM is now (fill in the blank)

 

Signs your Champions GM is now watching too much anime:

1. You cannot perform Presence Attacks until you buy several levels of Growth, Head Only (-2).

2. Male characters must take a 3d6 Susceptibility to seeing bras or panties, to represent a nosegush.

3. Female characters must take a Physical Limitation: Completely Helpless Near Tentacles.

[Grimble]

Re: Claremont is ee cummings

 

See attached image.

 

Bill.

(Surely I can't be the only person who remembers this?)

 

I got it, and you are not alone!

[teh bunneh]

Re: Claremont is ee cummings

 

I got it' date=' and you are not alone![/quote']

 

Thank you, Grimble! I'm glad I'm not the only one -- I was beginning to mistrust my memories! I didn't want to have to dig up my old X-Men from that era. 22 pages of that and my head would go all asplodey!

[Grimble]

Re: Claremont is ee cummings

 

Thank you' date=' Grimble! I'm glad I'm not the only one -- I was beginning to mistrust my memories! I didn't want to have to dig up my old X-Men from that era. 22 pages of that and my head would go all asplodey![/quote']

 

I do have a love/hate relationship with Claremont. He did have some great storylines during his stay with the X-men, but, yes he was really "dramatic" with his dialog and very "Soap Operaesque" in his plots.

 

 

Grimble

[Susano]

Re: Claremont is ee cummings

 

See attached image.

 

Bill.

(Surely I can't be the only person who remembers this?)

 

Good god... that's Claremont dialogue to a T!

[The Main Man]

Re: Signs your Champions GM is now (fill in the blank)

 

Signs that your Champions GM is Big Brother:

1) You get revised character sheets every week.

2) You only get 2 minutes of combat every session.

3) You are limited to only using words that are in the glossary.

[AliceTheOwl]

Re: Signs your Champions GM is now (fill in the blank)

 

Signs your Champions GM is a feminazi (or, how to tell if your female Champions GM has been through a bad breakup):

1. Female players given 100 more points to use on powers and skills than males.

2. Your (male) character sheet is combed over for HOURS, looking for signs of munchkining.

3. All females given free OCV bonuses to hit Vitals.

4. After several sessions, you don't even roll for your combat against female villains anymore; you know they'll win, probably kicking you in the nads in the process.

5. When you ask why females in her world are more powerful than males, she either smirks knowingly, or goes off on a tirade of how that's so "typical".

[teh bunneh]

Re: Claremont is ee cummings

 

Good god... that's Claremont dialogue to a T!

 

You can tell how badly it scarred me because it's been the better part of 15 years since I've read anything that he's written, and yet I still remember it as if it were yesterday.