Signs your Champions GM is now (fill in the blank)

[Susano]

Re: Signs your Champions GM is now (fill in the blank)

 

Signs Your Champions GM is now Robert E Howard:

 

1) All male PCs get +10 STR, +3 DEX, and +5 CON. Effective immediately.

 

2) All female PCs get +5 STR, +5 DEX,+3 CON, and +10 COM. Effective immediately.

 

3) Everyone gets the Fearless Talent.

 

4) Although at times your actions seem morally suspect, that's okay. You should see what the villains are up to....

 

5) The actions of most any non-Caucasuian NPC are suspect.

[Boll Weevil]

Re: Signs your Champions GM is now (fill in the blank)

 

...12) Your GM is Joss Wheedon when a major and popular PC is killed just to prove that the danger is real.

Repped for beating me to #12. So true.

[OddHat]

Re: Signs your Champions GM is now (fill in the blank)

 

Signs your GM is Edgar Rice Borroughs:

 

1) As many NPCs as possible within the setting spend most of their time nude. On an alien world, that will be pretty much everybody.

 

2) Female NPCs spend most of their time being kidnapped. These are truly epic kidnappings, lasting the length of several game sessions, with the NPC only showing up long enough to remind the PCs of why they want to rescue her. Often, this reminder will relate to the aforementioned "everybody is naked" factor.

 

3) Noble followers of ignoble leaders are the rule, rather than the exception. Try not to kill too many named lieutenants, as you'll have the opportunity to purchase them as contacts or followers at the end of the adventure.

 

4) In early adventures, the challenges you face will require you to think things through. In later adventures, thinking won't be necessary, and might even derail the game.

 

5) The GM hands out all sorts of cool powers that last one game session and are then forgotten. Keep track of these; those powers will never allow you to escape a serious threat, but if you remind the GM he may let you use a forgotten power for a single scene, even if you last used it a half dozen game sessions ago and haven't mentioned it since.

 

6) If you're thinking of playing a female character, get used to watching TV while the rest of the gang tries to rescue her.

[CrosshairCollie]

Re: Signs your Champions GM is now (fill in the blank)

 

Signs your Champions GM is now John Byrne.

 

1. He tells you not to bother with a backstory, he'll make something up.

2. He tells you that your female DNPC should be a Hunted instead.

3. Any old character will be made young at some point.

4. He advises you not to play a robot.

[Balabanto]

Re: Signs your Champions GM is now (fill in the blank)

 

Signs your Champions GM is now Josef Stalin

 

10) There are no dice! He decides what happens!

 

9) If you don't like what happens to your character, you get sent to the Gulag.

 

8) If you're Jewish, god forbid, he kills you.

 

7) If you love animals, he forces you to watch while he strangles kittens.

 

6) NPCs exist as his glorious tools to extend the revolution.

 

5) Nothing is solved with a velvet glove, only the iron fisted hand works.

 

4) Your PCs exist to serve him. Any failure on your part gets you sent to the Gulag.

 

3) Those other GMs, Roosevelt and Churchill? Those are games for weaklings.

 

2) You're lucky to see a single supervillain. All of his enemies hurl waves of thugs at you until they're exhausted.

 

1) If you defect to another game, he tries to get you to come back. If you don't, he has you assassinated.

[Lord Mhoram]

Re: Signs your Champions GM is now (fill in the blank)

 

Signs your Champions GM is now John Byrne.

 

1. He tells you not to bother with a backstory, he'll make something up.

2. He tells you that your female DNPC should be a Hunted instead.

3. Any old character will be made young at some point.

4. He advises you not to play a robot.

 

5) New martial manuever - -2 OCV -2 DCV Grab one limb, Choke hold. - Byrne Grip.

6) Any female hero that gets mind controlled to evil will get +10 Com and wear leather.

[Enforcer84]

Re: Signs your Champions GM is now (fill in the blank)

 

5) New martial manuever - -2 OCV -2 DCV Grab one limb, Choke hold. - Byrne Grip.

6) Any female hero that gets mind controlled to evil will get +10 Com and wear leather.

Well the leather adds +2 COm so....

[Pariah]

Re: Signs your Champions GM is now (fill in the blank)

 

Signs your Champions GM is now Carl Sagan:

 

1) Vangelis is playing in the background at all gaming sessions.

 

2) Your first adventure has you going back to the Library at Alexandria to stop the murder of Hypatia.

 

3) Newbies who complain about building a character because "the math is too hard" are laughed right out of the room.

 

4) The Villain Of The Week's voice is so calm and soothing that it almost makes you forget that he's trying to kill you.

 

5) A lot of your adventures involve trying to stop nuclear proliferation and/or saving the ozone layer.

 

6) Your team vehicle is powered strictly by its passengers' imaginations.

 

7) Billions and billions of plot complications.

[Lord Mhoram]

Re: Signs your Champions GM is now (fill in the blank)

 

Signs your Champions GM is now Carl Sagan:

 

Ok, we know who is watching Cosmos again.

[Susano]

Re: Signs your Champions GM is now (fill in the blank)

 

Signs your Champions GM is now Carl Sagan:

 

1) Vangelis is playing in the background at all gaming sessions.

 

You make this sound like a bad thing.

[MilkmanDan]

Re: Signs your Champions GM is now (fill in the blank)

 

Signs that your Champions GM is now Benny Hill:

 

1. No killing attacks are permitted.

2. All characters must take Seduction at 16- and a minimum of 6 dice Unluck, only relating to Seduction attempts.

3. Custom Hit Location charts are used, with Vitals representing locations 6-15.

4. "Psychological Limitation: Mute" required.

5. GM constantly plays annoying, tinny, fast-paced music in the background.

6. All characters are required to take at least 6" of extra running, with the limitations Only When Chased By Angry Bobbies, Enraged Elderly People, Or Women Wearing Nothing But Lingerie.

7. That limitation is only worth -1/4.

[input.jack]

Re: Signs your Champions GM is now (fill in the blank)

 

Signs that your Champions GM is now Benny Hill:

 

1. No killing attacks are permitted.

2. All characters must take Seduction at 16- and a minimum of 6 dice Unluck, only relating to Seduction attempts.

3. Custom Hit Location charts are used, with Vitals representing locations 6-15.

4. "Psychological Limitation: Mute" required.

5. GM constantly plays annoying, tinny, fast-paced music in the background.

6. All characters are required to take at least 6" of extra running, with the limitations Only When Chased By Angry Bobbies, Enraged Elderly People, Or Women Wearing Nothing But Lingerie.

7. That limitation is only worth -1/4.

 

8. All womens' outer clothing is bought as a single OAF "outfit" that is easy to remove.

9. Womens underclothing is bought as an OIF and cannot be so easily swiped.

10. No one takes any damage from falling, but they do have to take the half phase to stand up.

11. All NPC's have the Professional Skills of Singing and Dancing at 11- or higher.

12. PC's are not required to do so.

13. All young women have a COM score of 16+

14. Women with a COM score of less than 16 look suspiciously like men in dresses.

15. You play the same four adventure plotlines over and over and over again.

16. You have a great time doing so!

[Balabanto]

Re: Signs your Champions GM is now (fill in the blank)

 

Signs your Champions GM is now Doctor Brutallo (See Digital Hero #15)

 

10) All plotlines are completely over the top.

 

9) Annoying incidental music from Armageddon Mind plays every time Doctor Brutallo says the words "Rule the World!"

 

8) Kanga the Dominator keeps trying to backseat GM, or mind control your fellow players.

 

7) He leaves YOU in a deathtrap when you can't beat the adventure.

 

6) Radiation poisoning from Atomicus, the Radioactive Man makes everyone have bald hairstyles

 

5) Brutalloids exist only to smash, thus there is a new gaming table every week.

 

4) Seismotron testing continues during game, thus knocking over miniatures.

 

3) All supplements are renamed to "The Universe of Doctor Brutallo," "The Ultimate Doctor Brutallo," and "Enemies of Doctor Brutallo!"

 

2) Doctor Brutallo likes to switch chairs, thus leaving his hair on your clothes.

 

1) While the seismotron vibrates, the Titanoid expands, knocking over the gaming table, Doctor Brutallo, and your friends.

[Pariah]

Re: Signs your Champions GM is now (fill in the blank)

 

You make this { 1) Vangelis is playing in the background at all gaming sessions.} sound like a bad thing.

 

Not at all. I've got a bunch of his CDs myself.

 

In fact, I think I'll recommend Vangelis to our host for tomorrow's gaming session.

[Susano]

Re: Signs your Champions GM is now (fill in the blank)

 

Not at all. I've got a bunch of his CDs myself.

 

In fact, I think I'll recommend Vangelis to our host for tomorrow's gaming session.

 

Blade Runner the Esper Edition is an awsome double CD set.

[Pariah]

Re: Signs your Champions GM is now (fill in the blank)

 

I can't believe nobody's done this one yet:

 

Signs your Champions GM is now Douglas Adams:

 

1) Everyone's required to buy Universal Translator, 1 Continuous Charge lasting 1 Century (+2), IIF: Babel Fish (-1/4), Independent (-2), Extra Phase to activate (-3/4), Gestures to activate ('Here, stick this fish in your ear....', -1/4) Active Cost: 60 points, Real Cost: 14 points.

 

2) Your team transport takes you reliably to where you need to go, but there's a good chance you'll all be couches when you get there.

 

3) Tea is not allowed at the gaming table, because the last guy who asked for a cup of tea crashed the game for several hours and just about got everyone killed.

 

4) Your team leader has as many appendages as Grond.

 

5) All characters are required to take at least three dice of both Luck and Unluck.

5a) All human characters have to take at least six dice of both. Fortunately, there are only two of them to worry about.

 

6) Watched: The Mice (11-) is a mandatory 15 point Disad.

 

7) Attempting to read poetry at the gaming table will get you expelled and/or beaten.

 

8) The plot lines make no sense, but everyone's having too much fun to notice.

 

9) Everyone in the known universe--PCs, NPCs, aliens, and superintelligent shades of the color blue--all speak with a British accent.

 

10) The GM offers everyone Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters at the end of a really difficult fight.

[mattingly]

Re: Signs your Champions GM is now (fill in the blank)

 

Signs that your Champions GM is now Benny Hill

[MilkmanDan]

Re: Signs your Champions GM is now (fill in the blank)

 

I can't believe nobody's done this one yet:

 

Signs your Champions GM is now Douglas Adams:

 

1) Everyone's required to buy Universal Translator, 1 Continuous Charge lasting 1 Century (+2), IIF: Babel Fish (-1/4), Independent (-2), Extra Phase to activate (-3/4), Gestures to activate ('Here, stick this fish in your ear....', -1/4) Active Cost: 60 points, Real Cost: 14 points.

 

2) Your team transport takes you reliably to where you need to go, but there's a good chance you'll all be couches when you get there.

 

3) Tea is not allowed at the gaming table, because the last guy who asked for a cup of tea crashed the game for several hours and just about got everyone killed.

 

4) Your team leader has as many appendages as Grond.

 

5) All characters are required to take at least three dice of both Luck and Unluck.

5a) All human characters have to take at least six dice of both. Fortunately, there are only two of them to worry about.

 

6) Watched: The Mice (11-) is a mandatory 15 point Disad.

 

7) Attempting to read poetry at the gaming table will get you expelled and/or beaten.

 

8) The plot lines make no sense, but everyone's having too much fun to notice.

 

9) Everyone in the known universe--PCs, NPCs, aliens, and superintelligent shades of the color blue--all speak with a British accent.

 

10) The GM offers everyone Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters at the end of a really difficult fight.

 

Brilliant! Rep to thee!

[FenrisUlf]

Re: Signs your Champions GM is now (fill in the blank)

 

Anyone want to take a stab at Stan Lee or Rob Liefeld?

 

EDIT: Oops, Hermit already covered Liefeld. My mistake.

[FenrisUlf]

Re: Signs your Champions GM is now (fill in the blank)

 

Signs your Champions GM is a feminazi (or, how to tell if your female Champions GM has been through a bad breakup):

1. Female players given 100 more points to use on powers and skills than males.

2. Your (male) character sheet is combed over for HOURS, looking for signs of munchkining.

3. All females given free OCV bonuses to hit Vitals.

4. After several sessions, you don't even roll for your combat against female villains anymore; you know they'll win, probably kicking you in the nads in the process.

5. When you ask why females in her world are more powerful than males, she either smirks knowingly, or goes off on a tirade of how that's so "typical".

 

I dread asking -- has this ever actually happened?

[AliceTheOwl]

Re: Signs your Champions GM is now (fill in the blank)

 

I dread asking -- has this ever actually happened?

Heh. Luckily, no. The feminazis in the group never wanted to run. ^ v ^

[Enforcer84]

Re: Signs your Champions GM is now (fill in the blank)

 

Signs that your Champions GM is now Benny Hill:

 

1. No killing attacks are permitted.

2. All characters must take Seduction at 16- and a minimum of 6 dice Unluck, only relating to Seduction attempts.

3. Custom Hit Location charts are used, with Vitals representing locations 6-15.

4. "Psychological Limitation: Mute" required.

5. GM constantly plays annoying, tinny, fast-paced music in the background.

6. All characters are required to take at least 6" of extra running, with the limitations Only When Chased By Angry Bobbies, Enraged Elderly People, Or Women Wearing Nothing But Lingerie.

7. That limitation is only worth -1/4.

I think I love you!

[Lord Mhoram]

Re: Signs your Champions GM is now (fill in the blank)

 

 

In fact, I think I'll recommend Vangelis to our host for tomorrow's gaming session.

 

I'll have him queued up and ready to play.

[Trebuchet]

Re: Signs your Champions GM is now (fill in the blank)

 

Signs your Champions GM is now Jared Diamond:

 

1) The effectiveness of your team depends entirely on the local geography and the domestication potential of the available fauna and flora for their ancestors. Middle latitudes and east-west orientation of the continent is a plus.

 

2) It doesn't matter, since Western civilization is doomed to perish anyway from overconsumption.

[Susano]

Re: Signs your Champions GM is now (fill in the blank)

 

Signs Your GM is Now George Lucas

 

1) The first campaign is epic and so cool people will be talking about it 20 years from now.

 

2) The second campaign is hard. You have to claw and scrape for every victory and even then it looks pretty bad when it draws to a close.

 

3) In the third campaign the PCs are upstaged by a bunch of Muppets.

 

4) There are rumors of a fourth, fifth, and even sixth campaigns, but what little you hear about them make them sound like a totally different setting altogether.