Michael Hopcroft Posted July 25, 2007 Report Share Posted July 25, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions A: No' date=' heat seeking anti-personnel missiles will not stop termites.[/quote'] Q: Sarge, I'm ready to save the Redwood Forest! Is it go? A: There are few technical problems that cannot be solved with a swift kick to the temporal oscillation system. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted July 25, 2007 Report Share Posted July 25, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions A: There are few technical problems that cannot be solved with a swift kick to the temporal oscillation system. Q: Why is there all of these dents in the TARDIS' control unit? A: My oh my, that is it - the oberitoralion symatinator was indead the problem. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted July 25, 2007 Report Share Posted July 25, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions A: My oh my' date=' that is it - the oberitoralion symatinator was indead the problem.[/quote'] Q: Inept, insignificant scientist, Professor Muerte demands to know why his newest weapon of world conquest isn't working yet! A: I guess there are worse ways to go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted July 25, 2007 Report Share Posted July 25, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions A: I guess there are worse ways to go. Q: The victim was locked in his Orgasmatron, and then the murderer nailed down the timer so it wouldn't turn off, after cross-wiring the stimulation module from the 12 V wall-wart supply to the 440 VAC building main feed. Ever hear of that one before? A: That's what happens when you forget to pay your gravity bill. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted July 25, 2007 Report Share Posted July 25, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions A: That's what happens when you forget to pay your gravity bill. Q: Say, Minnie, why is Pluto orbiting Uranus? A: So that everybody will think this paradise world we've found is actually an Inferno and avoid it like the plague. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klytus Posted July 26, 2007 Author Report Share Posted July 26, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions A: So that everybody will think this paradise world we've found is actually an Inferno and avoid it like the plague. Q: Why are you dropping beacons all over this planet to give starships false sensor readings? A: It wasn't that bad - only much worse. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rebeccared50 Posted July 26, 2007 Report Share Posted July 26, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions A: It wasn't that bad - only much worse. Q: So would you compare your trip to Purgatory to a night with MightyBec? A: Blonde and curly, I promise! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klytus Posted July 26, 2007 Author Report Share Posted July 26, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions A: Blonde and curly' date=' I promise![/quote'] Q: Does the carpet match the drapes? A: Blaq Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted July 26, 2007 Report Share Posted July 26, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions A: Blaq Q: And what color tuxedo will Mr. O'Neal be wearing to the Grammys? A: Yes, Officer, I'll pay my parking tickets. Right away, sir. And here are my car keys so it doesn't happen again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klytus Posted July 26, 2007 Author Report Share Posted July 26, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions A: Yes' date=' Officer, I'll pay my parking tickets. Right away, sir. And here are my car keys so it doesn't happen again.[/quote'] Q: What will you *never* hear Mel Gibson or Lindsy Lohan say? A: Perfectly unreasonable behavior. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted July 26, 2007 Report Share Posted July 26, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions A: Perfectly unreasonable behavior. Q: How do you describe screaming "MOVIE!" in a crowded firehouse? A: I don't think that ducking and covering is really going to help. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted July 26, 2007 Report Share Posted July 26, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions A: I don't think that ducking and covering is really going to help. Q: This strange chap came into the pub, ordered six pints of bitters for him and his mate, and told the barkeep the world was going to end in a few minutes. Suppose we oughter duck and cover or something? A: It's the strangest thing I've seen today, that's for sure. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted July 26, 2007 Report Share Posted July 26, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions A: It's the strangest thing I've seen today' date=' that's for sure.[/quote'] Q: You've seen my Moss-Covered Three-Handled family Credenza, haven't you? A: There's no way you're going to fit that into the trunk. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
death tribble Posted July 26, 2007 Report Share Posted July 26, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions Q: You've seen my Moss-Covered Three-Handled family Credenza, haven't you? A: There's no way you're going to fit that into the trunk. Q: The Elephant is trying to eat the World's biggest peanut ! How do we stop him ? A: No it isn't ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted July 26, 2007 Report Share Posted July 26, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions A: No it isn't ! Q: Sir, before I let you onto the flight to Milwaukee -- is this your thermonuclear device? A: Nobody wants to admit they need a lobotomy until it becomes obvious. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted July 26, 2007 Report Share Posted July 26, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions A: Nobody wants to admit they need a lobotomy until it becomes obvious. Q: Would you please put that chainsaw down? I'm not a tree, and there are no logs for miles. A: That isn't what that tool was made for!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted July 26, 2007 Report Share Posted July 26, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions A: That isn't what that tool was made for!! Q: Is this Painting 101? I've brought my chain saw... A: The destruction could be seen from orbit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DocMan Posted July 26, 2007 Report Share Posted July 26, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions A: The destruction could be seen from orbit. Q: So how was the party last weekend? A: For Ghod's sake, use some lube! Doc Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klytus Posted July 26, 2007 Author Report Share Posted July 26, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions A: For Ghod's sake' date=' use some lube![/quote'] Q: What did Johnathan Ghod say to his fellow inmates? A: Almost, but not quite. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted July 26, 2007 Report Share Posted July 26, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions A: For Ghod's sake' date=' use some lube![/quote'] Q: You're going put what where? A: You know, I sort of expected Barry Bonds to be swallowed up by the earth during his trot like that for some reason. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted July 26, 2007 Report Share Posted July 26, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions A: Almost' date=' but not quite.[/quote'] Q: Are you totally, completely, 100% sure that Barry Bonds is using banned supplements? A: You know' date=' I sort of expected Barry Bonds to be swallowed up by the earth during his trot like that for some reason.[/quote'] Q: Hey, did I just feel an earthquake as Barry hit #756? A: Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, Smurfette, and an auditorium full of Elvis imitators. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted July 26, 2007 Report Share Posted July 26, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions A: Lindsay Lohan' date=' Paris Hilton, Smurfette, and an auditorium full of Elvis imitators.[/quote'] Q: One of these things not like the others, one of things is sorta fun. Can you tell me which thing is not like the others by the time I finish this song? A: Actually, no, because you've stopped singing now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted July 26, 2007 Report Share Posted July 26, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions Q: One of these things not like the others' date=' one of things is sorta fun.[/quote'] Just as an aside, Mr. Hopcroft, I'm a little worried about you.... A: Actually, no, because you've stopped singing now.Q: Wow, singing the national anthem was swell! Do I get a glove now? A: It's not the sort of thing you normally see on a cricket pitch, that's for sure. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted July 26, 2007 Report Share Posted July 26, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions A: It's not the sort of thing you normally see on a cricket pitch' date=' that's for sure.[/quote'] Q: Where did those killer robots and that Chesterfield sofa, not to mention the guy in the tattered bathrobe with a rabbit bone in his beard, come from? A: Twenty-Four. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted July 26, 2007 Report Share Posted July 26, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions A: Twenty-Four. Q: Arthur, are you feeling dyslexic? A: Sorta like that, but with brooms. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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