Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

[bigdamnhero]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Another shining example of No Plan Survives Contact With The Players:

 

VIPER has a big raid planned and needs to lure NYC's resident hero team (the PCs) out of town. So they create an elaborate ruse to convince Our Heroes to go snipe hunting in Chicago.

 

Fortunately, through several good skill rolls -- Forensics, Streetwise, Inventor, KS: Poor Urban City Neighborhoods, and PS: Tattoo Artist, to name a few -- Our Heroes find all the clues indicating that something is fishy. The corpse clearly isn't who it's supposed to be, there's no evidence of magic, hints of VIPER involvement, yadda yadda. The whole thing is obviously a set up.

 

Unfortunately, the heroes conclude that it's a trap rather than a diversion, and they go traipsing off to Chicago anyway. Which means they get to listen on the radio as VIPER storms Rikers Island and rescues several supervillains and Agents being held there. (Stronghold is offline - long story.) By the time they get back, VIPER is long gone, and the heroes can only help with the cleanup. No combat tonight.

 

GM: "I can't believe you guys fell for that!" [sad little voice] "I had maps and everything!"

[Guest Major Tom]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Yes' date=' but meanwhile Ginny (my character) has Psych Lim: Driven To Make A Name For Herself (C,S) burning a hole in her character sheet. What's the point of having all these adventures if you never get to publish them?! [/quote']

 

Look at it this way: if by some chance (or the diabolical machinations of the

GM) Ginny and the rest of the PC group fall afoul of relativistic time dilation,

she can always have a grumble session with Karl Kolchak about the drawbacks

to covering stories that they'll never be able to publish.

 

 

Major Tom

[bigdamnhero]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Look at it this way: if by some chance (or the diabolical machinations of the

GM) Ginny and the rest of the PC group fall afoul of relativistic time dilation,

she can always have a grumble session with Karl Kolchak about the drawbacks

to covering stories that they'll never be able to publish.

 

 

Major Tom

[Remjin]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

After a bit of conversation in our group's email about research and who, exactly, should be doing what during this phase, we come to this story after Wendigo's answer to research is: "I da brick! ;-) "

 

As written by Bloodstone, who really deserves rep for this:

 

Wendigo: I want to help with the research. I walk over to the shelf and pull out the largest, mustiest tome I can find.

 

GM: Alright, you pull down a copy of Auric's Arcanabula of Abjuration

 

Wendigo: I sit down in a chair, put on me reading glasses and scream "Alright book, tell me what I want to know!"

 

GM: uhh... the book says nothing?

 

Wendigo: "Oh, you want to play tough huh?" I take off my bifocals and wander over to the desk. Is there a phone?

 

GM: Yes, an old fashioned rotary phone. The dial is too small for your monstrous white fingers though.

 

Wendigo: No matter. Is there a local phone book?

 

GM: Yes, did you need to make a call? You all have radio headsets that double as cell phones and have wireless internet. Any Number you need is just a Goolge search away.

 

Wendigo: No, a take the book and go back to the chair. I put on my glasses and begin to page through it. All the while, I whisper words of encouragement, telling the phonebook how helpful it is. After a few minutes I close the cover, pat it on the spine and tell it how much I have enjoyed our time together.

 

GM: um... ok...

 

Wendigo: Then I rip it in half with Casual STR.

 

GM: !?!

 

Wendigo: I snatch up the Arcanabula, "NOW ARE YOU READY TO TALK?!!?!"

 

GM: ...make a Presence attack with a +4d6 bonus.

 

Wendgio: :rolls 8d6:: I rolled a 32

 

GM: :: rolls 1d6:: Mandrake pees hemself, just a little bit. And the book says nothing.

 

Wendigo: I hurl the book across the room and storm out in frustration.

 

GM: :: rolls 1d6:: It embeds itself in the wall next to the Padre's head.

 

Padre: What's the hell was that all about?!!?!?

 

Robin: That? Oh, that's nothing. I just let him watch Beauty and the Beast last night before bed. He's probably upstairs crying his eyes out to the dishes 'n flatware...

 

[Susano]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

After a bit of conversation in our group's email about research and who, exactly, should be doing what during this phase, we come to this story after Wendigo's answer to research is: "I da brick! ;-) "

 

As written by Bloodstone, who really deserves rep for this:

 

Wendigo: I want to help with the research. I walk over to the shelf and pull out the largest, mustiest tome I can find.

 

GM: Alright, you pull down a copy of Auric's Arcanabula of Abjuration

 

Wendigo: I sit down in a chair, put on me reading glasses and scream "Alright book, tell me what I want to know!"

 

GM: uhh... the book says nothing?

 

Wendigo: "Oh, you want to play tough huh?" I take off my bifocals and wander over to the desk. Is there a phone?

 

GM: Yes, an old fashioned rotary phone. The dial is too small for your monstrous white fingers though.

 

Wendigo: No matter. Is there a local phone book?

 

GM: Yes, did you need to make a call? You all have radio headsets that double as cell phones and have wireless internet. Any Number you need is just a Goolge search away.

 

Wendigo: No, a take the book and go back to the chair. I put on my glasses and begin to page through it. All the while, I whisper words of encouragement, telling the phonebook how helpful it is. After a few minutes I close the cover, pat it on the spine and tell it how much I have enjoyed our time together.

 

GM: um... ok...

 

Wendigo: Then I rip it in half with Casual STR.

 

GM: !?!

 

Wendigo: I snatch up the Arcanabula, "NOW ARE YOU READY TO TALK?!!?!"

 

GM: ...make a Presence attack with a +4d6 bonus.

 

Wendgio: :rolls 8d6:: I rolled a 32

 

GM: :: rolls 1d6:: Mandrake pees hemself, just a little bit. And the book says nothing.

 

Wendigo: I hurl the book across the room and storm out in frustration.

 

GM: :: rolls 1d6:: It embeds itself in the wall next to the Padre's head.

 

Padre: What's the hell was that all about?!!?!?

 

Robin: That? Oh, that's nothing. I just let him watch Beauty and the Beast last night before bed. He's probably upstairs crying his eyes out to the dishes 'n flatware...

 

 

[Guest Major Tom]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

After a bit of conversation in our group's email about research and who, exactly, should be doing what during this phase, we come to this story after Wendigo's answer to research is: "I da brick! ;-) "

 

As written by Bloodstone, who really deserves rep for this:

 

Wendigo: I want to help with the research. I walk over to the shelf and pull out the largest, mustiest tome I can find.

 

GM: Alright, you pull down a copy of Auric's Arcanabula of Abjuration

 

Wendigo: I sit down in a chair, put on me reading glasses and scream "Alright book, tell me what I want to know!"

 

GM: uhh... the book says nothing?

 

Wendigo: "Oh, you want to play tough huh?" I take off my bifocals and wander over to the desk. Is there a phone?

 

GM: Yes, an old fashioned rotary phone. The dial is too small for your monstrous white fingers though.

 

Wendigo: No matter. Is there a local phone book?

 

GM: Yes, did you need to make a call? You all have radio headsets that double as cell phones and have wireless internet. Any Number you need is just a Goolge search away.

 

Wendigo: No, a take the book and go back to the chair. I put on my glasses and begin to page through it. All the while, I whisper words of encouragement, telling the phonebook how helpful it is. After a few minutes I close the cover, pat it on the spine and tell it how much I have enjoyed our time together.

 

GM: um... ok...

 

Wendigo: Then I rip it in half with Casual STR.

 

GM: !?!

 

Wendigo: I snatch up the Arcanabula, "NOW ARE YOU READY TO TALK?!!?!"

 

GM: ...make a Presence attack with a +4d6 bonus.

 

Wendgio: :rolls 8d6:: I rolled a 32

 

GM: :: rolls 1d6:: Mandrake pees hemself, just a little bit. And the book says nothing.

 

Wendigo: I hurl the book across the room and storm out in frustration.

 

GM: :: rolls 1d6:: It embeds itself in the wall next to the Padre's head.

 

Padre: What's the hell was that all about?!!?!?

 

Robin: That? Oh, that's nothing. I just let him watch Beauty and the Beast last night before bed. He's probably upstairs crying his eyes out to the dishes 'n flatware...

 

 

 

Oooo...someone's a few nachos shy of a Fiesta Platter, aren't they?

 

 

 

Major Tom

[Bloodstone]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

 

 

mmm... nachos...

[ghost-angel]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

More from BigDamnHero's thwarted Defender's game.

 

Promethean: We've been limping from crisis to crisis.

Built-To-Last: More like lurching.

Enigma: I Strut.

 

--

 

Inertia (RE: Promethean): He's got to have a High INT Too. He thinks he's a doctor.

 

--

 

Promethean and Built-To-Last discussing how to get a self refilling wetbar.

Enigma: Nobody's touching my wetbar with random nanite stills.

 

--

 

Built-To-Last: I'm not slacking. I'm homeless.

 

--

 

Chandler Van Horn is the head of Bureau Of Metahuman Affairs. After the VIPER attack on Riker's, and Dr. Destroyer showing up and capturing the VIPER submarine and all the escaped supervillains. . . the topic of a leak in PRIMUS and/or the Government comes up.

 

Enigma: Van Horn is Dr. Destroyer!

Inertia's Player slowly lowers her head to the gaming table then proceeds to pull her sweatshirt over her head and turtles.

Built-To-Last: Next chance I get I'm scanning to see if Van Horn is an android!!

 

(the problem is that everyone actually Listens to Enigma. Who has almost always been right in her assumptions. Until this last games fiasco I believe Inertia was getting close to believing anything Enigma said, no matter what it was.)

[Maelstrom]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Two words:

 

"Jedi Karaoke"

 

*sigh*

[Bloodstone]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

GM (ooc): :: yawns ::

 

Torch Song (ooc): Are we boring you?

 

GM (occ): eh, a little...

 

* * * * *

 

Torch Song: I put my tongue on it.

 

GM: It tastes like wood

 

* * * * *

Father Longfellow (ooc): Did you say butt cake?

 

GM (ooc): BUNT! BUNT! I'm stubbed ub ok!

 

* * * * *

 

Father Martin: Hey, I'll take whatever I can get.

 

Wendigo: Well, that's testicle ripping then....

[Kirby]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

GM (ooc): :: yawns ::

 

Torch Song (ooc): Are we boring you?

 

GM (occ): eh, a little...

I hate to just add a smiley and leave or a simple one-worded response, but I do find that funny, especially if everyone involved is a good friend and can laugh at it.

[Weldun]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

From a Robotech game a LONG time ago (i.e. before I started using my Mekton Zeta conversions). The setting was the SDF-1 as it made it's way back to earth, the party was a squadron of Valkyrie/Veritech pilots who would have probably never been allowed to fly if the ship hadn't been fighting for it's survival on a almost daily basis.

 

Starfox: The brass is become more and more convinced that we're completely insane.

Rabid: I'm not crazy. I was tested.

Hellion: Yes, and you probably cheated on that test.

Rabid: No proof. <_<

[Pariah]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

From last night's adventure, where our heroes have taken the fight against invading aliens to the invaders' homeworld:

 

GravNeato: "It's only when you're digging through an alien database that you really come to appreciate Google."

[Remjin]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

I hate to just add a smiley and leave or a simple one-worded response, but I do find that funny, especially if everyone involved is a good friend and can laugh at it.

 

It was funny, we're all good with it. There was a lot of mishearing of things that night due to the GMs stuffy head and our tendency to hear the absurd.

 

There were many butt jokes that night, along with a spontaneous idiotic yelling of "Bunt Cake! Bunt Cake!" like a moron repeatedly for about 5 minutes.

[bigdamnhero]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

A handful from my Champions game at GenghisCon. I don't remember who said most of them, tho.

 

 

Our Heroes encounter a DEMON Morbane known as Abominus, who happens to have his shirt off:

“He’s showing off his rock-hard abs. No wait, that Abdominus.”

 

 

Re: demonic possession:

“It’s like Touched By An Angel. Only…creepy.”

“Touched By An Angel isn’t creepy?”

 

 

The Heroes plan to attack one of the Kings of Edom:

“So we find a King, open a portal, then he kills us?”

“No, we find a King, open a portal, then the other four Kings show up, then they all kill us. You missed a step.”

 

 

Pebbles grapples the villainess:

Pebbles: “I grab her by her hair.”

Several players at once: “Chick Fight!”

Illuminatus: (the mystic) “I use my VPP to summon Jell-O & oil.”

 

 

After our heroes have won:

Magnetica: (to Illuminatus) “Say something impressive & mystical.”

Illuminatus: (pause) “I win.”

[bigdamnhero]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

The last of the GenghisCon quotes. A few from a D&D game:

 

 

Rogue: “Has anyone ever introduced you to the concept of a bath?”

Barbarian: “…I swim sometimes.”

Passerby: “Just to check, that was In Character, right?”

 

 

The heroes talk to a peasant, who’s farm was recently hit by raiders:

PC #1: “What did they take?”

NPC: “They stole my hoe!”

(pause for sniggering)

PC #1: “Well, maybe we can get you another hoe.”

PC #2: “We’ll talk to the mayor.”

Peasant: “Oh yes, the mayor has a bunch of hoes!”

 

 

Player: (looking over character sheet) “I’m a Bishop, but I don’t have a single rank in Knowledge: Religion?”

GM: “Yes, but you know where all the bodies are buried.”

Player: “Ah, I'm that kind of bishop. Got it.”

 

 

And finally, one from a Star Wars game, which is so bad I shudder to pass it on...

 

The PCs have encountered a Gungan training camp. As they walk past, the Gungan firearms instructor holds up a rifle and shouts:

Gungan: “Thees meesa Booma-steek!”

Sadly, neither the NPC nor the GM were lynched as a result.

 

[misterdeath]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

OK' date=' I'm going to assume that Dryad is one of those "Nature is Good, Technology is Evil" type of villains. [/quote']

 

You assume correctly.

 

If that is indeed the case, wouldn't it have been easier for the PCs to try to convince her that setting off a nuke would do far more damage

to the environment in the long run than high technology?

 

Just wondering.

 

Major Tom

 

Yes, well, if they'd tried that, I'd have let them make the rolls. But by this time, the PCs had thwarted her plans often enough that she was more willing to wipe the blight of the city off the map and take the damage to the environment. A cross between an Enraged at being Thwarted by Dumb Monkey People, and "Sometimes you have to take out healthy cells to remove a cancer."

 

The PCs in turn, were also looking for some payback, since Dryad's been a thorn in their side for most of the campaign. Hiring people to steal stuff, sending hit teams after people, blowing up her minions to keep them from talking. Y'know, supervillian stuff.

 

So, they weren't likely to talk, either.

 

Now, the funny thing is, that Shadowknight took DNPC: Girlfriend of the Week. I provided a list of various women, so he could pick one. Of course, for that week, his girlfriend was ... Dryad.

 

'Course, he don't know that yet.

 

Heh.

 

D

[Guest Major Tom]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

About the Star Wars quote: surely there was at least one attempt to perform

a lightsaber rotisserie?

 

 

Major Tom

[Guest Major Tom]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

You assume correctly.

 

 

 

Yes, well, if they'd tried that, I'd have let them make the rolls. But by this time, the PCs had thwarted her plans often enough that she was more willing to wipe the blight of the city off the map and take the damage to the environment. A cross between an Enraged at being Thwarted by Dumb Monkey People, and "Sometimes you have to take out healthy cells to remove a cancer."

 

The PCs in turn, were also looking for some payback, since Dryad's been a thorn in their side for most of the campaign. Hiring people to steal stuff, sending hit teams after people, blowing up her minions to keep them from talking. Y'know, supervillian stuff.

 

So, they weren't likely to talk, either.

 

Now, the funny thing is, that Shadowknight took DNPC: Girlfriend of the Week. I provided a list of various women, so he could pick one. Of course, for that week, his girlfriend was ... Dryad.

 

'Course, he don't know that yet.

 

Heh.

 

D

 

 

I guess flowers and chocolates are out of the question in that case, then.

 

 

 

Major Tom

[Baron]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

After character comes back into room while the other characters were given exclusive information.

 

The current villain flies forward holding a huge sword with fire blazing behind him and one shot kills his character, after the character drew his attention.. "Wait a second, that was my old character wasn't it."

[EvilEmpryss]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

From a sci-fi game where our characters were a group of military and civilians trying to survive on a colony planet. There were - no kidding - Aliens and Predators infesting the planet, and we had already lost most of our technology and ammo when we stumbled into a Predator hunting lodge. We quickly realized we couldn't all make it out alive.

 

Fortunately, this was the last night of gaming for one of our group (he was joining the National Guard). He had already decided he wanted his tough-as-nails sergeant to go down in a blaze of glory, so he volunteered to cover our retreat. With much pride and some quick emotional goodbyes, our characters dumped all their spare ammo on him and ran.

 

The Sarge stood his ground valiantly, but it wasn’t long before the Predators overwhelmed him. As our characters turned back to get a last look, the lead Predator picked the Sarge by his bandoleers. Before the GM could say a word, the Player shouts out:

 

“Sarge is goin’ down like a Marine… no gutting, no snapping his neck. SPINE ME! SPINE ME YOU PU**Y!!!”

 

He showed us the way a true hero dies!

[Guest Major Tom]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

From a sci-fi game where our characters were a group of military and civilians trying to survive on a colony planet. There were - no kidding - Aliens and Predators infesting the planet, and we had already lost most of our technology and ammo when we stumbled into a Predator hunting lodge. We quickly realized we couldn't all make it out alive.

 

Fortunately, this was the last night of gaming for one of our group (he was joining the National Guard). He had already decided he wanted his tough-as-nails sergeant to go down in a blaze of glory, so he volunteered to cover our retreat. With much pride and some quick emotional goodbyes, our characters dumped all their spare ammo on him and ran.

 

The Sarge stood his ground valiantly, but it wasn’t long before the Predators overwhelmed him. As our characters turned back to get a last look, the lead Predator picked the Sarge by his bandoleers. Before the GM could say a word, the Player shouts out:

 

“Sarge is goin’ down like a Marine… no gutting, no snapping his neck. SPINE ME! SPINE ME YOU PU**Y!!!”

 

He showed us the way a true hero dies!

 

 

One of the lines from the tail end of Spaceballs comes to mind right now:

 

"Oh, s***...there goes the planet."

 

 

Major Tom

[Susano]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Session Two of Shadows Angelus: Ten Years After

 

Mitch opens the door to find Nicodemus lying on the floor using Simulate Death: "I was joking about the radiation, Nic."

 

Deidre (OOC) reacts to a burst of bad puns: "Poop jokes, please!"

 

It is agreed that Deidre's XSWAT-issue maser has the following three settings:

 

- Normal

- Creature

- Deep Fat Fry

 

Deidre's retort to Lieutenant Mitch Brogan over excessive force issues: "Next time i won't resurrect your father."

 

Mitch (OOC): There's a male in the kitchen, roll 3d6 Unluck."

 

Deidre to Elizabeth: "You have old people issues."

 

Mitch (OOC) when asked how fast he was responding to an emergency: "One a scale of one to ten, 7 inches of Running."

 

Lorraine (OOC): "He's a first Lieutenant, of course he has an 8- INT Roll."

 

Chrysine's OOC prediction, written down before the fight started: "We burn the house down."

It came true.

 

Mitch (OOC): "I step back." *moves his figure a hex, pauses, then moves it again* "I step back some more."

 

Mitch: "I follow regulations."

Deidre: "Which is why you're going to end up dead."

 

Deidre (OOC): Good thing I failed my EGO Roll and didn't attack the darkness."

 

Chrysine to Blood Serenade, a pair of ex-Lace & Steel fighters: "I am Chrysine, the Winter Fox. I fought in the arena for five years, and I will not be killed by the likes of you."

 

Diedre (OOC): "Anti-contortionist?"

Chrysine (OOC): "It's like an anti-paladin, but with limbo."

 

Chrysine: "Sir? Are we evacuating the building?"

Mitch: "We destroyed the building!"

 

Nicodemus on the burning orphanage: "This was not as planned."

 

Nicodemus to Mitch: "My madness is not debatable, I'm questioning yours."

 

Mitch on the firefight with the Yakuza: "None of my people were attacked by an Entity tonight."

 

Nicodemus: "Power unto a god."

Elizabeth: "I've had dates like that."

 

Mitch, "Nico, there are times when work with you is unpleasant and times it's extremely unpleasant."

 

Chrysine (OOC): Watching Mitch meltdown is truly educational."

[Netzilla]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Last night's Champion's campaign. The group has finally learned who kidnapped Iron Maiden's mentor: DEMON. This is the first time DEMON's been introduced into the campaign. Also, IM's mentor is an Atlantean and thus a sorcerer of considerable power.

 

*****

 

Kali (OOC): The only one in that house allowed to lick my thighs is Deric.

 

GM (OOC): All my comments are inappropriate.

 

*****

 

Solar: Sorry, with all the extra noise, I'm having a hard time understanding you. I can't focus on what you're saying.

 

Freon: Would it help if I wore a funny hat?

 

*****

 

GM (as a Nordic high-priestess who's been coaching Iron Maiden in channeling her rage): I don't think that therapy's going to help you. You're not... normal.

 

*****

 

Solar: Just because they call themselves DEMON, doesn't necessarily mean that they use demons.

 

Iron Maiden: Hell-O!

 

*****

 

Psyker: I don't have any acting skills. But my therapist has said many times that I act like a cultist.

 

*****

 

Nazi zombie sharks... with lasers on their heads.

 

Because 'nazi' automatically makes them more evil.

[Kirby]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

From my online Champions game. The PCs are fighting DEMON MiBs (Mooks in Black) and Initiates. The six Initiates just fire and do put some hurt on the players (but there are 10 heroes here)

 

The Hood: "You'll have to do better than that, my transvestite friends! Not that there's anything wrong with that - but that is so not your colour..."

 

Field Test: (Was flying in the air, dazed by Spell of Torment, falls to the floor 10 hexes below) "I'm okay. My spine broke my fall...."