Logan D. Hurricanes Posted May 31, 2022 Report Share Posted May 31, 2022 If anyone could do it, it wouldn't be called PROcrastination. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted May 31, 2022 Report Share Posted May 31, 2022 Teacher: Can somebody give me an example of something useless? Me: *raises hand* Teacher: Very good, anything else? Pariah and mattingly 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted June 1, 2022 Report Share Posted June 1, 2022 WHY are elevator jokes so good? They work on many levels. WHY did the broom decide to go to bed? It was very sweepy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted June 3, 2022 Report Share Posted June 3, 2022 WHAT do you call an alligator with a map? A navigator. WHAT has one horn and gives milk? A milk truck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted June 3, 2022 Report Share Posted June 3, 2022 What concert costs 45 cents? 50 Cent featuring Nickelback. How do you communicate with a fish? You drop them a line. Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted June 3, 2022 Report Share Posted June 3, 2022 Teacher: Name something beginning with 'E' that you're not particularly good at. Student: Spelling! Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted June 3, 2022 Report Share Posted June 3, 2022 Him: "Wanna go out with me tonight?" Her: "No, I have bubonic plague tonight." Him: "Aw, rats." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted June 3, 2022 Report Share Posted June 3, 2022 Seen in a recent public opinion survey: Is inflation adversely affecting your family? No: 43% Yes: 127% Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted June 3, 2022 Report Share Posted June 3, 2022 WHY did the soccer player bring string to the game? So he could tie the score. WHAT do you call a dentist in the army? A drill sergeant. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted June 4, 2022 Report Share Posted June 4, 2022 Her: "Dad, I need you to come help me. I'm at Target, and I have a flat tire." Him: "Did you call your husband?" Her: "Yeah, he can't make it." Him: "Okay, do you have a spare?" Her: "Yeah, but he can't make it either. That's why I'm calling you." mattingly and Ockham's Spoon 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted June 5, 2022 Report Share Posted June 5, 2022 mattingly and slikmar 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted June 5, 2022 Report Share Posted June 5, 2022 mattingly and wcw43921 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted June 5, 2022 Report Share Posted June 5, 2022 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ockham's Spoon Posted June 5, 2022 Report Share Posted June 5, 2022 "The real reason we can't have the 10 Commandments in a courthouse: you cannot post "thou shalt not steal", "thou shalt not commit adultery", and "thou shalt not lie", in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment." - George Carlin slikmar, Pariah and mattingly 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted June 5, 2022 Report Share Posted June 5, 2022 MY wife said she’d leave me if I kept making Star Wars jokes. I said “May divorce be with you.” WhAT do you call a dinosaur that is psychic? A tarot-dactyl. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted June 7, 2022 Report Share Posted June 7, 2022 HOW do you schedule a space party? You planet. WHY can’t you trust atoms? Because they make up everything. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted June 7, 2022 Report Share Posted June 7, 2022 How do you get a baby to sleep on a spaceship? Spoiler You rocket. wcw43921 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ockham's Spoon Posted June 8, 2022 Report Share Posted June 8, 2022 My son told me his ear hurt this morning. I asked if it hurt on the inside or the outside, so he walks out the front door, comes back in, and says "Both." Days like these I wonder if I am saving too much for college. Pariah and Logan D. Hurricanes 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted June 8, 2022 Report Share Posted June 8, 2022 Maybe aim a bit more realistic— community college. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted June 8, 2022 Report Share Posted June 8, 2022 I get all my weapons from a guy whose street name is T-Rex. He deals exclusively in small arms. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted June 8, 2022 Report Share Posted June 8, 2022 Is this the joke book of face blocked. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted June 8, 2022 Report Share Posted June 8, 2022 No, it was this one: Why don't men get mad cow disease? Spoiler Because men are pigs. mattingly 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted June 8, 2022 Report Share Posted June 8, 2022 Well some, sure, but all? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted June 8, 2022 Report Share Posted June 8, 2022 We'll we'll we'll, my old nemesis autocorrect, we meat again. Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted June 8, 2022 Report Share Posted June 8, 2022 Her: "I'm exhausted. I was up until 4 AM with the baby." Him: "It's probably not good to keep the baby up that late." Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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