Bazza Posted May 10, 2022 Report Share Posted May 10, 2022 Why do melons have weddings? Because they cantaloupe! I JUST got a job at the prison library. It has prose and cons. Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted May 10, 2022 Report Share Posted May 10, 2022 Just spoke with Bill Withers. I told him "Ain't No Sunshine" is poor grammar. He said " I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know" slikmar, Pariah and Tjack 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted May 10, 2022 Report Share Posted May 10, 2022 HOW do trees access the internet? They log on. WHERE do you take someone injured in a peak-a-boo accident? To the I.C.U. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattingly Posted May 11, 2022 Report Share Posted May 11, 2022 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted May 11, 2022 Report Share Posted May 11, 2022 It’s only called “pop” music in the Midwest. In most of the U.S., it is considered correct to refer to it as soda music, or perhaps coke music if you’re in the South. Pariah, slikmar, BoloOfEarth and 1 other 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
L. Marcus Posted May 11, 2022 Report Share Posted May 11, 2022 What if you're strait edge? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted May 11, 2022 Report Share Posted May 11, 2022 How do you talk to a giant? You use big words. WHy was the broom late to class? It over-swept. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattingly Posted May 12, 2022 Report Share Posted May 12, 2022 Ockham's Spoon, Hermit and Logan D. Hurricanes 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted May 12, 2022 Report Share Posted May 12, 2022 They warned me not to lean over the edge of that tower in Paris. Eiffel. Ockham's Spoon 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted May 13, 2022 Report Share Posted May 13, 2022 A guy tried to sell me a coffin. I told him that’s the last thing I need. Ockham's Spoon 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted May 13, 2022 Report Share Posted May 13, 2022 WHY are fish so smart? They live in schools. HOW do you fix a broken pumpkin? With a pumpkin patch. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tjack Posted May 13, 2022 Report Share Posted May 13, 2022 41 minutes ago, Logan.1179 said: A guy tried to sell me a coffin. I told him that’s the last thing I need. Why bother buying a coffin? If you need it, you won’t care if you don’t have one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted May 13, 2022 Report Share Posted May 13, 2022 On the other hand, I have never heard of renting one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted May 13, 2022 Report Share Posted May 13, 2022 A door-to-door coffin sales rep is a dead-end job. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted May 13, 2022 Report Share Posted May 13, 2022 Go to “vampire country” and offer rental plans…make a killing… Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattingly Posted May 13, 2022 Report Share Posted May 13, 2022 Stake your claim. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
death tribble Posted May 13, 2022 Report Share Posted May 13, 2022 I went looking for vampiric oysters. I staked my clam Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slikmar Posted May 13, 2022 Report Share Posted May 13, 2022 14 hours ago, Bazza said: WHY are fish so smart? They live in schools. This is false, as none of them ever graduate, so obviously they are all being held back grades. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted May 13, 2022 Report Share Posted May 13, 2022 I’d tell you my paper joke, but it’s tearable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted May 14, 2022 Report Share Posted May 14, 2022 WHERE do you learn about ice-cream? Sundae school. WHAT a sea monster’s favourite meal? Fish and ships. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ockham's Spoon Posted May 14, 2022 Report Share Posted May 14, 2022 I have heard to maintain brain function that you should develop new skills, like learning to play a musical instrument. So I was surprised when my doctor recommended that I give up playing the trombone. I wonder if it has anything to do with the fact that she lives in the apartment below me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slikmar Posted May 14, 2022 Report Share Posted May 14, 2022 Switch to Bagpipes, I am sure she will appreciate the Trombone then. Ockham's Spoon 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ockham's Spoon Posted May 14, 2022 Report Share Posted May 14, 2022 On a dare, I ate a pile of Scrabble tiles. I feel okay right now, but I fear going to the bathroom tomorrow could spell disaster. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattingly Posted May 15, 2022 Report Share Posted May 15, 2022 You're going to have a huge vowel movement. Ockham's Spoon 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted May 15, 2022 Report Share Posted May 15, 2022 And I'll bet you still won't be able to spell "diarrhea" correctly, even straight from the source. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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