Pariah Posted June 14, 2022 Report Share Posted June 14, 2022 "Daddy, are we firestarters?" "Yes, we arson." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted June 15, 2022 Report Share Posted June 15, 2022 slikmar 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted June 15, 2022 Report Share Posted June 15, 2022 Why did the math teacher get divorced? He'd substituted his wife for an x. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted June 15, 2022 Report Share Posted June 15, 2022 On 6/12/2022 at 10:11 AM, Pariah said: I spent last night at a mathematician's bachelor party. We went to a Möbius strip club. ive been thinking about this and conclude that Dante said it would be located in hell. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted June 15, 2022 Report Share Posted June 15, 2022 WHAT does a policeman use to arrest allergies? Hand-coughs. WHAT has six wheels and flies? A garbage truck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattingly Posted June 15, 2022 Report Share Posted June 15, 2022 21 hours ago, Bazza said: I JUST received my first job offer in the condiment industry. I relish the opportunity. You'll ketchup in no time. 15 hours ago, Logan.1179 said: A farmer stopped by the local mechanic shop to have his truck fixed. They couldn't do it while he waited, so he said he didn't live far and would just walk home. I thought this was heading toward the old punchline... Spoiler "Would you hold my cock and pullet?" 7 hours ago, Bazza said: ive been thinking about this and conclude that Dante said it would be located in hell. No, in hell, you'd see the Morbius Strip Club... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted June 15, 2022 Report Share Posted June 15, 2022 People said I’d never get over my obsession with Phil Collins. But take a look at me now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted June 16, 2022 Report Share Posted June 16, 2022 Elementary, really. tkdguy 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted June 16, 2022 Report Share Posted June 16, 2022 Subduction: The act of replacing one duck with another. tkdguy 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattingly Posted June 16, 2022 Report Share Posted June 16, 2022 Reduction: repeatedly doing a fowl deed Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
L. Marcus Posted June 16, 2022 Report Share Posted June 16, 2022 Abduction: giving fowl a six-pack. Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted June 16, 2022 Report Share Posted June 16, 2022 Seduction: Illegal in most North American jurisdictions Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dmjalund Posted June 16, 2022 Report Share Posted June 16, 2022 1 hour ago, Cancer said: Seduction: Illegal in most North American jurisdictions see also Induction Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted June 17, 2022 Report Share Posted June 17, 2022 What did the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two... mattingly 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted June 17, 2022 Report Share Posted June 17, 2022 If a man divorces his wife in West Virginia, are they still cousins? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted June 17, 2022 Report Share Posted June 17, 2022 No, but they are in Tasmania Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
L. Marcus Posted June 17, 2022 Report Share Posted June 17, 2022 How can you tell if the scene floor is level? The drummer is drooling from both corners of his mouth. Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted June 17, 2022 Report Share Posted June 17, 2022 In rural North America, that joke involves the banjo player. L. Marcus 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
L. Marcus Posted June 17, 2022 Report Share Posted June 17, 2022 Yeah, like Steve Martin ever stood on a stage ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted June 17, 2022 Report Share Posted June 17, 2022 My wife said I should start doing lunges to get healthier. That would be a big step forward. How would you describe a mosh pit of cows? Udder chaos. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted June 17, 2022 Report Share Posted June 17, 2022 WHAT should you do if you’re addicted to seaweed? Maybe sea kelp. WHAT is a lemur’s favourite makeup? Madagascara. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted June 17, 2022 Report Share Posted June 17, 2022 Boss: How good are you at PowerPoint? Me: I Excel at it Boss: Was that a Microsoft Office pun? Me: Word Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted June 17, 2022 Report Share Posted June 17, 2022 Boss - Do you think you can come in on Saturday? I know you enjoy your weekends, but I need you here. Me - Yeah, no problem. I'll probably be late though as public transport on weekends is slow. Boss - What time will you get here? Me - Monday. mattingly 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted June 17, 2022 Report Share Posted June 17, 2022 Guess who I bumped into on my way to get my glasses fixed? Everybody. Ockham's Spoon 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted June 17, 2022 Report Share Posted June 17, 2022 I've never really believed in the Easter Bunny. I guess that makes me egg-nostic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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