Bazza Posted May 16, 2022 Report Share Posted May 16, 2022 Speaking of Scrabble Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted May 16, 2022 Report Share Posted May 16, 2022 IT’S hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs. They take things literally. My grandfather had the heart of a lion. Also a lifetime ban from the zoo. Ockham's Spoon and Tjack 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tjack Posted May 16, 2022 Report Share Posted May 16, 2022 3 hours ago, Bazza said: IT’S hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs. They take things literally. My grandfather had the heart of a lion. Also a lifetime ban from the zoo. Somebody once said of Robert Bloch (the writer of Psycho) “He has the heart of a small boy.....he keeps it a jar in his desk.” Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted May 16, 2022 Report Share Posted May 16, 2022 Don't use double negatives. They're a big no no. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted May 16, 2022 Report Share Posted May 16, 2022 A professor once explained that although two negatives might make a positive, two positives could never make a negative. I said, "Yeah, right." Logan D. Hurricanes 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted May 16, 2022 Report Share Posted May 16, 2022 WHAT do you do if life gives you melons? Test yourself for dyslexia. WHERE does a general keep his armies? In his sleevies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ockham's Spoon Posted May 17, 2022 Report Share Posted May 17, 2022 Life hack: By replacing your morning coffee with herbal tea, you can lose up to 82% of what little joy you have left in life. Tjack and slikmar 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
death tribble Posted May 17, 2022 Report Share Posted May 17, 2022 I want ceramic staff. So I can tell them they are fired Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ockham's Spoon Posted May 17, 2022 Report Share Posted May 17, 2022 Working in a bank is a thankless job. While I was working as a teller, some lady asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over, and for doing what she asked, I got fired. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted May 18, 2022 Report Share Posted May 18, 2022 CAN a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house doesn’t jump. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted May 18, 2022 Report Share Posted May 18, 2022 What do you call it when a dinosaur runs over, around, and through obstacles? Quote Jurassic parkour. mattingly 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted May 19, 2022 Report Share Posted May 19, 2022 Did you know that most bees are actually allergic to pollen? When exposed to pollen, they develop hives. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted May 19, 2022 Report Share Posted May 19, 2022 Why did the cross-eyed teacher lose her job? Because she couldn’t control her pupils. WhaT do prisoners use to call each other? Cell phones. mattingly 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted May 20, 2022 Report Share Posted May 20, 2022 What did our parents do to kill boredom before the internet? I asked my 10 brothers and sisters, but they don’t know either. Ockham's Spoon, Pariah and Tjack 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ockham's Spoon Posted May 20, 2022 Report Share Posted May 20, 2022 Safety Tip: Condoms don't guarantee safe sex. A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman's husband. Logan D. Hurricanes and Pariah 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted May 21, 2022 Report Share Posted May 21, 2022 HOW do you shoot a killer bee? With a bee-bee gun. WHEN do you stop at green and go at red? When you’re eating a watermelon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christougher Posted May 21, 2022 Report Share Posted May 21, 2022 6 hours ago, Bazza said: HOW do you shoot a killer bee? With a bee-bee gun. WHEN do you stop at green and go at red? When you’re eating a watermelon. Your daily Laffy Taffy? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted May 21, 2022 Report Share Posted May 21, 2022 Huh? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted May 21, 2022 Report Share Posted May 21, 2022 Laffy Taffy is a candy sold here in the US that has a joke printed inside the wrapper. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted May 21, 2022 Report Share Posted May 21, 2022 What do you call someone who tells dad jokes but isn't a dad? A faux pa. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted May 21, 2022 Report Share Posted May 21, 2022 4 hours ago, Pariah said: Laffy Taffy is a candy sold here in the US that has a joke printed inside the wrapper. Okay. Answer is no. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattingly Posted May 21, 2022 Report Share Posted May 21, 2022 3 hours ago, Logan.1179 said: What do you call someone who tells dad jokes but isn't a dad? A faux pa. When does a joke become a dad joke? When it's apparent. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted May 22, 2022 Report Share Posted May 22, 2022 "Orion's Belt is a big waist of space." Terrible joke. Only three stars. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted May 22, 2022 Report Share Posted May 22, 2022 Did you hear about the big Lego sale? People were lined up for blocks. Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted May 22, 2022 Report Share Posted May 22, 2022 I thought they were lined up around the block? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.