Marcus Impudite Posted May 5, 2006 Report Share Posted May 5, 2006 In the spirit of the previous threads in the series, yadda, yadda... If you ever need to parley with the do gooders for any reason, always arrange the meeting at a time and place where there will be plenty of innocent bystanders to get caught in the crossfire should they decide they're not content just to talk things over. As an added bonus, you get to enjoy watching the team leader sweat bullets as he and the others try to keep the team hothead from making a mess of things. There really is NO HONOR AMONG THIEVES. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alexraccoon Posted May 5, 2006 Report Share Posted May 5, 2006 Re: The Things I Learned Playing A Villain... Always have a plan of escape, first thing check all possible escape routes. Never overstay your welcome. The best plan is quiet and draws little attention. Never harm the innocent, who needs avengers hunting you down. Rob other villians they can't go to the cops. Best power for a villian is teleport for a good clean getaway especially with a trigger if you get ko'd Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nucleon Posted May 5, 2006 Report Share Posted May 5, 2006 Re: The Things I Learned Playing A Villain... Excellent thread already; Allow Nucleon to pontificate. Have a middle- to long-term goal otherwise you're a mercenary, a tool. Take the initiative; Put your master plan into work: Kidnapp scientists, steal technologies, highjack orbital launches, the works. Do not lose your time being hired by individuals with delusions of grandeur that might interfere with yours, or by being hunted down by heroes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ghost Archer Posted May 5, 2006 Report Share Posted May 5, 2006 Re: The Things I Learned Playing A Villain... The most important thing I have learned playing a villain is how truly vile and evil I can be. This bothers me. If I can be that evil, the rest of the human race scares the heck out of me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alexraccoon Posted May 5, 2006 Report Share Posted May 5, 2006 Re: The Things I Learned Playing A Villain... Don't wait for the other fella to turn round , hit him first and hard and with anything to hand. Van Leek: Damn, boy! You shot him in the back. Billy Ray Smith: Well, his back was to me! Van Leek: [laughing] Oh, yeah. I forgot. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0099493/ El Diablo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted May 5, 2006 Report Share Posted May 5, 2006 Re: The Things I Learned Playing A Villain... Conquering the planet simply isn't worth it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jkwleisemann Posted May 5, 2006 Report Share Posted May 5, 2006 Re: The Things I Learned Playing A Villain... Whatever you do, don't kill a hero. Sure, if you do it, it strikes fear into the hearts of the public and creates massive sales for the comic. But it never works out for you in the end. You create enemies who will now try to kill you too, CvK be damned, inspire the allies of the fallen hero to take you down no matter the cost, and worst of all, create a martyr. Unless you manage to kill the guy (or girl) by making him drown in whipped cream or something else completely humiliating, you never come out ahead. As such, it doesn't matter how much of a badass you think you are. Unless your only purpose is killing, don't kill the heroes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Undertow Posted May 5, 2006 Report Share Posted May 5, 2006 Re: The Things I Learned Playing A Villain... Think like a hero, Imagine how they would react to the crime your planning then set up hidden IR cameras in all the broom closets, bathrooms, and phonebooths in the area. Leverage on a secret ID is worth it's weight in gold. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GoldenAge Posted May 5, 2006 Report Share Posted May 5, 2006 Re: The Things I Learned Playing A Villain... Never get caught monologueing! Just shoot the dang hero and get it over with. You can tell someone how great your plan was AFTER it works!!! (God, I love the Incredibles!!!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Black Omega Posted May 5, 2006 Report Share Posted May 5, 2006 Re: The Things I Learned Playing A Villain... Be an honorable, stylish, romantic thief type super villain. Superheroines that type. Make sure to send roses to superheroines who almost catch you. It might not help much, but at least they don't see you as a vile evil that must be stopped at all costs. Every little edge helps. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jomster Posted May 5, 2006 Report Share Posted May 5, 2006 Re: The Things I Learned Playing A Villain... Just as heroes like coming up against their nemesis villains every so often, so you (as a villain) will learn to relish facing off against your nemesis heroes. The lesson from this then is, don't kill your "enemy heroes" in your carefully constructed death trap... give them some way to escape so you can face them again in the future and of course defeat them, mwa-ha-ha-haaaa! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted May 5, 2006 Report Share Posted May 5, 2006 Re: The Things I Learned Playing A Villain... I want Kevin Spacey to play me in the movie. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marketeer Posted May 5, 2006 Report Share Posted May 5, 2006 Re: The Things I Learned Playing A Villain... When the villain(ness)-with-a-heart-of-gold starts having a romance with the hero(ine) drawn to the wrong person, there is a 50/50 chance for either to switch sides. Unless the PCs are heroes, in which case your chance of converting is probably closer to 90%. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cold Steel Posted May 6, 2006 Report Share Posted May 6, 2006 Re: The Things I Learned Playing A Villain... Avoid fighting any team with Mentalists. Kill them off secretly before making your first dramatic appearence. Or get a good lawyer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheRavenIs Posted May 6, 2006 Report Share Posted May 6, 2006 Re: The Things I Learned Playing A Villain... Always when planning, take into consideration that you are one villian, and you are going up against more than one person. This means individual Heroes, and Teams. So KISS, 'Keep it Simple Stupid', that way you always know most of the ways that your plan can go wrong. Remember you do not, so plan how to mess your plan up, then plan a way to keep it online. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freakboy6117 Posted May 6, 2006 Report Share Posted May 6, 2006 Re: The Things I Learned Playing A Villain... never forget rule one PILLAGE THEN BURN Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucius Posted May 6, 2006 Report Share Posted May 6, 2006 The Things I Learned Playing A Villain... Secrets shared is power lost. Never reveal the things you have learned in an online forum such as "The Things I Learned Playing A Villain." Lucius Alexander "Pss" says the palindromedary. "Over here. What's the information worth to you?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marcus Impudite Posted May 6, 2006 Author Report Share Posted May 6, 2006 Re: The Things I Learned Playing A Villain... Secrets shared is power lost. Never reveal the things you have learned in an online forum such as "The Things I Learned Playing A Villain." Lucius Alexander "Pss" says the palindromedary. "Over here. What's the information worth to you?" Which is why the "advice" in my opening post was just stuff anyone with half a lick of sense would already know anyway. All the valuable information I really learned from playing a villain will be published in my New York Times bestselling self-help book. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike W Posted May 6, 2006 Report Share Posted May 6, 2006 Re: The Things I Learned Playing A Villain... Don't bluff. If the hero doesn't believe you'll nuke Detroit to get your way, he'll just laugh at your threats and stomp a mudhole in you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gojira Posted May 6, 2006 Report Share Posted May 6, 2006 Re: The Things I Learned Playing A Villain... Never get caught monologueing! Just shoot the dang hero and get it over with. You can tell someone how great your plan was AFTER it works!!! (God, I love the Incredibles!!!) I have NO idea what you are talking about. (See the sig.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David Johnston Posted May 6, 2006 Report Share Posted May 6, 2006 Re: The Things I Learned Playing A Villain... Steal From the Rich. Give to the Poor. Remember Your Slice Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DEFCON Clown Posted May 6, 2006 Report Share Posted May 6, 2006 Re: The Things I Learned Playing A Villain... If at first you don't succeed, frame a weaker villian for it while you plan out your next move. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Manic Typist Posted May 6, 2006 Report Share Posted May 6, 2006 Re: The Things I Learned Playing A Villain... Run for President. But, make sure you break no laws while doing so. Then, once you have won, watch the heroes become criminals as they try to take you down. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Basil Posted May 6, 2006 Report Share Posted May 6, 2006 Re: The Things I Learned Playing A Villain... Do the unexpected, but not if it's stupid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roter Baron Posted May 7, 2006 Report Share Posted May 7, 2006 Re: The Things I Learned Playing A Villain... Talkshow-host: And now our Unexpected Guest for today's show - DER ROTE BARON! (applause - Enter: Der Rote Baron in all his glory: Red spit-shiny powerarmor, closed visor, crumbled map of the world in hand) Talk-Man: Please take a seat. Nice to have you here. Baron: I AM NOT NICE! NEVER! TM: Okay, good. So let's get to things right away: Please, dear Baron ... B: THAT'S ROTER BARON FOR YOU! Talking Head: ... sure! Roter Baron! Please tell us, what things didi you learn since you took the Road of Super-Villainy? Der Rote Terror: AH, YES! VILLAINY! WHAT SWEETER WORD IS THERE IN THIS WORLD! ACTUALLY IT STARTED PRETTY EARLY IN THE STREETS OF MUNICH. I WAS JUST YOUR REGULAR HIGH-SCHOOL BRAT FLYING ARAOUND IN HIS FATHER'S TRIPLANE STEALING APPLES AND LAYING FIRE TO CANDYSTORES THAT WOULDN'T PAY FOR PROTECTION WHEN I WAS SHOT DOWN FROM THE SKIES BY A TOYMAKER'S SON! BLOODY BLUE MAX! LATER I FOUND OUT THAT THIS GUY ALREADY HAD HIS OWN POWER-ARMOR! SO I ASKED MY FATHER FOR A RAISE IN MY ALLOWANCE TO KILL AND MAIM AND SO I FINALLY GOT THE MONEY TO BUY MY OWN. THEN I TOOK REVENGE ON THIS ZERSTOITEN GUY: WHIPPED HIM PRETTY GOOD. AS FAR AS I KNOW HE IS NOW HIDING ON SOME FLOATING ISLAND AND HAS PLANS FOR A 25TH ANNIVERSARY COMBACK OR SOMETHING. TalkTalk: Was that your fisrt super-slug-out in the streets of Munich. RotRot: OH YES. MY FIRST. THE LAST ONE WAS IN 2002 - TWO BATTLES ACTUALLY! THERE IS A SO-CALLED SCOTTISH SUPERHERO WHO IS ALSO FREQUENTING THIS BOARD, ALIMAN THE BEAR, WHO CHALLENGED ME TO COME TO MUNICH: HEY, GAUNTLET THROWN; GAUNTLET PICKED UP AND THEN I PUMMELED HIM WITH HIS OWN GAUNTLET! MUHAHAHA! FOR THE OCTOBER-FEST HE CHALLENGED ME AGAIN. ANF THIS TIME HE BROUGHT HIS BEAUTIFUL SIDEKICK, THE IRISH GALE, WITH HIM. HA! I EXPECTED THAT. SO I INVITED THE MÃœCHNER KINDL OVER, A LOCALLY ACTIVE, BUT VERY CAPABLE VILLAINESS. WHAT A FIGHT! WITHOUT THE GALE, ALI WOULD STILL BE IN HOSPITAL. LET MY SAY IT STRAIGHT: HE ISN'T MUCH OF A CHALLENGE FOR A VILLAIN. Beer was good though... Host: So what are the good things about being a villain? Guest: WELL, WHERE SHALL I START? THE CHICKS, THE CARNAGE, THE CHALLENGE OF YOU AGAINST THE REST OF THE WORLD. THE SERVICE YOU GET At ALL THE PLACES - HEY! YOU DON'T SEE ME STANDING IN LINE AT YOUR LOCAL WENDY'S: IT'S ALWAYS: WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU? EXTRA CHESSE WITH THAT? OF COURSE IT'S ALWAYS SUPERSIZE FOR ME. AND MOST OF THE TIME I DON'T HAVE TO PAY EITHER! I THAT REGARD I AM LIKE A COP AT A DONUT SHOP - BUT THE WORLD IS MY DONUT SHOP! Nosy one: Are there also things that you don't like? Knowing one: HMMM, WELL - SUPER-PRISONS SUCK. BAD CABLE PROGRAM AND THEN YOU ARE HERDED TOGETHER WITH ALL THESE SUPER-LOOSERS! ALL THE POINTLESS RANTING ... HEY, WHAT! YOU'RE PULLING FACES ON ME?! Talking Meat: ME? NO! I was just fighting a ... hickup .. (sweating) Almost Butcher Man: THEN IT IS OKAY. SO - ALL THE RANTING: "MY BLASTED BLASTER STOPPED WORKING - IF ONLY CAPTAIN COURAGE HADN'T/ WOULDN'T/ NEXT TIME ..." MAKES YOU REALLY WANNA QUIT AND GET A CIVILIAN JOB. Still Talking: So can you sum up your experience in one ran ... err ... sentence as an advice for the people in front of the screen. The Red Shiny One: SURE CAN! FOLKS - YOU WANNA FLY A RED TRILANE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY THROUGH DOWNTOWN WITH GUNS BLAZING? YOU WANT ALL THE HOT, KINKY CHICK "GIVIN' YOU SOME"? YOU WANT TO RULE THE WORLD SOMEDAY OR MAKE ANOTHER MAD PLAN OF YOURS COME TRUE? THEN VILLAINY IS YOUR ROAD TO THE GOOD LIFE! If you have super-powers and want to don a costume once in a while, but you don't want to quit your day job as a part-time photographer, a journalist who never gets a raise or as a blind lawyer - THEN JOIN THE LOCAL SM-SWINGER CLUB! THERE YOU SURE ALSO GET A WHIPPING, BUT IT WON'T BE AS BAD A WHIPPING AS YOU GET BY PLAYING SUPER-DUPER AND TRYING TO GET INTO DER ROTE BARON'S WAY!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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