Cancer Posted April 1, 2010 Report Share Posted April 1, 2010 Re: Answers & Questions A: Set phasers to frappe! Q: Did you hear there'll be a Starbucks in the next star Trek movie? A: I thought that happened decades ago. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klytus Posted April 1, 2010 Author Report Share Posted April 1, 2010 Re: Answers & Questions A: I thought that happened decades ago. Q: Did you hear there'll be a Starbucks in the next Star Trek movie? A: How repetitive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted April 1, 2010 Report Share Posted April 1, 2010 Re: Answers & Questions A: How repetitive. Q: Are we there yet/ Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? A: All right, we're there! We're there! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted April 1, 2010 Report Share Posted April 1, 2010 Re: Answers & Questions A: All right' date=' we're there! We're there![/quote'] Q: What is this "hell in a handbasket" you keep saying we're coming to? All I see here is Capitol Hill! A: Death by Mexican soap opera, or death by C-SPAN. No, you may not choose to take the arsenic now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shadow Hawk Posted April 1, 2010 Report Share Posted April 1, 2010 Re: Answers & Questions Q: What is this "hell in a handbasket" you keep saying we're coming to? All I see here is Capitol Hill! A: Death by Mexican soap opera, or death by C-SPAN. No, you may not choose to take the arsenic now. Q: I hate the taste of arsenic. What have you got for death by television? A: Minty Fresh! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted April 1, 2010 Report Share Posted April 1, 2010 Re: Answers & Questions A: Minty Fresh! Q: What's the latest Coke flavoring to land with a hollow thud on the market? A: This is Nobel Prize juice! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted April 3, 2010 Report Share Posted April 3, 2010 Re: Answers & Questions A: This is Nobel Prize juice! Q: What is President Obama taking that is making him think that he is so special? A: Megalomaniacs Inc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted April 3, 2010 Report Share Posted April 3, 2010 Re: Answers & Questions A: Megalomaniacs Inc. Q: Where is a born minion like me going to find a job? A: But if you're talking about destruction, don't you know that you can count me out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klytus Posted April 4, 2010 Author Report Share Posted April 4, 2010 Re: Answers & Questions A: But if you're talking about destruction' date=' don't you know that you can count me out.[/quote'] Q: Cry woe, destruction, ruin, loss, decay; The worst is death, and death will have his day. Is that an OK plan? A: But swords I smile at, weapons laugh to scorn, Brandish'd by man that's of a woman born. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted April 4, 2010 Report Share Posted April 4, 2010 Re: Answers & Questions A: But swords I smile at' date=' weapons laugh to scorn, Brandish'd by man that's of a woman born.[/quote'] Q: And you won't fight the Amazons why? A: To boldly split infinitives that no man has split before! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted April 4, 2010 Report Share Posted April 4, 2010 Re: Answers & Questions A: To boldly split infinitives that no man has split before! Q: Translation, please. "Whodat not done da to-word, like, sep'rate from da axshun-word, ya know, like howz like nobody like haz done dat before, like, inna whole histry uv da lang-wudge, like what people do when dey make da mouf noises". WTF DOES THAT MEAN?!? A: Just conjugate the verb correctly and no one gets hurt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted April 4, 2010 Report Share Posted April 4, 2010 Re: Answers & Questions A: Just conjugate the verb correctly and no one gets hurt. Q: What's the motto of the English Department at Corleone U? A: And now let's hear from this block of wood, which has offered to tell us the secrets of all Mankind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DocMan Posted April 5, 2010 Report Share Posted April 5, 2010 Re: Answers & Questions I hate it when the page won't update until AFTER you post. I had: A: This is Nobel Prize juice! Q: My god man! Are you insane? Kidnapping Nobel Laureates and then crushing them to death in your infernal machine! And for what? FOR WHAT? But now it needs to be replaced... A: And now let's hear from this block of wood' date=' which has offered to tell us the secrets of all Mankind.[/quote'] Q: Did you see this headline about the guy who claims to have developed a technology that allows inanimate objects to talk? A: If you shoot me, I'll just come back younger, prettier, more energetic, and more annoying and make you pay for it. Doc Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted April 5, 2010 Report Share Posted April 5, 2010 Re: Answers & Questions A: If you shoot me' date=' I'll just come back younger, prettier, more energetic, and more annoying and make you pay for it.[/quote'] Q: Why are blonde media nymphets du jour just like the undead? A: The zombie I wanted is the drink. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted April 5, 2010 Report Share Posted April 5, 2010 Re: Answers & Questions A: The zombie I wanted is the drink. Q: Braaaains? Braaaains? A: I just wish they'd go after appendixes for once. We can do without those. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Narf the Mouse Posted April 5, 2010 Report Share Posted April 5, 2010 Re: Answers & Questions Q: Braaaains? Braaaains? A: I just wish they'd go after appendixes for once. We can do without those. Q: Ach! The aliens be stealin' our livers! A: Well, it's better than zombies, at least. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BoloOfEarth Posted April 6, 2010 Report Share Posted April 6, 2010 Re: Answers & Questions A: Well' date=' it's better than zombies, at least.[/quote'] Q: Did you hear about the lastest Marvel book, where everybody is a ninja? A: Wow, I didn't know *that* was in the Constitution! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted April 6, 2010 Report Share Posted April 6, 2010 Re: Answers & Questions A: Wow' date=' I didn't know *that* was in the Constitution![/quote'] Q: You have the right to sing the blues! You have the right to Cable TV! Didn't you know that? A: And this is what happens when we abuse out constitutional right to keep and arm bears. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tim Posted April 7, 2010 Report Share Posted April 7, 2010 Re: Answers & Questions A: And this is what happens when we abuse out constitutional right to keep and arm bears. Q: Yogi just robbed a Piggly Wiggly? A: Yogi Bear, Yogi Bera, Same guy right? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klytus Posted April 7, 2010 Author Report Share Posted April 7, 2010 Re: Answers & Questions A: Yogi Bear' date=' Yogi Bera, Same guy right?[/quote'] Q: Who said: "It ain't over till its over, Boo-Boo"? A: It took a lot out of me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted April 7, 2010 Report Share Posted April 7, 2010 Re: Answers & Questions A: It took a lot out of me. Q: The hospital didn't wait to take your organs until you died? A: And they give you cash, which is just as good as money! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted April 7, 2010 Report Share Posted April 7, 2010 Re: Answers & Questions A: And they give you cash' date=' which is just as good as money![/quote'] Q - But this is just a copy of "Live at Folsom Prison". Where's my paycheck? A - Outlaws, in-laws, same difference. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klytus Posted April 7, 2010 Author Report Share Posted April 7, 2010 Re: Answers & Questions A - Outlaws' date=' in-laws, same difference.[/quote'] Q: Is it true that your wife's family is on the lam? A: Oh, peanuts! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted April 7, 2010 Report Share Posted April 7, 2010 Re: Answers & Questions A: Oh' date=' peanuts![/quote'] Q: Your entire office staff is elephants? How do you pay them? A: Alpine Woolly Mammoth Cavalry. With pack howitzers and festering dung bombs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BoloOfEarth Posted April 7, 2010 Report Share Posted April 7, 2010 Re: Answers & Questions A: Alpine Woolly Mammoth Cavalry. With pack howitzers and festering dung bombs. Q: Okay, so you're conquering the sea with genetically-modified Great White sharks with frickin' lasers on their heads. What do you have for land forces? A: You've seen one post-apocalyptic mutated grizzly bear / wolverine hybrid with a bad attitude armed with twin 20mm miniguns, you've seen 'em all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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