Cancer Posted June 13, 2019 Report Share Posted June 13, 2019 54 minutes ago, Pariah said: A: A nine-pound hammer should do it. Q: How do you open a Brazil nut? Those are tough!! A: Brazil objects to this treatment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted June 13, 2019 Report Share Posted June 13, 2019 3 hours ago, Cancer said: A: Brazil objects to this treatment. Q: What do you mean we're down to eight men? A: I'm pretty sure having seventeen players at the line of scrimmage has to be a penalty, but it's not being called. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clnicholsusa Posted June 14, 2019 Report Share Posted June 14, 2019 3 hours ago, Michael Hopcroft said: A: I'm pretty sure having seventeen players at the line of scrimmage has to be a penalty, but it's not being called. Q: Did you see what happened the last time the Duggers played croquet? A: Those are some wicked wickets. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted June 14, 2019 Report Share Posted June 14, 2019 19 hours ago, clnicholsusa said: Q: Did you see what happened the last time the Duggers played croquet? A: Those are some wicked wickets. Q: What are you doing with all those nails? This is supposed to be a friendly game. A: When we said we were going to view the Sun, I did not realize that it was going to be this close. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted June 14, 2019 Report Share Posted June 14, 2019 1 hour ago, Asperion said: A: When we said we were going to view the Sun, I did not realize that it was going to be this close. Q: Here, follow the instructions of this Pink Floyd album, OK? A: All in all, you're just another brick in the wall. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clnicholsusa Posted June 15, 2019 Report Share Posted June 15, 2019 4 hours ago, Michael Hopcroft said: A: All in all, you're just another brick in the wall. Q: What did the warden say to Grond the last time they caught the poor guy? A: You've barely been gone long enough to be missed, but we did watch the Game of Throwns finale without you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted June 15, 2019 Report Share Posted June 15, 2019 52 minutes ago, clnicholsusa said: Q: What did the warden say to Grond the last time they caught the poor guy? A: You've barely been gone long enough to be missed, but we did watch the Game of Throwns finale without you. Q: Why did the Flash just zoom off like that? A: That was some spectacular light show. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted June 15, 2019 Report Share Posted June 15, 2019 12 hours ago, Asperion said: A: That was some spectacular light show. Q: So Betelgeuse finally went supernova? A: I did it 35,000 years ago. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted June 15, 2019 Report Share Posted June 15, 2019 3 hours ago, Pariah said: Q: So Betelgeuse finally went supernova? A: I did it 35,000 years ago. Q: Vandal Savage, when will you be able to say you've done everything? A: Relax, I'm one of the good guys! Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted June 17, 2019 Report Share Posted June 17, 2019 On 6/15/2019 at 2:03 PM, tkdguy said: A: Relax, I'm one of the good guys! Q: What do you never want to hear the Comedian say to you? A: I'm leaving for a less complicated galaxy. I hear Andromeda is nice this time of year... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted June 18, 2019 Report Share Posted June 18, 2019 12 hours ago, Michael Hopcroft said: Q: What do you never want to hear the Comedian say to you? A: I'm leaving for a less complicated galaxy. I hear Andromeda is nice this time of year... Q: Did I hear that you are building a TARDIS? A: The Doctor will be your wingman. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted June 22, 2019 Report Share Posted June 22, 2019 On 6/17/2019 at 7:38 PM, Asperion said: A: The Doctor will be your wingman. Q: Do you really think I can pick up a nice guy, Captain Jack? A: Yes, I have danced with the devil in the pale moonlight. Thanks for asking. Now DIE! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clnicholsusa Posted June 24, 2019 Report Share Posted June 24, 2019 On 6/21/2019 at 8:48 PM, Michael Hopcroft said: A: Yes, I have danced with the devil in the pale moonlight. Thanks for asking. Now DIE! Q: Have you ever been to the Debutante Ball? A: Don't ask me, I can't even remember yesterday's lunch. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted June 24, 2019 Report Share Posted June 24, 2019 2 minutes ago, clnicholsusa said: A: Don't ask me, I can't even remember yesterday's lunch. Q: I can;t find the recipe for Duck a l'Orange anywhere, Linguini. Do you know what it is? A: Life is your restaurant. Tip accordingly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted June 26, 2019 Report Share Posted June 26, 2019 On 6/23/2019 at 10:17 PM, Michael Hopcroft said: Q: I can;t find the recipe for Duck a l'Orange anywhere, Linguini. Do you know what it is? A: Life is your restaurant. Tip accordingly. Q: What are these things called "life points"? A: That came directly from the Home Despot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted June 27, 2019 Report Share Posted June 27, 2019 19 minutes ago, Asperion said: A: That came directly from the Home Despot. Q: You have to have the laundry done, bed made, floor scrubbed, dinner prepared and ready to serve, table set, 64-inch TV prepped for the network talent show du jour, and favored aperitif ready when she gets home at 6:35? A: NO CHAINSAWS!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted June 27, 2019 Report Share Posted June 27, 2019 15 minutes ago, Cancer said: A: NO CHAINSAWS!! Q: What's the first piece of advice given to a young adult adopting their first puppy? A: They can find anything under the sun -- mostly things you aren't really looking for. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted June 27, 2019 Report Share Posted June 27, 2019 2 hours ago, Michael Hopcroft said: A: They can find anything under the sun -- mostly things you aren't really looking for. Q: Describe Pariah's two kids. A: You give love a bad name. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clnicholsusa Posted July 3, 2019 Report Share Posted July 3, 2019 On 6/26/2019 at 9:36 PM, Pariah said: A: You give love a bad name. Q: Don't you want somebody to love? A: Love hurts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted July 3, 2019 Report Share Posted July 3, 2019 6 hours ago, clnicholsusa said: A: Love hurts. Q: Sadomasochism? Really? A: A dinosaur skull made of stainless steel and aircraft aluminium. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted July 3, 2019 Report Share Posted July 3, 2019 47 minutes ago, Pariah said: A: A dinosaur skull made of stainless steel and aircraft aluminium. Q: What lets you infer that this is a very high-metal-content world? A: That gave me gas. Tungsten vapor, to be specific. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted July 3, 2019 Report Share Posted July 3, 2019 Q: What did you eat this time, Matter-Eater Lad? A: If you need me any time in the next 36 hours, I'll be in the loo. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clnicholsusa Posted July 4, 2019 Report Share Posted July 4, 2019 18 hours ago, Pariah said: A: If you need me any time in the next 36 hours, I'll be in the loo. Q: How do you really feel about the President's Independence Day Parade? A: Because stupidity is such a big target it's always easier to hit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted July 5, 2019 Report Share Posted July 5, 2019 13 hours ago, clnicholsusa said: Q: How do you really feel about the President's Independence Day Parade? A: Because stupidity is such a big target it's always easier to hit. Q: Why have all the last several governments been so stupid in everything? A: Move along, there is nothing here to see. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted July 5, 2019 Report Share Posted July 5, 2019 1 hour ago, Asperion said: A: Move along, there is nothing here to see. Q: Hey, there's supposed to be an invisible nudie show here! Where's the entrance? A: Corn snakes don't eat corn, and bull snakes don't eat bulls. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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