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Quote of the Week From My Life.


Lucius

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Another conversation about scholastic things, this time with daughter, after she admits she really can't get into Pride and Predjudice.

 

Me: "I had long thought that was a male-vs-female thing, that all women liked Jane Austen and all men liked the Three Stooges, and each side thinks the other is utterly brain-dead for thinking that way."

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As a wise man once said (okay, he was a drinking buddy and insanely proud of his green blood):

 

"If a man were to tell me here were from Dublin, I'd tell my brother to take a seat and buy him a beer."

 

"Were he to tell me he was from Edinburgh, I'd offer my Cousin a seat and buy him a beer."

 

"Were he to tell me he was from London, I'd let the stranger find his own damned seat and let him buy his own damned beer."

 

"Were he to tell me he was from Berlin, I'd offer my friend a seat and buy him a beer."

 

"Were he to tell me he was from Marseille, I'd talk about the weather and drink my beer while he sips his wine."

 

"Should the filth tell me he was from Paris, I'd spit in his face before breaking a barstool over his head, were it not a waste of spit or a perfectly good barstool."

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  • 2 weeks later...

"So the villagers have never been in this dungeon."

 

"How do you know?"

 

"Because the dungeon is full of zombies and villagers don't like zombies."

 

"Why don't they like zombies?"

 

"The zombies come and attack the villagers, and turn them into zombies."

 

"Why don't the villagers attack the zombies and turn them into villagers?"

 

"Because it works like in real life, where the zombies eat the villagers' brains."

 

"Oh.  Okay."

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No, the villagers hire the adventurers to capture zombies and drag them to the village one by one, because it take several villagers a certain amount of time to accomplish the transformation, and the zombies can easily kill the villagers.

 

Eventually the zombies will realize what's happening as they vanish one by one, and come attack en masse. But the villagers still expect the adventurers to not destroy the zombies.

 

Then eventually they'll confront the one who created the zombies.

 

Lucius Alexander

 

Turning a palindromedary into a villager

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