Cancer Posted October 6, 2017 Report Share Posted October 6, 2017 Dog from across the street comes over as I'm putting garbage in the curbside trash can (friendly and well-mannered dog). Owner says to the dog, "He smells like kitties, doesn't he?" My reply: "Right now I smell like kitties and garbage. What could be better than kitties and garbage?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted October 6, 2017 Report Share Posted October 6, 2017 "I'm old-school. I prefer to drop rocks on people's heads." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pattern Ghost Posted October 6, 2017 Report Share Posted October 6, 2017 "I'm pooped. But that doesn't mean I went poo poo. It just means I'm tired." ~My Niece at 4 tkdguy 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted October 9, 2017 Report Share Posted October 9, 2017 "The fact that a high school student needs a permission slip to read Fahrenheit 451 is proof that someone completely missed the point of the book." tkdguy, Hermit, CrosshairCollie and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted October 12, 2017 Report Share Posted October 12, 2017 On a blackboard in the hall there is an announcement of when the tutors are staffing the help room, and an imploration to come. Next to this, in a different handwriting (gosh, whose? ), is the note Dr. Satan sez: "If no vun comes to see ze tutors, obviously ze problems are not hard enough. "Zis must change." tkdguy, L. Marcus, Pariah and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted October 13, 2017 Report Share Posted October 13, 2017 "I had the geekiest conversation with (friend's name) today." "What did you talk about?" "Colonizing Mars. How I'd do it, how he'd do it..." "Yeah, that's pretty geeky." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted October 13, 2017 Report Share Posted October 13, 2017 "If you believe that electrons are located in the nucleus of the atom, perhaps for dessert tonight you should have some plum pudding." Cancer 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted October 13, 2017 Report Share Posted October 13, 2017 Also, don't fire any 15-inch battleship gun shells at tissue paper. Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted October 14, 2017 Report Share Posted October 14, 2017 That comment is just gold. Cancer 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Burrito Boy Posted October 14, 2017 Report Share Posted October 14, 2017 "I don't know if there's another storm coming or what." "Why, you achin'?" "Yeah, bellyachin'." tkdguy 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted October 24, 2017 Report Share Posted October 24, 2017 On drawing terrain (top-down view) for rpgs and wargames: "It doesn't have to be perfect; it just has to be gameable." Cancer 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted November 1, 2017 Report Share Posted November 1, 2017 "So... Did you carve up a pumpkin, or will you just look out the window tonight?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted November 8, 2017 Report Share Posted November 8, 2017 "The bathroom light is out." "Better work on your aim, then." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted November 8, 2017 Report Share Posted November 8, 2017 Today in lab, with a student who didn't want to wear safety goggles. Student: It's hard to see in these things! Me: It's harder to see when you're blind. Lucius, Hermit, Old Man and 1 other 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted November 10, 2017 Report Share Posted November 10, 2017 "I can't make you care. But I can make you suffer." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted November 11, 2017 Report Share Posted November 11, 2017 "Now I know how to perform surgery on a pencil." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted November 12, 2017 Report Share Posted November 12, 2017 "Phones are friends, not food. " Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted November 17, 2017 Report Share Posted November 17, 2017 “I’m coming to register for chaos.” Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrosshairCollie Posted November 17, 2017 Report Share Posted November 17, 2017 "Bet that wasn't a conversation you expected to hear two fifty-year-olds have in front of you." --Me, to a Wal-Mart cashier, after my wife and I saw a display of Pokemon plushies nearby and talked about our favorite Eeveelultions (Eevee and five were there, three missing). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted November 20, 2017 Report Share Posted November 20, 2017 "Most of the critics are D&D fanatics who get butthurt when someone plays a different system." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted November 25, 2017 Report Share Posted November 25, 2017 "I am locked in combat with the demons of stupidity. "I am not winning." Logan D. Hurricanes and Hermit 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted November 26, 2017 Report Share Posted November 26, 2017 Me: This calculator is older than you! Young student: Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted November 26, 2017 Report Share Posted November 26, 2017 2 hours ago, tkdguy said: Me: This calculator is older than you! Young student: I've had this exact conversation. With teenagers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted November 26, 2017 Report Share Posted November 26, 2017 5 minutes ago, Pariah said: I've had this exact conversation. With teenagers. It's your fault, you use an abacus.. Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted November 26, 2017 Report Share Posted November 26, 2017 The hard part of teaching kids to use an abacus is that none of them read cuneiform. Bazza 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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