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Longest Running Thread EVER


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Re: Longest Running Thread EVER

 

. . . I don't need things to talk about right now. I'm just riding the post-Olympic-Men's-Ice-Hockey-Gold bliss . . .

Oh, they won?

 

I wasn't paying attention to the Olympics. It would've required turning on a TV somewhere. I'd been hearing the US hockey team was sucking majorly, though.

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Re: Longest Running Thread EVER

 

The Olympics were on? :think:

 

Oh, that's right, some Canadian won a Gold medal for Australia and the papers were full of the fact he was a millionaire from Internet porn.

 

Soon we'll be overrun with news of the Commonwealth Games, where Australia gets to outperform all the countries in the world that can't play sport.

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Re: Longest Running Thread EVER

 

Oh, that's right, some Canadian won a Gold medal for Australia and the papers were full of the fact he was a millionaire from Internet porn.
A Canadian-born Australian citizen won a gold medal in some skiing event. Since its only the third Winter Olympic medal we won, it was big news... at first. At first he was just a "Canadian", then a "millionaire Canadian", then "a Canadian who made millions from the internet", then "a Canadian who made millions from his internet-based business interests which he won't discuss" with a heavy nudge-nudge wink-wink slant that these business interests involved porn. However, his business interests became the focus of interviews with him - I don't think it unreasonable that he didn't want to talk about his business at these interviews, no-one ever quizzed other medallists about their day jobs - and the focus on news stories about him.

 

The full story is that he and his brother run a company that deals in pop-under ads and spyware (some of which is used on porn sites). They used the money from this business to move to Australia and take out citizenship so they could compete in the Olympics - apparently the Australian Winter Olympics team is run better than the Canadian one, go figure - but they spend most of their time skiing their way across Europe.

 

Soon we'll be overrun with news of the Commonwealth Games, where Australia gets to outperform all the countries in the world that can't play sport.
The Commonwealth Games are like the Olympics, but only for countries that are part of the former British Empire. Australia romps away with most of the Gold Medals at these games, since we are world powers in most events (swimming, for example) but no other Commonwealth countries are.
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Re: Longest Running Thread EVER

 

Soon we'll be overrun with news of the Commonwealth Games' date=' where Australia gets to outperform all the countries in the world that can't play sport.[/quote'] I'll be doing my best to avoid it. Channel 9 promises something like 12 hour days of CG programming -- morning, noon, afternoon and night.

 

CG was a big deal to me with the 83 Brisbane games, but I was young then -- it was fun.

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Re: Longest Running Thread EVER

 

Sven and Ole walk into a pet shop near Brainerd. They

head to the bird section and Sven says to Ole, "Dat's

dem."

The owner comes over and asks if he can help them.

"Yah sure! , ve'll take four of dem dere little budgies in dat cage up dere," says Sven.

The owner puts the budgies in a paper bag. Ole and

Sven pay for the birds, leave the shop, get into

Sven's pick-up, and drive to the top of some big

cliffs near Brainerd Lake. At the cliffs, Sven looks

down at the 1000 foot drop and says, "Dis looks like a

grand place."

He takes two birds out of the bag, puts them on his

shoulders and jumps off the cliff. Ole watches as

Sven falls all the way to the bottom, killing himself dead.

Looking down at the remains of his best pal, Ole

shakes his head and says, "By yumpin' yiminy, dis

budgie jumping is too dangerous for me."

 

VAIT!!! Dere's MORE!

 

Moments later Knute arrives up at the cliffs. He's

been to the pet shop, too, and walks up to the edge of

the cliff carrying another paper bag in one hand and

a shotgun in the other.

"Hey, Ole. Vatch dis," Knute says. He takes a parrot

from the bag and throws himself over the edge of the

cliff. Ole watches as half way down, Knute takes the

gun and blasts the parrot. Knute continues to

plummet down and down until he hits the bottom and

breaks every bone in his body.

Ole shakes his head and says, "And I'm never trying

dat parrotshooting either."

 

BUT VAIT!!! Dere's MORE, you betcha!!

 

Ole is just getting over the shock of losing two

friends when Lars appears. He's also been to the pet

shop and is carrying a paper bag, out of which he

pulls a chicken. Larson grasps the chicken by the

legs, holds it over his head, and hurls himself off

the cliff and disappears down and down until he hits a

rock and breaks his spine. Once more Ole shakes his

head and laments, "First der was Sven with his

budgie jumping, den Knute parrotshooting, and now

Larson hengliding."

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