SSgt Baloo Posted September 9, 2011 Report Share Posted September 9, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... *looks at self* I got better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucius Posted September 10, 2011 Report Share Posted September 10, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Taldore (OOC): I do my daily morning devotions to Solvorn Sky (OOC): "Solvorn! Solvorn! Youre our guy! You bring light to all the sky! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay SOLVORN!" [/pompom] ----------------- Or as the Egyptians used to say: Sun God, Sun God, RA RA RA! Lucius Alexander The palindromedary got better I got better: Healing Whatever ails me 1d6+1, Can Heal Limbs, Variable Advantage (+1 Advantages; Limited Group of Advantages: Variable Effect, Variable Special Effect, Expanded Effect, Decreased Re-use Duration, Can Apply Adders; +1 3/4) (49 Active Points); 3 Charges (-1 1/4) Real Cost: 22 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drhoz Posted September 10, 2011 Report Share Posted September 10, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Or as the Egyptians used to say: Sun God' date=' Sun God, RA RA RA![/quote'] Who's the Fun God! He's the Sun God! RA RA RA! One of the many, many, MANY variant verses of the "Gimme that old-time religion" filk - We will pray to Ra and Ammon Just like Tutankhamen, And teach our friends embalmin', It's good enough for me! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christopher Posted September 10, 2011 Report Share Posted September 10, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... We will pray to Ra and Ammon Just like Tutankhamen, And teach our friends embalmin', It's good enough for me! I just say "Living in an Amish paradise" from Wierd Al Yankovic Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted September 10, 2011 Report Share Posted September 10, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... "Destruction good. Physics bad." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Narf the Mouse Posted September 10, 2011 Report Share Posted September 10, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... "Destruction good. Physics bad." Physics has the best ways to cause destruction. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shadow Hawk Posted September 11, 2011 Report Share Posted September 11, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... The continued adventures of 4th edition DnD Andraste the Pyromaniac, Eladrin Warlock Theren the Archer, Elven Ranger Adinymus the Holy, Drow Cleric Erevan the Dancer, Eladrin Swordmage Nebin the Short, Halfling Rogue Sepheris the Creepy, Shadow-Elf Thief Goguin the Faithful, Dwarven Cleric Andraste Philosophy: Andraste: So long as I get to set things on fire, I'm fine. Goguin: Be nice. Andraste: I am being nice! No one should die cold and alone! Theren: Nature check of Justice! We meet a barbarian tribe... GM You see a group of humans wearing animal skins. Sepheris: Careful, they could be Larpers. To battle! Therin: I want my quarry to die! Sepheris: I support this plan. Goguin: The only good quarry you get rocks from. Andraste: If Therin used a sling, he could rock his quarry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Tom 2009 Posted September 11, 2011 Report Share Posted September 11, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... He turned me into a newt! Who turned you into a newt? Major Tom 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SSgt Baloo Posted September 11, 2011 Report Share Posted September 11, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... He's a witch! Burn him! The above quote, referring to Major Tom. If he's a witch, he must have turned me into a newt. I hit "Submit Reply" before I realized how far back in the thread I was, and that I might have benefited from a quote. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drhoz Posted September 11, 2011 Report Share Posted September 11, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... The conclusion of the Colour Out Of Space flashback. The 1920s aftermath, and the rubbish I managed to throw together in a hurry because my blasted players managed to completely derail the plot in under 5 minutes, to follow in subsequent installments. *sigh* It's more than slightly aggravating when you craft an adventure in which their massive arsenal and assorted grimoires will counts for naught, and they solve - or at least postpone indefinitely - the problem with two questions and a suggestion. Spoilers for HPL's original, wonderful story, of course, since events proceeded to roughly as satisfying a conclusion as you can hope for in a Lovecraft tale. Anyway - the Gardner farm, west of Arkham, 1883, and a scene of unspeakable horror. Neighbour Ammi Pierce, city vet 'Doc' Pinter, and the sheriff they dragged out there have not taken their discoveries very well at all. And speaking of wells, Ammi is determined to seal the Gardner's well-shaft with dynamite, and sets off on pursuit of his terrified horse and whatever explosives he can buy. Ammi Pierce : I know what we need... Rondale OOC : TOGA PARTY! Ammi : I need dynamite! Nitroglycerin! Heavy artillery shells! GM : *raises eyebrow* Really? Want to see if you can get a few battleships to sail up the Miskatonic first? Or we should go straight to orbital lasers? Ammi OOC : Yes! No, wait, lasers would be no good against a Colour. GM : And what, pray tell, is your skill in demolitions? Ammi's player : There's a demolitions skill? GM : *smiles sweetly* This should prove entertaining. Doc Pinter, on the other hand, doesn't want *anybody* coming to the farm again, and is appalled when the Sheriff indicates his intention to get the medical examiner et al out to examine the remains, and search for the missing children. Initially, Pinter intended to subdue that doughty officer with a shovel, but settles instead for horse tranquillisers and a hypodermic. By the time a clearly disturbed Ammi returns to his panic-stricken wife with sacks of gunpowder, Pinter has dragged the unconscious lawman all the from the Gardner farm. Pinter : He's fine. Ignore the shovel. Charity Pierce begs her husband not to return to the Gardner's farm, but he insists he has one last duty to perform for his friend, and possibly humanity, and manages to avoid Pinter's new passion for horse tranquillizers over creosote. The latter reluctantly pursues on foot. GM : And so despite everything the two of you return to the Gardner farm... *grins evilly* Pinter and Pierce struggle with each other at the lip of the well, one armed with a sack of gunpowder as a club, the other with a hypodermic. Pinter is quite rightly terrified about what Ammi might rouse if he blows up the well.. Aldous Quinn's player : This is the ridiculous fight scene ever... Rondale's player : Also the most awesome! Ammi : Don't try and stop me, Doc, or I swear I'll blow us both to Kingdom Come! Pinter : *weighs up the odds... and flees on the only horse* GM : Bill Pinter, coward AND horse-thief Ammi proceeds to set off the buried gunpowder and chokes the well, and returns home, pleased with a job well done ( or at least thinks is ), to comfort his wife and rouse the the Sheriff. Thus, they are the only witnesses to the unearthly glow and churning light boiling into the sky over the ridge that evening, as the Colour leaps back into the void, tearing everything once living there apart ... and only Ammi sees the weaker light that falters and falls back to Earth... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drhoz Posted September 12, 2011 Report Share Posted September 12, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... The aftermath of the ghastly events of 1882 and 1883, which McGinty and Al are investigating. They've been out to see the Blasted Heath, researched what they could about the bizarre meteor that landed there, and are now off to interview the aged Ammi Pierce, witness to events. He tells them everything, even how he narrowly avoided prison time for apparently blowing half the valley to Kingdom Come, and gibbers a bit about the way the Blasted Heath gets a little bigger every year, and way he's got to listenin' for something every oddly silent spring. McGinty : The dead zone still growing? GM : So you've been told. McGinty : But there's still plant life around the edge? GM : Sickly and stunted, but yes. McGinty : How much would it cost to cropdust the valley with herbicide and tell the Arkham council to cancel the reservoir because of the taint in the soil? GM : ....*realises the PCs will just spray by hand if they have to, McGinty already has the respect of the council, and I've just given them all the reports and witness statements they'll need to back it up* .... *headesk* Other GM : I sympathise - one of my players just blinded the entire army they were supposed to fight. Rondale : I can see the headline now - 'McGinty cancels reservoir - Reveals threat to community' - that's why we HAVE a spin doctor on the team True, the adventure I had planned is salvagable, but their actions will postpone it for months at the very least, and beyond the scope of the campaign. GM : I can't believe he did this to me - all that perpetration and he solves it with a quick technological fix and wads of cash. Rondale : He's the Tony Stark of Cthulhu. GM : I can see that. He's certainly a charming but obnoxious drunk. The players proceed to amuse themselves whilst I try and figure out a way to bring the next adventure forward, AND introduce another new PC, Deborah Einstein, cranky astrophysicist. Rondale has returned from his meeting with the Office of Naval Intelligence in Washington DC, and is greeted at the door by a very relieved Aldous Quinn. Al : Mister Rondale! Rondale : You seem stressed. Al : Mr. McGinty has been ... over-medicating again. McGinty : *clanks downstairs in a full suit of plate armour* Rondale : ... why? McGinty : I have enemies. Rondale decides that he's not going to move into the Wilcox Mansion with McGinty, and will instead stay at the Corbitt House, which despite its horrific history will probably still be better for his sanity. Al approves - that should stop some of the rumours. Of course, McGinty having a fiancée should stop those rumours as well, although his plan to go visit her in full plate might start others. Rondale : Why are you visiting this woman in full plate? McGinty : 'cause nothing says lovin' like somethin' in the oven. Aldous is highly relieved that someone as level-headed as Rondale is here to temper the worst of McGinty's enthusiasms. Al : It's so good to have you back, Mr. Rondale! *bearhugs* Rondale : .... ribs! Rondale : Seriously, McGinty, you have hire more campaign staff. McGinty : Good idea, more people to catch a bullet for me. Rondale : Why are you looking like that, Al? Al : Because I've learned that when Mr. McGinty says he'll delegate, he means 'Al can do it.' Rondale is alarmed to learn that McGinty has been associated with yet another mysteriously exploding house, and more so about his association with Gamwell's resident librarian. Rondale : Why are you giving this woman money? Al : *mutters* Why would he be giving any woman money? Rondale heads out to meet the librarian and conduct damage control if necessary. Rondale : So, what do you think our our future governor? Librarian : *gushes* Oh, he's wonderful, so kind, and generous, and sober... are you alright there Mr. Rondale? You seem to be choking. Rondale returns to Arkham, checking on the Rondale & McGinty Automotive & Electrical Repair business they own and jointly run. It's not doing as well as could be hoped - the employees are competent, but overworked, what with McGinty and Rondale so busy with other concerns. One annoyed customer - Miss Einstein - is waiting outside for the staff to return from an errand. Rondale fixed her problem, and they chat briefly about the car radio he and McGinty invented. Rondale : It even got a mention in Science & Invention GM : The same issue as the robot cop with the rotating flails, tear gas, radiotelegraphy, and caterpillar treads. Al OOC : It beats up unarmed civilians a treat Rondale : 'Stop. Resisting! Stop. Resisting!' Rondale : You need to hire more staff. Maybe a sign 'Help wanted. Arsonists preferred, no experience necessary. Apply within.' Campaign manager Plaski insists they continue the electoral tour, to keep on the public eye. The arrest of the Crimson Gang that first brought McGinty et al to national attention was great publicity, but more is necessary. GM : You can always break the Gang out of jail, then arrest them again - that would be newsworthy, either way Rondale's player : I know you're short on ideas, Drhoz, but re-enacting the plot of Mystery Men is not the way to go. McGinty : I can always go down to the soup line and hire some people GM : It's not that bad yet - the isn't the Great Depression. Of course, after a few years of McGinty as governor... McGinty : We should have a public debate - we both get up and give reasons why everybody should vote McGinty GM : You expect your opponent to endorse you? McGinty : Sure do. 'cause I'm gonna mind control him. Mesmerism isn't the only way McGinty will ensure a better future for all. For example, the various necromantic powers he's been gleefully exercising any time the other investigators will let him. McGinty : I even find jobs for the dead McGinty : I can raise every corpse in that graveyard across the road and get them to vote for me. Rondale : 'Mr McGinty, this paper has uncovered evidence that you are guilty of electoral fraud!' McGinty : Bullshit! I can get every one of those dead people in here to testify! McGinty : McGinty for Governor - So Sensible A Choice, Even The Dead Come Back To Vote For Him. Rondale : If you're to garner the youth vote, then speaking at Radcliffe College would be perfect. McGinty : And they've got women there! Rondale : My sister is there McGinty : What's the problem? She's cute. Rondale's Player : We're going to refurbish that New York bunker as a back-up hideout, and call it Second Base. McGinty's Player : 'We're going to Second Base tonight' Rondale reads an alarming headline in one of the papers he missed whilst out of town - "Another Area Grave-robbery! Christchurch Cemetery Is Victimized!" Rondale : McGinty... They head down to the library to follow this up, and learn that this is just the latest in a string of such crimes all over this corner of Massachusetts. Deborah is there too, following up the same curious meteorite reports that had McGinty's attention earlier in the week. The librarian helpfully puts them in touch, although attention is the last thing McGinty et al want right now. McGinty doesn't make a favourable impression on the rather forthright astrophysicist. Comments like the last following don't help. Al : I wonder how they keep spotting us? GM : I can't imagine - you're merely two horribly scarred men and a gorilla. GM : The client from the store is approaching you with an odd expression Rondale : I hope that isn't lust. Al : Hmm. She wants to be a doctor. Must be a lesbian. McGinty : She's got an opinion. Must be a lesbian. GM : *chokes* I was trying to drink, you bastards! Rondale's Player : 'I love Call of Cthulhu! I get to be a chauvinistic, racist asshole!' Next session - more of the adventure 'Dust to Dust', from Dead Reckonings. Hopefully Miss Einstein won't be another addition to the long list of women who want to stab Paddy McGinty with a broken bottle. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ian Mackinder Posted September 12, 2011 Report Share Posted September 12, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Hopefully Miss Einstein won't be another addition to the long list of women who want to stab Paddy McGinty with a broken bottle. So, she'll choose a more lethal weapon to attack him with, then? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drhoz Posted September 12, 2011 Report Share Posted September 12, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... So' date=' she'll choose a more lethal weapon to attack him with, then?[/quote'] Seems likely. They WERE asking a lot of questions about the advantages of handguns vs. long arms... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Manic Typist Posted September 12, 2011 Report Share Posted September 12, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Wait, how did the other PC blind an entire army? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Tom 2009 Posted September 12, 2011 Report Share Posted September 12, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Oh, yeah, the digital readout on the dementometer is steadily creeping (appropiate term indeed for a CoC campaign) into the red zone... As for how a PC blinded an entire army, maybe it involved a striptease (). Major Tom 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drhoz Posted September 12, 2011 Report Share Posted September 12, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Wait' date=' how did the other PC blind an entire army?[/quote'] Oh, yeah, the digital readout on the dementometer is steadily creeping (appropiate term indeed for a CoC campaign) into the red zone... As for how a PC blinded an entire army, maybe it involved a striptease (). They're certainly driving ME insane. Re: the army, they apparently took one look at the army, pulled out an artifact the GM had unthinkingly given them earlier, and said 'Sunburst' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klytus Posted September 12, 2011 Report Share Posted September 12, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... They're certainly driving ME insane. Re: the army' date=' they apparently took one look at the army, pulled out an artifact the GM had unthinkingly given them earlier, and said 'Sunburst'[/quote'] Reminds me of a story I heard told (D&D 3.5) of how one player wiped out an entire army when his wizard used the feat Sudden Maximize on a Meteor Swarm. The DM nearly had a seizure: even if every last member of the army in the area of effect rolled a Natural 20 on every one of their saves, the damage was still more than enough to kill them all outright. The army was supposed to wear the party down before the fight against the BBEG... only now, there was nothing between him and the party, and they had only burned a single spell. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drhoz Posted September 13, 2011 Report Share Posted September 13, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Reminds me of a story I heard told (D&D 3.5) of how one player wiped out an entire army when his wizard used the feat Sudden Maximize on a Meteor Swarm. The DM nearly had a seizure: even if every last member of the army in the area of effect rolled a Natural 20 on every one of their saves' date=' the damage was still more than enough to kill them all outright. The army was supposed to wear the party down before the fight against the BBEG... only now, there was nothing between him and the party, and they had only burned a single spell.[/quote'] *nods sympathetically* Of course, now you wonder why anybody in those worlds even has armies, instead of thousands of well-trained assassins. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enforcer84 Posted September 13, 2011 Report Share Posted September 13, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... *nods sympathetically* Of course' date=' now you wonder why anybody in those worlds even has armies, instead of thousands of well-trained assassins.[/quote'] Well trained assassins cost way more. And tend to kill each other over bragging rights. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lemming Posted September 13, 2011 Report Share Posted September 13, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Well trained assassins cost way more. And tend to kill each other over bragging rights. And unions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klytus Posted September 13, 2011 Report Share Posted September 13, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... *nods sympathetically* Of course' date=' now you wonder why anybody in those worlds even has armies, instead of thousands of well-trained assassins.[/quote'] Things such as this taught me a Very Important Rule™ for DM/GMing: Never be attached to the outcome. I lay the foundation of the story, define the main characters, and figure out what will happen if everything goes "According To Plan™." Of course, once the PCs are on the case, The Plan™ just simply ain't gonna happen. It just doesn't. But once you accept this as fait accompli, all of a sudden, it doesn't matter what happens. If you know the NPCs well enough, you know how they would react to "life throwing them lemons", have them act accordingly, and the story moves on. Huge amount of prep and carefully laid plans bypassed in a heartbeat? Save them for later. After all, if they passed right over it, how will they know you're re-using it? Also, if you sketch out what all the NPCs are up to Behind The Scenes™, then even if certain things were not meant to be a part of this story (yet!), you always have a back-up for the times when everything gets well and truly hosed for the GM. I am very proud of the fact that the words cunning, subtle, sneaky, devious, glorious, and bastard have all been used (among others), and in tones ranging from rage to grudging admiration, to describe me as a GM. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drhoz Posted September 13, 2011 Report Share Posted September 13, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Well trained assassins cost way more. And tend to kill each other over bragging rights. As much as the army you paid for that just got wiped out by some asshole with Meteor Swarm? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shadow Hawk Posted September 13, 2011 Report Share Posted September 13, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... *nods sympathetically* Of course' date=' now you wonder why anybody in those worlds even has armies, instead of thousands of well-trained assassins.[/quote'] The Law of Conservation of Ninjitsu applies. 1 Ninja: Deadly dangerous. 10 Ninja: Dangerous 100 Ninja: Nuisance 1,000 Ninja: Cannon Fodder 10,000 Ninja: Comedy Relief Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drhoz Posted September 13, 2011 Report Share Posted September 13, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Bemoaning the fact that the supergroup includes such alarming characters as former child soldiers, brain-eating monsters, deranged sex-bots, and Vitus, but has an utterly innocuous, Comics Code Approved name. Nameless : Honestly, it's like an Aristocrats joke. Deserich : 'And what do you call this act?' 'The Millennium Sentinels!' Nameless : It doesn't even make sense - 'What do you watch over?' 'Broken noses - if they ever become endangered we create some more' Meteor OOC : I used to have a problem with Green and Blue drops. But the cream my doctor gave me cleared it right up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christopher Posted September 13, 2011 Report Share Posted September 13, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Reminds me of a story I heard told (D&D 3.5) of how one player wiped out an entire army when his wizard used the feat Sudden Maximize on a Meteor Swarm. The DM nearly had a seizure: even if every last member of the army in the area of effect rolled a Natural 20 on every one of their saves' date=' the damage was still more than enough to kill them all outright. The army was supposed to wear the party down before the fight against the BBEG... only now, there was nothing between him and the party, and they had only burned a single spell.[/quote'] One of the first lessons if the enemy has Area of Effect Weapons: Don't stand to close together. Formations are nice against other armies, but a bad choice against magic users and other artillery weapons. When the enemy knows of the Heroes caster (especially when he can throw fireballs), they would certainly not lump together that much. And there is always the concept of a vanguard just so the heroes trigger any fight enders... Bemoaning the fact that the supergroup includes such alarming characters as former child soldiers' date=' brain-eating monsters, deranged sex-bots, and Vitus, [/quote'] Vitus. A category of it's own Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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