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A Thread for Random Musings


Old Man

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Re: A Thread for Random Musings

 

My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me. It was her beautiful younger sister.

 

My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was braless. She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a pleasant view. She never did it when she was near anyone else.

 

One day "little" sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome. She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister.

 

Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word. She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me."

 

I was stunned- frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. She pulled off her panties and threw them down the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to The front door. I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car. Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping!

 

With tears in his eyes, my future father-in-law hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test.....we couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family."

 

And the moral of this story is:

 

Always keep your condoms in your car.

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Don't Ask

 

:dyn SPACE GODZILLA :dyn

 

Height: 120 meters (394 feet)

 

Weight: 88,000 tons

 

Weapons : All of Godzilla powers plus:

 

Able to fly through space by encasing himself in a crystalline cocoon;

 

packs a potent energy punch via the swirling corona beam that eminates from its mouth;

 

can control magnetic energy and disperse it from giant crystals on its shoulders,

 

creating a Gravity Tornado;

 

psychic powers;

 

creates giant energy crystals to collect cosmic energy

and launch them as offensive "missiles";

 

cosmic force field for defense;

 

absorb energy rays directed at him,

amplify them, and direct the beam back at the attacker;

 

and as a further plus: creates destructive/magnetic shock waves when flying.

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Re: A Thread for Random Musings

 

Psst! Come Here!

 

I hear the music, daylight disc

Three men in black said, "Don't report this"

"Ascension," and that's all they said

Sickness now, the hour's dread

 

All praise

He's found the awful truth, Balthazar

He's found the saucer news

 

I'm in fairy rings and tower beds

"Don't report this," three men said

Books by the blameless and by the dead

King in yellow, queen in red

 

All praise

He's found the awful truth, Balthazar

He's found the saucer news

 

Dead leaves always give up motion

I no longer feel the motion

Where prophecy fails, the falling motion

"Don't report this, agents of fortune"

 

All praise

He's found the awful truth, Balthazar

He's found the saucer news

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Re: A Thread for Random Musings

 

Anthrax

The Greater Of Two Evils

 

I just picked this album up... 1980s Anthrax was a killer Thrash band, Belladonna is an excellent singer, and that era has some killer stuff in it.

 

But when John Bush came on board as lead singer Anthrax turned into a juggernaut of a band, a truly massive monster of talent and awesome music...

 

The Greater Of Two Evils is 80s Anthrax redone by the 90s Anthrax and John Bush does these songs more than justice... his voice on Keep It In The Family and I Am The Law is a thing to behold.

 

This album is just F- Awesome.

 

....now why the hell is Anthrax doing some retarded reunion tour as a follow up to We've Come For You All? Seriously... get back in the studio and get John behind the mic again...

 

that is all, carry on.

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Re: A Thread for Random Musings

 

Local used record store called Cheapo Discs has what they call a "Green Tag" section which is used CDs that are obviously scratched. They range in price from 1-5$ depending on how badly scratched and if it's a single or full CD. Full CDs tend to start at 3$, which I picked up a copy of Who Made Who (AC/DC) for.

 

I've yet to find a CD so badly scratched it doesn't work or clean up well. I think I found my first. Metal CDs are usually by far the worst damaged I've found. Do metal heads use these things as coasters on sandpaper or something? really.

 

Ah well, $3 isn't a bad price to take a chance with.

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Re: A Thread for Random Musings

 

I finally got around to loading and exploring the Python image-manipulation package last night. Hooked it up to an RNG, put circular spots of random sizes, random positions, and random colors on a black field. The kids thought it was cool.

 

Next step is to put in a more realistic profile (rather than uniform circles, a centrally-peaked brightness distribution), get a decent table mapping real-life star colors to RGB values, and if I really want to get fancy, some kind of way to put in diffraction spikes. Then I should be able to create real-looking random starfield images. (Or non-random images; I intend to recreate a copyright-free version of my old starfield avatar, from published data tables.)

 

Years ago I wrote up something that created random "galaxies"; that is, randomly populated a three-dimensional space with stars, then computed the appearance of the sky as seen from a point in that space. I'll have to rewrite that, but it shouldn't be hard. Put that together with the above and I can generate color fictitious star maps at will. Could be fun.

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Re: A Thread for Random Musings

 

During a high school class, a teacher was trying to teach good manners.

 

The teacher asks the students: "Michael, if you were on a date, having supper with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?"

 

"Just a minute, I have to go piss."

 

" That would be rude and impolite!!! What about you John, how would you say it?"

 

" I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom, I'll be right back."

 

" That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the table. And you Peter, are you able to use your intelligence for once and show us your good manners?"

 

" I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment, I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope you'll get to meet after supper."

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Re: A Thread for Random Musings

 

You angel you,

You got me under your wing,

And the way you walk and the way you talk,

Feel I could almost sing.

 

You angel you,

You're as fine as anything's fine,

Though I just walk and I watch you talk,

Your memory's on my mind.

 

Even though I can't sleep at night for trying,

Well I never did feel this way before,

I never did get up and walk the floor,

If this is love then give me more and more and more and more and more.

 

You angel you,

You're as fine as fine can be,

And the way you walk and the way you talk,

Is the way it ought to be.

 

You angel you.

Well I never did feel this way before,

I never did get up and walk the floor,

If this is love then give me more and more and more and more and more.

 

You angel you,

You got me under your wing,

And the way you walk and the way you talk,

Feel I could almost sing.

 

You angel you,

You're as fine as anything's fine,

Though I just walk and I watch you talk,

Your memory's on my mind.

 

Even though I can't sleep at night for trying,

Well I never did feel this way before,

I never did get up and walk the floor,

If this is love then give me more and more.

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