The cranky thread

[Hermit]

There is something wrong where you live in fear of a loved one calling because you just KNOW it's going to be news of someone you love's life going to hell... again, and you can't do one damn thing about it.

[tkdguy]

There is something wrong where you live in fear of a loved one calling because you just KNOW it's going to be news of someone you love's life going to hell... again, and you can't do one damn thing about it.

 

I've been living with that for years. First it was dreading the news that my father had died, now waiting to hear the same about an uncle and an aunt. And it always hits you hard, no matter how long you prepare for it.

[Hermit]

well this particular storm is..different, but you certainly have my sympathies and thanks for your understanding both.

[Nolgroth]

Living with dread is horrible no matter what the cause. It saps you of a lot of joy that you might otherwise get to experience. You have my sympathies for that. Three of the worst things that ever happened to me happened when I was asleep. I dreaded sleeping for so many years that, to this day, my sleep schedule is completely borked. When I get refreshing sleep, it is a treasured occurrence.

[Hermit]

You guys is good peoplez

[Old Man]

Takes one to know one.

[Nolgroth]

Yeah! I'm rubber and you're glue. Bounces off me and sticks to you. Nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah.

 

Wait. Did I miss something?

 

[Ternaugh]

So, it seems that a police officer was the one who walked Mom's set of keys to her apartment to the office on Friday--after they called for backup to deal with my relatives who were in the apartment at the time. They then almost got trespassed from the office for bad behavior trying to get the keys back.

 

Back on Friday, I was juggling the various calls to and from relatives, work assignments, arranging with HR and my boss's boss for bereavement and leave of absence, and occasionally trying to look up tickets for the flight. I ended up having my session time out a couple of times from inactivity (locking your computer and coming back 30 or 40 minutes later will do that), but the last time, the site just didn't want to pull up results. So I gave up, and decided to buy the tickets later on Priceline.

 

Later arrives, and I start configuring everything. Basically, my choices are always American Airlines (post-merger) and Delta. I prefer Delta because the seat pitch on the smaller jet is terrible on American, and generally the level of amenities was a little higher. The "let us get the lowest price" deal came up American. Well, so be it, Delta's site was the one that gave me the timeouts before.

 

Yesterday was my travel day, and I got up really early for my flight, and looked at a news site, only to see that Delta's computers decided that they wanted a vacation, and there were massive delays and cancelations. I had never been so happy that my tickets were with American Airlines in my life.

 

Even though I told one of my relatives that I'd call when I got settled in the hotel, I received a call on my cell as I was waiting at the light to turn into the driveway. I explained that I was going to go down the following morning, and get the keys, and call them sometime afterward. So far, so good.

 

This morning, I met Mom's medical technician, who was going to do a few things around the apartment to help me out, and to turn in her set of keys to me so that I could return them to the office later in the week. That meant, of course, that I get a call about an hour later asking "what is she doing there?" (They've obviously driven by and seen her car). I've had enough of this crap, and calmly stated, "Right now, she's cleaning out the toilet." My relative then starts to go into a tirade about the medical technician, and I demonstrated, at an extended volume, my knowledge of colorful metaphors and their application in expressing displeasure. That got a response of "and I want my lamp back!" before she hung up.

 

I waited for several minutes before calling back and informing her that she is welcome to any lamp in the house, as I don't really know which is hers. I've been reinvited to dinner tonight, and I'm about to leave right after I finish this to go there. There are not enough words to express my joy at having dinner with them tonight (though a few colorful metaphors might do).

[Old Man]

Sympathies, Ternaugh. I get to experience a little of that as the wife does not get along with her siblings, which exponentially magnifies any health-related drama with her father. I hope he lives forever.

[Nolgroth]

Ouch. My sympathies that you have to endure all that proto-fertilizer Ternaugh. 

[Ternaugh]

Today would have been Mom's 76th birthday. I celebrated by eating a rare steak and a rich dessert (that I shouldn't have), and tipping the server $20 on a $25 order.

 

The day's actually been pretty good. I'm almost done with sorting through Mom's stuff, I dropped off her cable box to the company, and called up her telephone company to cancel service. The cable box owes the estate $11, which they'll send as a check, and the phone company will send a final bill to me (which will be probably 10x that, knowing the phone company). I haven't had to deal with any relatives today, so that's a bonus.

 

I've mentioned before that Mom used to feed the animals around her house, including a family of crows. I hadn't seen any of them for the last couple of days, until today. One of the crows was keeping a lookout in a tree across the street, and as I went out to check her mailbox, I heard a call from it that I always associated with when I'd feed them, or when I'd put the trash out during previous visits. On the way back from the mailbox, two other crows arrived, and all were visible on the lawn watching me, and keeping an eye on her house. we looked at each other (at a distance), and then they all quietly took flight. I have no doubt that they know she isn't there, and I almost took it to be paying respects.

[gewing]

My employer as of today offered me the health insurance packages that make up a "qualified" plan, so will cost me my subsidy on the Healthcare exchange. 

 

I recently got a raise, (I am now a licensed health and life insurance sales agent- helluva nasty test)

 

THis will cut my subsidy anyway, and may cost my son his Medicaid...

 

 

 

The employer sponsored insurance is actually either a $5000 deductible HSA eligible plan-(legally this means NO copays, and includes co-insurance after the deductible is met)

or

a combination of two plans. Both are needed to achieve basically full coverage.   One is a Crappy fixed benefit plan (one of three) mostly covering hospitalizations (as long as only 2 days a year) at $440/ month (the "best" version) for my family if it has any chance of actually paying a reasonable portion of those two days costs.  (also 65 dollars per day for prescription coverage, 12 days max per year, so...  )     

 

The other one (choice of one of two)  have an almost reasonable deductible and copay structure, but does not offer ANY inpatient medical care. or mental healthcare, so those are under the other plan.  

 

I am trained in reading health insurance, and I am still confused. 

 

What really makes me irate, however, is that I can't get any idea what the costs are for the other plans.   It looks like if I go onto the web page and start the signup process, I might be signed up before I can see the cost.   

In addition, it would be BACK DATED to start August 1st, and I am insured otherwise this month, so how would THAT mess me up?

 

 

I really am coming to the conclusion that the philosophy of the modern health insurance system is that if you are not really poor, so fully subsidized, or really rich, you are supposed to be dead or bankrupt- welcome to the new debt peonage.  

[Ternaugh]

Gewing, I'm sorry that you're going through that.For this year, my work eliminated the 80/20 PPO for a high deductible monstrosity like you mention. I'm lucky, though, because they also had an HMO that I could switch to. My regular doctor's not on the HMO list, however, so we have made other arrangements for office visits.

[Nolgroth]

You know, reading the previous posts on this page makes my crankiness sort of like a 1st World Crankiness, but I want to run a game but don't want to sink the effort and time into getting it ready. I just want it all pre-generated but exactly as I would do it if I had the impetus. I just ain't got the impetus.

[Netzilla]

You know, reading the previous posts on this page makes my crankiness sort of like a 1st World Crankiness, but I want to run a game but don't want to sink the effort and time into getting it ready. I just want it all pre-generated but exactly as I would do it if I had the impetus. I just ain't got the impetus.

 

I know exactly how you feel.  I've got several ideas for potential campaigns but no energy for putting the work in to set them up.  Somehow it just feels tedious and I just can't seem to get the excitement in planning a campaign that I used to.

[aylwin13]

You know, reading the previous posts on this page makes my crankiness sort of like a 1st World Crankiness, but I want to run a game but don't want to sink the effort and time into getting it ready. I just want it all pre-generated but exactly as I would do it if I had the impetus. I just ain't got the impetus.

 

 

I know exactly how you feel.  I've got several ideas for potential campaigns but no energy for putting the work in to set them up.  Somehow it just feels tedious and I just can't seem to get the excitement in planning a campaign that I used to.

 

I wish I was anywhere near either of you two. I have enough enthusiasm as a player for both of your games. It's been that long since even the games I was in on HERO Central ended.

[tkdguy]

I woke up early today on my day off to watch the Fencing and Judo matches advertised on NBCSN. And what do I get?

 

The only Judo match they've shown was Kayla Harris' match, and only because she's American. If she loses in the semifinals, the medal matches probably won't be aired.

 

And no fencing like the TV guide promised. The website says it will air between 5-9 pm PDT. Hopefully they don't preemt it again. Instead, they've been showing beach volleyball, and I really hate beach volleyball.

 

Stupid NBC!

[Burrito Boy]

On the subject of roleplaying related crankiness...

 

A few days ago I decided to organize my roleplaying book collection and found that two boxes of my books had been infested by termites. Fortunately, most of the books were okay but I had to toss two Mystara box sets and all my Rolemaster books were chewed up. They're still readable but I spent a lot of money on these books over the years so it's frustrating. On the bright side, the termites spent so much time chomping on my books that there's little damage to the part of the floor the books were sitting on. Even better, the termites chewed through the bottom of the box full of my Robert E. Howard hardbacks but didn't chew the books inside. The Worms of the Earth are no match for Bran Mak Morn.

[tkdguy]

Ouch! Sorry to hear that, BB. I think I'd better go and check my library.

[Hermit]

On a more immediate less helpless note...well, I'm still helpless to do anything about it now....

but who in hell with any sense of Common Courtesy at all asks if they can crash at your house for a weekend to help someone move into the college, just the two of them...

and then asks if his girlfriend can come...

then without telling you, brings two more on top of that... and they're on the road, so it's not like you can tell them forget it. 

 

I swear, if I had enough money in the right here and now to swing a hotel room, I'd rent them one and then pull said guest aside with a warning to NEVER pull this #### again without more warning or they could camp out in card board boxes for all I care

[Nolgroth]

Sounds like opening to a bad horror movie.  So got a hockey mask? 

[Hermit]

Oooo

 

no.

[Ternaugh]

I'm not sure if this should be in the Nice Happy thread, or here, which I guess describes a lot of life events.

 

I'm back from Maine. Mom's apartment has been cleaned out, the mail set to forward to me, and the keys turned back in to the office. I had a wonderful chat with several of the folks there, from the director, through the administrators, to the maintenance people. All of them really liked her, and her sudden death touched each of them. I talked to the director again on Thursday, and he was inspired by our conversation about Mom to help a motorist in distress on the Interstate--a way of passing along Mom's belief of watching out for each other, helping those who need it. In that spirit, pretty much everything that could be used by someone in her apartment has been passed along--kitchen goods and non-perishable food to the senior council at the retirement community, her walker and cane to someone who could use it, a bunch of clothes and linens to Goodwill. Her window air conditioner will be cleaned up by the maintenance folks, and set up for someone in the community that wouldn't necessarily be able to afford one. I've taken a small amount of family documents (including my Dad's Army Air Corps certificate from 1943, something that I didn't even know still existed), and a few family photos, as well as some happy memories of times shared with her.

 

I went over to my Aunt and Uncle's house on Thursday, and picked up a picture of Mom that used to hang on my Grand-mere's wall, as well as a few other documents. Sadly, my Aunt has been hard at work isolating my Uncle from his family, and Thursday was no exception. She had her kids and grandchildren around the kitchen table, and announced casually that there didn't seem to be enough chairs to seat me. I smiled, and said, "That's okay. I understand," while trying not say what I was thinking. My Mom was extremely intelligent with a quick wit, and a sometimes sharp tongue. I've learned to hold mine, as I did then, but I longed to say, "That's okay, I never really expected a seat at your table." I was only able to talk with my Uncle for a few minutes before other matters pulled him away. He asked if I might stop by Friday, and I said that I'd try.

 

Friday afternoon, I completed closing out Mom's bank account and safe deposit box, and called my Aunt and Uncle's cell phone. It rang about 6 times before I was shuffled to a message that the voice mail wasn't set up. I tried again Saturday after I checked out of my hotel room, but the phone rang 5 times before the same message came. I tried the home phone number, and she answered, and explained in a flat, cold voice that it wasn't a good time to come over, because they were preparing to go to a meeting* in Augusta at 1 PM (it was about 11 AM then, Augusta is about 20 miles away by Interstate). I apologized for disturbing them, and asked her to relay my love to my Uncle. I didn't push; I doubt that she would have turned over the phone to him. It was with a sense of melancholy that I realized that the hurried conversation on Thursday will probably be the last time that I see him face-to-face. My Aunt has been systematically cutting my Uncle off from any family that he had, and, sadly, she's pretty much completed her mission.

 

I had said my goodbyes to the other family members Thursday and Friday, and, for the most part, they seemed to have calmed down over the last few days. "The lamp" was still an issue (a Tiffany-style reproduction shade), but I'm pretty sure that it was broken some time ago. I offered to buy another lamp if it would make peace with everyone, and that has apparently ended the discussion without the person coming forward to take me up on the offer.

 

I found out from my Mom's cousin's son that the morning that Mom passed he saw 5 crows across the street, watching everything quietly, and not moving from the spot. I figure that was the full extended family: the mother and father crows, junior and its mate, and the baby from last year. Friday morning, I was putting out the trash and found a weathered crow feather on the lawn, placed where I would see it (but not where they would leave gifts). I examined it, but returned it to its spot, as I think that it might be a remembrance for them. The place used to have a bunch of squirrels and birds that would visit and hang around, but this week, I've only seen one squirrel, a hummingbird, and a chickadee feeding at the next-door neighbor's feeders.

 

And now, I'm back home, taking a short rest before returning to work tomorrow. It's funny, I usually have a song playing in my head just about all of the time. During this week, the default choices were "The Closing of the Year" from the Toys soundtrack ("If I cannot bring you comfort/Then at least I bring you hope"), and the Warren Zevon song, "Lawyers, Guns and Money" ("Send lawyers, guns, and money/The sh*t has hit the fan").

 

 

 

*Her AA family is "very important" to her.

[Nolgroth]

You've been busy this week. Take a few minutes to grieve my friend.

[Starlord]

A $5 warranty fee?  A f**king warranty fee!!!?!?!  My phone just stopped working...it just WENT BAD!!  I did nothing to it!  Now I have to pay a fee to exercise the warranty that I ALREADY PAID FOR!!??!?!  Go to hell, T-Mobile!!  :angry: