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The cranky thread


Hermit

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Having trouble getting rest the last few weeks, despite the fact that I do sleep. It doesn't seem to be helping and I feel exhausted all the time. I keep dreaming and thinking about something that happened two decades ago. That's not like me. Usually I follow my dad's advice about letting the past stay where it is. Up until recently, I almost never thought about it. I tried doing some research to maybe quell these thoughts, but nearly everything I've found pertains to the new facility that opened after I left. The old one has since been torn down.

 

Lack of rest makes me grumpy.  :ugly:

 

And it ain't the 18th yet. I want my Skyrim: Special Edition and I want it NOW! NOW! NOW! NOW!

 

Ahem. Sorry about that.

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Somebody stole our lawnmower.

 

Well, first of all, I can't possibly comment on who might have been in town to tidy up an elderly relative's place, and I certainly can't comment on whether anyone in the neighbourhood might have been relying on a pretty substandard padlock on his garden shed that only took three sharp blows with a brick to break open.

 

Because I don't know anything about that stuff. What I do know is what happens when you take an old Lawn Boy to a back yard strewn with twenty years of garbage when up on five lines of Bolivian Horse Cocaine (because maybe dealing with this kind of stuff is a bit depressing, is all I'm saying. We're all getting old, just some of us get there first), and it ain't pretty.

 

So I think I join with all members of the Board in hoping that Burrito Boy wins the lottery, or maybe mugs a few people out in the back alley  so that he can afford a shiny new lawnmower. We're all praying for you, BB, and don't forget to take the photo ID as well as the money and cards! People will pay good money for that stuff, although you want to be careful about what you tell them about how you got it. (Word to the wise.) 

 

Certainly you can get a good Lawn Pro at a couple places around BB's place, I'm just saying, and, hypothetically, that could happen if you're not so wired that it turns out that you've forgotten your credit cards at the motel. Which could also happen! Who among us haven't gotten a bit wrecked, one way or another, at one time in our lives, and done something that, hypothetically, we might regret later?

 

Cancer. Cancer has. Cancer totally has. Just look at his shifty professor-eyes and tell me he hasn't!

 

So, when we ask ourselves about stolen lawn mowers, and who is really  on trial here, the answer is obvious. It's Cancer. Cancer's on trial here. I just can't believe all the stuff he's done. I just hope some day I'll find it in me to forgive him. Or in an envelope stuffed full of unmarked bills. That'd be a keen way to say, "I'm sorry," too.

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Don't we call it borrowing?

If he brings it back, I'll call it borrowing. If he doesn't, I'll call the cops. :D

 

Seriously, though, I now know Lawnmower Boy is innocent. That comment about a garden shed in his post proved to me that he's never been anywhere near my house. I don't even have a garden, let alone a garden shed.

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Here's something I wasn't expecting. This morning, two of my cats started fighting while I was asleep. They even chased each other on top of my bed, and one of them punctured my toe. The wound drew some blood. It was not a good way to wake up.

 

But it gets better. I fumbled around in the dark tonight and stubbed THE SAME TOE. One toe with a puncture wound and a bruise in less than 24 hours.

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