input.jack Posted June 12, 2009 Report Share Posted June 12, 2009 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... From the Embria Pathfinder game. ----------------- Rhiannon (Semi-OOC): Whats the difference between a Ranger and a Barbarian, again? Metrion (OOC): The Barbarian kills more people. The Ranger kills more animals. ------------- GM: Varga's "childhood friend" Tharber, a Barbarian nearly seven feet tall, clasps Metrion's hand firmly. You think you've taken a point of subdual damage. Metrion: *sotto voce* ....Jocks ------------- Tharber: Let me tell you about the Citadel of an Evil Cleric that we destroyed! He wasnt -in- it.... Metrion: So...you are a band of travelling stonemasons, then. Tharber: ------------- Metrion: *Eyeing Tharber's greataxe* You know what they say about people with enormous weapons...theyre "compensating" for something. Siyan the Elf: Hes not compensating. Metrion: I was talking about brains, my dear. Siyan: Well, there youve got him. ------------ GM: You see a stand of trees. Rhiannon (OOC): Cheese it! Its the copse! ------------- Chyra (OOC): Whats the Knowledge Skill for that? Metrion (OOC): Knowledge of My Butt Rhiannon (OOC): Would that be "Dungeoneering"? "Structural"?!? Metrion (OOC): Arcana! ------------ Rhiannon: *Chops a Ghoul in half* I thought Tharber said that they had killed everything in this stupid keep! The place is crawling with undead! Varga: *Chops two Ghouls in half cause shes the Barbarian* The only thing Tharber ever finishes is his beer Metrion: I feel sorry for his women. -------------- Rhiannon (OOC): If we're nice, maybe theyll guard our keep someday Metrion (OOC): I dont see why we have to be nice. Ill have Dominate Person by then. Chyra (OOC): Youre NOT supposed to do that. Metrion (OOC): Oh. Im sorry. Chyra (OOC): IM supposed to do that! ------------------ Rhiannon (OOC): Do the bodies look like they were adventurers? Like they were townsfolk? Chyra (OOC): I assumed that they look like guards. Unless they dont. Metrion (OOC): That was very nearly "zen"..... ----------- GM: The Zombie stand up. it only gets a Partial Action, and standing takes its move. Metrion (OOC): Thats why "Trip" is fabulous versus Zombies. Rhiannon (OOC): Especially if you do it while playing "Yakkitty Sax"! ---------------- (PS: I have artwork of the characters. Should I post it here?) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tim Posted June 12, 2009 Report Share Posted June 12, 2009 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... sure go ahead. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Egyptoid Posted June 12, 2009 Report Share Posted June 12, 2009 Middle Earth D20 Cast: Snake the Wizard Samuel the Barbarian Ranger Brame the Gondorian Knight William the Mannish Rogue =================================== the party is trudging through the Harad Desert, near the foothills of Mordor: William saw the "Coyotes of Unusual Size" ====================== Barbarian complained: Havent seen a tankard in 12 days William ========================= Leader: Come along men. The Men: Men, men, men manly men . . . ================================== Brame the Knight: As a Gondorian, I just seem to ooze charisma, nobility, friendliness and honor. Samuel the Barbarian: So did Saruman, you know. ====================================== We meet and parley with a multi-headed Draconic Guardian of Ephel Duath and we lived to tell about it. My barbarian is from the dragon tribes up north, and assumes his comrades back home will never believe this story. So he asks the Dracon to "autograph" a hide for him by punching his claw print onto it. ============================ Ranger gets Critical hit on the troll guard with an arrow, into the back of the head, and yells at the troll: "Perhaps your new tribe nickname will be unicorn" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teh bunneh Posted June 12, 2009 Report Share Posted June 12, 2009 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... (PS: I have artwork of the characters. Should I post it here?) I dunno. How big are their bewbz? j/k! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
input.jack Posted June 12, 2009 Report Share Posted June 12, 2009 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... I dunno. How big are their bewbz? Metrion's are quite reasonable Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mjolnir74 Posted June 12, 2009 Report Share Posted June 12, 2009 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Chyra (OOC): Whats the Knowledge Skill for that? Metrion (OOC): Knowledge of My Butt Rhiannon (OOC): Would that be "Dungeoneering"? "Structural"?!? Metrion (OOC): Arcana! Spelunking? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
input.jack Posted June 12, 2009 Report Share Posted June 12, 2009 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Pictures of the characters from the Embria campaign: Chyra, the Undead-aspected Sorceress, (bodycast as Skye Sweetnam) Metrion the Black, Wizard (bodycast as a young Ian McKellan) Lee Reighborn, Cleric of Pelor (bodycast as Christian Bale)(art by ProdigyDuck) Rhiannon, Half Elven Fighter-Rogue (bodycast as Hayden Panetierre) Tash, Half-Orc Ranger (bodycast as Rosario Dawson) Varga, Barbarienne (bodycast as Phoenix from American Gladiators) I hope this helps people picture the characters when you read their silly quotes Edit: Here is Rhiannon's new, heavier armor Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drhoz Posted June 13, 2009 Report Share Posted June 13, 2009 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Another oppurtunity to inflict my Hollywood Cthulhu adventure on somebody - Leecetheartist asked me to guest GM for her group, on the strength of what they've heard and read about my games As a bonus, it gave me the oppurtunity to run up some back-up PCs ( Tigris threw some together so credit to him ). Thus, I could happily designate some as 'Meat' and not leave the player with nothing to do. Also, I can throw in John Wayne as an NPC ( Trufax : Wayne was one of the extras that didn't get killed or crippled during the filming of Noah's Ark ) Me, GM : One of the changes Zanuck has insisted on for the refurbished Babylon set is as many ornamental ponds and fountains as you can fit in. You'll probably all go home with malaria, but it could be worse. You could be filming RKO's The Conquerer and all go home with radiation poisoning. Me, GM : That's just one of the things that's making this movie an unmitigated disaster - Curtiz at least wanted you to act. Zanuck wants so much ham it's probably just as well he's the only [1920s] producer who wasn't Jewish Me, GM : *On Zanuck's press releases* it would appear that on top of the captive zebras, okapi, elephants and dik-diks, he's also got a wild hyperbole Zanuck : Can you make their costumes more Fonickyian? Me, GM : Red-footed wamps thrive in ruins and places of corruption - I'm sure you'll agree that Hollywood qualifies as the latter Cameraman PC : I've got a starting SAN of 25??? Leece : Well, we told you not to snort developing fluid Regarding the very real movie I redid as a Mythos film Stuntman's Player : A Noah's Ark story with a parallel WWI plot?? What??? Me, GM : *nods* Apparently there's a burning bush scene as well. Don't ask me why, it made sense to Zanuck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Tom 2009 Posted June 13, 2009 Report Share Posted June 13, 2009 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Heh. I honestly can't recall what game this quote originated in, but it's become the tag line for at least one pulp hero in any of our games: "Women seem to have a problem with my face. They either want to punch it or kiss it. Sometimes both." Sounds more like something Captain Jack Sparrow would say...he certainly got more than his fair share of both in those flicks (). Major Tom 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DJ Blackrock Posted June 13, 2009 Report Share Posted June 13, 2009 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... From my Shadowrun game: For reference, players are: Hank "Venom" McNeil - Mechanic and pseudo-rigger, human Haru Tetanuga - Technomancer and man-whore, elf Mina "Red" - Cybered out gun-bunny go-ganger, human Thaddeus Lamont - Highly cyber and biowared out Street Samurai, Troll Carotis Lamont - Physical Adept elemental martial artist, Troll Diom "Die" Zanuff - Mystic Adept swordsman, Ork Susan - Wiccan med-mage, Dwarf Beldaran Corbin - Eagle Shaman Sniper, Elf Of this group, the only one with even a modicum of discretion is Beldaran. The group gets the job: Mr. Johnson: I need you to break into this Shiawase facility and swap this blood sample with one already on site. Hank: Sounds like a sneak type job. Mr. J: I'd prefer if no attention were called to this swap... Hank, Thaddeus and Carotis stand and leave Mr. J: ...preferably by drawing attention away from their medical facilites. Hank, Thaddeus and Carotis turn around Hank: That sounds like it could involve a boom. I'm back in! Mr. J: Uh... excellent? Planning: Hank: Well, I've still got about 20 pounds of commercial grade explosives, and we have that RV from the last mission... Susan: Could we maybe have a mission that doesn't involve some kind of explosion? rest of the group: ::blank stares:: Susan: Wrong crowd, sorry. Running Matrix interference: GM: Haru, you recognize that icon. Looks like their security hacker is the same guy from your first job, Frogger. Haru: Oh, that little **** I remember him. I'm gonna try to seal him off. GM: Opposed hacking check sweetcheeks. GM & Haru: ::roll lots of dice, Haru crits, Frogger scores a critical glitch (botch but worse for those not familiar with SR4) GM: Hmm. Okay, you manage to seal Frogger off, he's sitting there happily unaware of everything going on around him. Haru: Good, and as soon as he tries another scan, I'm gonna flood him with Gay Porn. GM (quasi-OOC): It's always Gay Porn with you, isn't it? Haru: ::quietly:: not always... Haru hacks the security chief's PAN (Personal Area Network): GM: Okay, your in. Two seperate rolls, one to shut off his gun, and the other to switch off his goggles. Haru: ::makes both rolls nicely:: Security Chief: ::fails firewall roll for gun, crit-glitches roll for goggles:: Haru: A crit-glitch? ::smiles evilly:: GM: Porn? Haru: Lots of it. As gay as it gets. GM: *sigh* On being a good guy: Beldaran: Okay, after the explosion, I sneak into the facility. GM: Okay, the rather unfortunate guard who saw the explosives in the first place is lying on the ground near the door you need to get through. His right leg is ruined, and at least half his face is hanging off the chain-link fence on the far side of the property. He seems to be in considerable pain, and he reaches out to you. Beldaran: I shake him off and continue what I was doing. Haru (OOC): You just lost Karma! GM (OOC): This is not Fallout! Beldaran has a harrowing experience with a blood drinking THING in the med-facility: Beldaran: V-V-Vampire! Rest of group: ::scoffs, laughs or skeptical:: Beldaran: Oh come on! I'm a gawddamned elf! I cast spells! ::points at Thaddeus:: Hell, just look at him! Vampires aren't beyond the scope of possibilities here! Thaddeus: Hey! Haru plays video games with a novacoke addict: Haru: I disconnect his controller. GM: The game continues playing. It's catching up with what he pressed. He's his own personal turbo button! Haru (OOC): ::imitating the Boondocks:: HE CHEATED PLAYSTATION! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klytus Posted June 13, 2009 Report Share Posted June 13, 2009 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... But you did post a link. I saw it. I watched it in your post. Did you change your mind and remove it or am I going mad? I wasn't trying to post a direct link to the vid, only the web-page. So once I saw the embedded video, I changed it. The link was only posted for like less than a minute, though. Your timing must have been perfect. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlackCobra Posted June 14, 2009 Report Share Posted June 14, 2009 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Big fight. Hero whacks the villain with a table from the restaurant: "Your table is ready, sir!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drhoz Posted June 14, 2009 Report Share Posted June 14, 2009 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Big fight. Hero whacks the villain with a table from the restaurant: "Your table is ready, sir!" but did he have a reservation? Apart from strong reservations about being brained with a table, presumably Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve Posted June 14, 2009 Report Share Posted June 14, 2009 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Our gaming group is doing a Kazei Five playtest of the new rules, so this week's session was a focus on powered armor and cyborgs. The group was composed of the following SWAT officers: Sgt. Drake Nickels – combat cyborg Officer Jack Murphy – combat cyborg Officer Tyrone "Stubby" Washington – powered armor Officer Leonard “Twinkletoes” Morgan – powered armor Officer Felicia “Overkill” Artemis – an experimental model Puma Twinkletoes earned his name by managing to not fail a single stealth roll while wearing 200 pounds of powered armor. I can't remember exactly how the other callsigns were earned. "NYPD Inc - To protect and serve our shareholders." "In my experience, there’s just a fine line between interrogation and seduction." "We're at Mook factor five." "Mecha ballet is something to see." (After Morgan made his third stealth roll in a row.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jtelson Posted June 14, 2009 Report Share Posted June 14, 2009 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Big fight. Hero whacks the villain with a table from the restaurant: "Your table is ready, sir!" Among that villian's bag of tricks was being able to arrange furniture such that the Feng Shui of a room would kill the next person who entered which then prompted a handful of comments after his defeat by table... "You overcame him with the power of artfully placed furniture" "See I can teach you a thing or two about Feng Shui!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Tom 2009 Posted June 15, 2009 Report Share Posted June 15, 2009 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Among that villian's bag of tricks was being able to arrange furniture such that the Feng Shui of a room would kill the next person who entered which then prompted a handful of comments after his defeat by table... "You overcame him with the power of artfully placed furniture" "See I can teach you a thing or two about Feng Shui!" Which will doubtless lead to the inclusion of the following subject in the curriculum of the local super-school: Interior Decorating from Hell 101. Major Tom 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Tom 2009 Posted June 15, 2009 Report Share Posted June 15, 2009 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Pictures of the characters from the Embria campaign: Chyra, the Undead-aspected Sorceress, (bodycast as Skye Sweetnam) Metrion the Black, Wizard (bodycast as a young Ian McKellan) Lee Reighborn, Cleric of Pelor (bodycast as Christian Bale)(art by ProdigyDuck) Rhiannon, Half Elven Fighter-Rogue (bodycast as Hayden Panetierre) Tash, Half-Orc Ranger (bodycast as Rosario Dawson) Varga, Barbarienne (bodycast as Phoenix from American Gladiators) I hope this helps people picture the characters when you read their silly quotes The scary thing is, I can quite easily picture Rosario Dawson as a half-orc female -- especially after all the years she spent with a lobster on her head in Star Trek: Voyager. Major Tom 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Celt Posted June 15, 2009 Report Share Posted June 15, 2009 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... The scary thing is, I can quite easily picture Rosario Dawson as a half-orc female -- especially after all the years she spent with a lobster on her head in Star Trek: Voyager. Major Tom 2009 Except The ST:V actress would be Roxann Dawson. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Tom 2009 Posted June 15, 2009 Report Share Posted June 15, 2009 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Except The ST:V actress would be Roxann Dawson. Oops. My bad. Major Tom 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Balabanto Posted June 15, 2009 Report Share Posted June 15, 2009 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... A D+D Game set in the Forgotten Realms Land of Impiltur. The characters are Warsword Thund: Sacred Fist of Torm Katervali Chernosk: Paladin/Ranger of Illmater Vimak, Mercenary Goliath Reincarnated as a Lizard Man: Ranger Amaril: Drow Prisoner Druid. They encounter a Cloud Giant, who surrenders after they beat up his hill giant ally, while looking for an evil Storm Giant named Roaknir. Thund: So you have surrendered. Giant: Yes. Thund: Is there any particular reason you didn't fight to the death. Giant: I have fulfilled my obligation. Roaknir is a filthy swine. It is Maug of me to serve him without obligations to others. The PC's work out an arrangement with the Giant so that he will guard them while they sleep. The next day, they assault Roaknir's throne room, kill him, and enter his quarters. His wife ambushes them from invisibility, almost kills all of them, and then when they finally get her on the ropes, she surrenders too. Giantess: I surrender! I just had to make a good showing so I didn't shame Stronmaus! Thund: I accept your surrender. Giantesss: He was a filthy swine. I only wish to take what is mine by right and leave. He was disgusting. I am happy he is dead! Vimak: She's leaving? With some of the treasure? Katervali: Apparently Roaknir did not treat her with any form of respect. (Wincing, has six hit points) She should get to leave with what she is legally entitled to. Besides, she's not evil. Amaril OOC: I heal the Giantess on the way out. Her life sounds a lot like mine used to be. Thund: Didn't ANYONE serve this man out of real loyalty? Everyone only served him out of obligation! He must have been the biggest scum on Toril! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hermit Posted June 15, 2009 Report Share Posted June 15, 2009 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... "Nonsense, every green haired guy knows that 'once you go surface side, they'll never keep you in the tide'"-Aquatic, assuring his romantic interest that she has it all over Atlantean girls Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shadow Hawk Posted June 15, 2009 Report Share Posted June 15, 2009 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Back once more with DnD 4th edition. Ciaphas, Human Fighter* Jett, Gensai Swordmage* Aleric, Human Pladin of Torm Atolucos, Half Elf Rogue Silver, Elven Ranger/Cleric of Pelor* Rangrin, Human Artificer Torm, Dragonborn Cleric of Kord Baron Shadowdeath, Eladrin Wizard Justin Tine, Human Fighter* Scrag, 1/2 Orc Barbarian Jett: I knocked up the table. Torm: "Knocked Up"? Bartender: Now, I will have two tables! Atolucos: Not Dying is the secret of life. Atolucos: I'm someone who knows people. Torm: But only in the Biblical sense. Aleric: We hire a bunch of mooks, send them in first, then finish off the survivors. Atolucos: The Paladin is wise. NPC Florist: Dragons eat my flowers, I hide under the table. Ciaphas: Because dragons can't fight tables. Torm: Especially pregnant tables. GM asks "What rituals do you know?" Aleric: Summon Pizza. Ciaphas: I'm hungry, cast it now. Aleric: It takes 8 hours. Jett: What's the plan? Aleric: Kick in the door and kill everyone. Jett: Do we have another plan? Ciaphas: We take 20,000 hamsters... Torm: We'll stick with plan one. Atolucos: You act like I wouldn't warn you about traps. Aleric: Yes. Aleric: We kick in the door and yell our battle cry: "Avon Calling!" Ciaphas: Whatever, combat, kill. Torm: Emo combat monster. GM: The monk attacks Aleric with a flurry of blows, hitting twice. Torm: Immediate interupt, shielding word, +4 to Alerics armor class. GM: OK, the monk only hits once. Baron S: Immediate interupt, I teleport Aleric out of the way. GM: OK, the monk doesn't hit. Jett: Immediate interupt, I stab the mon. Torm: Not his day, is it? Baron S, pointing at figures on map... "If you move there, you can flank him." Justin: That's Ciaphas, he's on our side. Baron S: But you get a bonus to hit. Torm is under a mind control... "Do I get xp for slaying the party?" GM: Will a 36 hit your reflex? Torm: Notify my next of kin. *For the record, Ciaphas and Jett completed their 'personal quests' and left the party. Scrag the 1/2 orc is Jett's replacement character. Ciaphas isn't sure he's coming back. Silver was slain in combat, his body eaten and can't be raised. He hasn't set up a new character yet. Justin is a new player, and may not be staying. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Manic Typist Posted June 16, 2009 Report Share Posted June 16, 2009 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... "Nonsense' date=' every green haired guy knows that 'once you go surface side, they'll never keep you in the tide'"-Aquatic, assuring his romantic interest that she has it all over Atlantean girls [/quote'] ....wait, I think I read some of your campaign logs on HeroCentral. Aren't Atlanteans nudist and generally more... free... with their bodies, and amused by the "prudish" social mores of land dwellers? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
input.jack Posted June 16, 2009 Report Share Posted June 16, 2009 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... From the Hawk Knights game (Note: The guy playing Hakkar is the same guy that played Troubleshooter in the Freedom League game) ------------------------------------ Hakkar: *delerious with drink, no where near a relative* No mom...I wasnt so drunk that I didnt know she was my sister...I was just drunk enough to not care! *passes out* -------------------- Hakkar: Ugh...I think I vomitted up my gizzard this morning. Talik: You have a gizzard?!? Hakkar: ...Not any more. ---------------- Talik: So, how long until we get taken to this job offer and/or Human Sacrifice? Hakkar (OOC): Your HR department is rough! Talik (OOC): Cake or Death! ------------------ Hakkar (OOC): My character has his conditions confused. He was "Sickened"; he thought he was "Dying"! -------------- Talik, Hakkar, and Zalan bust into Vaenor the Scorpion God(ling)'s quarters and kill half his men Vaenor: Fools! You have squandered the position I was going to offer you in my army! Talik: Are you kidding? This is our audition! --------------- Hakkar: The symbol! The symbol in Vaenor's chitin! Tear it out its controlling the sorcoress! Talik: In his what?!? Hakkar: His chitin! His chi-...His SHELL! Talik: Why do you know "chitin" and I dont? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Basil Posted June 17, 2009 Report Share Posted June 17, 2009 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Thank you Reverand Dodgeson. BTW, just read the original books (Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass). *Much* better than any movie version (not least because they include so much of Lewis Carroll's poetry) Suggestion: read "The Hunting of the Snark". Also, Martin Gardner's "Annotated Alice". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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