Logan D. Hurricanes Posted March 4, 2022 Report Share Posted March 4, 2022 A truck carrying toupees crashed on the highway, spilling everything. Police are combing the area. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted March 4, 2022 Report Share Posted March 4, 2022 That's a big hairy mess. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted March 4, 2022 Report Share Posted March 4, 2022 These jokes are terrible. I'll have no part in this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted March 4, 2022 Report Share Posted March 4, 2022 Surely you can brush it all to one side? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted March 4, 2022 Report Share Posted March 4, 2022 Now cut that out! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
archer Posted March 4, 2022 Report Share Posted March 4, 2022 11 hours ago, Tjack said: I was in the process of composing a witty response when I decided to forget it and just tell you to ki$$ my entire butt.💋 Frankly, I was kinda hoping you were a song writer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
archer Posted March 4, 2022 Report Share Posted March 4, 2022 Say what you want about Hitler... but at least the guy killed Hitler. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted March 5, 2022 Report Share Posted March 5, 2022 There should be confetti in tires so when there is a blow-out it's still kind of an okay day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted March 5, 2022 Report Share Posted March 5, 2022 I was having problems with my work computer, so I called my IT guy, and he was like, "You really need to stop calling me when I'm at school, Dad." Ockham's Spoon, wcw43921 and Pariah 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted March 5, 2022 Report Share Posted March 5, 2022 Two mathematicians.walked into a bar graph. They both wound up flat on their axes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted March 5, 2022 Report Share Posted March 5, 2022 "So, tell me what you know about the Fourier Series." "Nothing. I haven't seen it. Is it on Netflix or Amazon Prime?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted March 5, 2022 Report Share Posted March 5, 2022 Looks like I'd better post the link to this one again. Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted March 5, 2022 Report Share Posted March 5, 2022 15 minutes ago, Pariah said: "So, tell me what you know about the Fourier Series." "Nothing. I haven't seen it. Is it on Netflix or Amazon Prime?" i thought it was the new Stargate series? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
archer Posted March 6, 2022 Report Share Posted March 6, 2022 President Putin and his driver were on their way to Kyiv in a car when all of a sudden they hit a pig near a farmhouse, killing it instantly. Putin told his driver to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what had happened. About one hour later Putin sees his driver staggering back to the car with a bottle of Horilka (Ukrainian vodka) in one hand, and a cigar in the other. "What happened to you?" asked Putin. "Well, the farmer gave me the Horilka, his wife gave me a box of cigars, and his daughters gave me their favors." "My God, what did you tell them?" asks Putin. The driver replies, "I'm president Putin’s driver, and I just killed the pig." Tjack 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
archer Posted March 6, 2022 Report Share Posted March 6, 2022 How can the U.S. military take something as harmless as a sock and make it feel like tar paper covered in shards of broken glass after the first time you wash it? It’s one of life’s great mysteries.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted March 7, 2022 Report Share Posted March 7, 2022 There are two hard things in computer science 1) cache invalidation 2) naming things 3) off-by-one errors. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
archer Posted March 7, 2022 Report Share Posted March 7, 2022 To teach my kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked pizza. Then I made tacos because they don't live in a swing state. Pariah and Ockham's Spoon 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
archer Posted March 7, 2022 Report Share Posted March 7, 2022 < at Dumbledore's grave > Voldemort: "What's up YouTube? Time for another unboxing video!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
archer Posted March 7, 2022 Report Share Posted March 7, 2022 Every dead body on Mt. Everest was once a highly motivated person. So learn to calm down. Tjack 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
archer Posted March 7, 2022 Report Share Posted March 7, 2022 Other people may reject you. But if you lie on the forest floor long enough, the moss and fungus will accept you as one of their own. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ockham's Spoon Posted March 7, 2022 Report Share Posted March 7, 2022 I was surprised when my neighbor got arrested for growing marijuana. Guess my property line isn't where I thought it was. slikmar 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
archer Posted March 7, 2022 Report Share Posted March 7, 2022 A man in Moscow buys a newspaper glances at the front page; and tosses it away. He does the same thing every day for a week. Finally the shop owner inquires: “Why do you do that?!” The man replies: “I’m just checking for an obituary.” “But obituaries aren’t on the front page!” “The one I’m looking for will be….” wcw43921 and Pariah 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ockham's Spoon Posted March 8, 2022 Report Share Posted March 8, 2022 At the safety meeting we had at work, they asked me "What steps would you take in the event of a fire?" "F***ing big ones!" was the wrong answer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted March 8, 2022 Report Share Posted March 8, 2022 I never finish anything. I have a black belt in Partial Arts. tkdguy and Christougher 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted March 8, 2022 Report Share Posted March 8, 2022 9 hours ago, archer said: A man in Moscow buys a newspaper glances at the front page; and tosses it away. He does the same thing every day for a week. Finally the shop owner inquires: “Why do you do that?!” The man replies: “I’m just checking for an obituary.” “But obituaries aren’t on the front page!” “The one I’m looking for will be….” I really wish it were possible to Like this five or six times. wcw43921 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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