Logan D. Hurricanes Posted February 21, 2022 Report Share Posted February 21, 2022 Haiku are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator ✍️ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
L. Marcus Posted February 21, 2022 Report Share Posted February 21, 2022 You forgot the seasonal marker. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted February 21, 2022 Report Share Posted February 21, 2022 Mustard. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattingly Posted February 21, 2022 Report Share Posted February 21, 2022 On 2/19/2022 at 10:21 PM, Bazza said: Lucky the teacher didn’t do a mic drop at the end. Don't invite them to the morgue for Open Mike night. 18 hours ago, archer said: When I went out for supper, I asked the waiter if he knew how they prepared their chickens. He said "Nothing special, we just tell them they're going to die." At a Chinese restaurant, the chicken was really hard to chew. I told the waiter, "This chicken is rubbery." He said, "Thank you velly much." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted February 22, 2022 Report Share Posted February 22, 2022 It's been months since I bought the book "How to Scam People Online." It still hasn't arrived yet. Ockham's Spoon 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted February 22, 2022 Report Share Posted February 22, 2022 Me: The kids haven't eaten their sandwiches. Wife: Ok, just throw them out. [Later] Me *helping the kids pack a suitcase* Look, I'm as surprised as you are. Hermit and Cancer 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted February 22, 2022 Report Share Posted February 22, 2022 That depends on how old the kids are, doesn't it? I mean, my youngest is 25, and they're both still at home.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted February 22, 2022 Report Share Posted February 22, 2022 Why are snails bad at racing? They’re sluggish. DID you hear the rumour about butter? Well, I’m not going to go spreading it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted February 22, 2022 Report Share Posted February 22, 2022 Why was the phone wearing glasses? It lost its contacts. WhaT do you get when you cross a phone with a golden retriever? A golden receiver. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ockham's Spoon Posted February 23, 2022 Report Share Posted February 23, 2022 I have got to stop saying "How stupid can you be?" I'm beginning to think people are taking it as a challenge. wcw43921 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted February 23, 2022 Report Share Posted February 23, 2022 Well, the mental asylum inmates are loose. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tjack Posted February 23, 2022 Report Share Posted February 23, 2022 12 minutes ago, Bazza said: Well, the mental asylum inmates are loose. When exactly did you think we weren’t? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted February 23, 2022 Report Share Posted February 23, 2022 WHERE do math teachers go on vacation? Times Square. WHAT do Santa’s elves learn in school? The elf-abet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted February 23, 2022 Report Share Posted February 23, 2022 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted February 23, 2022 Report Share Posted February 23, 2022 Sometime around May 13th, 180,264 AD, by my calculations. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted February 23, 2022 Report Share Posted February 23, 2022 I better get packed! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted February 23, 2022 Report Share Posted February 23, 2022 My desire to be well informed is currently at odds with my desire to remain sane. Wait, that's not a joke. Pariah and Tjack 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted February 23, 2022 Report Share Posted February 23, 2022 Why did the man fall down the well? Because he didn’t see that well! I have a fear of speed bumps. I’m slowly getting over it. wcw43921 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
archer Posted February 23, 2022 Report Share Posted February 23, 2022 People who cheat on their taxes disgust me. This is not the kind of world I want to raise my 23 dependents in. Pariah and death tribble 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
archer Posted February 23, 2022 Report Share Posted February 23, 2022 A old man as a pet mongoose who gives birth. Deciding he can't look after the mongoose and the pup he decides to donate them to the zoo and writes a letter to explain. Dear zoo, I would like to donate two mongooses mongeeses mongi . . . Dear zoo, I would like to donate one mongoose. PS here is another. Ockham's Spoon and death tribble 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
archer Posted February 23, 2022 Report Share Posted February 23, 2022 The police came to my house tonight holding a picture of my wife. They said, "Is this your wife, sir?" Shocked, I answered, "Yes." They said, "I'm afraid it looks like she's been hit by a bus." I said, "I know, but she has a lovely personality." Logan D. Hurricanes 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
archer Posted February 23, 2022 Report Share Posted February 23, 2022 If you play Nicki Minaj songs backwards you can hear satanic messages... even worse, if you play them forwards you can hear Nicki Minaj. mattingly 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
archer Posted February 23, 2022 Report Share Posted February 23, 2022 Border guard asks the passenger: -Nationality? Russian -occupation? No, just a visit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
archer Posted February 23, 2022 Report Share Posted February 23, 2022 An ego and a superego walk into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll have to see some id." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
archer Posted February 23, 2022 Report Share Posted February 23, 2022 A guy walks into bar, orders a beer and lets out a heavy sigh. "What's wrong, Bob?" the bartender asks. "Oh nothing really," Bob replies. "I guess I'm just not myself today." "Yes," the bartender agreed. "I noticed the improvement immediately." Tjack 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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