The Super Darwin Awards

[bigdamnhero]

Re: The Super Darwin Awards

 

Two stories come to mind. First, in a heroic cyberpunk-esque game, one PC thought the way to avert an imminent street-gang war was to walk out between the two warring parties -- at night -- calling "Here Doggie Doggie! Has anyone seen my dog?!"

 

Second, in a Champions game I ran at a convention last year, the heroes have journeyed to Faerie to stop the evil god Set. Reaching Set's temple, they find several dozen minions chanting and spell-casting around a large ceremonial pool. The player deduce (correctly) that Set is meditating at the bottom of the pool. Upon which one player pipes up with: "I pee in Set's pool!!"

The player in question was pretty young, and the other players were unable to talk him out of it. So rather than, um, rain on the kid's parade, we collectively managed to contrive a way that allowed him to do so without Set waking up and atomizing everyone. So saved by GM's mercy.

 

Edit: Made the kid's whole con, BTW - he spent the rest of the weekend telling people "I totally peed in Set's pool!!"

[Stone]

Re: The Super Darwin Awards

 

I apologize to those offended by my statement of Rolemaster. I personally prefer more cinematic games, with less in the way of complications that get in the way of a good game.

 

If it is any consolation, I found HARP (a simplified version of RM) to be a much better game, actually consolidating some of the modifiers (though the fact that virtually every action is either nearly impossible or horrifically modified still gets to me.)

 

No offense taken. We each have our likes and dislikes.

[Steve]

Re: The Super Darwin Awards

 

I apologize to those offended by my statement of Rolemaster. I personally prefer more cinematic games, with less in the way of complications that get in the way of a good game.

 

If it is any consolation, I found HARP (a simplified version of RM) to be a much better game, actually consolidating some of the modifiers (though the fact that virtually every action is either nearly impossible or horrifically modified still gets to me.)

 

The critical charts in Rolemaster/Spacemaster have given me as GM some quite vivid memories of character deaths. Not in the realm of Darwin Awards, but I remember once seeing a five foot tall female PC using Sweeps and Throws skill and pretty much shatter a man's innards by rolling well on a crit.

[casualplayer]

Re: The Super Darwin Awards

 

The critical charts in Rolemaster/Spacemaster have given me as GM some quite vivid memories of character deaths. Not in the realm of Darwin Awards' date=' but I remember once seeing a five foot tall female PC using Sweeps and Throws skill and pretty much shatter a man's innards by rolling well on a crit.[/quote']

 

Sure, against unarmored foes you use strikes but against armored ones you use throws in RM. Even a bad Throw crit roll is enough to stun someone in full plate long enough for the rest of the party to finish them off. My Orc Loremaster, Shaitan, used to dominate the game with those simple tactics. Goofy game system, but the MERPs suppliments were so friggin' awesome!

[Cinniuint]

Re: The Super Darwin Awards

 

I had a character in D&D who was a cleric of chaos as in randomness. His weapon of choice was Wand of Wonder. I also have a copper wand I picked up at a con somewhere, which I have occasionally used as a game prop. Being attacked by giant bees, I grab up my wand and my character calls out "Do!" (the command word). I then realize that I have the silly thing in reverse. I get a fireball, and the DM adds extra damage for point blank. We were indoors, so the fireball filled the room and took out the bees, and the party. No Darwin award though, My character made his save and was the only one standing.

 

Speaking of Rolemaster, (which we always called Chartlaw) poor Kraeco in The Rolemaster Companion earned a Darwin award when he met the Black Reaver....click,click,click.

 

I did lose a RM character to another characters stupidity once. I don't think they died, but if they did, they sure earned the award. The characters were dropped into a Spacemaster universe and given some tech equipment. The archer got a number of blast grenades and was told they had a 50 meter blast radius, neither character nor player new what a meter was and didn't ask. The character used the grenade inside a hallway in a base on an airless moon at a range of 3 to 4 meters. E100 crit. nothing but dust remains....

 

The rest of the characters had to deal with explosive decompression.

[Great Beyond]

Re: The Super Darwin Awards

 

Oh, pitty poor danny - he had the amazing talent of getting killed once a week. It wasnt that he had a deathwish or anything, just that he had a complete inability to not die.

 

This wasnt a Hero game, but a WEG Star Wars game from back in college. I was running a space combat where one of the Imperial Spacetrooper carriers (a ship with tons of airlocks, each deploying basicly a small mecha), and somehow he had snuck from our smuggler's ship over to the Imperial ship (deserted because the Spacetroopers were all out in combat). As he sneaks about, he finds one of the airlocks (currently empt and open to space) and gets the brilliant idea to open the door.

 

I'm like - "are you sure you want to do that. It looks kind of air-locky".

 

"Oh yeah, there's probably something good on the other side!" And starts rolling to unlock the door. Of course there are all kinds of saftey failsafes in place to keep the door shut. "Sorry, door doesnt open"

 

"Wow! There must be something REALLY good on the other side!" he said, attacking the lock with vigor. (Said with total seriousness, mind you).

 

I kept going "no, there's a BIG RED WARNING LIGHT on the door", but that didnt deter him as he kept at the lock. Finally, I just said "Fine - you open the door. There's quite literarly nothing on the other side" as he gets blown out into space.

 

Other notable deaths: sticking his face into a xenomorphic face hugger egg, forcing himself onto the female republic marine liaison (her good friend the wookiee ripped out his spine for doing that), opening the vat of toxic waste and fishing around for his blaster that had fallen in, and jumping out of a perfectly working airspeeder (thinking that the rest of the team would come save him. They didnt).

 

Poor guy went through at least 20 characters in 25 weeks.

[Balabanto]

Re: The Super Darwin Awards

 

Mephron has informed me that I need to tell this D+D story too, mainly because it deals with messing with a creature of effectively cosmic power.

 

The PC's are trying to discover information about their enemy, a Marilith Demon named Sefnu.

 

So one of the PC's gets the cocky idea of hiring a wizard to summon a pit fiend. The wizard, being evil, still asks the rogue Lorynar if he's crazy. Lorynar says "Sure! Let's do this."

 

So the NPC wizard summons a Pit Fiend, which can grant the wishes of others, among it's other abilities. The Pit Fiend arrives. He is extremely unhappy.

 

A series of questions and answers ensues, which finally leads to the question on the part of Lorynar. "So is your magic more powerful than the magic of the demons?"

 

The Pit Fiend, being arrogant and trapped in the magical circle, said "Of course. My magic is the mightiest in the multiverse."

 

Lorynar responded with "Don't be ridiculous. We've fought archmagi and liches and other sundry creatures. How can your magic possibly be the most powerful?"

 

The Pit Fiend said "Would you like to see some pit fiend magic?"

 

Lorynar said "Why not? Go ahead."

 

So the Pit Fiend granted Lorynar's wish. Lorynar was transformed into a pit fiend under the control of the pit fiend in the magic circle, did not make his saving throw, and permanently became a pit fiend. Lorynar had to give me his character sheet.

 

As a side note, the NPC wizard who Lorynar hired to summon the pit fiend did not have a second spell of binding memorized, lost initiative, and died screaming...

[Logan D. Hurricanes]

Re: The Super Darwin Awards

 

...opening the vat of toxic waste and fishing around for his blaster that had fallen in...

This is simply a great image

[FenrisUlf]

Re: The Super Darwin Awards

 

Other notable deaths: forcing himself onto the female republic marine liaison (her good friend the wookiee ripped out his spine for doing that)

 

He deserved it that time. (And really, assaulting a woman/female character while she's got a wookiee standing guard? Gee, kids, stupid much?)

 

The Pit Fiend said "Would you like to see some pit fiend magic?"

 

Lorynar said "Why not? Go ahead."

 

If I'd been there, I'd have been screaming "RUN! RUN!" at about that moment...

[Great Beyond]

Re: The Super Darwin Awards

 

He deserved it that time. (And really' date=' assaulting a woman/female character while she's got a [i']wookiee[/i] standing guard? Gee, kids, stupid much?)

 

Yeah, that one was not one of his brighter moments. (And frankly if the Wookiee hadn't gotten him, everyone else in the crew would have jumped him seconds later. It would have looked like that scene out of Airplane! where they're trying to calm the hysterical woman, and the camera pans back to the long line of people with boxing gloves, bats, lead pipes, all waiting patiently to deliver some beat down)

[jkwleisemann]

Re: The Super Darwin Awards

 

Poor guy went through at least 20 characters in 25 weeks.

Are you sure he just *really* didn't want to be playing Star Wars?

 

I mean... there's no other justification for that sort of stupidity....

[pinecone]

Re: The Super Darwin Awards

 

Two stories come to mind. First' date=' in a heroic cyberpunk-esque game, one PC thought the way to avert an imminent street-gang war was to walk out between the two warring parties -- at night -- calling [i']"Here Doggie Doggie! Has anyone seen my dog?!"[/i]

 

Second, in a Champions game I ran at a convention last year, the heroes have journeyed to Faerie to stop the evil god Set. Reaching Set's temple, they find several dozen minions chanting and spell-casting around a large ceremonial pool. The player deduce (correctly) that Set is meditating at the bottom of the pool. Upon which one player pipes up with: "I pee in Set's pool!!"

The player in question was pretty young, and the other players were unable to talk him out of it. So rather than, um, rain on the kid's parade, we collectively managed to contrive a way that allowed him to do so without Set waking up and atomizing everyone. So saved by GM's mercy.

 

Edit: Made the kid's whole con, BTW - he spent the rest of the weekend telling people "I totally peed in Set's pool!!"

Dude where can I buy the Tee shirt!?

[BoloOfEarth]

Re: The Super Darwin Awards

 

Two occasions come to mind.

 

One, a Fantasy Hero game I ran, may not count, as the dice played a big part, but I think the PC's arrogance had something to do with the outcome. The fighter, wearing full plate armor, is wading across a stream when the party is attacked. He rushes forward, into the middle of the stream (just above waist deep), and faces off against the toughest looking opponent.

 

"Go ahead," the PC says. "Give me your best shot."

 

I rolled a critical hit to the head. He wasn't killed, but he was KO'd, so he went down like a sack of cement... underwater, in full plate.

 

- - - - - - - - - -

 

The second one I didn't witness, but a friend told me. Cyberpunk game, and the team is breaking into a fenced complex with nasty-looking guard dogs patrolling. One guy, doing recon, is camoflaged and well-hidden in some bushes, using his starlight scope with ultrasonic rangefinder.

 

GM: "Okay, you see two dogs. They look right at you."

PC: "WTF? I have great cover, full camo... they shouldn't see me."

GM: "They're looking RIGHT AT YOU, and starting to growl. Are you still watching them through the scope?"

PC: "Of course. What are they doing now?"

GM: "They're barking and trying to climb the fence. You still looking through the scope? The one with the ultrasonic rangefinder?" (He should have added, "hint, hint")

PC: "Yes! How the heck can they see me?! Aren't they pretty far away?"

GM: "According to your ULTRASONIC rangefinder, they're 100 yards away. Now, they're foaming at the mouth and biting their way through the fence with hydraulic cyber-jaws."

 

Needless to say, the dogs ran him to ground and IIRC bit through one of his arms or legs before he could put them down.

[Drhoz]

Re: The Super Darwin Awards

 

GM: "According to your ULTRASONIC rangefinder, they're 100 yards away. Now, they're foaming at the mouth and biting their way through the fence with hydraulic cyber-jaws."

 

hehhehheh

[Karmakaze]

Re: The Super Darwin Awards

 

This doesn't quite qualify as a Darwin Award, since the only death was a NPC villain, but...

 

Trakwave's previous superteam had all been killed. In her application, she hadn't mentioned that this was because a villain had murdered them all. She also didn't mention after joining the team that said villain had been stalking her and leaving threatening messages. She just told us she didn't feel like going on a mission with us. Naturally, the villain (teamed with another villain) attacked, nearly killing the out-of-power-armor teammate before laying into Trakwave. The rest of the team made it back after hearing the alarm barely in time, but the base was trashed, and a PC with CvK wound up having to kill one of the villains to save her.

 

I was playing Dragonfly, the team leader, who was normally so laid back it actually said "laid back" on her character sheet. Still, having a trashed base and a good friend huddled, traumatized, on the couch (from violating the CvK) and another good friend nearly beaten to death, she was a little upset. She then braced Trakwave to find out that (a) Trakwave's previous team had been killed by this villan (which she never mentioned), ( said villain had been leaving messages for Trakwave warning her of the impending attack (which she never mentioned), © she'd recognized the villains M.O. in one of the crimes we were investigating (which she never mentioned) and knew his powerset (which she never mentioned) and (d) Trakwave was packing a bag and had been planning to slip out without telling anyone so she could mope in private. Her excuse was "it was too horrible to talk about". I really tried to find a reason not to kick Trakwave from the team, but when she said "Well, maybe I should just leave for good, then," even laid-back Dragonfly couldn't help but agree.

 

Trakwave came back later and asked to re-join, and Dragonfly agreed to talk it out. "I can consider bringing you back," I told her, "but I have two main concerns. One, you don't seem willing to trust your teammates and two, when you have concerns, you go behind my back instead of talking to me." At this point Trakwave turned to another PC and said, in Japanese (which Dragonfly did not speak), about a third PC "I still don't trust that guy."

 

Trakwave was... not rehired.

[gmurie]

Re: The Super Darwin Awards

 

I once was running a Cyberpunk game where the PCs had a psycho killer pinned in a five story warehouse. The players split up (!) and of course the psycho killer got one of the characters from group A on the fourth floor and ran for the stairs. The two solos that were left of group A chased him down the stairs and alerted group B who were on the second floor.

 

Sayeth one of the characters from group A over radio link, "We've got him in the stairs, we're going to pin him between us."

 

The psycho killer slips out at the third floor and the two clowns on the fourth floor throw a bunch of grenades down after him. Just as group B is coming up from the second floor. BOOM! And then there were two....

[sinanju]

Re: The Super Darwin Awards

 

The Pit Fiend said "Would you like to see some pit fiend magic?"

 

Lorynar said "Why not? Go ahead."

 

So the Pit Fiend granted Lorynar's wish. Lorynar was transformed into a pit fiend under the control of the pit fiend in the magic circle, did not make his saving throw, and permanently became a pit fiend. Lorynar had to give me his character sheet.

 

As a side note, the NPC wizard who Lorynar hired to summon the pit fiend did not have a second spell of binding memorized, lost initiative, and died screaming...

 

Once, lo these many years ago now, I was playing in Steamteck's fantasy game. It was Halloween night, the night whan all sorts of supernatural creatures roamed the world. We, the players, were holed in a building for the night; as long as we stayed within it's walls, we were fairly safe.

 

One of the creatures of the night was, uh, some powerful demonic entity whose name I've forgotten--and his hell hound companion. Said demon and hell hound sniffed around and taunted us for not coming out.

 

Eventually one of the players had his character stand in the doorway of the building and say, "Here, doggy doggy doggy!" to demonstrate (I assume) that he was not intimidated.

 

Well, maybe HE wasn't. I sure as heck was. And so was Steamteck's wife. Our characters immediately bailed out of the building and ran for shelter elsewhere. Fortunately, Steamteck was merciful; by rights that invitation negated the protection of the building and the offending player (and us) would have--and could have--been torn to pieces.

[Pariah]

Re: The Super Darwin Awards

 

I probably get an Honorable Mention for this one:

 

My namesake, Pariah (brick with a magic pool) is fighting all sorts of temporally anomalous things with his teammates, when all of a sudden Thor shows up. Yes, son of Odin, that Thor. And he's acting cranky. Since Pariah's one of the main combat monsters on the team, he goes off to face Thor one on one, figuring he's most likely to survive the encounter. And to increase his chances, he casts one of his favorite combat spells, "Stature of the Mountain", which makes him bigger, stronger, tougher, and so on. Basically, a few levels of Growth with some other stuff Linked to it, as I recall.

 

Thor takes one look at me and shouts, "GIANT!!!"

 

Not my smartest move.

[FireTiger]

Re: The Super Darwin Awards

 

I probably get an Honorable Mention for this one:

 

My namesake, Pariah (brick with a magic pool) is fighting all sorts of temporally anomalous things with his teammates, when all of a sudden Thor shows up. Yes, son of Odin, that Thor. And he's acting cranky. Since Pariah's one of the main combat monsters on the team, he goes off to face Thor one on one, figuring he's most likely to survive the encounter. And to increase his chances, he casts one of his favorite combat spells, "Stature of the Mountain", which makes him bigger, stronger, tougher, and so on. Basically, a few levels of Growth with some other stuff Linked to it, as I recall.

 

Thor takes one look at me and shouts, "GIANT!!!"

 

Not my smartest move.

 

Hehehe... "ouch."

[FireTiger]

Re: The Super Darwin Awards

 

This wouldn't be a full winner, but a runner-up, since he didn't actually die from it.

 

My last campaign included the martial artist White Dragon, who had among his disads a Susceptibility to Mental Powers...all mental powers.

 

He didn't enjoy being on the same team with Cerebrex the egoist and Nightshade the mystic. (Especially when Mind Link was used to allow the team to communicate...)

[Tigereye]

Re: The Super Darwin Awards

 

OK...

 

My super secret agent character (minus most of his gadgets) is in a locked room- alone- with Grond, as part of the villain's death trap scheme.

 

He gets off a couple of martial throws on the big guy (which just serve to p*** him off), but using my considerable pool of SLs, I manage to keep dodging him.

 

Finally, I figure out how to unlock the door to the room. However, rather than throwing Grond one more time, I went for the door right away.

 

I forgot how fast Grond can run.

 

I got the door opened OK- but then Grond hit me with a "4-arm smash" that sent Deuce reeling. Luckily for me, I still had part of the door in the way, so the blow was a glancing one, but I spun like a top, went down to OOC stun and even with body armor was down to 4 body.

 

Fortunately, by then our mentalist was in the room I'd been KO'ed in and delivered a wonderful world of painful illusion to Grondie.

 

A rather painful intro to Grond, don't you think? I spent most of the rest of the night getting sodas from the local vending machine and quietly kibitzing on another game in the club. Although Deuce was later restored to full health, this was not exactly my finest hour.

[FireTiger]

Re: The Super Darwin Awards

 

Here's another one from the long ago...

 

AD&D 2nd ed., one of the arcane spellcasters uses the Wraithform spell upon himself. No problem so far, and it does make it a lot harder for the critters to chew him up.

 

Then the party's cleric turns undead, rolling really well.

 

Really, really well...

 

and gets a "D" result...

 

Suddenly the party is missing an arcane spellcaster...

[input.jack]

Re: The Super Darwin Awards

 

Here's another one from the long ago...

 

AD&D 2nd ed., one of the arcane spellcasters uses the Wraithform spell upon himself. No problem so far, and it does make it a lot harder for the critters to chew him up.

 

Then the party's cleric turns undead, rolling really well.

 

Really, really well...

 

and gets a "D" result...

 

Suddenly the party is missing an arcane spellcaster...

 

Um....it just sends you into the Ethereal. It doesnt REALLY make you a Wraith...

[FireTiger]

Re: The Super Darwin Awards

 

Um....it just sends you into the Ethereal. It doesnt REALLY make you a Wraith...

 

Can I help that it was what the DM ruled? (Most versions of D&D have been open to interpretation, though each successive release does help clarify things.)

 

Heck, I might even have the details mussed, that was some 14 or 16 years ago.

[tribe]

Re: The Super Darwin Awards

 

I once was running a Cyberpunk game where the PCs had a psycho killer pinned in a five story warehouse. The players split up (!) and of course the psycho killer got one of the characters from group A on the fourth floor and ran for the stairs. The two solos that were left of group A chased him down the stairs and alerted group B who were on the second floor.

 

Sayeth one of the characters from group A over radio link, "We've got him in the stairs, we're going to pin him between us."

 

The psycho killer slips out at the third floor and the two clowns on the fourth floor throw a bunch of grenades down after him. Just as group B is coming up from the second floor. BOOM! And then there were two....

 

Just playing catch up with the posts.... this one had me laughing so hard... until I realised I was in a similar Cyberpunk game and I was the one who got blown up after another PC dropped a grenade in my direction. Must have been ten or more years ago but it still hurts... laughing I mean.