Cancer Posted July 22, 2016 Report Share Posted July 22, 2016 Student: "I notice that you've been getting more sassy with our class. Is that because you're starting to feel more comfortable with us, or because you're just getting tired of our bullcrap?" Me: "The two are not mutually exclusive." Another viable reply is: "You're two for two; keep going." Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CaptnStrawberry Posted July 22, 2016 Report Share Posted July 22, 2016 I thought this actual quote was lol-funny, from a business conference call earlier this week (folks from half a dozen states in attendance): Call Moderator: "So if you have a great idea for this project, and it comes to you in the middle of the night, even if it's 4 a.m. . . . .well. . . .maybe email it to me later." (this was not a joke, she saw where the sentence was heading and took a quick detour). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FrankL Posted July 28, 2016 Report Share Posted July 28, 2016 My sons have started playing Clue. They wanted to move around the board faster so rounded up every die they could find in the house. 15d6 later, they were shooting across the board at one go. Pariah and Burrito Boy 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hermit Posted July 28, 2016 Report Share Posted July 28, 2016 Friend: "Miss Cleo died the other day." Me: "The psychic from TV in the 90s etc?" Friend: "Yup." Me: "Wow...sad...." *pause* "Do you think she saw it coming?" Friend: *Laugh slips out, quickly replaced by tutorial glare* FrankL, Pariah, Cancer and 2 others 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted July 29, 2016 Report Share Posted July 29, 2016 Me: I knew an English Major who was terrible at grammar. Coworker who teaches English: Me: He didn't study English. He was an officer in the British Army! Coworker: Burrito Boy, aylwin13, Cancer and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted July 29, 2016 Report Share Posted July 29, 2016 Clearly not the very model of a modern Major, generally. tkdguy 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted July 29, 2016 Report Share Posted July 29, 2016 "Do you really think she's Special Needs?" "Nah, she was just raised by hippies." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted July 29, 2016 Report Share Posted July 29, 2016 "I hadn't realized I was so foresighted when earlier this week I compared my situation to that of the watch officer on the bridge when Titanic first sighted the iceberg." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucius Posted August 2, 2016 Author Report Share Posted August 2, 2016 crossposted from rpg.net That's fear of a GMspiracy (pronounced Jimspiracy) that another player and the GM are working against you. The reverse of this - the GM's concern about those on the other side of the screen colluding is Playernoia. May I quote you on that? Lucius Alexander The palindromedary notes that sometimes Game Operations Directors fear that Lucius is plotting with himself. Shucks, you guys. I'm just happy to be included. Please Lucius, quote away, and count me as someone amused by you Palindromedary. Thanks, I know some people I think will appreciate these terms. Lucius Alexander I am not plotting with a palindromedary. Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
womble Posted August 2, 2016 Report Share Posted August 2, 2016 I am not plotting with a palindromedary. But is the palindromedary plotting with itself (?themselves? ?herself? ?himself? ?hirself?)? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FrankL Posted August 2, 2016 Report Share Posted August 2, 2016 But is the palindromedary plotting with itself (?themselves? ?herself? ?himself? ?hirself?)? That was my first thought. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted August 9, 2016 Report Share Posted August 9, 2016 "Donald Trump is not welcome in this house, not even as a Pokemon." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Burrito Boy Posted August 14, 2016 Report Share Posted August 14, 2016 "Free holy water! Do you know how much this stuff goes for on the black market?" FrankL 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FrankL Posted August 15, 2016 Report Share Posted August 15, 2016 Was on YouTube listening to Lindsey Sterling this morning. One of the "you may also like" said "Halo Theme - Lindsey Sterling." For a moment, I read it as "Hal Lindsey" and wondered how YouTube's algorithms really needed work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted August 16, 2016 Report Share Posted August 16, 2016 "I like silver medals. I can melt them down into bullets and hunt werewolves." Burrito Boy 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Man Posted August 16, 2016 Report Share Posted August 16, 2016 Technically you can melt down the gold ones too, they're like 92% silver. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Man Posted September 2, 2016 Report Share Posted September 2, 2016 The eight year old: "Dad, I really want this game." "Oh? What's it about?" "It's about cars, and you race around the city doing stunts and trying not to crash into things." "Sounds fun. What's it called?" "GTA." "...That one might be for older kids." "I guess so. It does have guns and stuff." L. Marcus 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Man Posted September 28, 2016 Report Share Posted September 28, 2016 "Okay guys, turn off the TV. Time for bed." "Awwww!" "Come on guys. School tomorrow." "But we want to watch the girl get munched!" "Fine. We can watch until the girl gets munched, then bed." (Jurassic World, btw.) L. Marcus 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted September 28, 2016 Report Share Posted September 28, 2016 "I'm working off a solid twelve hours of sleep. I got four hours last night, five hours the night before, and three hours the night before that." Old Man and tkdguy 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JohnnyAppleseed098 Posted September 28, 2016 Report Share Posted September 28, 2016 "A tour is coming around the school today, so..." (Tour Coming In) "Hi, welcome to our school's Architectural Design Program!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted September 28, 2016 Report Share Posted September 28, 2016 "All right ! Yes! I am very bad at the subtle, okay? Fortunately, I hardly ever need it." L. Marcus 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted September 28, 2016 Report Share Posted September 28, 2016 "Of all the adjectives in the language, two which have never been applied to me are 'dexterous' and 'graceful'." Old Man and Pariah 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Burrito Boy Posted September 28, 2016 Report Share Posted September 28, 2016 "I think it's cool that you know that word." The word in question is antimaccasar. I never expected to get that kind of reaction. Especially from a girl. L. Marcus 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted September 28, 2016 Report Share Posted September 28, 2016 "I prepare for Thanksgiving like others prepare for war." Old Man and Burrito Boy 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted September 29, 2016 Report Share Posted September 29, 2016 "What happened after Androcles removed the thorn from the lion's paw?" "The lion became his BFF, they hung out all the time." "And then they got married...." "No, they didn't!" Tjack 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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