James Gillen Posted June 30, 2005 Report Share Posted June 30, 2005 Re: A Thread for Random Musings "What is in the air there in Washington, what is in the water? What is wrong with them? This is not a rhetorical question. I think it is unspoken question No. 1 as Americans look at so many of the individuals in our government. What is wrong with them?" -Peggy Noonan, Wall Street Journal, June 29, 2005 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mightybec Posted July 1, 2005 Report Share Posted July 1, 2005 Re: A Thread for Random Musings Who knew that a toy rake could cut through flesh so well? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amused Posted July 1, 2005 Report Share Posted July 1, 2005 Re: A Thread for Random Musings Who knew that a toy rake could cut through flesh so well? i take it you were walking bare foot and you son's rake attacked? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Samuraiko Posted July 1, 2005 Report Share Posted July 1, 2005 Re: A Thread for Random Musings This is my job, in gaming terms. Michelle aka Samuraiko chonjurer's D&D Help Desk The New Guy sits down at the cubicle, this being his first day on the job. He is excited to be helping thousands of D&D players across the globe. It feels so magical being here. A figure approaches, the mentor who will train him. chonjurer: Ahhh, you must be the new guy. So are ya excited? New Guy: This is great. I can’t wait to get started. chonjurer: Yeah, Yeah. They all say that. Wait until you talk to about 1000 of these people and we will see. Alrighty then, lets get started. *Phone Rings* chonjurer: Thank you for calling D&D Help Desk. Your call is very important to us. Please hold until one of our qualified specialists can help you. *chonjurer flips open Dragon magazine and begins reading* New Guy: What are you doing? chonjurer: Always put them on hold at the beginning of the call. Lets them know who is in charge. You can’t show weakness to the average gamer. Once they smell fear, they have you! Ok, now we are ready. (Hits Talk Button) Thank you for holding. Please Hold. (Hits Hold button). *chonjurer flips open Dragon magazine and continues reading. 10 minutes later hits talk button.* chonjurer: Ok, thanks for holding. How can I help you? Customer #1: Ok, I am having a problem with my group. They seem to be killing all my monsters. They are just pushing me around. My latest effort was to send 4 Tarrasques at them. They keep critical hitting them once they are swallowed and… chonjurer: Ok, Ok. Hold on a moment sir. Do you have a Monster Manual or Dungeon Masters Guide? Customer #1: Ummm, yes. chonjurer: Ok Sir, I think I have found your problem. It sounds like the issue is you haven’t read them. Knowing the rules gives you a framework to actually running the game. It sounds like your players are doing that for you. I can’t really help you though with your lack of backbone. I suggest some Self-Help courses. See how that goes, and give us a call back. *Click* New Guy: Umm… the way you… so does that… chonjurer: Happen a lot. Yeah. We call them Leapers then Panickers. They never read the rules and their friends eat them alive. *In the distance there is an anguished scream* chonjurer: Poor Arturick. By the gods. New Guy: What is wrong with him? chonjurer: He got ‘promoted’ to Forgotten Realms support. It’s rough because you also have to answer questions on using the novels in your game. Buddy, after you deal with 100 callers asking about how to make their characters like Elminster or Drizz’t, you are ready to take anyone’s head off with a shovel. New Guy: Who is that guy way over there in the corner. Why are there cobwebs all over him? chonjurer: That is Roele. He does Legacy Birthright Support. Hasn’t had a call in years. They keep him there just in case. We have an office pool that costs $5 to enter. The bet is when the spiders will eat him. Well then, next caller. *Phone Rings* chonjurer: Thank you for calling D&D Help Desk. Your call is very important to us. Please hold until one of our qualified specialists can help you. *chonjurer flips open Dragon magazine and begins reading* chonjurer: Ok, thanks for holding. How can I help you? Customer #2: I WANT A PROBLEM FIXED!!! I rolled up a Ranger and played him up to 20th level. I have +25/+20/+15/+10 to attack. My sister rolls up a Cleric and she has comparable combat ability with a +19/+14/+8 and can cast spells. THERE IS NO CLASS BALANCE!!! RANGERS SUCK!!! I sat down and calculated the feats, skills, and bonuses. They don’t stack up to other classes. I rolled up a far better… *chonjurer hits the mute button * chonjurer: Ugghhh. These are the worst kind. No matter what it is… it sucks. This guy could be given a Vorpal Sword by his DM, and he will still say it sucks. (Hits Talk Button). Ok Sir, if you read your DMG, then you realize that the DM can customize the core rules. In D&D terminology we call them "House Rules". You will need to talk to your DM… Customer #2: THIS SUCKS!!! THEY SHOULD BE INCLUDED IN… chonjurer: Please hold while I concur with my supervisor. *chonjurer flips open Dragon magazine and begins reading* New Guy: What if he has a valid point? chonjurer (dripping in sarcasm): Oh they all have ‘valid’ points and can design the game better. Believe me, the average gamer is never right in matters of fact. Only opinion. Newbie, we just can’t let the floodgates open. The hyperinflation of abilities and bonuses will end D20 as we know it. We'll end up with D100, or worse… turn into FASA. New Guy: I see your point. chonjurer: Hey, look lively. The Supervisor is coming. Jenny: Good Morning!!! What a wonderful day!!! How are things going chonjurer? Difficult caller? chonjurer: Your standard rules whiner. You know, the everything sucks type. I can’t seem to talk him down. Listen to this… Jenny: Boy he is a one sad kitten. Well he isn’t going to ruin my day. Let me talk to him. (Gets on phone). Sir, I really understand your point of view but won’t changing the rules make your sister feel bad. What about other people who play Clerics. A cleric is hard enough as it is to role-play… Customer #2: SHE IS A PACIFISTIC CLERIC OF SUNE AND STILL MORE POWERFUL THAN ME!!!!!! Jenny: Well Sir, I would really like to be helpful to your problem, really, but this a Forgotten Realms issue, let me transfer you too one of our highly trained… Customer #2: NO… PLEASE!!! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!!! NO TRANSFERS!!! Jenny: (Smiles Evilly) You have yourself a wonderful, special day now… (click). *In the distance a phone rings and there is an anguished scream* chonjurer: SORRY!!! Hey thanks for the assist Jenny. This is the New Guy. Jenny: Nice to meet you. Remember Mr. Newbie, Be friendly, nice, and all will be fine. I have to check on the others. Bye Now. New Guy: She scares me. chonjurer: Don’t worry about it. Jenny’s cool. Only be scared when you get your Pink Slip with smiley faces on it. Onto the next call. *Phone Rings* chonjurer: Thank you for calling D&D Help Desk. Your call is very important to us. Please hold until one of our qualified specialists can help you. *chonjurer flips open Dragon magazine and begins reading* chonjurer: Look at this article. Nice supplements on Dwarves. Boy I can see the calls on this template already… people need to stop taking this stuff as if it is "mandatory canon". You would swear that the word optional isn’t in the English language. New Guy: It seems you get nothing but complainers and people that don’t use common sense? chonjurer: Boy you catch on quick. (Hits Talk Button) Ok, thanks for holding. How can I help you? Customer #3 (Hysterical): I‘m having major problems!!! I am in the middle of my gaming session and I am trying to calculate XP. I was on the phone with someone named Josh and he explained CR to me. I just can’t figure this out!!! chonjurer: Okay Sir, let me ask you something. Do all the appliances in your house flash 12:00am? Customer #3 (Sobbing): Yes. chonjurer: Okay Sir. Please Hold. (Presses Hold and tosses headset down). Oh boy. We have a 12 o’clock Flasher. He can’t set any of his appliances and can’t figure out directions. There is no possible way for a 12 o’clock Flasher to calculate XP for a gaming group. If he has already talked to Josh, gone though the "baby-steps" of CR, then we are in big trouble. I have seen people eat their headsets trying to get these guys to calculate XP. New Guy: What are you going to do? chonjurer: The only thing I can. (Puts headset on and Presses Talk Button). Okay Sir, do you happen to have a small child nearby… you do!!! Great!!!! Put them on!!! Hi, what is your name? Jessica? Hey that is a wonderful name. Jessica, your Daddy is trying to calculate XP for your gaming group. Could you look at his encounter sheet… yeah… that is right… yep… adjust for the levels and divide by the number of players. Very Good.!! Ok this is what I want you to do. I want you to tell your Daddy to give you the Books. Yes. I want you to take over running his gaming group. Tell your daddy he should go out an buy "Pokemon Cards". Yes. That is Gaming for Mommies and Daddies. No I don’t need to talk to him. Have a nice day now… *click* chonjurer: Phew. That was a close call. Whoa. Hey I need a break. Why don’t you take over for a few…..be right back. *Phone Rings* New Guy: Thank you for calling D&D Help Desk. Your call is very important to us. Please hold until one of our qualified specialists can help you. death tribble, zornwil and Cancer 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vondy Posted July 1, 2005 Report Share Posted July 1, 2005 Re: A Thread for Random Musings So, in the Anita Blake books the werewolves have a sacred grove-thingy called a lupanar where they meet. A lupanar, in ancient rome, was a low-brothel (a diversorium was a "quality" brothel). I know Laurell K Hamilton has fallen into heavy smut with her books, but I don't think she knew the meaning of the word when she selected it for her cool woodsy werewolf hang-out long before choosing sex over plot. There's a moral to this story kids: use your bloody dictionary. Your dictionary will save you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted July 1, 2005 Report Share Posted July 1, 2005 Re: A Thread for Random Musings I really feel sorry for the next person who is Rachel and wants to log on to the HERO boards. The amount of scrutiny they will go through to prove that they aren't that other persona beyond reasonable doubt. Afterall Rachel is a far more common name than Kara. I know a few people named Rachel, I don't know anyone (other than a figment of someone's imagination) named Kara. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vondy Posted July 1, 2005 Report Share Posted July 1, 2005 Re: A Thread for Random Musings I can only say one thing about Ennio Morricone: Mahagany. The first person who identifies the reference gets rep. Why do they get rep? Because Ennio Morricone makes me that happy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted July 1, 2005 Report Share Posted July 1, 2005 Re: A Thread for Random Musings This is by definition a random musing. For the random walk of equal-length steps in 2 dimensions, the probability of reaching any fixed point after N steps approaches unity as N goes to infinity. However, for the random walk of equal-length steps in 3 (or more) dimensions, this limit probability is less than unity. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted July 2, 2005 Report Share Posted July 2, 2005 Re: A Thread for Random Musings Well, L Ron Hubbard was a science fiction writer; who know Dianetics would be his best piece of science fiction . I'm guessing Battlefield Earth is his worst piece. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
James Gillen Posted July 3, 2005 Report Share Posted July 3, 2005 Re: A Thread for Random Musings "I think we live in a bad age for the free speech argument. Many of us have internalized the censorship argument, which is that it is better to shut people up than to let them say things we don't like. This is a dangerous slippery slope, because people of good intentions and high principles can see censorship as a way of advancing their cause and not as a terrible mistake. Yet bad ideas don't cease to exist by not being expressed. They fester and become more powerful." -Salman Rushdie, Reason Magazine, Aug./Sept. 2005 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted July 3, 2005 Report Share Posted July 3, 2005 Re: A Thread for Random Musings [nasty thought] What if Tom Cruise as a Scientologist is using his religion to convert prominate celebrities to his religion -- or is being persuaded to. I recall that as Nicole Kidman didn't want to convert to Scientology, I wonder then that Cruise decided to divorse her and "try again" so to speak to attract a convert by marriage. [/natsy thought] Seems unlikely huh? Some quotes from wikipedia: (page then quote) Mimi Rogers: "She is a member of the Church of Scientology." [Tom's first wife] Nicole Kidman: "One persistent rumour claims however that Kidman's desire to bring up their children Catholic, and her critical views on Scientology caused the problems in her marriage with Tom Cruise" Tom Cruise: "Cruise's fiancée, Katie Holmes, recently converted to Scientology from Roman Catholicism." Katie Holmes: "It is also known that during these sixteen days, Holmes acquired her new best friend, a Scientology operative referred to in various reports as either "Jessica Feshbach" or "Jessica Rodriguez", who was reportedly hired by Cruise to keep Katie in line. According to reports, Jessica trails Holmes a quarter-step behind her everywhere she goes. She has been accused of disrupting press conferences and promotional interviews. Holmes has since announced she is converting to Scientology. [4] [5] [6]...It is rumored that Holmes was not Cruise's first choice to be his new girlfriend/Scientology convert. Actress Scarlett Johansson was attached for a short time to Mission: Impossible III, but dropped out of the project after a dinner date with Cruise and a roomful of Scientologists allegedly went awry. [7]" What does this prove? Nothing but antedotal evidence and hearsay. You can make up your own mind. But I find in increasingly scary. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vondy Posted July 3, 2005 Report Share Posted July 3, 2005 Re: A Thread for Random Musings When the barbarians sacked Rome they put an end to the gladatorial games... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vondy Posted July 3, 2005 Report Share Posted July 3, 2005 Re: A Thread for Random Musings Teak, baby. Teak. And I'll still give rep to the first person who gets the reference. http://spaghettiwesterns.1g.fi/music.htm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vondy Posted July 3, 2005 Report Share Posted July 3, 2005 Re: A Thread for Random Musings I admit it: years ago I actually sat through Satanico Pandemonium. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zornwil Posted July 3, 2005 Report Share Posted July 3, 2005 Re: A Thread for Random Musings Whine moan moan whine moan moan bitch moan bitch whine whine. SHUT THE HELL UP ALREADY! (this is a note to myself) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vondy Posted July 3, 2005 Report Share Posted July 3, 2005 Re: A Thread for Random Musings Non-Alcoholic Malt is very popular in Israel. I can't figure it out. Its good, but... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
James Gillen Posted July 4, 2005 Report Share Posted July 4, 2005 Re: A Thread for Random Musings "You don't write a song like 'God Save the Queen' because you hate the English race. You write a song like that because you love them, and you're fed up with them being mistreated." -Johnny Rotten, The Filth and the Fury Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vondy Posted July 4, 2005 Report Share Posted July 4, 2005 Re: A Thread for Random Musings http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=von_d Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
death tribble Posted July 4, 2005 Report Share Posted July 4, 2005 Re: A Thread for Random Musings So, like, while you are all partying and stuff, 'cos like it's July 4, man, we're going to drop the big one on you. 'Cos, like, you won't be able to do anything about it as the turkey will have filled you, you know. Praise the Revolution. Man. (This is a party political broadcast by the Stoner Front) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vondy Posted July 4, 2005 Report Share Posted July 4, 2005 Re: A Thread for Random Musings What use is the media in terms of the public good when it is caught - on film - staging events designed to build support for the personal political agenda of the editors and journalists at the news outlet in question? Should such an organization be defined as the "press" and given the protections the press traditionally enjoys in a democratic nation? Or should there be laws imposing bronze-age-esque penalties for such a breach of public trust? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Samuraiko Posted July 4, 2005 Report Share Posted July 4, 2005 Re: A Thread for Random Musings I can't BELIEVE I'm stuck at work today... this is SO boring! So I'm keeping busy by doing other stuff... getting my website out onto the Internet (just submitted it to over 100+ search engines), watching my videos on it, next I'll start playing Jewel Quest or something... Boring, boring, boring... Michelle aka Samuraiko Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Man Posted July 4, 2005 Author Report Share Posted July 4, 2005 Re: A Thread for Random Musings I now possess the HMS Dreadnought. Flee in terror, pirate scum! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
James Gillen Posted July 5, 2005 Report Share Posted July 5, 2005 Re: A Thread for Random Musings "A man is said to have a right to his property, he may be equally said to have a property in his rights. Where an excess of power prevails, property of no sort is duly respected. No man is safe in his opinions, his person, his faculties, or his possessions." -James Madison, 1789 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted July 5, 2005 Report Share Posted July 5, 2005 Re: A Thread for Random Musings Hey everybody I am reading Barrie's Peter Pan. don't spoil it for me. okay. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted July 5, 2005 Report Share Posted July 5, 2005 Re: A Thread for Random Musings At times one is startled by how young people can be and show a ghoulish sense of humor.... My 10-year-old son broke his elbow yesterday. It wasn't obvious, a non-displaced fracture, and he's now in a splint. My wife took him to the doctor this morning. On the way home, Mom asked him what he wanted for dinner this evening. "Something with elbow macaroni." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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