What's the best way to conquer Canada?

[Killer Shrike]

Re: What's the best way to conquer Canada?

 

The same things that would work to take over nearly any country would work on Canada too.

 

Remember the lesson of Genghis Khan: Chop off the head 1st, then let the citizens do mostly whatever they like so long as they pay their taxes.

 

Given a choice between death and life under the rule of a tyrant that mostly just wants your money, the majority will choose life.

[Dog Soldier]

Re: What's the best way to conquer Canada?

 

No no, Canadians are special, all those urban dwellers would take to the woods and arctic tundra and fight to the bitter end. They will of course have all the requisite survival skills because they were born with them

[Guest rbezold]

Re: What's the best way to conquer Canada?

 

Could try the deal-with-the-devil route.

 

Super-scientist villain (Dr.Destroyer, Telios, Malachite, etc) promises to use their knowledge to end hunger, cancer, aids, etc etc if the people submit. What's a few liberties compared to the benefits the "villain" offers?

 

Something I would suggest, too. In fact if you want to go a Dark Champions route...

 

Back when Bush Sr. was president, the province of Newfoundland was having severe economic difficulties. Ottowa refused to help, and Newfoundland threatened to invoke a clause in their confederation that would allow them to join the US. Bush went to parliment and told them that his administration wouldn't allow it, and that was that.

 

It might not be impossible to conquer Canada (for real) from a political standpoint. One would only need to target one province at a time and promise the people something their government can't give them. Of course, since it comes from a supervillain, it would have to be a false promise

 

BTW, don't forget Quebec. They've been trying to breakaway for years, and they have (or soon will) most of Canada's hydro-electric. I would hire Ultrasonique for this job.

[Myrmidon]

Re: What's the best way to conquer Canada?

 

Theres no quick way to conquer Canada, or at least conquer all of it.

 

But heck if I was thinking of a way to takeover Canada the good old mentalist mastermind would have the easiest time.

 

Essentially its the classic control the head, and you control the body game. Just in this case the targets would be the top bureaucrats and elected officals.

 

To conquer by main force, heck the point would be to sieze part of Canada, the best pick being Alberta since you can leverage the oil and gas assessts and slowly roll over the rest of the country.

 

Besides who would want to conquer Canada, now a sun drenched Carribean Island on the other hand.....

 

Cheers, David

[sinanju]

Re: What's the best way to conquer Canada?

 

Best way to conquer Canada (or anywhere else): Mind control the voting public to go along with whatever you want to do, including--if necessary--passing amendments to the Constitution (USA) or other founding documents, as well as to the laws, to make it all nice and legal. If you want to be subtle, arrange for the votes to be close enough to be convincing. Nobody is going to believe that 100% of Canadians think Sinanju should be God-Emperor For Life, but a hard-fought campaign to elect me, and then to give me ever-increasing political and military authority...that's somewhat more plausible.

[death tribble]

Re: What's the best way to conquer Canada?

 

You could always tell the Canadians that the US surrendered first

[OddHat]

Re: What's the best way to conquer Canada?

 

PRE 70. Persuasion, Oratory, Seduction, Wealth, Followers, Contacts. You'll rule almost any country in 3-5 years.

 

Dull, not much for the heroes to do, but it works.

[tancred]

Re: What's the best way to conquer Canada?

 

Spoiler Alert:

 

Clive Cussler's 1981 novel NIght Probe featured Dirk Pitt finding a treaty whereby Britain sold Canada to the U.S. during (I think) World War I.

 

At the end of the book, the merged country was referred to (briefly) as the United States of Canada.

Interesting how subsequent books never mentioned the new country.

 

Good yarn, though, and a clever idea for how a supervillain might manipulate diplomacy and/or history to "conquer" Canada.

[Battlestaff]

Re: What's the best way to conquer Canada?

 

And the funny thing is' date=' after Teleios and Menton were exposed as the monsters they were (And maybe Gravitar would be too,or maybe she's gain some insight and grow up a little), when the dust settled, Borealis might find many grateful Canadians following his vision willingly![/quote']

Maybe that was also part of the plan all along. I mean, Menton and Teleios would have no problem working behind the scenes to control Borealis, right?

[TheQuestionMan]

Re: What's the best way to conquer Canada?

 

The most involved, but easiest way is to use a Shapeshifter/Clone/Mental Control/etc... to replace important political leaders and lobbiests. Then create an new party dedicated to responsible government. Then use the Shapeshifter/Clone/Mental Control/etc... to cause scandle after scandle. Have all their dirty laundry aired and destroy their and their parties reputation.

 

Then bring forth the Party for Reponsible Government. Once in power turn it into a benevolent dictatorship and rule the north.

 

In my dreams anyway

 

QM

 

P.S.: always finishing with "for the good of all Canadians"

[Tom McCarthy]

Re: What's the best way to conquer Canada?

 

Well, if you want to do it the hard way (politically), you're going to need to use super resources, but you can actually stir up the political landscape by appearing to offer answers to Canada's political problems. Essentially, the weakness of the Canadian government is that it has offered too many things and can't back them up financially. Cash strapped military, cash strapped education, cash strapped health care; those are hot button topics (in reverse order, really). To a lesser extent, sovereignty, the environment, fishing bans in Newfoundland, immigration, a scientifically-unsupportable beef export ban, and the cost and quality of post-secondary education, high taxes, and the value of the dollar (not its buying power) are political issues. There's several elements of the nation pushing for the government to adopt the deficit spending styles of the other G7 nations.

 

And of Canada's three national political parties, only one strikes me as having a strongly seated leader; any or all could be challenged by a mind-controlled or misguided dupe from the ranks (a 'backbencher').

 

A supervillain who can, through a legitimate appearing front, offer very high quality and timely health care on a for-profit basis will draw down the ire of the federal government. If a provincial government actually backs the entrepreneur, it will quickly become a political issue.

 

A political leader who advocates a stronger military with supertech (say, arming a new elite airborne (definitely lower case 'a') with UNTIL tech) might be seen as out of touch with the constituency, but if he can do it cheaply and effectively there may be a real cry of support.

 

Oh, and it's definitely not a two party system. If Kang and Kodoss replaced Paul Martin and Stephen Harper, we'd still be free to vote NDP, PQ, Independent, Green, Communist, or any of a dozen other political affiliations. It would be a pretty strange legislature, but we wouldn't elect aliens.

 

=====================

 

Now, to conquer the nation militarily, this may not be too difficult. If you can control a strip about 150 km wide for the length of the border, you're as good as gold. Heck, there's only 30 million Canadians and I don't think there's more than 10 or 12 cities of over a million people, even post-amalgamation.

 

In an open military invasion, you'd have to worry about US allies storming the border. To hold them out, I'd almost hope for a 'City Walls' scenario, where the border mystically becomes impenetrable to foreigners (only Canadians can enter, only US heroes inside can help stop the plot) while summoned mystical forces help control the population. This sounds like a job for DEMON or a serious supermage.

[Supreme Serpent]

Re: What's the best way to conquer Canada?

 

Just buy the Perk.

[Hermit]

Re: What's the best way to conquer Canada?

 

That's a lot of hexes to pay for. Mmm, maybe Megascaling it..

[Zed-F]

Re: What's the best way to conquer Canada?

 

Head of State is worth 10 points.

[CrosshairCollie]

Re: What's the best way to conquer Canada?

 

Just steal an idea from Kim Possible and use a weather machine. If it works for Dr. Drakken, it'll work for Hermit!

 

Wait, it didn't work for Dr. Drakken.

 

Never mind.

[Chiba Bob]

Re: What's the best way to conquer Canada?

 

Super-scientist villain (Dr.Destroyer' date=' Telios, Malachite, etc) promises to use their knowledge to end hunger, cancer, aids, etc etc if the people submit. What's a few liberties compared to the benefits the "villain" offers?[/quote']

 

Canadians tend to downplay their national heros (the warrior types at leased). Canadian Supers have faced all these threats and the last time Dr Destroyer showed his face up North he had his butt handed to him. On the other hand, Borealis is just considered one of those very annoying villains because he is a national embarrassment.

 

Over the years, there have been many attempts to covertly infiltrate various levels of government by means of clones, shape changing or mind control; as a result, the CSS (Canadian Security Service), who works closely with UNTIL, have protocols in place to combat them.

 

Moreover, Canada also has their own super scientists (such as George McGuire) who can deal with such threats as pathogens or weather control devices. Moreover, some of the older generation of Canadians would welcome a weather controlled winter. Global Warming is making things too hot up North (they miss all the snow).

 

Speaking for most Canadian Supers, things have been too quiet op here for the last decade or so and they would welcome a good attempt to take over Canada. It would give them a chance to stretch their legs.

 

PS Gestalt Bennie, just to let you know, I had to channel Avenger just one more time. As a reminder, I still have Sleeper's teleport ring. I hope I have goaded you a bit.

 

 

.

[GestaltBennie]

Re: What's the best way to conquer Canada?

 

Unfortunately, CB, the warranty on Sleeper's teleport ring expired a few years ago.

 

Yeah, I miss that game too. :-)

[Starlord]

Re: What's the best way to conquer Canada?

 

Kidnap Rush and hold them ransom?

[Chiba Bob]

Re: What's the best way to conquer Canada?

 

Unfortunately, CB, the warranty on Sleeper's teleport ring expired a few years ago.

 

Yeah, I miss that game too. :-)

 

WARRANTY! There is a warranty? I should have known. Those who steal for a living never get the extended warranty, only the Extended Haymaker.

 

 

 

.

[Chiba Bob]

Re: What's the best way to conquer Canada?

 

Kidnap Rush and hold them ransom?

 

Kidnaping the band, Rush, would not net much of a ransom except maybe from their manager.

 

 

.

[dbsousa]

Re: What's the best way to conquer Canada?

 

If you are going to use Mind Control (IMHO, the only way to keep the U.S. out of the fight...) you would be wise to take advantage of Canadian Content Laws...

 

Canadian Content: Also CanCon — the percentage of Canadian subjects, values, and themes in an artistic or cultural artifact; a controversial and sometimes successful combination of Canadian policies, rules, and laws that attempt to, among other things:

(a) encourage Canadian cultural expression in all its diversity by setting standards for access to tax credits and direct funding, including employing Canadians in key creative positions, using a Canadian central story or subject, and setting the story in Canadian locations;

 

( ensure Canadians have access to their own cultural products by setting standards and minimum percentages for distribution by television and radio broadcasters, and the stations carried by cable companies;

 

© develop a sustainable, competitive environment in Canada for the production and distribution of Canadian content in all media, including film, radio, television, publishing, video and sound recording, and multimedia.

[/Quote]

[Hermit]

Re: What's the best way to conquer Canada?

 

Just steal an idea from Kim Possible and use a weather machine. If it works for Dr. Drakken, it'll work for Hermit!

 

Wait, it didn't work for Dr. Drakken.

 

Never mind.

 

*Eyeing the Weather machine* "I'll take it."

 

Salesman-"Great, let's just pop into the office and I'll set you up..."

 

Drakken- "No, I mean, I'll take it. She-Go!" *Proceed with weathermachine theft*

 

[TheQuestionMan]

Re: What's the best way to conquer Canada?

 

Hmmm... Gonna have to create some Plot Seeds for Canada's Supervillains.

 

Uhm... HELP!

 

QM

[Ockham's Spoon]

Re: What's the best way to conquer Canada?

 

I think the real question on how to conquer Canada starts with the reason for doing so. Canada is a great country and all, but if you are a meglomaniacal villain, you are going to go after the U.S. because there is more glory in ruling a bigger country.

 

For instance, if Mechanon decides that he wants unrestricted access to Canada's vast energy reserves, he might detonate a series of nuclear bombs to make the whole place uninhabitable to biological lifeforms. Then he uses radiation impervious robots to harvest the petroleum and tar sands and whatnot.

 

Maybe your conqueror is an Inuit that wants to return the land to the Native Americans. He creates a virus that is targeted to the genetic markers in people of European decent. It doesn't kill them outright, but causes cancer in reproductive systems so that victims either die of the cancer or are rendered sterile after treatment. Sure this is a long-term approach, but it is subtle enough not to be treated at a terrorist attack.

 

Then of course you might have space aliens who typically live in cold climes, so Canada looks like a great place to settle down. The aliens try to bargain with the Earth, something like "Give us Canada and we can coexist peacefully. Otherwise we will wipe your pathetic race off the planet and just take it."

 

Finally Canada might have to fend off an invasion of all those Americans fleeing the Bush adminstration who want to set up American culture in their northern neighbor...

 

_______________________________________________________

"Beam me up Scottie" - Captain Kirk, famous Canadian

[David Johnston]

Re: What's the best way to conquer Canada?

 

Spoiler Alert:

 

Clive Cussler's 1981 novel NIght Probe featured Dirk Pitt finding a treaty whereby Britain sold Canada to the U.S. during (I think) World War I.

 

At the end of the book, the merged country was referred to (briefly) as the United States of Canada.

Interesting how subsequent books never mentioned the new country.

 

As I recall it that's because it never happened. The President simply used the threat of it to force the Canadians into compliance with American demands and left it at that.