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Darren Watts

Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

So I'm running a Champions Game originally called the Trafic Light of Justice, mainly because the characters had a Red, Green and Yellow color scheme. But It's actually more like the Rainbow of Justice now as there are seven characters each with a color of the rainbow.

 

The players were joking about their team battlecry. All I can say is that

"PRIDE" is their favorite.

"Sherwin Williams!!!"

 

Okay well anyways the team in transported faqr across the galaxy to the Andromeda Star Empire, where they meet the Empress and her Starknights. Well the Empress being a 15 year old clone whose ever whim is carried out, invites the teams speedster, Terminal to a private dinner.

 

Empress: "We have enjoyed our dinner now we will copulate."

Terminal: "Umm I'm not sure if we're even compatible."

Empress: Disrobe and We shall see."

Portal's Player (OOC): "Kirk her!!"

 

The rest of the game was devoted to figuring out if she should be "Kirked".

Or possibly "Rikered".

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Pulp HERO time, with our insipid band of adventurers facing off against the Frankenstein Mob.

------------------------------------

"Pick on someone your own bra size!"

-------------------------------------

Dr. Macabre, the occultist, portrayed by Jeff, has turned invisible and is carefully approaching a Tommy-Gun wielding foe.

Jeff (sarcastically): "Bet you didn't see that coming."

Me: "Dude, you're invisible. Of course I didn't see that coming."

-------------------------------------

"Have you noticed that a lot of my plans require your characters to get severely injured first?"

"Yes. Yes, I have."

-------------------------------------

Nails has gone enraged, achieved a DEX of 20, and due to as much bad dice as anything, we can't lay a finger on her. My character, Beowulf, picks up a bar table and rushes her with it.

"Good evening, madam. May I show a table to you?" *crunch*

-------------------------------------

"I'm only going to shoot one gonad, and I have a rubber bullet."

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

I've got a few from when I was involved in a Vampire larp. I played Shroeder Jones, eccentric stuntman turned brujah primogen turned prince of Rochester. I played the character for years and maxed out his traits, his disciplines and was working out of out clan powers and general skills.

 

Said to newbie brujah when I was primogen:

"I'm stronger than you're probably ever going to be. Remember that for when you get yourselves in trouble - keeping your fingers is a privilage, not a right."

 

While making polite conversation as the prince:

"Yeah, I really hate it when I get dragged out to art shows. I mean, they're always run by those frickin' prissy types and y'know, not bein' one of those I really hate 'em. All of 'em. Frickin' rose to the nose types... I'd hand them their teeth and see them politely out of my city afterwards if I could. So, which one of them's your clan, anyway?"

Curiously, the woman in nice evening gown that I'd been talking to was toreador. She sort of mumbled that and then left very, very quickly.

 

After finding out that my seneschal is a former member of the sabbat:

"Well, nobody's perfect. I mean, if you're on the up and up now you're a step ahead of all of clan tremere."

 

Staring down the local alpha of a shadowlord pack:

"Oh, I'm *so* not afraid of you. After everything I go through at every single gathering, getting stabbed in the front would be a relief."

 

Staring down the tremere archon, an argument I did *not* win:

"... and until you come back with a warrant, I don't care who you are. My city, my rules. Now you just hop back on your broom and tell the yutz who sent you to call me. I haven't been yelled at tonight and I'm overdue."

 

As the only combat character in the room when the Sabbat attacked:

"I know obfuscate's cool but really, how many Malkavians can actually hide behind me?"

 

On people breaking the rules in Elysium:

"Oh, that's IT! No more Mr. Calm guy!"

And with that, I activated Magesty. Every Malk, Nos and even a gangrel became suddenly very visible. I took in the people and whipped around on the one person I didn't know.

"AND WHO THE HECK ARE YOU?!"

The guy explains he's a nosferatu.

"Then why have I never seen you before?"

ANd the entire room burst into laughter.

 

After being told by the prince that I would take the place of the previous brujah primogen:

"I don't suppose you're gonna change your mind? I mean, this is sort of like being put out to stud without the fun stuff that comes along with it."

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

As the only combat character in the room when the Sabbat attacked:

"I know obfuscate's cool but really, how many Malkavians can actually hide behind me?"

 

Years ago, playing a Malkavian, I decided to eavesdrop on a meeting. Rather than muck about with rolls (and I didn't have obs anyway), I wandered in before the meeting really got underway, dropped down, and knelt quietly under the table. The people who saw it apparently didn't feel like turning me in, and promptly forgot about it. Sure enough, halfway into the meeting, a pack of werewolves attacked. As the ST came to my initiative, I called out plaintively from under the table, "I hold my action!" It took a little bit for combat to pick back up.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

"I know obfuscate's cool but really' date=' how many Malkavians can actually hide behind me?"[/quote']

 

Isn't that like asking, "How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?"

 

 

The world may never know.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Various quotes from today's games:

 

Weldun's:

 

Miss Chaos: "Oh dear, aliens walking the streets."

Avatar (an Alien): "Yeah, so what's the problem?"

 

Trawler: "Compared to Disruption Soldiers, I'll take Martians."

 

OOC:

 

Miss C's player: "There's a damp spot on one of the printouts."

Terminus's player: "Out, damp spot?"

3's player: "At least you don't have to sleep in it."

 

From my game:

 

"I knock up the demon for 6 inches."

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Various quotes from today's games:

 

Miss C's player: "There's a damp spot on one of the printouts."

Terminus's player: "Out, damp spot?"

3's player: "At least you don't have to sleep in it."

 

From my game:

 

"I knock up the demon for 6 inches."

 

"real inches or game inches?"

 

And that demon didn't take kindly to being knocked back, either. Altho he did seem to enjoy having Orca on top. (what sluts these demons be)

 

 

and don't forget another quote from Concubine 3, when we discussed the plan to bring her along as a auto-translating communication relay between the Skeleton Crew and her alien race.

 

"Boobs are multilingual"

 

(Having Desiree in this game is going to be deeply distracting, I suspect)

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

 

and don't forget another quote from Concubine 3, when we discussed the plan to bring her along as a auto-translating communication relay between the Skeleton Crew and her alien race.

 

"Boobs are multilingual"

 

(Having Desiree in this game is going to be deeply distracting, I suspect)

 

Interesting character concept.

 

JG

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Personally my favorite took place during a siege in fantasy hero. The guy was playing a fire mage standing atop the gates while the attacking army charged. He stood there for a full 5 minutes preparing his biggest baddest spell. Finally he got to where he could make his casting roll to fire the spell off. His line. "Oops."

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

The team has just been teleported, and reappear several feet above the ground. 3 of the 4 members can fly, and start doing so to avoid falling. The GM has the non-flyer, Centurion, make a Dex roll. He rolls a 4.

 

 

GM: Okay, Centurion, you do a flip and land on your feet... And you look cooler then everyone else.

 

 

Fireguy (OOC): But I'm on fire!

 

 

Fade (OOC): And I'm translucent!

 

 

Big G (OOC): ...I'm black.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

The GM got a kick out of this, so I don't feel TOO vain posting it here.

 

Mole, in his late teens, has been a superhero for awhile now but hasn't told his mom. However, he's been missing for awhile in an adventure that started with DEMON kidnapping both himself and three other characters, and realizes his mother is going to be panicked. The other kid heroes convince him to come clean. How does he start to explain things to his mom?

 

"I was kidnapped by DEMON, strapped down, and going to be sacrificed... But it's OK...."

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Interesting character concept.

 

JG

 

makes more sense you think - Vitus is desperately lonely, romantically naive, never had any consentual sexual experience, is currently the honoured guest of alien carnivores that are highly sexual and highly attractive, and that as a matter of course offer courtesans to visiting alien VIPS.

 

Being from a bronze age, slave-keeping culture himself, Vitus gratefully accepted and soon fell completely head-over-heels in love. Third Daughter of the Last Ka's Second-favourite Concubine, of course, was just being professional. (Proffessional courtesan, spy, and if neccesary assassin, that is - Vitus wouldn't believe that even if anyone told him)

 

Plus, my wife wanted to join the game :)

 

full story here - http://drhoz.livejournal.com/116845.html

 

3 joined us at the battle because, we decided, her race needed some-one of their own species to ensure the telepathic communication between ourselves, and the command post stayed strong and reliable.

 

That and the mission accomplished, he's asked the Ka for her as a reward. He said sure. Now Vitus just has to put up with his human colleagues telling him repeatedly and pointedly that slavery is illegal.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

During character generation for a new project:

 

Player 1: I want to be super strong. I want to be super fast. I want to have energy powers. I want to be invulnerable. I -

 

Player 2, doing their very best "Fred Fredburger" voice from Billy & Mandy: I... I like nachos. I like frozen yougurt - yes.

 

And everyone died laughing.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

and don't forget another quote from Concubine 3, when we discussed the plan to bring her along as a auto-translating communication relay between the Skeleton Crew and her alien race.

 

"Boobs are multilingual"

 

(Having Desiree in this game is going to be deeply distracting, I suspect)

 

Um, did she mean boobs speak many languages? (image: talking breasts)

Or did she mean boobs have many tongues? (image:...no, let's not go there :eek:)

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Um, did she mean boobs speak many languages? (image: talking breasts)

Or did she mean boobs have many tongues? (image:...no, let's not go there :eek:)

 

I was taking it more to mean that flashing one's boobs at someone was the universal language for 'Pay attention to me'. ;)

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

So there's a hero Braindrain suspended over a tank of acid by a thin rope which a candle is burning its way through. (Our GM was extremely old school with his death traps)

The death trap is defended by 'Dalek' copies (why defend a teath trap? We'd been here before... And he got teh models cheap at a swop meet)

The resident brick decided to commit his usual patented style of mayhem and blunder. Grabbing two of them there 'Daleks' hurls them into the air. And a look of concern passes over his face as he realises that they have to land somewhere...

 

The GM (still being old school) decided to go easy. "Just don't roll a 3" he says. Well, the 3 was rolled and the two 'Daleks' came down, smashing into teh captured criminal and all three drop into the acid tank. Acid goes everywhere over the hero group as well as the 2 robots and Braindrain. The two robots then explode, showering the group with acid, burning acid, shrapnel and various assorted nastiness. It was BAD.

 

Quote from the brick: "But it wasn't suppose to happen like that...."

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

We played a Fantasy Hero game at Dragon*Con, run by Josh and attended by me, my college roommate, and Thag13 and his gaming group. We were all quite punchy and sleep-deprived, and so, of course, it was hilarious. None of our characters had names; we just went by our character professions.

 

Here are the lines I remembered to write down:

 

The Hero: "But you have to remember, for the rest of the game, that I have seen you naked."

 

GM: "Have you looked at your disadvantages sheet? You're doing a good job of playing them, anyway."

The Priest (OOC, after looking at his sheet): "Oh, good."

 

In combat, The Dwarf runs in for an ambush on several sleeping bad guys, and cuts the ropes for the tents. Once the men are tangled in their tents, he declares, "Those twelve are covered."

 

A major feature of the game is that the hero was supposed to be a Mary Sue, so Josh spent some time describing how they really like her . . . eyes. Yeah, her eyes.

 

So the party is discussing plans, and someone (I forget who) says, "Well, we gotta keep Captain Cleavage here happy."

 

(They called her that for the rest of the game.)

 

Later, still discussing plans, The Dwarf says, "I don't care HOW nice her cleavage is." He pauses, then reassures her, "It is really nice, though."

 

Later, we're fighting a giant, and my character (elven archer) makes a called shot to the vitals, and deals enough damage to separate that part from the rest of the giant. At the (mostly-male) table, I get eyed, then the guy playing the priest asks, cautiously, "Is that a racial ability?"

 

And even later, the giant, for destroying a church, is smushed by one of the Seraphim in this fantasy world, and is lying in, basically, a puddle on the ground. The Priest walks up to the puddle, points, and declares, "Not so tall NOW, are you?"

 

There were also several readings from The Book of the Creator, but I was always laughing too hard to write them down.

 

Overall, it was a LOT of fun, and absolutely hilarious. I'll post more as I remember them. ^ v ^

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Later' date=' we're fighting a giant, and my character (elven archer) makes a called shot to the vitals, and deals enough damage to separate that part from the rest of the giant. At the (mostly-male) table, I get eyed, then the guy playing the priest asks, cautiously, "Is that a racial ability?"[/quote']

 

"That's an Elven Bris."

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

In our Sci-Fi game I play a robot who is based off of HK-47 from Knights Of The Old Republic. I fill the combat expert role.

 

Anyways we found a ship adrift in space the people on it where alive but there engines had been destroyed when they fought off a pirate attack. The pirate group was one we had been up against before so we helped the stranded ship. We got them to a hidden place and gave them what they would need to fix their engines. Then we went back to where we found them to salvage what we could from the wrecked pirate ship.

 

Long story short we get captured. We get taken to Captain Vess and he starts into a long speech about how he should kill us now for helping his enemies and how he still owes us for what we did to him last time. Then he finishes by saying if we tell him where the other ship is he'll let us go and call it even and forgive us for defying him. The he was waiting expectently for our answer.

 

Me: I'm sorry, I turned off my audio receptors, were you saying something?

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