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Darren Watts

Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Some quotes from Sunday's D&D 3.5 game. And I'll start by apologizing in advance to anyone here from Tennessee:

 

Il'Marcum (OOC): If a couple in Tennessee get divorced, are they still brother and sister?

 

The prior session, we were tracking down Teva, who is our rogue Devlyn's former teacher. Teva had information sought by big-bad-evil necromancer Cinedra, whose underlings kidnapped Teva and transformed her first into a horse, and then into a saddle. We stole the saddle while it was enroute to Cinedra, but got spotted. Also, we found out what Teva knew and an angry Devlyn only allowed us to reverse the latter transformation, so Teva is still a horse.

 

The party is now in Coven, attending a festival, when Cinedra shows up and begins questioning our party members individually, starting with Il'Marcum.

 

Cinedra: Why would you concern yourself with a 2-bit thief?

Il'Marcum: ... Devlyn?

 

Best without context:

Leila: Is his dog as big as my dog?

 

Later that evening, Cinedra shows up at Leila's birthday party dinner at a fancy restaurant.

 

Aren (patting the wall behind him and speaking to waiter): This isn't a load-bearing wall, is it?

 

Il'Marcum (to Leila): Embrace the fear.

 

Yllek (to Cinedra): So, raise anybody interesting lately?

 

Ryan has been trying to recruit teammates into his employ for when his father steps aside and Ryan becomes the next baron.

 

Il'Marcum: You're trusting Devlyn and I, aren't you?

Ryan: You're just looking for "Grand Vizier," aren't you?

 

Last time we saw Cinedra, she had dozens of face- and body-piercings. But now she looks very different...

 

Cinedra: No piercings. It was a phase.

Yllek (OOC): She got enough XP to buy off all the OIFs. (pause) Oh, wait, wrong game.

 

Cinedra: I thought Teva would have an ounce of decency, but no...

Ryan: Well, she can give pony rides.

 

GM: ... unless you guys are asking for trouble."

Il'Marcum: I'd like 2 orders of trouble, please!

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

BunnySue has started up her Pulps Champions campaign - "Chronicles of the Agency." (Or "Agents of the Agency" or "The Legion of Justice and Pie" depending on who you ask.) Here's a batch of quotes from our first resumed session.

 

You missed one!

 

We are introduced to the leader of the tribe -- Chieftain Tarvak...

Rocket Ranger: Chieftain? I thought they had, like, czars or something in Russia?

Havok: No, not for several decades now.

Rocket Ranger: So what do they have now?

Mighty Huntress: Chieftains. Duh. :winkgrin:

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Taped sessions? Cheater! How are those of us who scribble down lines as they come up supposed to compete with that?

 

Well, we were also taping them so I could send them to one of my players who's now overseas

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Ah !

That is how you remember all those quotes.

I was always wondering.

 

actually we only started taping the last three sessions. Usually we jot them down as we go along

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Well' date=' we were also taping them so I could send them to one of my players who's now overseas[/quote']

 

In that case, carry on. :P

 

Here's another from last week's game:

 

GM [as a professor in a wizard's college]: Class, who can tell me about Belron?

Player 1: Who's Belron?

Player 2: Belron Hubbard?

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

"I'm not sure what's more galling, the fact that you tried to hide behind me, or the fact that you tried to hide behind me when I'm three and a half feet tall."

 

"I just had a thought."

"Treat it kindly, it's in a strange place."

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Clive: "Jetpack Nazis made me late for work. Fuckin' jetpack Nazis."

 

Calvin: (Nodding) "Yeah. Fuckin' jetpack Nazis."

 

Clive: "Yep, they were holding up the toolbooth. Jetpack fuel's spendy. When they fly in formation, their exhausts are tuned to play the Horst Wessel Lied. I recognized it even though one of them was out of tune. It sounded awful. Dumbass nearly crashed into one of the toll booths. Slowed traffic for miles. It was about 2PM yesterday. I was on on the way to the office, fuckers were flying so low they took off my antenna, and then that happened. I mean, really how hard is it to tune a jetpack?"

 

--------------------

 

This actually wouldn't be that weird a quote, except the game was Vampire, modern era.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Clive: "Jetpack Nazis made me late for work. Fuckin' jetpack Nazis."

 

Calvin: (Nodding) "Yeah. Fuckin' jetpack Nazis."

 

Clive: "Yep, they were holding up the toolbooth. Jetpack fuel's spendy. When they fly in formation, their exhausts are tuned to play the Horst Wessel Lied. I recognized it even though one of them was out of tune. It sounded awful. Dumbass nearly crashed into one of the toll booths. Slowed traffic for miles. It was about 2PM yesterday. I was on on the way to the office, fuckers were flying so low they took off my antenna, and then that happened. I mean, really how hard is it to tune a jetpack?"

 

--------------------

 

This actually wouldn't be that weird a quote, except the game was Vampire, modern era.

Would Clive, by any chance, be a Malkavian?

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Not many quotes this week. The D&D was postponed on account of illness' date=' and the Cthulhu wasn't taped (sorry,
userinfo.gif
). More importantly, the players didn't buggerise around as much this session. Indeed, I was very pleased with them - they followed all the clues and trails of inquiry, and discovered everything they needed to resolve the case.
WOW!! You actually have PC's that.. SOLVED... AN INTELLECTUAL PROBLEM.... without just KILLING EVERYONE!?!?

 

Urge to Clone...rising.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

WOW!! You actually have PC's that.. SOLVED... AN INTELLECTUAL PROBLEM.... without just KILLING EVERYONE!?!?

 

*winces* believe me, it was close. I had to reset the last hour of the previous session, otherwise they would have shot a small-town cop and started a bloodbath.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Session 9 of Qin: The Warring States

 

The cast:

Black Cloud, a retired wu xia turned baker

Bu Ya, a calligrapher and vagabond

Silent Mountain, a wu xia and doctor

Wandering Vine, a barbarian, horse trainer, and internal alchemist

 

"There's Chu over there."

"Next to swallow."

"Under Chin."

"Near the throat."

 

"I never thought to have a fight in a bowling alley on fire."

 

We settle on a name for Wandering Vine's old horse: "Crone-Slayer."

 

We settle on a name for Wandering Vine's new horse: "Meatshield."

 

Wandering Vine gives his tactical plans, ending with: "And... f**k them."

Silent Mountain "I didn't know you could do that as an action."

 

"Horse-Slayer Bu Ya."

 

The GM: "Her face is covered in blood."

Bu Ya: "Most of it mine."

 

"What's the oil-squeezing roll?"

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

*winces* believe me' date=' it was close. I had to reset the last hour of the previous session, otherwise they would have shot a small-town cop and started a bloodbath.[/quote']You say that like it's a bad thing.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

You say that like it's a bad thing.

 

 

I guess it would depend on whether or not the small-town cop was a Deep One, a

worshipper of one of the Mythos' mind-blastingly ugly beasties, or some hybrid a-

bomination looking for a new girlfriend.

 

That's the thing that I've noticed about CoC -- there's varying levels of Bad Thing-

ness just waiting to frell over some poor dumb, unsuspecting b******s.

 

But only in Drhoz's campaigns do the PCs have the added worry of Porn Singularities

and spontaneously-generated Smut Fields(Tm) to make their lives... interesting.

Major Tom 2009 :eg:

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

*winces* believe me' date=' it was close. I had to reset the last hour of the previous session, otherwise they would have shot a small-town cop and started a bloodbath.[/quote']

 

You say that like it's a bad thing.

 

I guess it would depend on whether or not the small-town cop was a Deep One, a

worshipper of one of the Mythos' mind-blastingly ugly beasties, or some hybrid a-

bomination looking for a new girlfriend.

 

That's the thing that I've noticed about CoC -- there's varying levels of Bad Thing-

ness just waiting to frell over some poor dumb, unsuspecting b******s.

 

But only in Drhoz's campaigns do the PCs have the added worry of Porn Singularities

and spontaneously-generated Smut Fields(Tm) to make their lives... interesting.

 

He was none of the above. Just a perfectly ordinary human who'd been involved in a raid on a cult 11 years before and was still a bit touchy on the subject.

 

And my wife has missed the last few sessions, so we were a bit light on porn singularities. Although the party did learn that it's unwise to dack McGinty in a warehouse that's rapidly turned into Castrovalva. THAT earned me the only scream of the session

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Quotes from last night’s S-Squad Champions game:

 

[Part One]

 

The heroes return to their base after fighting the Brute Squad, and discover they have been burglarized by PSI, who got in the front door with two PSI members posing as UNTIL agents.

 

Subliminal: PRIMUS has been compromised.

Synergy: Not PRIMUS -- UNTIL.

Subliminal: Same b*tch.

 

The heroes are irritated that PSI stole a bunch of the heroes’ trophies and powerful items taken from various villains, including an extra-dimensional gateway disguised as a wooden door (taken from DEMON).

 

Synergy: Y’know, I so miss the volcano lair.

 

Korvath’s Door had been set up at the end of a fake, dead-end hallway with lots of “DO NOT ENTER” and “DANGER” signs. Reviewing security camera footage, they see Alpha and Omega approach the door. Alpha is about to open the door when precognitive Omega warns him off.

 

GM: While Alpha consults some notes [detailing how to deactivate the door], Omega turns directly to the hidden camera behind them, winks, blows a kiss, mimes a phone, and mouths the words “Call Me!”

 

Synergy’s girlfriend is working on the election campaign for an up-and-coming politician.

 

GM: He’s handsome, charming, and he seems to care about all the right things.

Subliminal: So he’s buzzword compliant.

 

Background: Over a year ago, solo NPC Rubicon gave a power stone to Synergy to help him perform some simple magic spells. Now, that power stone starts to vibrate like a cell phone ringing. When Synergy touches the power stone, a cheesy hologram appears of Rubicon in a white robe, with two cinnamon rolls strapped to the sides of his head.

 

Rubicon: Help me, Obi-Wan Synergy! You’re my only hope!

 

Since Rubicon doesn’t answer Synergy’s phone calls, Synergy alerts his teammates. Subliminal decides he’s going to teleport to Rubicon’s house, but wants some backup (preferably ambulance driver/EMT Sentinel). He arrives at her place to find her having dinner with her husband and teen daughter (Sarah, aka Shepherd)

 

Subliminal: So, is our cab driver for the sick available? If you don’t want to go, I can always take Shepherd along instead.

 

They arrive at Rubicon’s house, which has been in his family for generations.

 

GM: Okay, you luck out and appear out of sight behind the firetrucks. The entire building is ablaze.

 

Using Sentinel’s x-ray vision, the heroes find Rubicon in his basement sanctum, wrapped in vines and looking like he’s about 98 years old. Missing are all of his power stones as well as his “assistant,” Tom the Tome of Ancient Arcana, taken by recurring foe Ravager and several of his teammates, known as…

 

GM: … the Ravagers.

Subliminal: Ravager may be powerful, but he’s not very creative when it comes to names.

 

Unable to locate Tom the Tome, the heroes eventually figure out that Ravager somehow has gotten Korvath’s door from PSI. Styx calls a girl that he met a while back named Tracy. She also happens to be Omega, the precog from PSI; unbeknownst to the rest of S-Squad, she gave Styx some useful info in exchange for him letting her go free.

 

Styx: Hey, Trace, how’s it going?

Omega: Pretty good! Sorry I missed you when we stopped by earlier this week.

(snip minor chit-chat)

Styx: So, are you guys working with Ravager now?

Omega: (long pause) We are definitely *not* working for Ravager. He and his friends are very… distasteful individuals.

Styx (catching her carefully reworded answer): For. With. Okay, I get it. Well, gotta run. Talk to you later.

Omega: Take care. Oh, and when Cremator really loses, it… duck.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

[Part Two]

 

At Rubicon’s suggestion, the heroes go back to the old house where they initially found the door. It is a spooky-looking deserted old mansion with a detached garage, two towers, and…

 

GM: … a gazebo. [Note: If you hadn’t heard the story of the Dread Gazebo before, go to http://www.dreadgazebo.com/index.php?name=News&file=article&sid=8.]

Subliminal: I shoot it!

Synergy (to Rubicon): So, do you happen to have an Animate Gazebo spell in your arsenal?

Subliminal: It would be unstoppable! You can’t kill a Gazebo!

 

Discussing how they’re going to sneak in on the Ravagers, Styx mis-pronounces a word.

 

Styx: We’ll use camo-flugey

Subliminal: Invisible to clergy?!

 

Knowing Hellhound is there, they want a way to mess with his ability to track and target their scents.

 

Subliminal: I’ll bring a bunch of dead raccoons and throw ‘em on the floor. When Hellhound smells them, he won’t be able to help himself. He’s gotta rooooooolllll in it.

 

Despite Subliminal’s invisibility, Harvester runs right up to him.

 

Harvester: WHERE IS SHE?!?! [referring to Sentinel]

Subliminal (OOC): I point over my shoulder.

GM: He can’t see you, he can just sense your life essence.

Subliminal (OOC): Well, I could tell him, but since I’m invisible to all Hearing, he won’t be able to hear me either.

 

After Harvester slashes and CON-stuns Subliminal, Sentinel uses Find Weakness on Harvester, then gives him a 12d6 blast of STUN-only radiation.

 

GM: Well, against your attack, he has a massive ED of 8, since his normal ED is 15. Of course, there’s also his 50% damage reduction… (covers mouth and stage whispers) … that doesn’t work against radiation.

 

It seems Cremator rather dislikes Styx for something that happened a while back in the game.

 

Cremator: You left me in the ice age for five years! FIVE!!! YEARS!!!

Styx: Don’t blame me, it was your boss here that sent all of us back there.

GM: And we won’t mention the fact that his boss *could* have gone back and rescued him five minutes after all of you left, but chose to wait a few years instead.

Styx: So, Cremator, how does wooly mammoth taste?

 

Ravager, carrying Tom the Tome, tries to turn invisible but misses his Magic Skill roll so the Side Effects kick in.

 

GM: He gestures, chants a few words… and then there’s a bright flash right in his face, blinding him. Ravager starts cursing…

Styx: ...and we hear Tom chortling.

 

I was rolling like crap for the villains, and Cremator and Electrocutioner were both completely unable to hit anybody all night.

 

Subliminal: Hey, Electrocutioner, there’s a bet whether you or Cremator will hit somebody first.

 

Using a metal tine ripped from a forklift (Styx was itching for a rematch with Electrocutioner, whom he vowed to kill), Styx smashes Cremater in the face, rolling massively well and knocking Cremator out in one hit.

 

GM: You one-shotted him…

Subliminal: But did he STUN him?

GM: (incredulous pause) ...Y’think?!?!

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Its been a while since Ive posted. Sorry about that...Hope these make up for that a bit

 

-----------

Metreon (OOC): My next character is going to be a Bard.

 

Chyra (OOC): I thought you said your next character was going to be a Monk?

 

Metreon (OOC): A Monk-Bard! :D

 

GM: The rhythm IS gonna get you!

 

----------------

 

Varga(OOC): So, basically, the Persians gave the Celts the bagpipe as a practical joke, and the Scotts havent caught on yet.

 

Metreon (OOC): And now, of course, Persia is known as Iran...

 

GM: Meaning that it was basically the first WMD

 

Rhiannon (OOC): "Thats MC Akhmadenijhad, to you!" :P

 

-------------------

 

Metreon (OOC): Like LOL Jesus..."I can haz salvation?"

 

-------------

 

Varga's attractive sister Helda is sneaking up on bad guys. The GM describes how she does this cat-like, on all fours, with her backside in the air. This lead to the following not-quite-in-character conversation...

 

Metreon: *drools*

 

Rhiannon: *stage whisper* Its easier for her to sneak when you arent MOTORBOATING her @$$-cheeks!

 

Metreon: *indignant* My dear, you simply do NOT understand the demands of the Arcane Arts!

 

---------------

 

We loot a lair

 

Metraon (semi-OOC): Look! "I was a Draconian Sex Slave" was my favorite underground scroll last year!

 

Rhiannon (semi-OOC): Im waiting for it to come out on Palantir. ;P

 

------------

 

Evil Draconian Spellcaster: *Dimension Doors in and starts talking smack to us about how much trouble we are in now that hes here*

 

Varga and Rhiannon: *Flank and spank*

 

Metreon: *Casts Dimensional Anchor* Neat entrance!....I brought fighters....I see you came alone. *Rocks up on the balls of his feet and smirks just like Johnny Carson*

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Originally posted by input.jack:

 

Varga and Rhiannon: *Flank and spank*

 

 

You know, with maneuvers like that, it'll only be a matter of time before they wind

up being the straight-women to a certain Robot Skeleton Sidekick (Tm)...

Major Tom 2009 :sneaky:

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Good old Palladium Villains. I have seen them do so much better.

CES

 

They usually do. Some days, you roll hot, or at least okay. But last Sunday, not so much. Subliminal got spanked when Harvester sliced him, stunning him. And after his force field dropped, Ravager hit Subliminal with a 15d6 PB, doing 10 BODY (past defenses) to him and sending him to visit GM-Discretion-Land. But I think Subliminal was the only one (other than the NPC Rubicon, who received a critical hit from Hellhound) that took anything beyond trivial damage. I'm pretty sure Styx did more damage to himself doing move-throughs than the villains did to him. It was very sad.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

While Sentinel is trying to sneak-attack Esper, she is herself sneak-attacked and KO’d by Shrinker. And then, the next phase, Shrinker blasts her again, doing 2x STUN and sending Sentinel into GM-Discretion-Land. (This is something the PCs do constantly to the villains but I don’t often do.)

 

Serendipity: That’s not fair!!!

GM: It’s not? You guys do that all the time!

Serendipity: But… not immediately!

GM: Yes! You! Do!

 

GM mental note: Do this again, and have the player of the KO’d character run one of the villains. Should be fun.

 

Heh. My players do that pretty unashamedly as long as it doesn't do body

 

"He twitching?"

"No."

"Does he look like he MIGHT twitch?"

"Well..possibly. Your knowledge skill roll does remind you that rapid healing aka regeneration is one of his powers."

"I do the sombrero dance on his head"

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Heh. My players do that pretty unashamedly as long as it doesn't do body

 

"He twitching?"

"No."

"Does he look like he MIGHT twitch?"

"Well..possibly. Your knowledge skill roll does remind you that rapid healing aka regeneration is one of his powers."

"I do the sombrero dance on his head"

 

How very heroic...

 

I like to interpret the rules' description of 0 to -9 Stun as a character who is reeling, but does not necessarily lose his footing, as an indicator that, by the heroes' perception, he is stunned, but not out of the fight. This justifies an additional strike which (as the character is mechanically KO'd) does double stun without forcing the "noble heroes" to routinely kick a man when he's down.

 

I agree with Serendipity's GM - the standard operating procedures of the heroes would need to be pretty unusual to be unique to them. Surely others have figured out that hitting a guy when he's down reduces the odds he'll get back up, and most villains would have much less trouble with that tactic than many heroes.

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