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Marvel's Best "Bricks"


Hermit

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Re: Marvel's Best "Bricks"

 

Okay, Hyperion, Gladiator, Nefaria, Hercules, Hulk, the Thing, and Thor go into a bar.

 

 

 

 

Who has the highest bar tab?

 

Hercules, easily. Some of the others may be more powerful then him, some of the others may be better fighters then him but since Marvel canon basically says Herc is basically an Olympian fratboy they'll never buy more booze then he does. ;)

 

Does Hulk even drink?

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Re: Marvel's Best "Bricks"

 

Out of that list? I'd go with Herc' date=' he strikes me as the sort who buys rounds for all his friends as well :)[/quote']

 

You make a good point Hermit. :)

 

Also I suspect it would depend on which version of the Hulk showed up. Joe Fixit might have a chance of keeping up with Herc's bar tab, but Classic Hulk and the Professor probably don't.

 

I suspect Nefaria would leave as soon as possible however, as he'd consider boozing for the sake of boozing to be beneath him.

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Re: Marvel's Best "Bricks"

 

Well, since I'm choosing by how much I like the characters...

 

1. The Thing, cause no one's ever topping old blue-eyes in my book.

 

2. Thor, because I like Norse mythology, and he was one of the first superheroes I ever read about.

 

3. Hulk. Had to put old Greenskin in the top five, after all.

 

4. Juggernaut. Because he's unstoppable, has taken on all the other heavy hitters and made a good showing, and hey, anyone who beats up the X-Men can't be all bad. :)

 

5. Wonder Man. Heck, he once took on the whole Avengers (before joining them), and has become one of the Grade-A bricks since.

 

I was thinking of listing Absorbing Man, but his strength depends on what he touches. That, and he's so stupid just about anyone smarter than the Savage Hulk can outwit him.

 

She-Hulk I like for her "va-va-voom!" factor. Proof that sometimes it is easy being green.

 

Is Wrecker and his Wrecking Crew still around? I really did like them.

 

Mister Hyde was once Thor-class tough, but seems condemned to perpetual wanna-be status these days.

 

Are any of the Marvel monsters potential nominees? There was monster-turned-hero, It the Living Colossus, and I remember the Midgard Serpent AKA Jormungand pimpslapping Thor pretty good once. And hey, you gotta stick up for family. ;)

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Re: Marvel's Best "Bricks"

 

Magneto?!??!?!

 

I thought this was odd too, until I read his listing on the marvel directory, where it says that using his magnetic powers, he can increase his strength to class 100.....which seems like an unfair way to judge his strength if you ask me, since technically it would be his magnetism doing the lifting, not his muscle.

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Re: Marvel's Best "Bricks"

 

1. Aunt Petunia's favorite Nephew. (I always liked how he constantly has an eye out for being "cured" because when all is said and done, Ben would rather not be a big orange rocky monster).

2. Hulk (Because Hulk strongest there is!)

3. Wonderman (He's such a powerful hero, yet still an underdog when compared to Thor.)

4. Thor (I say thee NAY!!!!!! 'nuff said)

5. She-Hulk (At times, the most well-adjusted superhero in the MU)

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Re: Marvel's Best "Bricks"

 

Okay, Hyperion, Gladiator, Nefaria, Hercules, Hulk, the Thing, and Thor go into a bar.

 

 

And get completely wasted before starting the fight...

 

Hyperion: "You know guys I love ya..." "No I don't, I'm all Iron age now and going to kick your..." "See here, I'm a loving superman homage and..." "#$#$, I'm pure Iron Bad #$$ and going to kick their butts, and then go off to #$# Princess Power..." Hyperion continues to scream at himself unable to agree exactly what 'age' he should be in, until he knocks himself out when he finally loses his temper with himself.

 

Gladiator: Unable to hold earth booze, Gladiator nevertheless becomes supremely confident in his invulnerability. No one can hurt him, so he fliies up through the roof ready to come down in a massive group move through... and being unfamilar with Earth Geography and drunk to boot gets lost..-disqualified.

 

Nefaria ends up running to the bathroom whining on how puking is beneath him.

 

Hercules smiles goofily to Thor, "The geek hath been weeded out."

 

Thor grins, "Yeah verily."

 

Hulk: "Hulk Smashed!"

 

Thing: Looks left, looks right, notices no one is looking at HIM, and gets off the stool that is specially reinforced to carry his weight. He takes the stool and slams him HARD upside the back of the head, then tosses the now bent stool to Thor. When Hulk gets up to see who did that, he sees Thing jerking a thumb at the thundergod.

 

Thor: "Eh?"

 

Hulk: "Hulk smashed AND Smash!" Hulk attempts to punch Thor so hard Odin feels it. Clearly, things have gone from bad to norse.

 

Hercules laughs so much he falls off his own stool.

 

Thing: "Heh, been wanting to do that fer years. Less wrassle."

 

Hercules: Stands up, "Art thou certain thou wishes's s to fight the son o zuus craggy one? So be it!" Hercules comes in with his patented head grab and knee up to your face manuever.

 

In the background, Thor's aim with his hammer is a bit off, but his strength is undiminished. His throw misses the emerald behemoth and strikes a man named Mort Groverman in New Jersey, utterly obliterating him. Ironically, Mort won't mind this as the life insurance his wife collects will be enough to put both his kids through college and he ends up in Vallhalla being served by scantily clad buxom handmaidens with huge... tankards in their hands.

 

The Hulk grabs Thor by the hair, screams something vaguely homophobic and begins to slam him from side to side even as Thor tries to hammer him in the gut with several shots to the belly, and I don't mean the drinking kind.

 

However, Mjilonor, the only one of note able to go straight flies effortlessly back towards its master's hand. Hulk's head ends up being in the way, and the uru weapon kolkcoks him. Both gamma monster and Nordic deity are out.

 

Thing calls out "Look, it's Shulkie in a thong" and pulls a reversal when Herc gets distracted. Suddenly, Hercules is in the dreaded

'orange crush sleeper hold' but the Greek God has been wrestling for centuries (Though, like everyone else, the 60s were a blur for him) and is indeed the Prince of Power. He breaks the hold through might and slurred skill, and Ben realizes he's in trouble.

 

The two are the last standing, and it looks like a clear win for Hercules is in the making, but the Thing doesn't quit. Ben's bloodshot blue eyes spark with an idea, the only manuever that might get him out of this.

 

Charging forward, he sends both himself and Herc over the bar counter. There is a brief glimpse of fists rising up and coming down...

 

Then a lone figure rises from behind the bar.... The Thing. He lights a cigar victoriously, takes a puff, "Gotta thank Logan for setting THAT lame precedent. The Popularity Take down... works every time."

 

 

So Aunt Petunia's favorite sloshed nephew goes home a winner with a sexy bar maid who's into rock climbing.

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Re: Marvel's Best "Bricks"

 

Okay, Hyperion, Gladiator, Nefaria, Hercules, Hulk, the Thing, and Thor go into a bar.

 

 

 

 

Who has the highest bar tab?

 

It'd be pretty close, up until the door swung open and they all found themselves under the table, beaten by the Justice League's own Master of Malt Liquor, the Master of Margaritas, the Baron of Beer, the Duke of Daiquiris, the one and only ...

 

BOOZER GOLD!

 

 

What?

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Re: Marvel's Best "Bricks"

 

...Clearly' date=' things have gone from bad to norse...[/quote']

I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

 

So Aunt Petunia's favorite sloshed nephew goes home a winner with a sexy bar maid who's into rock climbing.

Ok, that redeems you.

 

Beautifully done. :thumbup:

 

 

:lol:

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Re: Marvel's Best "Bricks"

 

And get completely wasted before starting the fight...

 

Hyperion: "You know guys I love ya..." "No I don't, I'm all Iron age now and going to kick your..." "See here, I'm a loving superman homage and..." "#$#$, I'm pure Iron Bad #$$ and going to kick their butts, and then go off to #$# Princess Power..." Hyperion continues to scream at himself unable to agree exactly what 'age' he should be in, until he knocks himself out when he finally loses his temper with himself.

 

Gladiator: Unable to hold earth booze, Gladiator nevertheless becomes supremely confident in his invulnerability. No one can hurt him, so he fliies up through the roof ready to come down in a massive group move through... and being unfamilar with Earth Geography and drunk to boot gets lost..-disqualified.

 

Nefaria ends up running to the bathroom whining on how puking is beneath him.

 

Hercules smiles goofily to Thor, "The geek hath been weeded out."

 

Thor grins, "Yeah verily."

 

Hulk: "Hulk Smashed!"

 

Thing: Looks left, looks right, notices no one is looking at HIM, and gets off the stool that is specially reinforced to carry his weight. He takes the stool and slams him HARD upside the back of the head, then tosses the now bent stool to Thor. When Hulk gets up to see who did that, he sees Thing jerking a thumb at the thundergod.

 

Thor: "Eh?"

 

Hulk: "Hulk smashed AND Smash!" Hulk attempts to punch Thor so hard Odin feels it. Clearly, things have gone from bad to norse.

 

Hercules laughs so much he falls off his own stool.

 

Thing: "Heh, been wanting to do that fer years. Less wrassle."

 

Hercules: Stands up, "Art thou certain thou wishes's s to fight the son o zuus craggy one? So be it!" Hercules comes in with his patented head grab and knee up to your face manuever.

 

In the background, Thor's aim with his hammer is a bit off, but his strength is undiminished. His throw misses the emerald behemoth and strikes a man named Mort Groverman in New Jersey, utterly obliterating him. Ironically, Mort won't mind this as the life insurance his wife collects will be enough to put both his kids through college and he ends up in Vallhalla being served by scantily clad buxom handmaidens with huge... tankards in their hands.

 

The Hulk grabs Thor by the hair, screams something vaguely homophobic and begins to slam him from side to side even as Thor tries to hammer him in the gut with several shots to the belly, and I don't mean the drinking kind.

 

However, Mjilonor, the only one of note able to go straight flies effortlessly back towards its master's hand. Hulk's head ends up being in the way, and the uru weapon kolkcoks him. Both gamma monster and Nordic deity are out.

 

Thing calls out "Look, it's Shulkie in a thong" and pulls a reversal when Herc gets distracted. Suddenly, Hercules is in the dreaded

'orange crush sleeper hold' but the Greek God has been wrestling for centuries (Though, like everyone else, the 60s were a blur for him) and is indeed the Prince of Power. He breaks the hold through might and slurred skill, and Ben realizes he's in trouble.

 

The two are the last standing, and it looks like a clear win for Hercules is in the making, but the Thing doesn't quit. Ben's bloodshot blue eyes spark with an idea, the only manuever that might get him out of this.

 

Charging forward, he sends both himself and Herc over the bar counter. There is a brief glimpse of fists rising up and coming down...

 

Then a lone figure rises from behind the bar.... The Thing. He lights a cigar victoriously, takes a puff, "Gotta thank Logan for setting THAT lame precedent. The Popularity Take down... works every time."

 

 

So Aunt Petunia's favorite sloshed nephew goes home a winner with a sexy bar maid who's into rock climbing.

I love it!

I can dig it!

I'll endorse it!

You didn't force it.

:thumbup:

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Re: Marvel's Best "Bricks"

 

Okay, Hyperion, Gladiator, Nefaria, Hercules, Hulk, the Thing, and Thor go into a bar.

 

 

 

 

Who has the highest bar tab?

The Hulk, because they're all smarter than him and would duck out early, leaving him with the tab. (Unfortunately Uatu is the bartender, so Hulk can't just smash his way out of the bill.)

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