Bazza Posted May 10, 2023 Report Share Posted May 10, 2023 A French sofa belonging to nobility was lost during WW2, but has since been recovered. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted May 11, 2023 Report Share Posted May 11, 2023 BREAK-IN AT THE APPLE STORE! POLICE LOOKING FOR iWITNESSES mattingly 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted May 12, 2023 Report Share Posted May 12, 2023 I only learned 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know y. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted May 13, 2023 Report Share Posted May 13, 2023 I like to use "defenestrate" in casual conversation, whenever a window of opportunity presents itself. Pariah, Christougher and Rails 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rails Posted May 13, 2023 Report Share Posted May 13, 2023 Just had to throw that out there, didn't you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted May 13, 2023 Report Share Posted May 13, 2023 Yeah, he's kind of a pane. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ockham's Spoon Posted May 15, 2023 Report Share Posted May 15, 2023 Told my class that there was a fine line between a numerator and a denominator. Only a fraction of them found that amusing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ockham's Spoon Posted May 15, 2023 Report Share Posted May 15, 2023 If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and talks like a duck, then it could probably use a little more time in the microwave. Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted May 15, 2023 Report Share Posted May 15, 2023 A Möbius strip walked into a bar sobbing. The bartender asked, "Hey, buddy, what's the problem?" The Möbius strip said, "Where do I even begin?" Logan D. Hurricanes 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted May 15, 2023 Report Share Posted May 15, 2023 I thought I could see the end coming, but it just kept going. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted May 15, 2023 Report Share Posted May 15, 2023 Now, that's a one-sided comment and you know it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted May 15, 2023 Report Share Posted May 15, 2023 2 hours ago, Pariah said: A Möbius strip walked into a bar sobbing. The bartender asked, "Hey, buddy, what's the problem?" The Möbius strip said, "Where do I even begin?" Why was he even allowed in? The bartender should have kicked him out; it’s a bar not a strip joint. mattingly, Rails, Pariah and 1 other 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted May 15, 2023 Report Share Posted May 15, 2023 That kind of comment has a single raw edge to it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted May 16, 2023 Report Share Posted May 16, 2023 Husband: I saw a garbage disposal that's rated for bones. Me: Like, what kind? Finger, femur… there's a big difference. Him: Him: …or chicken. Me: Ohhh… that's probably what they mean. Him: *stares* Me: This is probably a "there's two kinds of people" moment. Pariah and Ockham's Spoon 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted May 17, 2023 Report Share Posted May 17, 2023 ROBBER: Everybody lie down! ME: [exhausted] Oh, thank god! mattingly and Ockham's Spoon 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted May 17, 2023 Report Share Posted May 17, 2023 Insurance companies are warning people that if their tents are stolen on a camping trip, they won't be covered. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted May 17, 2023 Report Share Posted May 17, 2023 My friend said, "My kid refuses to eat fish. What do you think is a good replacement?" Me: Cats. Cats love fish. Ockham's Spoon 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted May 18, 2023 Report Share Posted May 18, 2023 For a while Houdini used trap doors in every act, it was a stage he was going through. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted May 18, 2023 Report Share Posted May 18, 2023 Q: What do you get when you crash a Kia? Spoiler A: Nokia. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted May 19, 2023 Report Share Posted May 19, 2023 When my friend Joyce learned she could clone herself, she rejoiced. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted May 19, 2023 Report Share Posted May 19, 2023 "Coward" should really mean "to move in the direction of a cow" Ockham's Spoon 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted May 19, 2023 Report Share Posted May 19, 2023 Today I learned the leading cause of dry skin: Towels. Logan D. Hurricanes 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted May 19, 2023 Report Share Posted May 19, 2023 If you put your left shoe on the wrong foot, then it's on the right foot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted May 19, 2023 Report Share Posted May 19, 2023 These jokes are terrible. ( ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted May 21, 2023 Report Share Posted May 21, 2023 (edited) A man was having an affair with his secretary when they fell asleep at her home one night. They didn't wake up until about 8:00. As he slipped into his clothes, he asked his mistress to take his shoes outside and drag them through the grass and dirt. Confused, she did as he asked. He thanked her, kissed her good night, and drove home. When the man arrived home, his wife was livid. "Where have you been all this time?" she demanded. He said, "Okay, I'll tell you the truth. My secretary and I have been having an affair. I was over at her house, and we fell asleep." His wife took one look at his shoes and yelled, "Liar! You've been playing golf, haven't you?" Edited May 21, 2023 by Pariah Logan D. Hurricanes, Ockham's Spoon and wcw43921 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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