Christougher Posted June 5, 2023 Report Share Posted June 5, 2023 On 6/4/2023 at 8:46 AM, Bazza said: I also feel that Frank Castle should do quips like Spider-Man; after all, he is The Punisher. I've got that guy in my file to finish building one of these days... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted June 6, 2023 Report Share Posted June 6, 2023 Bilbo wakes up suddenly to DON'T STOP BELIEVIN. It was an unexpected Journey. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ockham's Spoon Posted June 7, 2023 Report Share Posted June 7, 2023 A cop pulled me over and looking at me said "Your eyes are awfully red. Have you been drinking?" I replied "Well, your eyes are glazed, have you been eating donuts?" We both laughed and laughed. I need bail money. Hermit, Logan D. Hurricanes and Pariah 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted June 7, 2023 Report Share Posted June 7, 2023 The inventor of autocorrect died. The funnel will be held tomato. tkdguy 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted June 7, 2023 Report Share Posted June 7, 2023 "THE FLOOR IS LAVA' -Everyone, Pompeii, 79 A.D. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ockham's Spoon Posted June 8, 2023 Report Share Posted June 8, 2023 My wife asked me what I did this afternoon. I told her I cleared out some space in the freezer. I figured that sounded better than saying I polished off a tub of ice cream. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted June 9, 2023 Report Share Posted June 9, 2023 Q: Which celebrity is always ready for soup? Spoiler A: Reese, with her spoon. wcw43921 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted June 9, 2023 Report Share Posted June 9, 2023 ✔️ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted June 9, 2023 Report Share Posted June 9, 2023 I saw a thing on the Book of Face soliciting answers to "My first concert was _______." So I replied, "Sixth grade band. We were awful." Ockham's Spoon, BoloOfEarth and mattingly 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ockham's Spoon Posted June 9, 2023 Report Share Posted June 9, 2023 My neighbors with young children complained that they can hear my loud groans during morning sex while they are trying to get their kids ready for school. I explained to them I was just trying to put on my socks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BoloOfEarth Posted June 9, 2023 Report Share Posted June 9, 2023 8 hours ago, Pariah said: I saw a thing on the Book of Face soliciting answers to "My first concert was _______." So I replied, "Sixth grade band. We were awful." A former coworker and her husband once went to their kids' concert, and after they played, my coworker noticed her husband wasn't clapping. She asked him why, and he replied, "Because they sucked!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted June 11, 2023 Report Share Posted June 11, 2023 What do you call a gassy fairy? Stinkerbell. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ockham's Spoon Posted June 11, 2023 Report Share Posted June 11, 2023 Sign posted on the fence of a farmer's field: "Farmer allows walkers to freely cross this field, but the bull charges." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted June 11, 2023 Report Share Posted June 11, 2023 Sign posted on the fence of a farmer's field: "If you wish to cross this field, you'd better be able to do it in 9 seconds. The bull can do it in 10." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted June 12, 2023 Report Share Posted June 12, 2023 me: Sometimes I talk to myself. me: OMG same. Christougher 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted June 12, 2023 Report Share Posted June 12, 2023 Better reply is: "But do you listen? Nooooooo...." tkdguy 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted June 13, 2023 Report Share Posted June 13, 2023 Ten worst breeds of dog: 10. There 9. are 8. no 7. bad 6. dogs, 5. the 4. owners 3. are 2. bad 1. chihuahuas slikmar and Pariah 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted June 13, 2023 Report Share Posted June 13, 2023 Precisely correct on all counts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted June 13, 2023 Report Share Posted June 13, 2023 Me: I have many hidden talents. Them: Like what? Me: I don't know. They're all hidden. Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted June 15, 2023 Report Share Posted June 15, 2023 Q: What do you call a dead snail? Spoiler A: Escarghost. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ockham's Spoon Posted June 16, 2023 Report Share Posted June 16, 2023 I got an email from my parents that included a zip file with 42 photos of their recent trip to Yellowstone National Park. I knew right away it was a phishing scam. Parents send way more pictures than that. Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted June 17, 2023 Report Share Posted June 17, 2023 I'm so poor, I rub cologne from magazines on my shirt. When people say "Oh you smell good, what is that?" I say, "Page 12." wcw43921 and Pariah 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted June 17, 2023 Report Share Posted June 17, 2023 The difference between men and women: Woman 1: "Am I fat?" Woman 2: "OMG no, you're a beautiful goddess!" Man 1: "Am I fat?" Man 2: "Dude, I know like five fat people and you're three of them." Logan D. Hurricanes, tkdguy, BoloOfEarth and 1 other 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted June 19, 2023 Report Share Posted June 19, 2023 Them: "Why aren't you returning my text messages? Are you mad at me?" Me: "No, I'm reading." Them: "Okay. What are you reading?" Me: "Harry Potter and the Death of the Person Not Letting Me Read." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted June 19, 2023 Report Share Posted June 19, 2023 Good book however the BDSMS was a bit to…textual. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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