Jump to content
Cassandra

Random Television Quotes

Recommended Posts

Norman Stanley Fletcher, you have pleaded guilty to the charges brought by this court, and it is now my duty to pass sentence. You are an habitual criminal, who accepts arrest as an occupational hazard, and presumably accepts imprisonment in the same casual manner. We therefore feel constrained to commit you to the maximum term allowed for these offences: you will go to prison for five years.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Gentlemen, you are about to enter the most important and fascinating sphere of police work: the world of forensic medicine, where untold victims of many homicides will reach back from the grave and point back a finger accusingly at their assailant.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
9 hours ago, Greywind said:

Gentlemen, you are about to enter the most important and fascinating sphere of police work: the world of forensic medicine, where untold victims of many homicides will reach back from the grave and point back a finger accusingly at their assailant.

I missed that episode of Quincy

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

"'Pineapple Salad? Is that some type of code?"

 

" I don't think you'd realize how terrified I'd get every time you fly off on a combat mission. It's almost as if you pilots think that it's some kind of wonderful game when you're off on those Veritechs."

" It's never been a game, Claudia. Maybe someday you'll understand that."

"Anyway, I've said what I had in my mind and I promised I'll keep my mouth shut about it in the future. [turns to Roy and holds finished pineapple salad high] Dinner's ready. [sees Roy not strumming guitar while putting salad on table] What? Well, don't tell me I put you to sleep. Is anything wrong?"

"Oh. Ohhhh..."[slumps from sofa]

" Roy?" [gasps upon seeing wounds]" ROY!?!?" [cries]

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

"I have a file with 900 pages of analysis and contingency plans for war with Mars, including fourteen scenarios about what to do if they develop an unexpected new technology.  My file for what to do if an advanced alien species comes calling is three pages long, and it begins with, "Step 1:  Find God."

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

"The morning is evil."

 

"Your best friend is a polar bear dog. Somehow, that makes perfect sense."

 

"And Bolin loses his noodles! Literally. Which reminds me, this match is brought to you by our sponsor, Flameo Instant Noodles! Noodliest noodles in the United Republic."

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

"The Universe is vast, and we are so small. There is really only one thing we can ever truly control."

 

"What's that?"

 

"Whether we are good or evil."

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Here I am, brain the size of a planet, and they tell me to take you up to the bridge. Call that job satisfaction ? Cause I don't.

 

And then of course I've got this terrible pain in all the diodes down my left side.

 

Sorry, did I say something wrong ? Pardon me for breathing which I never do anyway so I don't know why I bother to say it oh God I'm so depressed.

 

You think you've got problems. What are you supposed to do if you are a manically depressed robot ? No, don't even bother answering. I'm 50,000 times more intelligent than you and even I don't know the answer.

 

The first ten million years were the worst. And the second ten million: they were the worst, too. The third ten million I didn't enjoy at all. After that, I went into a bit of a decline.

 

"Reverse primary thrust, Marvin." That's what they say to me. "Open airlock number 3, Marvin." "Marvin, can you pick up that piece of paper ?" Here I am, brain the size of a planet, and they ask me to pick up a piece of paper.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

"So, now you are King, as was your wish. I salute you from the dead. Hail Eldrad! King... of nothing."

 

"Killing me isn't going to help you. It isn't going to do me much good either."

 

"Answers are easy. It's asking the right questions which is hard."

 

"Why are you putting fire in your mouth?"
"Good lord. Has the girl never seen a pipe before?"
"There's no tobacco where Leela comes from."
"Sounds healthy, but exceedingly dull."

 

"Sometimes my brilliance astonishes even me."

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

“Men are not men on the battlefield. We turn into some other creature. you can do the cruellest things… It doesn’t even matter if it’s an order or not. To protect yourself, your mind shuts out any emotions you have. It’s like a steel door. But once the war is over, you can’t keep it closed forever.”

 

“Any man who has the brains to think and the nerve to act for the benefit of the people of the country, is considered a radical, by those who are content with stagnation and willing to endure disaster.” 

 

“In order to obtain something, there must be something of equal value. It is the law of conservation in alchemy. Back then, we believed that it was the truth of the world. However, the real world isn’t perfect, so there is not just a single law that governs everything that happens within it.”

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

"All right, Carter, do your thing. Reynolds, I want flanking positions set up on either side of the clearing."

 

"Roger that."

 

"Rig the perimeter with C4 and Claymores."

 

"Not much faith in Plan A?"

 

"Since when has Plan A ever worked?"

 

"Right."

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

×
×
  • Create New...