Narf the Mouse Posted June 5, 2011 Report Share Posted June 5, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Investigating an alliance between the Black Aces, DEMON, and a side mission to deal with a weapons cache. Deserich: I don't understand it - why would the Black Aces want to steal skeletons? ROVER : Attention. Incoming Transmission. ARGENT-Illegal Weapons Cache. Improperly Stored. No. Child-proof Locks. On Cabinets. Deserich : Maybe it's one of those religions older than Christianity. ROVER: Suggestion : We Should. Apprehend. Think Of. The Children. Deserich : What? Apprehend them? Who? The Aces, ARGENT, or Christianity? ROVER : *click... click... click* Either/Or. Don't worry; we love you despite your opinions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Tom 2009 Posted June 5, 2011 Report Share Posted June 5, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Originally posted by Drhoz: Zombie ROVER: C.P.U.sssssss......C.P.U.sssssss. I suspect that, in a BSG campaign, that Zombie ROVER's next comment (delivered over a radio) would be "Send more Toastersssss..." Major Tom 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drhoz Posted June 5, 2011 Report Share Posted June 5, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Originally posted by Drhoz: Zombie ROVER: C.P.U.sssssss......C.P.U.sssssss. I suspect that, in a BSG campaign, that Zombie ROVER's next comment (delivered over a radio) would be "Send more Toastersssss..." Heehee Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drhoz Posted June 5, 2011 Report Share Posted June 5, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Don't worry; we love you despite your opinions. It was a fluke straight-line I couldn't pass up Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ragitsu Posted June 5, 2011 Report Share Posted June 5, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... "I thought you said you was a con" "Well yeah" "What'd you steal? Guns? Drugs?" "No, limited edition Furbies" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IndianaJoe3 Posted June 5, 2011 Report Share Posted June 5, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... "What'd you steal? Guns? Drugs?" "No, limited edition Furbies" "And they all moved away from me..." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
concord Posted June 5, 2011 Report Share Posted June 5, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... A few quotes from a few sessions ago in the Wardens Chronicles campaign... I am still trying to catch up on getting all of the sessions documented, five down two more to go... +++++ "That was too easy," says Judah as he greets his teammates after the ceremony. "We did not put out an ad, Warden to be married on isolated mountain side ideal time to attack, please bring rice," responds Karex. "Bring fireworks," comments Judah. "Fireworks, I only brought fish. You need to tell me these customs in advance," scolds Karex. +++++ "The reception theme is the eighties," announces Judah. "So we bring stone clubs?" queries Karex. "The 1980s," replies Judah. "Oh, I thought you meant B.C.," responds Karex. +++++ "Didn't the people of this land use to eat all the Buffalo?" asks Karex when asked why he eats the whole lobster. "No, they used the bones and skins for tepees and other things," responds Eon. "How do you keep your scales strong?" queries Karex. "I don't have scales," replies Eon. "Yes, you are scale deficient," states Karex. "But those others we just encountered seem to have overcome that problem." +++++ "Eon teleported us somewhere," comments Karex. "No I didn’t," responds Eon. "Maybe this is the arena as Eon challenged Rextor the Warrior," says Karex. "It better not be, there are innocents here," replies Eon. +++++ "Maybe we are in another dimension," says Amethyst. "Maybe it is just an illusion," states Karex. +++++ "Maybe we are in another dimension," says Dot Dash. "Maybe it is just an illusion," states Amber. "Clap your hands and sing if you think this is not real," says Karex. "No, it is click you heels three times and say there is no place like home," says Eon. "Don't do that until you are with the rest of us, we don't want to be left behind," responds Karex. +++++ "They said it was strange energy and it changed their perception," relates Eon about what the Xenexis had told him. "It is an illusion." exclaims Dot Dash. "No more as if they had changed places," responds Eon. "Lets sing the 'we don't believe this is real song'," says Karex. The team continues the discussion on whether or not the place is an illusion or another dimension. "Maybe this is Indigo's dream and we are all in it," posits Karex. "Maybe someone should wake her up." +++++ "Don't be a silly, touch the damn crystal," demands Karex. "Karex watch your language," warns Dot Dash. "Okay, I will not call him a silly anymore." responds Karex. +++++ "So, we all planned that," states Eon. "Did everyone have fun?" "You had better be kidding," replies Rebecca. +++++ "It is not my uniform," states Karex as he examines the garment. "I would never wear such a low quality outfit." +++++ "Thank you mistress," says Taurex as he bows to Indigo. "Do I know you?" asks Indigo. "No, but I wish to learn from you," responds Taurex then with another bow, he introduces himself as Taurex the Apprentice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Narf the Mouse Posted June 5, 2011 Report Share Posted June 5, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... It was a fluke straight-line I couldn't pass up I do get your point; however, *Taking it to PM* Edit: Not flaming him, folks; any discussion is just not relevant to this thread. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enforcer84 Posted June 5, 2011 Report Share Posted June 5, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... I do get your point; however, *Taking it to PM* Edit: Not flaming him, folks; any discussion is just not relevant to this thread. Then why did you start it here? Just sayin. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghost-angel Posted June 5, 2011 Report Share Posted June 5, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Today, we mourn the possible demise of Benedikt, Cleric of Crom, General B@ast@rd, and Professional Monster Hunter (the last two would be redundant, but Benedikt takes the first above and beyond) Sneaking up to a Giant's Fortress, past guards and dogs, Stealth Rolls all around, even those who don't have Stealth (Everyman 8-) make their rolls. Truly, we are amazing. Except Benedikt. Who rolls an 18 (my dice, they know drama - perhaps a little too well); Benedikt: Oh My God! What is that Smell! Did I just step in something! By Crom!! Giants Looks Down From Watch Tower, and start to shout. Benedikt: Come Down here and Fight! Crom Says Hello!!! Giant fire a ballista bolt (to be fair, it was a giant sized crossbow) into Benedikt. Through his shield - into him - and blows him back a good 7m. Benedikt is now unconscious (just barely), still clutching his mace. The group moved on in infiltrate the fortress without him. If anyone can get out that situation, it's Benedikt. (or... the player may need a new Monster Hunter...) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shadow Hawk Posted June 5, 2011 Report Share Posted June 5, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... 4th edition DnD Ugh the Half Orc Barbarian Therin the Elven Ranger Andraste the Eladrin Warlock Nebin the Halfling Rogue Adinimus the Drow Cleric James the Half-Elf Paladin Sepheris the Shadow Assassin Ugh: Sometimes I wonder if I'm a PC or a NPC. Nebin: Or are you a Mac? GM sets the scene... GM: She's playing solitaire with a deck of cards. James: By herself? Ugh has a question for the oracle Ugh: Civilization is boring. How do I make it fall? Ugh: Ritual sacrifice is better than cannibalism. Andraste: Not for the victim. Adinimus fails a heal check: Don't worry, chicks dig scars. Adinimus attacks!: I'll fix him! Therin: Good, now he'll never reproduce. Ugh: I'm like the Hulk, but more articulate. Nebin: Not much more. NPC: Death before dishonor! Andraste: Nothing before coffee! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
concord Posted June 5, 2011 Report Share Posted June 5, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... A few quotes from the last two sessions in the Wardens Chronicles campaign... all caught up now... +++++ "Don’t we all," responds Eon. "I didn’t think you did," comments Karex. "Normal is relative," replies Eon. "We can fix that," states Karex. "We can probably remove that crystal at anytime." +++++ "How is your parolee?" Eon asks turning to face Karex. "She is doing well and has a real talent for lasers," replies Karex. "You are not giving her the means to become..." queries Eon. "No, not a supervillain," interjects Karex. "She will be a valuable asset for Karex Corp." +++++ Amber asks, "Are you okay my little cream puff?" +++++ "Well you can trust me," states Karex. +++++ "She will have to step outside," responds Karex. +++++ "How do you know they are not assassins?" asks Karex. "Why would you think that?" Eon says answering a question with a question. "Two rival orders, blood enemies," responds Karex. "You have been watching too many movies," chides Eon. "You need to watch the History channel." +++++ "Oh yes, he is looking for Prime," responds Karex aloud. "Have the fixers bring a large vacuum cleaner and we will suck the intruder up." +++++ "What do they eat?" asks Amber. "Pretty much anything," replies Karex. "So, they are a threat to humans," comments Eon. "Not really, they are just as likely to eat a tree," responds Karex. +++++ Eon notes that, "There is not a woman to care for the young." "Maybe they are a more advanced species," says Amber while glaring at Eon. +++++ "It is obviously Yrician parents on a family vacation taking their children to the beach," comments Karex. +++++ "They stole her cat," states Karex. +++++ "Why do people always do that when I teleport them?" asks Eon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Tom 2009 Posted June 5, 2011 Report Share Posted June 5, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Heehee I thought that'd get a chuckle out of you; when I posted that, I had one of the really bad "Dead" movies from the '80s in mind: the one where a couple of cops show up in their patrol car, get out, and are promptly set upon by the zombies -- one of whom gets on the patrol car's radio and says "send more cops". Major Tom 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shadow Hawk Posted June 5, 2011 Report Share Posted June 5, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... I thought that'd get a chuckle out of you; when I posted that, I had one of the really bad "Dead" movies from the '80s in mind: the one where a couple of cops show up in their patrol car, get out, and are promptly set upon by the zombies -- one of whom gets on the patrol car's radio and says "send more cops". Major Tom 2009 That's funny, I distinctly remember a zombie movie where a hospital full of zombies send out a radio call to 'send more ambulances'. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drhoz Posted June 6, 2011 Report Share Posted June 6, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... I thought that'd get a chuckle out of you; when I posted that, I had one of the really bad "Dead" movies from the '80s in mind: the one where a couple of cops show up in their patrol car, get out, and are promptly set upon by the zombies -- one of whom gets on the patrol car's radio and says "send more cops". Yes, I know - I haven't seen the movie but that very scene has turned up two podcasts in the last fortnight - 'Monster Talk's episode on the Zombie Autopsies, and one ep of "World's Largest Dungeon" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drhoz Posted June 6, 2011 Report Share Posted June 6, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Discussing practical crime-fighting with a fellow outsider Vitus : Well you have to learn to work around the local peculiarities. Defender got quite upset for some reason, when I attempted to prevent Gravitar from becoming a recidivist. Kaleido : Yes, Defender. He's so seriously earnest. I wonder if he's always like that? Vitus : He is. Did you know he actually believes in democracy? There's no helping someone like that. Vitus, on ROVER Vitus : Did you know they've got a robot on the team so stupid it actually asks you if you're a criminal? It thought I was a dangerous animal. It was half right.... The robot in question gets sent to the desert ROVER : Hello. I Am ROVER 1.03. I Hunt Criminals. Are You. A Criminal? Grond : GROND SMASH PUNY ROBOT!!! ROVER : Searching. Grond : File Found. Also - HELP Rover's assignment was reassessed and he was duly posted back to Millennium City. In a small, flat box. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Tom 2009 Posted June 6, 2011 Report Share Posted June 6, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Originally posted by Drhoz: Rover's assignment was reassessed and he was duly posted back to Millennium City. In a small, flat box. I find myself thinking of the horror that would ensue amongst the computer businesses of Millennium City had it been Zombie Rover that had been sent back there: Zombie Rover: "Ssssoo many C.P.U.sssssss...ssssooo little time..." Major Tom 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucius Posted June 6, 2011 Report Share Posted June 6, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... I nominate Drhoz for the Quote of the Week from my Gaming Group Lifetime Achievement Award in the field of Making Us Fall From Our Chairs To Roll On The Floor Laughing. Lucius Alexander Winner of a Lifetime Achievement Award for Palindromedary Taglines Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klytus Posted June 7, 2011 Report Share Posted June 7, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... I nominate Drhoz for the Quote of the Week from my Gaming Group Lifetime Achievement Award in the field of Making Us Fall From Our Chairs To Roll On The Floor Laughing. Seconded! I hate the Rep Refresh rules. I have such a backlog on rep I owe that man, I'll need to hire someone to keep my account going after I'm dead to get caught up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ian Mackinder Posted June 7, 2011 Report Share Posted June 7, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Seconded! I hate the Rep Refresh rules. I have such a backlog on rep I owe that man' date=' I'll need to hire someone to keep my account going after I'm dead to get caught up.[/quote'] Thirded. I've pretty much given up trying to keep track. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
red_eagle123 Posted June 7, 2011 Report Share Posted June 7, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... From last nights 4E D&D Game: Grai: Half Orc Warlord Torinn: Dragonborn Warden Guin: Elf Ranger Marygold: Human Sorceror Marygold: So you're saying the mad god is related to Alowen? Grai: Owlbears? They make great pets, but you have to release them after a couple years or they get nasty. Torinn: I once knew man back in village, kept owlbear pets much longer than he should. Was big man, named Haggard. Guin: Was he related perchance to a bard named Merle? GM: . o (When did I lose control of this game?) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drhoz Posted June 7, 2011 Report Share Posted June 7, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... I nominate Drhoz for the Quote of the Week from my Gaming Group Lifetime Achievement Award in the field of Making Us Fall From Our Chairs To Roll On The Floor Laughing. I'm flattered, people, I really am Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drhoz Posted June 9, 2011 Report Share Posted June 9, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Tyrth : Come in Vitus, please report. What are you up to over there? Vitus : *over a chorus of ghastly screams, hideous laughter, and gunfire* Hmm? Oh, just leading a pack of man-eating hyenas through a VIPER base. I haven't even had to release the rabid velociraptors yet, they don't know hit them.*giggles* Tyrth : ... you're beginning to creep me the f**k out Viper : Really? *gunfire & screaming stops, tearing & chewing noises continue* Oh, here's a thing - I just found a nuclear warhead - amazing what they just leave lying around. Anybody know how to trigger one of these remotely? Then I can deal with entire base in one go. Tyrth : Yes, but I'm sure as hell not going to tell you! Lyra Varcus : Why would you need to, Vitus, I thought you were already clearing them out? Vitus : Yes, but this way I get a lovely mushroom cloud too. Tyrth : Ok, now you're scaring me. Vitus : Good. Imagine what I'm doing to them. Anybody want a few kilograms of plutonium? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Tom 2009 Posted June 9, 2011 Report Share Posted June 9, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Quote Tyrth : Come in Vitus, please report. What are you up to over there? Vitus : *over a chorus of ghastly screams, hideous laughter, and gunfire* Hmm? Oh, just leading a pack of man-eating hyenas through a VIPER base. I haven't even had to release the rabid velociraptors yet, they don't know hit them.*giggles* Tyrth : ... you're beginning to creep me the f**k out Viper : Really? *gunfire & screaming stops, tearing & chewing noises continue* Oh, here's a thing - I just found a nuclear warhead - amazing what they just leave lying around. Anybody know how to trigger one of these remotely? Then I can deal with entire base in one go. Tyrth : Yes, but I'm sure as hell not going to tell you! Lyra Varcus : Why would you need to, Vitus, I thought you were already clearing them out? Vitus : Yes, but this way I get a lovely mushroom cloud too. Tyrth : Ok, now you're scaring me. Vitus : Good. Imagine what I'm doing to them. Anybody want a few kilograms of plutonium? And the Plague of the Multiverse strikes yet again ()... Major Tom 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drhoz Posted June 9, 2011 Report Share Posted June 9, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... In Cthulhu - A continuation of events between investigations, and proof that the Mythos is even more all-pervasive than they had feared. Rondale and McGinty, incorporating their refreshed paranoia into their lives, decide that now would be a good time to hire some extra muscle. Happily a candidate is available - the fearsome bare knuckle boxer Aldous Quinn. He can double as driver and bodyguard. McGinty : I reckon he could steer with his pecs. Rondale : I'd pay to see that. Despite some years of being beaten up for money, Al is still less horribly scarred then either of his employers. GM : Twice your size AND twice as good looking. But what will they pay him? GM : Three dollars a day and all the engine oil you can eat. McGinty : Here, take this. *hands Al a zippo* Al : Oh, I couldn't take that, Mr McGinty. Rondale : It's a condition of employment GM : Indeed - who knows how many houses you'll have to burn to the ground this week Whilst Al is being fitted for his new suit, Rondale & McGinty bemoan the way they've been drawn into what becomes known as the Great New England Shit Vortex ever since they first encountered the Mythos. Rondale : I'd just joined the army, and on our first assignment half the squad gets killed by fishmen! And then I met you and it got worse! McGinty : What about me? I only came over to visit the daughter of a late friend and I get a kiddie-eating swamp monster! And it NEVER ENDS. Everywhere we go it's fooking cultists. Alicia McPool : Erm, is this likely to happen to me? But despite, as McGinty puts it, the fact that they're all swimming underwater in a whirlpool of shit, trying to find a crack in the crust, he hopes that one day on his deathbed he can look back on a job well done. GM : You really think you're going to die in bed?!? Rondale reiterates his determination to protect his mother and siblings, a drive he feels very keenly since his unknown father abandoned them before they were born. All of which proves doubly ironic given what happens the very next day. He is summoned to the deathbed of a dying man, and is not terribly pleased to discover that 1) it's his long lost dad 2) who has remarried since abandoning Zelda Rondale in California and 3) was only in California because he and his fellow students were fleeing the consequences of some horribly naive experiments in the occult, that 4) he now expects Rondale to clean up. McGinty : I'll adjust his pillows. GM : Not over his face I hope? Rondale : That's for later. Rondale : I'm glad he's dying - it's the only thing saving him from a punch to the jaw. McGinty : You know, If I had a family I'd disown them for shit like this. As if discovering that the Mythos has been screwing with Rondale since before he was even conceived wasn't bad enough, two familiar names turn up in the items bequeathed to him, and lead to a sea of miserable faces around the table that's enough to warm any keeper's heart. At least there's some humour in the fact that it's the bodyguard and not the internationally renowned linguist that translates it. Al : Oh, I know what dat says, Mr. McGinty. Dat's dem hieroglyphics - Middle Kingdom I fink.* translates * But I dunno who Yegr Setheth or Nyar...la...thotep are. Sorry. Rondale : Wha... bwa... huh??? McGinty : Forget it, Paul, if you try and make sense of it your brain will implode. Plans are made, including stocking up on more firearms and breaking into the Restricted collection at Miskatonic U. Al has increasing doubts about the people he's signed on with. Al : Ur, you're going ta be one of dem hands-on Governors, aintcha, Mr. McGinty? Driving out to the farmhouse implicated, McGinty enjoying having a chauffeur for once, and getting a little too loquacious given the presence of the as-yet innocent Aldous. McGinty : It's good sitting here in the back, isn't it? *swigs from his hip flask* Now, I hope you all bought your dragon's breath rounds. Although knowing our luck whatever it is is immune to bullets AND fire. Maybe we should hit it with spells first? Al : *eyes getting wider and wider* McPool : * pointedly * Perhaps you've had enough to drink back there, Patrick? McGinty : Nah, I'm sitting back here drinking water from a hip flask. Of course I've had enough, that's why I'm loose-lipped. GM : If he'd had too much he wouldn't be able to speak at all. Finding the house is complicated by changes in road names, a photo of the wrong house, and trying to get directions from a farmer, so it's almost nightfall before they discover the Horror is already loose. At least there's only one body in the grounds this time, unlike certain previous locales. Happily, all is not entirely lost, as they have assorted stolen magical tomes and notes to consult, a renowned linguist to do the translating, and Al and a potentially expendable lunatic available as bait. Indeed, the Horror tears more than a few strips off Al when he unwisely investigated possible hiding places for a corpse. Happily, with Rondale and McPool holding onto his legs, he was able to avoid his first encounter with a monster from also being his last. Eyeing the beast dizzy with blood loss and shock and bravado - Al : I dunno what in hell ya are, but I am gonna f**k you up. The ritual goes off with only minor hitches - nobody died during the ritual, at least, and the group discover the chant can be sung quite easily to the tune of We Will Rock You - but Rondale anticipates trouble in future. Because his half-brother turned up right at the most legally implicating possible moment, whilst the Horror was contained, everybody was too busy chanting to head him off, and the mutilated corpse of a local was propped up on the porch. Even blaming it all on the previously mentioned lunatic, this will not end well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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