Lucius Posted June 19, 2011 Report Share Posted June 19, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... I've said this once before, and I'll say it again: a close-range tac-nuking is a very bad thing indeed... Major Tom 2009 See "Davy Crockett". Which it was utterly insane when the U.S. army actually came up wioth a tactical nuclear artillery shell. Maximum range < minimum safe distance. ?????? Two words..... Suicide mission Lucius Alexander The palindromedary counters with another two words - raving insanity Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Balabanto Posted June 19, 2011 Report Share Posted June 19, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Sadly, tonight's best game quote stands alone and is out of character. I hear a weird creak and I look at my hostess. "Did I just break the chair?" Hostess: No, it's been a little creaky for a while. There's no way you're going to break that chair. At that PRECISE moment, the chair snaps under my weight, sending me to the floor in a heap of chair parts. Keep in mind, for those who know me, I'm NOT a big guy, nor am I particularly heavy. Me: !@#$@!!!. Perfect timing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Tom 2009 Posted June 19, 2011 Report Share Posted June 19, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Which it was utterly insane when the U.S. army actually came up wioth a tactical nuclear artillery shell. Maximum range < minimum safe distance. ?????? I think I saw the clip of the weapon you're talking about on YouTube. IIRC, it was a 155mm towed gun that they were calling "The Atomic Howitzer". I also think you're spot on about the Army being utterly insane, especially back then. Major Tom 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prestige Posted June 19, 2011 Report Share Posted June 19, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Sadly, tonight's best game quote stands alone and is out of character. I hear a weird creak and I look at my hostess. "Did I just break the chair?" Hostess: No, it's been a little creaky for a while. There's no way you're going to break that chair. At that PRECISE moment, the chair snaps under my weight, sending me to the floor in a heap of chair parts. Keep in mind, for those who know me, I'm NOT a big guy, nor am I particularly heavy. Me: !@#$@!!!. Perfect timing. I feel as a whitness to this event I should confirm the above is exactly how it happened. In case anybody doubts it. Though I guess some of you will continue to doubt it. It is probably the funniest thing I have even seen. I wish I had it on tape I would win the show about funny home videos(if it was still on) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
feralucce Posted June 19, 2011 Report Share Posted June 19, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Max has just entered the workshop of our golden age gadgeteer. Maxwell gerabaldi: everyone, aside from me, that has held this piece of metal has blown up. Glitch: *blink, blink* I'm not giving you a refund. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drhoz Posted June 19, 2011 Report Share Posted June 19, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Before they were born? Were they triplets or something? Or did dear ol' Dad keep coming back just to knock up Mum' date=' then take off again afterward? :winkgrin:/QUOTE'] The former, although I like the latter idea better Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christopher Posted June 19, 2011 Report Share Posted June 19, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... I've said this once before, and I'll say it again: a close-range tac-nuking is a very bad thing indeed... Not that much in Paranoia, where everyone has a half a dozen clones/lives Which it was utterly insane when the U.S. army actually came up wioth a tactical nuclear artillery shell. Maximum range < minimum safe distance. ?????? One? An entire series of shells It can still work, if you fire it from higher terain into lower terrain. Or fire it remotley. Wich is what they did in the original Video and Youtube Video. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drhoz Posted June 19, 2011 Report Share Posted June 19, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... McGinty & Co, and the aftermath of their little escapade outside Ross's Corners. Possible spoilers for The Trail of Yig. Mostly attempting to justify pinning the brutal killing of a local farmer's wife on the hopelessly insane hobo they caught, which understandably McPool finds a bit unethical. But then, she hasn't had as much experience covering up murders as McGinty and Rondale have, and hobos insane or otherwise do make ideal scapegoats. McGinty enjoys a celebratory drink. Alicia McPool : That can't be good for you. McGinty : I only drink for my liver problem. Aldous Quinn : How long is that alcohol prescription good for, anyway? McGinty : Let me check *counts the thick sheaf of duplicate forms* 2012. Rondale : 2012? That's when the world will be flooded. Hopefully with booze. McGinty : Well, I am an arse. McPool : An Arsonist? McGinty : Sometimes. It was a classic case of arson. Somebody arsin' about. Rondale's half-brother attempts to cause trouble, but really doesn't have much hope of success - after all, even if he did stumble across them mid-ceremony, Rondale and company are highly respected in Arkham, and even if Bertram does have money now, Rondale et al have more, and nobody likes Bertram much anyway. Rondale is unsympathetic. Bertram doesn't even realise the family resemblance, until McGinty rubs it in. Rondale : Hey, I didn't name him Bertram. And the guy that did is dead. I consider that justice! McGinty : You look so similar! Only you look like a weasel, and Paul here looks like a real man. McGinty even risks a return to his lodge, where the lodge leader has good reason to believe he was the one responsible for all dynamite let off in the sub-basement. Lodge Leader : *coldly* I must say I'm surprised to see you here. McGinty : *innocently* Why's that then? Lodge Leader : I'd have thought you would have been too busy with other work by now. McGinty : Oh, the mechanics and stuff? Yes, that keeps me out of trouble for a few days a week. Lodge Leader : Quite. Tell me, didn't you used to be a sapper, in the army? McGinty : *nods* Digging stuff up, knocking things down, that's me. Lodge Leader : And blowing things up too, if I recall correctly? Did you handle a lot of explosives in your time? McGinty : Oh sure. But I wasn't any good at it. See these missing fingers? If I even think about handling explosives these days I get the shakes, something chronic. GM : You jammy, jammy git. GM as Lodge Leader : *Suddenly doubting his own theories.* Oh. I see. Well, we should start this week's meeting then, shouldn't we? The next few weeks pass uneventfully, with McPool gleefully devouring the book they stole from Miskatonic's Restricted Collection, and a few trips to the movies, and an outing to a psychic to see if she's the real thing. They test her with a brooch of Alicia's, the bayonet Rondale used in Innsmouth, and that nice snake ring that caught McGinty's eye in Boston during the Crimson Gang case. The later experiment can not be described as going well, since the psychic promptly goes and hangs herself. McGinty makes his escape before the police arrive - after all, this particular death wouldn't look good in the upcoming elections. GM : Yes, I can see the headlines now "McGinty Consults Psychic - 'Will I Be Governor?' - Psychic Commits Suicide" Rondale : We're cursed McGinty - yet another person dies the same day we meet them. McGinty : Well, meeting me for the first time is never a good day for anybody. However, with papers salvaged from the fireplace, the late psychic's diary, and a purloined letter, the group establish that handling the ring provoked a glimpse of the near future - that something unbearably horrible that she had been quietly investigating will soon prove true. And points McGinty and company towards a private museum right there in Arkham - indeed on the same street! - that none of them even knew existed. Apparently it had an unwholesome reputation, even before the death of i's owner/curator. The collection of sacrificial daggers, mutant wildlife from 'The Blasted Heath' - quote McGinty "Hmm. Something to look into later" - and pornographic waxworks probably has something to do with it. Rondale : Is there any house in this town that doesn't include an unspeakable evil??? He has a point. McGinty reminisces fondly about the one that used to live in his current abode. McGinty : Little Eggy Corbitt, the one-monster mosh pit. Aldous continues to astound the group with his freakish knowledge about caring for old documents, pre-Mayan Yucatan snake cults, and Tuvan throat singing. McPool : I'm supposed to the thinktank in this group, not him! Rondale : Where the hell did you come from? Seriously? Quinn : Um. New York? McGinty : I'm glad I hired him. Best. Employee. Evah. Quinn : Oh,I'm just a driver, Mr. McGinty. I aint nuffin special. Rondale : Bullshit! Next week - off to Dunwich, on the Trail of Yig. New Hero 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drhoz Posted June 19, 2011 Report Share Posted June 19, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Having 'saved' Polonius, the group are pointed towards another long-standing threat - the Orks Kruizer loaded with looted Imperial tanks and artillery, that we've been informed has been nosing around outsystem for over a year now. This baffles most of the intelligence forces, since they know its Kommanda is busy on Myen-Fio's moon, but for some reason has left a ship full of weapons out in the middle of nowhere. The Inquisitorial presence on Myen-Fio (or so we suspect) is finally moving to investigate, and Polonius approves - after all, turning up with a ship full of heavy tanks and munitions will repair his reputation in the eyes of the Crusade. Of course, he's not going to tell them he's coming, in case it doesn't work out. Equipping for the expedition - GM : You don't have to be literate to use a Power Axe. Guildenstern : Sharp end goes in the other guy. Polonius : Although you can insert the blunt end, if you try hard enough. Guildenstern : If I see a dead Terminator I'm not hanging around. Because whatever managed to kill him is probably still nearby! Polonius OOC : All we need now is a warband of Goff Rokkers, lead by Marshall Staks. Getting Polonius out of the hospice, under the watchful eyes of the Tau security forces, requires another favour, from the Astropaths of the Black Monolith Order, who use their psychic abilities to send Polonius a message to meet them outside the building. Polonius goes, but not without a certain amount of paranoia. Polonius *muttering to himself as he crosses the courtyard* : If it's a real message, of course I have to go...If it's a trap I have to go anyway, to face adversity and prove myself in the eyes of the God-Emperor... Iocane comes from Australia, as everyone knows, and Australia is entirely peopled with criminals, and criminals are used to having people not trust them... The Astropaths shroud him from view with their telepathy, and smuggle him out to the spaceport. He enjoys a conversation with the head of the Astropathic Choir, although fishing for information about the mission proves pointless. GM : You glide out into the street - everybody continues to ignore you. Guildenstern : As per usual. Polonius : I should have realised trying to second-guess a telepath is an exercise in futility. Polonius : I have to admit that I have mixed feeling about finally leaving Myen-Fio. Not because I'm sorry to go, but because I'm sure wherever we're about to go is worse. He's right - not only is the Rogue Trader ship they're hitching a lift with crewed with mutants and unsanctioned psykers, but the same damn Gretchin that 'assassinated' him is on board. Lucky the Gretchin : Oh hi Boss! Guildenstern : What are you doing here? I thought the Tau got you? Lucky : Yeah boss, dey did. I got all shot up but I survived, an' I wun da Lottery too, see? I bought dis cool peg leg an' a 'ook, see? Guildenstern : But what did you tell the Tau about us hiring you to shoot him? Lucky : I just told 'em some humie I ain't never seen before gave me a gun an' told me to go shoot up that guy. Guildenstern : Good lad. Polonius : But how did you get HERE? Lucky : The Tau let me out on bail. Polonius : Of course they did. *headdesk* Lucky: So I scarpered and paid the Kaptin of dis 'ere humie ship to get me me away, see? I aint fick. I'm the luckiest Grot in da world, I am. Guildenstern : So you've lost an arm and a leg, already spent all your winnings.. Polonius : ...and have no doubt been bugged by the Tau... Guildenstern ... and now you're on a ship where they can toss you out the airlock any time they like, with the men who hired you AND the man you tried to kill. Luckiest Grot in the world, are you? Lucky : Er, yeah. *suddenly looks doubtful* Cautiously approaching the asteroid belt where the Kruizer has been hiding, we're all extremely surprised to pick up transponder signals from the Tau POW transport that brought us to Myen-Fio in the first place. The same one that was attacked by Ork Pirates en route, with a number of the prisoner pods thought lost with all hands. This complicates matters considerably, since it implies that the Orks could have several thousand human prisoners as slaves, and they're going to need rescuing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Tom 2009 Posted June 19, 2011 Report Share Posted June 19, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Originally posted by Drhoz: Polonius: Although you can insert the blunt end, if you try hard enough. Man...your group has really been overdue for a manifestation of a Smut Field -- emphasis on the "Sm" in the first word. Major Tom 2009 "Paging Mr. Mapplethorpe! Paging Mr. Mapplethorpe!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drhoz Posted June 19, 2011 Report Share Posted June 19, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Originally posted by Drhoz: Polonius: Although you can insert the blunt end, if you try hard enough. Man...your group has really been overdue for a manifestation of a Smut Field -- emphasis on the "Sm" in the first word. Totally inadvertent, too Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ian Mackinder Posted June 19, 2011 Report Share Posted June 19, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... I think I saw the clip of the weapon you're talking about on YouTube. IIRC, it was a 155mm towed gun that they were calling "The Atomic Howitzer". I also think you're spot on about the Army being utterly insane, especially back then. Major Tom 2009 Heck, dude. Back then, if the military could shoot it, throw it , detonate it or otherwise point it at the enemy; then there was probably nuclear ammo being developed for it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shadow Hawk Posted June 19, 2011 Report Share Posted June 19, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Heck, dude. Back then, if the military could shoot it, throw it , detonate it or otherwise point it at the enemy; then there was probably nuclear ammo being developed for it. In a word, yes. But we exagerate the blast effect, all these weapons could fire further than the blast radius. Except the Davy Crockett, which was so innaccurate that you didn't know how far it was going. Maybe three miles, maybe a hundred feet, you light the fuse and take your chances. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ian Mackinder Posted June 19, 2011 Report Share Posted June 19, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... In a word, yes. But we exagerate the blast effect, all these weapons could fire further than the blast radius. Except the Davy Crockett, which was so innaccurate that you didn't know how far it was going. Maybe three miles, maybe a hundred feet, you light the fuse and take your chances. I have always been impressed by the nuclear-tipped air-to-air missile. Fired from an aircraft to take out ENTIRE FORMATIONS of enemy aircraft. And the nuclear landmine was scary, even as nuclear weapons in general go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Air Pirate Posted June 19, 2011 Report Share Posted June 19, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... I think I saw the clip of the weapon you're talking about on YouTube. IIRC, it was a 155mm towed gun that they were calling "The Atomic Howitzer". I also think you're spot on about the Army being utterly insane, especially back then. Major Tom 2009 Heh! Not quite. The Davey Crockett was a recoilless rifle you could mount on a jeep with a range of about 1-1/2 to 2-1/2 mi. Atomic Annie was a little bit larger with a range of about 20 mi. There was a great range of weapons produced: Nuclear Artillery And there was a whole slew of strange ideas. How would you like to be the soldier issued this? Backpack Nuke And my personal favorites: a nuclear-powered cruise missile and a spaceship powered by nuclear bombs Sorry to tread-jack. "Now back to our regular program ..." New Hero 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enforcer84 Posted June 20, 2011 Report Share Posted June 20, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... I feel as a whitness to this event I should confirm the above is exactly how it happened. In case anybody doubts it. Though I guess some of you will continue to doubt it. It is probably the funniest thing I have even seen. I wish I had it on tape I would win the show about funny home videos(if it was still on) My best buddy from highschool who *was* a big guy (and Balabanto isn't I've met him) he managed to break one of our metal chairs...I think he was embarrassed beyond possible recognition. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
feralucce Posted June 20, 2011 Report Share Posted June 20, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... My best buddy from highschool who *was* a big guy (and Balabanto isn't I've met him) he managed to break one of our metal chairs...I think he was embarrassed beyond possible recognition. I've been in that very situation. I am a LARGE man - 6'9"...used to be 380... Dr Anomaly can attest to the fact that I am/was build like a ... well... brick elimination house. At work, I went through three of the standard chairs before they bought one for my size... little known fact, standard chairs are rated for about 220 max... It took one snapping and dropping me face first into my desk, breaking my nose and keyboard before they did it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
feralucce Posted June 20, 2011 Report Share Posted June 20, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Sorry... Thread derail... Pulp HERO with heavy cthuloid presence... "Timber... Men in black trench coats don't go 'squish'" ******** Frank has been exposed to no less than 6 mythos images this evening and is on his way to a permanent stay in the loonie bin. (all through his own doing) Jeff: Frank, I hate to tell you... Those aren't chicken thieves? Frank: what are they? Jeff: from here, I can't be absolutely certain, but they look a lot like deep ones. Frank: and what are they doing? Jeff: they appear to be eating chickens. Frank: did they PAY for them? Jeff: god, I hate you ************* when dealing with a midget psychic. "Hey, did you hear? There's a small medium at large!?" The same night, they are at the diner and they stumble across the very target of their search (said mystic). Waitress: what will you have, Hun? Small medium: bring me a triple with a double order of fries and the biggest coke you have. I'm famished! Timber: small medium at large... Super size me? ***************** The adventurers find a scroll case. Timber goes to open it. Hoshi, a self styled Chinese American "samurai" and Frank, the chicken farmer are present. Timber: this kinda makes me feel funny. Frank: good funny, or bad funny? Timber: kinda like I need mental floss. (snip) Timber: so... Either of you guys ever heard of this hastur guy? *pointing a spot in the scroll* Frank and Hoshi look at each other for a moment... Hoshi: I fall on my sword. Frank: ya, know what? I fall on his sword, too. New Hero 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ragitsu Posted June 21, 2011 Report Share Posted June 21, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... -- Dark Champions "When life gives you lemons..." "Make lemonade?" "...no, stuff em' full of RDX, hand em' back, and get as far away as you f**king can" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susano Posted June 21, 2011 Report Share Posted June 21, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... -- Dark Champions "When life gives you lemons..." "Make lemonade?" "...no, stuff em' full of RDX, hand em' back, and get as far away as you f**king can" “When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!” Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
feralucce Posted June 21, 2011 Report Share Posted June 21, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Star hero again... Same party Upon encountering a sentient virus that kills then takes over it's victims... Isunne - quantum engineer (no, I won't explain that - it hurts my brain): Hey, look! I just coughed up an NPC! ********** Millicent Beckwith - xenoarcheologist: wait... He gets penicillin and I had to cut off my feet? ********** mariko: (on comms) take your time, samurai kill-em-all cleared the room. Caligula: did he forget to wear deodorant again? Atsuko - sci-fi samurai from the first Japanese colony: no. Taco bell. ********** Grigori - space faring barbarian (think dragonstar, without the charm): What does your name mean, again? Atsuko: roughly translated - kind child Grigori: don't you find it mildly ironic that your name means kind child and you are walking Cuisinart? Atsuko: don't you find it mildly ironic that you used the word ironic? Grigori: not really. Atsuko: and you used it properly? Grigori: well, THAT is kind of weird. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
feralucce Posted June 21, 2011 Report Share Posted June 21, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... More quotes from the quantum engineer.(Half gadgeteer, half Mage, and half psion) "I know you believe you understand what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant." ************ "Have you heard that entropy isn't what it used to be?" ************ During an encounter with a Confederation of Known Worlds security patrol. The following is a commentary on the Heisenberg uncertainty principle. Security Officer: "Do you know how fast you were going?" Isunne: "No, but I know where I am." ************ A conversation between Isunne and Tyria, the ship's A.I. Core. Isunne:How many theoretical physicists specializing in general relativity does it take to change a light bulb? Tyria: in spite of the fact that I suspect that I do not want to know. How many? Isunne: Two. One to hold the bulb and one to rotate the universe. *********** Isunne: Does a radioactive cat have 18 half-lives? *********** Isunne is dancing through the ship chanting to himself. Mariko: what ARE you singing? Isunne (reciting a limerick) There was an old lady called Wright who could travel much faster than light. She departed one day in a relative way and returned on the previous night. New Hero 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klytus Posted June 21, 2011 Report Share Posted June 21, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Reminds me of a Paranoia! adventure, where the Troubleshooters are issued a rocket launcher with the rounds "Color coded for your convenience. You have paint marking, armor piercing, high explosive, napalm. solid slug, and tactical nuke." "Excellent, friend supply officer. What is the color code?" "What's you security clearance?" "Red, friend supply officer." "I'm sorry, that information is unavailable at your security clearance." The GM is advised to either roll randomly for effect, or pick whichever one would be funniest. Oh, and the rockets didn't have enough range to get out of the blast radius of the tacnuke round. Paranoia always reminds me of the inspired cunning of Drew, my cousin-out-law, who was once presented with a unique problem in the games he ran: the players were actually cooperating with one another and completing missions! Rather than complain or whine as most kids his age would (he was in high school), he did something that was an off-the-charts stroke of genius. He gave each of the players at the table a full water pistol. The catch was that if anyone used the water guns out-of-character, then their characters did it in game, too. And if anyone shot at him, that was the same as shooting The Computer. Needless to say, chaos was soon restored to his games. You simply cannot keep a group of people armed with water guns in close proximity like that for long before somebody cracks and starts shooting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drhoz Posted June 22, 2011 Report Share Posted June 22, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... paranoia always reminds me of the inspired cunning of drew, my cousin-out-law, who was once presented with a unique problem in the games he ran: The players were actually cooperating with one another and completing missions! Rather than complain or whine as most kids his age would (he was in high school), he did something that was an off-the-charts stroke of genius. He gave each of the players at the table a full water pistol. The catch was that if anyone used the water guns out-of-character, then their characters did it in game, too. And if anyone shot at him, that was the same as shooting the computer. Needless to say, chaos was soon restored to his games. You simply cannot keep a group of people armed with water guns in close proximity like that for long before somebody cracks and starts shooting. brilliance! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klytus Posted June 22, 2011 Report Share Posted June 22, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... brilliance! Indeed. Cousin Drew is a rare breed Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.