Narf the Mouse Posted May 8, 2011 Report Share Posted May 8, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... And his brothers' date=' Sharp and Cutting?[/quote'] You're forgetting Flit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ian Mackinder Posted May 9, 2011 Report Share Posted May 9, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... This one is possibly in the 'You Really Had To Be There' category. At the very least, think of genres crossing - in this case, 'Call Of Cthulhu' and 'Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy'. Begins with a standard (early-edition) 'CoC' game. One of the PCs begins the campaign with a spell to summon and control a Dimensional Shambler. Basically, he can summon a low-end other-worldly horror which will obey basic orders. When the allotted time runs out, it immediately vanishes back to wherever it came from. Anyhow, doesn't take long for the party to get into a combat situation. The PC with this spell decides to use it, reasoning that a Dimensional Shambler could be a useful asset. Unfortunately, he was thinking in D&D terms - the monster-summoning process in CoC is much MUCH longer. So, there he is in the middle of a major battle, prancing around, muttering gibberish and doing all the other stuff required by the ritual. Miraculously, he doesn't get shot by anyone. When the monster finally arrives, the battle has just ended. At a total loss as to what else he can do with a fully functional Dimensional Shambler (having it just hang around for the next 15-20 minutes seems wasteful), the PC finally tells it to "Go eat rats". They're in an underground complex with lots of rats, so I guess that tidying up the place is something positive. The party goes on to do other things. The Ref does not forget, having rolled Human-level Intelligence for this particular Dimensional Shambler, making it Genius-level amongst its own kind. Given his sense of humour (same dude as in the 'Young Sherlock Holmes' debacle), an encore was almost ... required. So, a couple of sessions down the track, the party gets into a non-urgent situation where a summoned Dimensional Shambler might be useful, The PC does the ritual and gets a Dimensional Shambler. Whereupon the Ref has the creature say the following (in a dismal, deep, slow monotone): "Oh. It's just you. I suppose you found some more rats for me to eat. It is so depressing. I mean, I know I am just an other-worldly horror who exists solely to do whatever he is told. Bipeds rip holes in reality just so they can dump me in a strange place and watch me eat a rat. No point in caring, It can only get worse. ...." And so on, And so on. At which point, most of the PCs had laughed themselves breathless, and almost forgot what they had summoned the Shambler for in the first place. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tim Posted May 9, 2011 Report Share Posted May 9, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Pathfinder Game I'm playing an Alchemist with Force Bombs. A force bomb knocks it's target prone on a failed Ref save as well as damage. After knocking several Giants on their @$$ I start singing... "Crowd Control is a force bomb. Crowd control is a force bomb..." LAter after being killed by Rune Giants, the other players talk about retreating with my remains... "You grab his head and his sack..." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Tom 2009 Posted May 9, 2011 Report Share Posted May 9, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... This one is possibly in the 'You Really Had To Be There' category. At the very least, think of genres crossing - in this case, 'Call Of Cthulhu' and 'Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy'. Begins with a standard (early-edition) 'CoC' game. One of the PCs begins the campaign with a spell to summon and control a Dimensional Shambler. Basically, he can summon a low-end other-worldly horror which will obey basic orders. When the allotted time runs out, it immediately vanishes back to wherever it came from. Anyhow, doesn't take long for the party to get into a combat situation. The PC with this spell decides to use it, reasoning that a Dimensional Shambler could be a useful asset. Unfortunately, he was thinking in D&D terms - the monster-summoning process in CoC is much MUCH longer. So, there he is in the middle of a major battle, prancing around, muttering gibberish and doing all the other stuff required by the ritual. Miraculously, he doesn't get shot by anyone. When the monster finally arrives, the battle has just ended. At a total loss as to what else he can do with a fully functional Dimensional Shambler (having it just hang around for the next 15-20 minutes seems wasteful), the PC finally tells it to "Go eat rats". They're in an underground complex with lots of rats, so I guess that tidying up the place is something positive. The party goes on to do other things. The Ref does not forget, having rolled Human-level Intelligence for this particular Dimensional Shambler, making it Genius-level amongst its own kind. Given his sense of humour (same dude as in the 'Young Sherlock Holmes' debacle), an encore was almost ... required. So, a couple of sessions down the track, the party gets into a non-urgent situation where a summoned Dimensional Shambler might be useful, The PC does the ritual and gets a Dimensional Shambler. Whereupon the Ref has the creature say the following (in a dismal, deep, slow monotone): "Oh. It's just you. I suppose you found some more rats for me to eat. It is so depressing. I mean, I know I am just an other-worldly horror who exists solely to do whatever he is told. Bipeds rip holes in reality just so they can dump me in a strange place and watch me eat a rat. No point in caring, It can only get worse. ...." And so on, And so on. At which point, most of the PCs had laughed themselves breathless, and almost forgot what they had summoned the Shambler for in the first place. The shambler was quite right, you know. Vitus could've shown up instead. Major Tom 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Tom 2009 Posted May 9, 2011 Report Share Posted May 9, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Pathfinder Game I'm playing an Alchemist with Force Bombs. A force bomb knocks it's target prone on a failed Ref save as well as damage. After knocking several Giants on their @$$ I start singing... "Crowd Control is a force bomb. Crowd control is a force bomb..." LAter after being killed by Rune Giants, the other players talk about retreating with my remains... "You grab his head and his sack..." Oh, yes... the "Take a statement way out of context" gremlin is just waiting for statements like that. Major Tom 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christopher Posted May 9, 2011 Report Share Posted May 9, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Whereupon the Ref has the creature say the following (in a dismal' date=' deep, slow monotone): "[i']Oh. It's just you. I suppose you found some more rats for me to eat. It is so depressing. I mean, I know I am just an other-worldly horror who exists solely to do whatever he is told. Bipeds rip holes in reality just so they can dump me in a strange place and watch me eat a rat. No point in caring, It can only get worse. ....[/i]" And so on, And so on. So, is this spell now called "Summon Marvin"? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klytus Posted May 9, 2011 Report Share Posted May 9, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... This one is possibly in the 'You Really Had To Be There' category. At the very least, think of genres crossing - in this case, 'Call Of Cthulhu' and 'Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy'. Begins with a standard (early-edition) 'CoC' game. One of the PCs begins the campaign with a spell to summon and control a Dimensional Shambler. Basically, he can summon a low-end other-worldly horror which will obey basic orders. When the allotted time runs out, it immediately vanishes back to wherever it came from. Anyhow, doesn't take long for the party to get into a combat situation. The PC with this spell decides to use it, reasoning that a Dimensional Shambler could be a useful asset. Unfortunately, he was thinking in D&D terms - the monster-summoning process in CoC is much MUCH longer. So, there he is in the middle of a major battle, prancing around, muttering gibberish and doing all the other stuff required by the ritual. Miraculously, he doesn't get shot by anyone. When the monster finally arrives, the battle has just ended. At a total loss as to what else he can do with a fully functional Dimensional Shambler (having it just hang around for the next 15-20 minutes seems wasteful), the PC finally tells it to "Go eat rats". They're in an underground complex with lots of rats, so I guess that tidying up the place is something positive. The party goes on to do other things. The Ref does not forget, having rolled Human-level Intelligence for this particular Dimensional Shambler, making it Genius-level amongst its own kind. Given his sense of humour (same dude as in the 'Young Sherlock Holmes' debacle), an encore was almost ... required. So, a couple of sessions down the track, the party gets into a non-urgent situation where a summoned Dimensional Shambler might be useful, The PC does the ritual and gets a Dimensional Shambler. Whereupon the Ref has the creature say the following (in a dismal, deep, slow monotone): "Oh. It's just you. I suppose you found some more rats for me to eat. It is so depressing. I mean, I know I am just an other-worldly horror who exists solely to do whatever he is told. Bipeds rip holes in reality just so they can dump me in a strange place and watch me eat a rat. No point in caring, It can only get worse. ...." And so on, And so on. At which point, most of the PCs had laughed themselves breathless, and almost forgot what they had summoned the Shambler for in the first place. No.. you didn't "have to be there": This is EPIC! Curse the Rep cycle rules! I owe you for this one... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drhoz Posted May 10, 2011 Report Share Posted May 10, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... The shambler was quite right, you know. Vitus could've shown up instead. Indeed. What's the SAN cost for 'Summon Vitus'? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ian Mackinder Posted May 10, 2011 Report Share Posted May 10, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Indeed. What's the SAN cost for 'Summon Vitus'? From everything I have ever heard about the fellow, one would probably need a separate sheet just to record the Sanity Loss from summoning and meeting him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Tom 2009 Posted May 10, 2011 Report Share Posted May 10, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Indeed. What's the SAN cost for 'Summon Vitus'? I'd say that that comes under the heading of "If you have to ask, you don't have enough"... Major Tom 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghost-angel Posted May 10, 2011 Report Share Posted May 10, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Indeed. What's the SAN cost for 'Summon Vitus'? All of it. And your little dog too! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Narf the Mouse Posted May 10, 2011 Report Share Posted May 10, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... I'd say that that comes under the heading of "If you ask' date=' you [i']don't[/i] have enough"... Major Tom 2009 Fixed it for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucius Posted May 11, 2011 Report Share Posted May 11, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... I once wrote a Call of Cthulhu spell for Summon Human (Lesser Independent Race.) It specified going to a place frequented by Humans and gave a few alternate incantations. I remember one was "Free beer!" There was no SAN cost for summoning Humans, but there was a warning that consorting with them was hazardous to SANity. Lucius Alexander Summon Palindromedary Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whitekeys Posted May 11, 2011 Report Share Posted May 11, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... In a space-ish campaign (mixed with western genre, like Firefly) my PCs are subject to a certain type of reconstituted mush, dispensed from a machine that serves as the only type of food out in space. The only upside to it is, with advanced food-technology, you can get it in any flavour you want. So Carl goes.. "I'll have .. French fries, please." Out of character, Brennan says "French fires!? Do you even know what french fries taste like? We drink out of a goo-machine!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FrankL Posted May 11, 2011 Report Share Posted May 11, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... After reading DrHoz's writeups, I started reading the mythos on my lunch break at work. It took a few stories before I got into them (I found reading even a short synopsis destroys the experience for me, so I didn't like "Call of Cthulhu" or “Nameless City”) The one about the guy doing the Yuletide ritual didn't hold my attention either. Before I started “The Colour Out of Space,” I decided that if I didn't like it better than the others, I wouldn't read any more. It gave me the shivers, and I decided to keep going. Yesterday, I read the first two chapters of “The Dunwhich Horror” on lunch. It opens with this: Gorgons and Hydras, and Chimaeras—dire stories of Celaeno and the Harpies—may reproduce themselves in the brain of superstition—but they were there before. They are transcripts, types—the archetypes are in us, and eternal. How else should the recital of that which we know in a waking sense to be false come to affect us at all? Is it that we naturally conceive terror from such objects, considered in their capacity of being able to inflict upon us bodily injury? O, least of all! These terrors are of older standing. They date beyond body—or without the body, they would have been the same… That the kind of fear here treated is purely spiritual—that it is strong in proportion as it is objectless on earth, that it predominates in the period of our sinless infancy—are difficulties the solution of which might afford some probable insight into our ante-mundane condition, and a peep at least into the shadowland of pre-existence. —Charles Lamb: Witches and Other Night-Fears While working through a coding problem later, the back of my mind was turning over some pieces of the story, trying to figure out what was going to happen next. Now, I should know better because I startle easily. Also, our cubes are arranged so that our back is to the opening. One of my coworkers came to my cube to ask me a question, and I came out of my skin when she tapped my shoulder! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Obvious Posted May 11, 2011 Report Share Posted May 11, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Dunwich Horror is good. The Shadow Over Innsmouth is good. The Thing on the Doorstep is good. I liked Cool Air a lot too. Once you've read through your book, assuming that you've enjoyed it overall, I recommend going back to look at the ones that didn't tickle your fancy the first time. Some of the stories just seem better once you've got a better idea of what kind of stuff it is that you're reading. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susano Posted May 11, 2011 Report Share Posted May 11, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... I also recommend trying non-Lovecraft Lovecraftian stories. There are some collections out there that include Robert Bloch, Robert E Howard, Stephen King, and so on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mjolnir74 Posted May 11, 2011 Report Share Posted May 11, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Quotes from my Shadowrun4 campaign Cast: Esperanza: Female Orc Sniper. Adjusting to civilian life in Seattle after a life of mercenary work based out of Johannesburg, South Africa. Howler: Male Elf Shaman. Amerind heritage and dresses the part. Shiko: Female eGhost Hacker. An AI currently inhabiting a anthroform walker drone (Otomo). Six: Female Orc Rigger. Also well known as a famous combat biker. ---------------- Background The team is in Seattle tailing a drug dealer who is not producing as much as he should. The mark heads into a night club, so the team wants to send Esperanza in to keep an eye on him. Esperanza: Howler, summon a water spirit and have it Conceal my presence. Howler: I'll summon a Force 5 spirit. GM: The spirit has resisted your summoning and you nearly hemorrhage yourself from the Drain. Would you like to try that again? Howler: Yes, but this time I try to summon at Force 4 instead. Six: Shiko. Start recording this with your simsense rig. We may want to post the result on ElfFail.com. Howler: *rolls better than the spirit this time* Ha! I succeeded! Six: This reminds me of the old proverb: "A watched Elf never fails." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drhoz Posted May 12, 2011 Report Share Posted May 12, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... I also recommend trying non-Lovecraft Lovecraftian stories. There are some collections out there that include Robert Bloch' date=' Robert E Howard, Stephen King, and so on.[/quote'] *nods* There's an insanely high amount of Lovecraftian fiction out there. It helps that HPL encouraged his friends and fellow writers to share the universe. "Notebook Found In An Abandoned House" by Bloch is very very good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drhoz Posted May 12, 2011 Report Share Posted May 12, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Call of Cthulhu - the aftermath of their raid on a businessman's group, and McGinty frees up one night a week of his busy social calender. Adapted from chapters of Shadows of Yog-Sothoth. When last we met, McGinty, Rondale, The Amazing Julius and Professor Samuel Santorio had attempted to deal with a group that met weekly for coffee and doughnuts. As a result, Julius and Santorio are dead, and something abominable is loose beneath New York. Corpses in tow, the survivors flee and call Agent Landing of the Office of Naval Intelligence at home, in the middle of the night, to give him the bad news and call in reinforcements. To say that Landing is unhappy with the situation is an understatement. GM : Landing feels that McGinty has a lot in common with doors and wallpaper - they all be hung by professionals. GM : He's got this condition you see. It gives him constant headaches and violent urge to kill. It's called McGinty. GM : And then they'll dispose of Santorio's body Rondale : ... and nothing of value was lost. Returning to the scene of the crime, Rondale and McGinty try to keep the situation under control, until the Marines show up with flame-throwers. This proves difficult, since the ungodly stench billowing out of the site has started to wake the neighbours. Happily, this being New York, the neighbours soon start arguing violently with each other from their windows rather than actually emerge from the brownstones to investigate. Rondale : *gritting teeth* Ah, New York. McGinty, making some clever use of the phone operators, determines the likely whereabouts of the cultist leader. Pity he didn't do that before the raid. Because said cultist needed a sacrifice in a hurry, after McGinty threatened him over the phone, and used his neighbours as the entrée. The two decide they can wait no longer, re-arm, and proceed cautiously back into the building, disturbed by the footprints etched into the walls and ceiling, and aghast at the horrific organic mulch filling the lower floor inches deep. Whatever happened in here during their brief absence has totalled the place - perhaps their sabotage of all the security shutters on their first foray was a mistake? Still, the flame-thrower units arrive shortly thereafter, and torch the place, as Landing spreads cover stories of a sewer eruption and poisonous gases. Rondale handles the sad task of giving the Givetti family the bad news. To say that emotional scenes ensue is an understatement. At least police involvement in the death is avoided, thanks to Mob connections. McGinty : Give me a break, I'm all emotional at the moment. I've just lost a friend. And a stranger. Because you can't deny he was ****ing strange. McGinty : Of course I'm not going. A Protestant Irish gangster at an Italian Mob family funeral? I'd be ****ing lynched. It's almost a week before Givetti's will can be read. One problem was that the Elder Sign ring that Givetti ensorcerelled and bequeathed to an ex-lover and fellow occultist wasn't on his remains. That's because Rondale pocketed it. At least he hands it over to the lawyer when asked. Rondale : Am I a bad person because I was hoping somebody else would make an Elder Sign signet ring, that I could steal when they were killed? Rondale to Occultist : Look after that ring. He put his heart and soul into it. GM : *snicker* Indeed. Julius's player : That's why a lawyer hasta.. hasta... hasta be trained in Ethics McGinty's player : Did you just say Hastur three times? D: An auction is held of The Amazing Julius' stage props. There's a minor interest in them, thanks to his notoriety, and that corpse that turned up in the middle of the show. Perhaps if his friends had gone with the 'gunned down by gangsters' cover story they would have fetched a better price? McGinty : We ought to buy Givetti's pop-up Nepalese Attack Boar. We can put it in the back seat of somebody's car and when it pops up as they drive along they'll **** themselves. But despite McGinty's bids that prop goes to another buyer - Charles Tow Aching, who gives McGinty an amused little wave from the back of the room. With Givetti's life thus extinguished, his belongings scattered and his death a lie, there are only a few loose ends to tie off. Among them two names linked to the cult. Rondale begs for Mob assistance dealing with one, and the Don agrees, as a favour to the loyal Givetti family. In the end the extra help might not even prove necessary, since McGinty stole the man's razor when exploring the carnage at the house, and used the traces of blood on it as a vital ingredient in a ritual of vengeance. Hopefully the invisible tittering thing thus dispatched made short work of the fugitive, but there's no mention of mangled bloodless corpses showing up in the next week's newspapers. But it's not until McGinty's latest Lodge meeting, that another clue is run to ground. It turns out that the oddly charismatic man that turns up occasionally, to talk to the lodge master, is the very man named in the Look To The Future! flyers. He seems otherwise quite ordinary, but McGinty is on the phone to Rondale straight away. Alas, he completely failed to notice the mystery man's bodyguard right behind him, listening to McGinty's end of the conversation with interest, until too late. The lodge master and his mysterious friends repair to the basement, and despite McGinty and Rondale staking the building out until well after midnight, don't emerge. McGinty and Rondale, exercising an unusually high level of suicidal behavior, opt to go in after them, alone. Only stunning good fortune gets them out of there alive, although they use up all their dynamite supplies and they ruin a rather interesting hole by shooting the first thing that comes out and dropping a live grenade back through the other way. McGinty develops an unfortunate tendency to check his gun every few minutes. He's going to need it, once the beings they've managed to annoy confirm who is responsible for the evening's events... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Tom 2009 Posted May 12, 2011 Report Share Posted May 12, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Sounds like the prep crew down in the really Deep South had better get McGinty's level ready for him... it looks like he's going to need it. Major Tom 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lonewalker Posted May 13, 2011 Report Share Posted May 13, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... More catching up on my duty as quotes-recorder for teh Bunneh's Fantasy HERO campaign - the Chronicles of Foxton. --- Relevant PCs Lady Isobelle Hawthorne: Noblewoman and duelist from neighboring Shelinsibeau appointed Captain of the Baron's Guard. Takes her responsibilities very seriously. Damien Wrathchild: Blademaster and expert procurer of information serving the Baron of Foxton. Outwardly charming but hides a cunning, ruthless streak. Quion Rake: Taciturn and emotionless (by choice) alchemist serving as records clerk to the Baron. Tortured by guilt over a perceived crime from the past. Wythri Majaera: Young Elf exiled from her homeland of Pasion and serving as Court Magician in Foxton. Slightly mad due to the influence of her Wild Magik. Wallace Gunn: Humble and simple druid and woodsman hired on as the Baron's Forester. Slow-witted and uneducated but dedicated to his duty. Errol Wanderfar: A Goodfellow Hobbit, battle wizard, and leader of the Deadly Seven. Very dedicated to making the team work. Brictius the Gray: Gray Elfin Preliator (spearfighter) from Pasion. Cool and collected with only a hint of superior snoot. Tatiana: Green Elfin Jill also from Pasion. Mistress of the hand axe, the swift attack, and the inability to sit still and shut up. Benedikt: Human Seeker (priest of the Cold Gods). Pragmatic, aggressive 'worshipper' for Cromm - god of war and strength. Randall Stowes: Human Warrior from Demoria. Academy trained swordsman and budding knight. Strong-armed but slow thinking. Keinan Murdoch: Human Warden (holy warrior of Adrom - Druidic god of the hunt) from Nekia. Expert archer and tracker. Brandwyn Wright: Human Taleweaver from Demoria. Bright, cheerful, friendly, and wondering why she's with this group of misfits. Featherlight: Green Elfin Master of the Hunt in Foxton. Taciturn and precise. Deadly accurate with her bow. --- Wythri the eccentric Wild Mage is called to a private meeting with the Baron of Foxton.... Baron du Clef (NPC): Just so you know, you're not in any trouble. Wythri: Give it time. Baron du Clef (NPC): Fair enough. Wythri is referring to her Wild Magic's Wild Surge tendency. No, really... Wythri: It's not healthy for me to go off like that. The Baron's elite are battling a vengeful revenant and finally have it on the ropes... Featherlight: Can you enchant my bow, Baron? I intend to killsteal. During a discussion as to whether or not Lady Hawthorne tends to be overly harsh and final in her judgments... Hawthorne: I have a warm personality. Quion: Yes, when you're on fire. Errol, Hobbit Wizard of the Deadly Seven, has improved some of his spells... Errol: I upgraded my Summon Monster spell! Kienan: So you have what...a border collie now? Shortly after the reckless Tatiana has dashed ahead of team and gotten into a spot of trouble... Kienan: Would it be foolish of me to ask if you learned anything? Following the dead silence that usually greets Tatiana's mile-a-minute hyperactive speech patterns... Randall: You know, the reason no one responds to you is because they have no idea what you said. The Deadly Seven are sent out into the woodlands with a flock of carrier pigeons with which they can send regular reports. Of course, adventurers get hungry... Tatiana: We should send a pigeon back asking for more pigeons. While trekking through the forest, the Deadly Seven are caught in a downpour. Benedikt is the most vocally annoyed... Kienan: But we thought the rain would remind you of home. Benedikt: I left home for a ******* reason! During a discussion about how closely related Hobbits and Humans might be... Randall: I don't think you're the same species. Kienan: Can you in fact crossbreed with Humans? Errol: Well, I've been trying really, really hard the past few days... What passes for a war-cry from the false refined Elven spearfighter... Brictius: Come on, you goat-shagging wool buggerer, let's see what you look like in the open. The Deadly Seven find their quarry, namely a massive owlbear with taloned tentacles instead of arms and a troll's ability to regenerate... Benedikt: Can we fight normal monsters? Randall: "Normal" and "monster" don't usually go together. After the promiscuous Tatiana makes a concerned comment about the tentacles... Brandwyn: Waitaminute, the Elf is afraid of being violated? Randall, a close-quarters fighter, bemoans the seemingly more effective ranged attacks of his companions... Randall: Well, if you're just going to shoot it, I'm going back to bed! Kienan puts two arrows into the skull of the mutated owlbear with next to no effect... GM: The arrows in its head aren't really bothering it. Brictius: But with Another arrow it should be able to get HBO. Random comment about Tatiana... Benedikt: She's a lick-and-stick Elf. Following the harrowing battle with the owlbear, the Deadly Seven find evidence that hints at the involvement of Doctor Rothbury, another Monster Hunter. Errol tries to talk them out of an immediate attack... Errol: We could try talking to the Doctor. Deadly Seven: Errol: Am I not speaking any language you understand? The Deadly Seven adopt a goat, naming it Lucky George. After Errol's poor performance in the battle with the owlbear, the eccentric adventurers suggest making the goat their new leader... Tatiana: Lucky George says you're fired. Errol: You guys suck. Tatiana: That's how I got him to fire you. Quion and Wythri pool their knowledge and skills in analyzing alchemical and biological remnants found by the Deadly Seven. Their coordinated skill rolls are impressive... Quion: We are awesome together. Wythri: But it's still just a platonic relationship. Quion: Agreed, we are platonic awesome. In a discussion about the variety of deadly creatures to be found in the faraway desert kingdom of Kidbod... Baron du Clef (NPC): There's a ****load of poisonous things down there. Damien: And that's just the women. The Baron orders his elite team to question Doctor Rothbury. He emphasizes that no harm can come to the Doctor without evidence and a proper trial... Gunn: Ah, you Demorians and your due process. Doctor Rothbury launches into a complicated discussion about biology, genetics, and xenobiology...then notices a distinct lack of comprehension from the characters... Damien: You're not talking above our knowledge base....you're talking above our Give-a-**** base. Wisdom from Benedikt... Benedikt: Save a horse. Ride a Monster Hunter. Doctor Rothbury implies that the Deadly Seven might be responsible for the increase in monster activity, despite Hawthorne's doubt as to the intelligence of Adventurers... Dr Rothbury (NPC): True that Adventurers are not very intelligent, but they possess a certain low cunning. Traveling back from the home of Doctor Rothbury, the city-based characters discover that they have a serious lack in outdoors skills. Even hunting is tricky... Damien: I could assassinate a deer. Hawthrone discusses with some of her aides who should accompany her on a diplomatic mission to the local Giants clans... Hawthorne: We should take Quion, though he doesn't travel well. Wythri: Have we tried a big Tupperware? Wythri comments on Baron's wisdom in hiring Damien as a spymaster... Wythri: If Damien didn't have a constructive outlet for his violent tendencies, he'd have to be an Adventurer. Brandwyn, young Taleweaver of the Deadly Seven, is invited to join the diplomatic group because of her language skills... Brandwyn: I speak both High and Hill Giantish...y'know, country AND western! Random comment relating to professional adventurers... Benedikt: I have Survival: Tavern. After the first day of travel, the party prepares to make camp... Hawthorne: We should set watches. Wythri: Isn't that why we brought the Adventurers? During the night following a few days of travel, the party is plagued by frightening dreams or painful memories. The GM calls each player out of the room one at a time. As Gunn's player comes back from his turn... Gunn (NPC): Next up for a bit of existential angst. Fairly typical sweet talking by an Adventurer... Brictius: Miss Majaera, do you have any hobbies? Because you can do me in your spare time if you'd like. Benedikt, Randall, and Brandwyn all manage to sleep through their watch. Errol pulls them aside for an explanation... Errol: Since I'm not going to get a coherent answer from these two, I'm asking you, Brandwyn. Randall: But I actually I have my answer ready this time! Before Quion can launch into an overly wordy explanation of the situation... Hawthorne: Quion, please keep the facts to a minimum. More typical Benedikt, who worships Cromm, God of Strength... Benedikt: Not now - I'm yelling at my god! Randall and Benedikt spend themselves ferociously against a powerful Hill Giant when Hawthorne springs forward to finish it off... Randall: Killstealer! Following a battle with a patrol of Hill Giants, the party realizes that one of the giant clans is plotting conquest of Foxton. Hawthorne appropriately interrupts Wythri when the Elf is trying to talk some of the Deadly Seven into giving up the adventuring lifestyle... Hawthorne: Wythri, make them better people AFTER they help kill all the giants. --- Hope you enjoyed. Next up will hopefully be quotes from BunnySue's Golden Age Champions game. Lonewalker Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shadow Hawk Posted May 15, 2011 Report Share Posted May 15, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... This was the last session of our current (4th edition DnD) campaign. The GM is studying for the bar exam* and feels he can't do proper prep time for the campaign. A new campaign starts with one of our regulars behind the screen. Our cast... Sora, Dragonborn Fighter Thorfin, Dwarf Paladin Raiden, Tiefling Rogue Varus, Elf Rogue Brenn, Eladrin Wizard Asterix, Gnome Hexblade The party crashes into the Baron's keep... npc: Baron, were you expecting guests? Thorfin: Guess who's coming to dinner. Breen explains: Sora, this is the guy who's been trying to have us killed. Raiden refuses to betray the party Raiden: I have my standards Varus: Low standards, but still... npc Baron: I want you all dead! Varus: I take that personally. Baron: How do you feel after facing all my guards? Thorfin: Warmed up, thanks. Sora is upset about letting npc's run: You're letting the experience points escape! Baron: Resistance is futile! Asterix: I'll have to find a ohm elsewhere. Thorfin: A ohm for a gnome? Asterix complains about the food quality: Your wine cellar is fit only for vinegarette! Thorfin: And everyone goes "Huh?" GM: Raiden, three two one Fight! You hear this whereever you go. Sora: Finish him! Conga Line of Death GM encourages the NPCs: That guy needs to put a battleax in your head. Thorfin: I'm trying! GM: Not you! Varus uses his sword Rolls, and misses. Uses Elven Accuracy to reroll, and misses. Uses Rogue's Luck to reroll, and hits. Thorfin: Hiesenberg Uncertainty Sword. You know it's going to hit, but not when. *Talk about rules lawyers! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drhoz Posted May 15, 2011 Report Share Posted May 15, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Dark Heresy - I missed a session, and I'm told all quotes from it are sealed by Inquisitorial Order. That said, it turns out that the reason we haven't seen Rosenkrantz around is because the Sisters of Battle ( incognito on Myen-Fio ) had him snatched off the street and have been torturing him for a week. Partly because he tried to crack onto one of them, mostly because somebody spray-painted a Chaos Star/Smiley Face onto their sanctified tank, and they think he was involved. Guildenstern and Astropath Aleks spent all last session attempting to track him down, and with the Bishop's approval are taking over the investigation, to the Canoness' fury. Elsewhere Brother Polonius is working on his sermon for the Feastday of Saint Solar Macharius. Bishop Pius : Do you actually think the Tau are going to let you live after this? Polonius : Not especially. I anticipate a sniper, in fact, so I'm keeping the sermon short. The Bishop doesn't like Polonius much - long-standing Noble House rivalry back on Kringle. So he's gone out of his way to make life difficult for Polonius on multiple occasions. Guildenstern approves. GM : So, how would you rate the Bishop as a rival? Guildenstern : Awesome At least the local Ecclesiarchy are treating Polonius well while he writes up his call to genocidal crusade, giving him the use of servitors to dictate to, and wine and good food as he does so. Polonius : Let me guess - the wine is watered down? GM : Yup. Polonius : And they've cut the sausage ration? GM : Correct. Polonius : That does it, I'm nailing my proclamation to the cathedral door. Aleks and Guildenstern cleverly defend Rosenkrantz against the charge of offending the honour of the Sisters of Battle. Aleks : How can he be guilty of that, when, officially, there are no Sisters of Battle on this planet? Rosenkrantz hasn't taken the week of judicial excruciation at all well. Indeed, when the sisters drag him from his cell he's sure it's because they're finally going to execute him. So finding Guildenstern and Aleks there pleading his case leaves him a little disorientated. Rosenkrantz : What's going on? Aleks : You've been tortured into insanity. Don't worry about it. GM : Sensation slowly returns to your limbs and genitals.. Rosenkrantz : Oh god, I wish it hadn't. Rosenkrantz : Hey, my nuts are pink again! GM : Please don't test them for functionality. Rosenkrantz : I've just been tortured for a week and you think I should see a medic? Guildenstern, I appreciate the rescue and everything, but that has to to be the stupidest thing you've ever said. Rosenkrantz is released into Guildenstern's tender care, on the provision that he is appropriately punished for everything his actually did do. Guildenstern : So, how are we going to chastise him? Aleks : That's up to you, you're his Confessor. Polonius : And he'll certainly be confessing if he knows what's good for him. Guildenstern and Aleks commandeer a group of armed acolytes and a truck and set out to round up everybody actually involved or remotely suspected of involvement in the desecration of the tank. This process involves knocking on the suspects doors, throwing a hessian sack over their heads, and grabbing everybody else in the building, throwing them into the truck and bugging out before the Tau authorities arrive. By the time they're getting around to the 4th and 5th names on the list, the kidnapping are on the news, and there's a good chance that the other conspirators already know that, for example, Hubert has just been taken by masked men. Happily, the secret police have an answer for that. Guildenstern and Co : *bang bang bang on door* Suspect : Who is it? What do you want? Guildenstern and Co : Hubert's in trouble! Open up! Suspect : What? *opens door* Guildenstern and Co : *bag and snatch* Sufficient evidence to damn the suspects is found in the form of wargaming figurines clearly based on the Traitor Legions. Arbiter Judge Severus : Nice paint job. Good conversion work. Kill him, he clearly knows too much about Plague Marines. Bishop Pius is a wargamer in his free time as well, it turns out. Clearly a holdover from his long-distant military careeer. He's a bit put out to hear the suspects have been executed. Bishop Pius : Damn, I was looking forward to a good game against Chaos Marines. Guildenstern : Well, look on the bright side, your Excellency. You win by default. Polonius is doing the finishing touches on his sermon, with advice from the servitors. Servitor : Sentence Fragment. Consider Revising. The Bishop has sent along some exit pills in the event the Tau try and take Polonius alive after the sermon. Polonius : Tell the Bishop I thank him for the gift, but why does this pill box have an engraved skull on it? GM : Everything Imperial does XD Polonius : True XD The Feastday opens with the usual procession through town of veterans, clergy and nobility, festooned with Promethium torches and burning effigies of all the alien races exterminated during Macharius' crusade from Holy Terra to the fringes of the galaxy. Nonetheless, Eldar ambassadors from Iyanden and U Thara craftworlds and their retinue are in attendance. The Tau riot suppression forces are hanging inconspicuously nearby, but they have no idea what Polonius is about to unleash. Polonius : Brothers. Sisters. I will now read from the Book of Solar Macharius, Chapter 412, Verses 25 to 40. 'And the Lord Solar stood before the Gates of Moldor, and his armies trembled, fearing that the the favour of the GOD-EMPEROR was no longer upon them, that HIS light was faint this far from Holy Terra. But the Lord Solar turned to his people and spake "The GOD-EMPEROR has not forgotten us. HIS will strengthens our arms, HIS light stirs the valour in our hearts. There is nothing that we who faith in HIM cannot achieve, no foe we cannot cast down. Stand, then, and fight in HIS name." And the armies of Man stood up, and the Gates of Moldor were cast down, and the crusade of the Lord Solar moved on to the worlds of the Eastern Fringe, the light of the GOD-EMPEROR strong in their hearts.' Brothers. Sisters. It may be that some of you feel doubt, this far out on the edge of the galaxy. You may fear that the God-Emperor has forgotten you, and cast you here into outer darkness. But I have come from the Shrineworld of Kringle to prove to you that HE has not forgotten you, that HIS gaze is upon you even here. When you stand at night and look up at the galaxy that is your birthright, know that HE is there. Is not the Miracle of the Black Monoliths enough to prove that HIS voice is there for all those will the will to listen? But doubt cannot be cast out without an act of faith. You must prove yourselves worthy of HIS love. You have seen the threat to HIS people, HIS Holy shrines, the menaces that grows like a weed here in this far-flung garden of humanity. I beg you - prove yourselves worthy of the God-Emperor - exterminate the Orks. Amazingly enough Polonius survives the rest of the mass, although the mass rush of the congregation to sign up for the crusade does make the Eldar visibly defensive. And as Polonius is nailing the Articles of Genocide up to the cathedral door, the U Tharan ambassador makes the mistake of trying a psychic attack on Polonius, that Astropath Aleks immediately decries. As Guildenstern and the entire human congregation grab improvised weapons and prepare to descend on the Eldar en mass, and both Eldar contingents draw weapons in self-defence, Polonius performs a miracle - he manages to prevent a genocidal crusade, mere minutes after provoking another. Polonius : Hold, Brother. If the elves think that they can sway a man of Kringle with their witchery, let us not raise our hands against them for that. Let us instead treat this cowardice with the contempt it deserves. Show them that we are not afraid of them, and spit in the face of their cowardly psychic ways. GM : You're going to use the Eldar ambassadors as political toys? They might not like that. Polonius : Of course I'm going to use them as political toys. Just not openly. The U Tharan ambassador froths slightly, and froths even more when the riot police arrive and Aleks accuses them of psychic assault. Diplomatic immunity aside, the Fire Caste orders Polonius and the Ambassador arrested - or if they prefer, 'placed in protective custody' - until the Ethereal Caste can decide what to do with them. Polonius smoothly blesses all the civilians that have rushed to his defence, and is handing out Imperial coinage. After all, they all have the Icon of the God-Emperor on them. The crowd disperses, lead by Guildenstern, to hunt down and kill every Goblinoid they can catch, until transport up to the infestation on the moon can be arranged. The resident Gretchin, all too aware of which way the wind is blowing, have grabbed their meagre possessions and fled ahead of the pogrom. Tau riot tanks hose the crowds with water cannon and spray rubber bullets with abandon, but it's not enough to stop Guildenstern and his mobs from burning half the shantytown to the ground. Eldar civilians, closer to humans on a xenocidal spree than most of them ever wish to be, barricade themselves in their homes. Guildernstern thinks this is all quite wonderful, and leads the mob in a few traditional Kringle carols. Guildenstern : *waving a flamethrower and autopistol, as burning Gretchin swing from the lamposts* Kringlemas has come early this year! Guildenstern *singing* : Guildenstern's a-coming, his flamer is a-humming, He's gonna cook you to a turn, LET IT BURN, LET IT BURN, LET IT BURN! GM : One way they can stop you using psychic abilities is strap a bomb around your neck. If it detects a certain amount of brain activity in you, it goes off. Guildenstern OOC : I've got to get me one of those! Polonius OOC : I don't think too much brain activity is ever going to be a problem for you, Guildenstern. The trial the next day, the televised judgements make interesting comparative viewing. Polonius, looking only slightly smug at his role is mass civil insurrection and invoking genocide, contrasts nicely against the outraged and arrogant U Tharan ambassador who having his diplomatic status revoked. He's also confident that there's not much the Tau can do to him. If they kill him, they'll just make him a martyr to the cause. He calculates the most likely result is that they'll send him to 'assist in the pacification of the deathworld in the neighbouring system'. He's fine with that - the conditions aren't that much worse than they were back on Kringle. Aleks, Guildenstern and, interestingly, the Iyanden Eldar ambassador, all speak on Polonius' behalf. Guildenstern is particularly scathing on the Tau's endless diplomatic talks when decisive action is needed against the Orks, pointing out that it was humans - specifically Polonius, Rosenkrantz and himself, that rescued one of the Ethereals from the Ork-invested crater while the Tau Fire Caste sat back waiting for orders ( not mentioning the fact that the only reason we were in position for the rescue was because we'd help set up the crash in the first place ) Guildenstern : If we hadn't rescued him he'd be a blue smear by now, or strapped to the front of a war-buggy! The Iyanden Farseer seems to have used the entire situation to teach the U Tharan's a lesson, but urges the civilised peoples of Myen-Fio to put aside their differences and fight the greater threats to the galaxy. Farseer : The galaxy is a small place, and it is true that sometimes we will wish to kill each other. But to Polonius's horror, the Tau have come up with a punishment that will kill his ecclesiastic career, ruin his reputation with the crusade, and neatly save the human church from having a popular demagogue around. They're making him liaison officer to a group of Loyalist Blood Axe Orks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Tom 2009 Posted May 15, 2011 Report Share Posted May 15, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Dark Heresy - I missed a session, and I'm told all quotes from it are sealed by Inquisitorial Order. That said, it turns out that the reason we haven't seen Rosenkrantz around is because the Sisters of Battle ( incognito on Myen-Fio ) had him snatched off the street and have been torturing him for a week. Partly because he tried to crack onto one of them, mostly because somebody spray-painted a Chaos Star/Smiley Face onto their sanctified tank, and they think he was involved. Guildenstern and Astropath Aleks spent all last session attempting to track him down, and with the Bishop's approval are taking over the investigation, to the Canoness' fury. Elsewhere Brother Polonius is working on his sermon for the Feastday of Saint Solar Macharius. Bishop Pius : Do you actually think the Tau are going to let you live after this? Polonius : Not especially. I anticipate a sniper, in fact, so I'm keeping the sermon short. The Bishop doesn't like Polonius much - long-standing Noble House rivalry back on Kringle. So he's gone out of his way to make life difficult for Polonius on multiple occasions. Guildenstern approves. GM : So, how would you rate the Bishop as a rival? Guildenstern : Awesome At least the local Ecclesiarchy are treating Polonius well while he writes up his call to genocidal crusade, giving him the use of servitors to dictate to, and wine and good food as he does so. Polonius : Let me guess - the wine is watered down? GM : Yup. Polonius : And they've cut the sausage ration? GM : Correct. Polonius : That does it, I'm nailing my proclamation to the cathedral door. Aleks and Guildenstern cleverly defend Rosenkrantz against the charge of offending the honour of the Sisters of Battle. Aleks : How can he be guilty of that, when, officially, there are no Sisters of Battle on this planet? Rosenkrantz hasn't taken the week of judicial excruciation at all well. Indeed, when the sisters drag him from his cell he's sure it's because they're finally going to execute him. So finding Guildenstern and Aleks there pleading his case leaves him a little disorientated. Rosenkrantz : What's going on? Aleks : You've been tortured into insanity. Don't worry about it. GM : Sensation slowly returns to your limbs and genitals.. Rosenkrantz : Oh god, I wish it hadn't. Rosenkrantz : Hey, my nuts are pink again! GM : Please don't test them for functionality. Rosenkrantz : I've just been tortured for a week and you think I should see a medic? Guildenstern, I appreciate the rescue and everything, but that has to to be the stupidest thing you've ever said. Rosenkrantz is released into Guildenstern's tender care, on the provision that he is appropriately punished for everything his actually did do. Guildenstern : So, how are we going to chastise him? Aleks : That's up to you, you're his Confessor. Polonius : And he'll certainly be confessing if he knows what's good for him. Guildenstern and Aleks commandeer a group of armed acolytes and a truck and set out to round up everybody actually involved or remotely suspected of involvement in the desecration of the tank. This process involves knocking on the suspects doors, throwing a hessian sack over their heads, and grabbing everybody else in the building, throwing them into the truck and bugging out before the Tau authorities arrive. By the time they're getting around to the 4th and 5th names on the list, the kidnapping are on the news, and there's a good chance that the other conspirators already know that, for example, Hubert has just been taken by masked men. Happily, the secret police have an answer for that. Guildenstern and Co : *bang bang bang on door* Suspect : Who is it? What do you want? Guildenstern and Co : Hubert's in trouble! Open up! Suspect : What? *opens door* Guildenstern and Co : *bag and snatch* Sufficient evidence to damn the suspects is found in the form of wargaming figurines clearly based on the Traitor Legions. Arbiter Judge Severus : Nice paint job. Good conversion work. Kill him, he clearly knows too much about Plague Marines. Bishop Pius is a wargamer in his free time as well, it turns out. Clearly a holdover from his long-distant military careeer. He's a bit put out to hear the suspects have been executed. Bishop Pius : Damn, I was looking forward to a good game against Chaos Marines. Guildenstern : Well, look on the bright side, your Excellency. You win by default. Polonius is doing the finishing touches on his sermon, with advice from the servitors. Servitor : Sentence Fragment. Consider Revising. The Bishop has sent along some exit pills in the event the Tau try and take Polonius alive after the sermon. Polonius : Tell the Bishop I thank him for the gift, but why does this pill box have an engraved skull on it? GM : Everything Imperial does XD Polonius : True XD The Feastday opens with the usual procession through town of veterans, clergy and nobility, festooned with Promethium torches and burning effigies of all the alien races exterminated during Macharius' crusade from Holy Terra to the fringes of the galaxy. Nonetheless, Eldar ambassadors from Iyanden and U Thara craftworlds and their retinue are in attendance. The Tau riot suppression forces are hanging inconspicuously nearby, but they have no idea what Polonius is about to unleash. Polonius : Brothers. Sisters. I will now read from the Book of Solar Macharius, Chapter 412, Verses 25 to 40. 'And the Lord Solar stood before the Gates of Moldor, and his armies trembled, fearing that the the favour of the GOD-EMPEROR was no longer upon them, that HIS light was faint this far from Holy Terra. But the Lord Solar turned to his people and spake "The GOD-EMPEROR has not forgotten us. HIS will strengthens our arms, HIS light stirs the valour in our hearts. There is nothing that we who faith in HIM cannot achieve, no foe we cannot cast down. Stand, then, and fight in HIS name." And the armies of Man stood up, and the Gates of Moldor were cast down, and the crusade of the Lord Solar moved on to the worlds of the Eastern Fringe, the light of the GOD-EMPEROR strong in their hearts.' Brothers. Sisters. It may be that some of you feel doubt, this far out on the edge of the galaxy. You may fear that the God-Emperor has forgotten you, and cast you here into outer darkness. But I have come from the Shrineworld of Kringle to prove to you that HE has not forgotten you, that HIS gaze is upon you even here. When you stand at night and look up at the galaxy that is your birthright, know that HE is there. Is not the Miracle of the Black Monoliths enough to prove that HIS voice is there for all those will the will to listen? But doubt cannot be cast out without an act of faith. You must prove yourselves worthy of HIS love. You have seen the threat to HIS people, HIS Holy shrines, the menaces that grows like a weed here in this far-flung garden of humanity. I beg you - prove yourselves worthy of the God-Emperor - exterminate the Orks. Amazingly enough Polonius survives the rest of the mass, although the mass rush of the congregation to sign up for the crusade does make the Eldar visibly defensive. And as Polonius is nailing the Articles of Genocide up to the cathedral door, the U Tharan ambassador makes the mistake of trying a psychic attack on Polonius, that Astropath Aleks immediately decries. As Guildenstern and the entire human congregation grab improvised weapons and prepare to descend on the Eldar en mass, and both Eldar contingents draw weapons in self-defence, Polonius performs a miracle - he manages to prevent a genocidal crusade, mere minutes after provoking another. Polonius : Hold, Brother. If the elves think that they can sway a man of Kringle with their witchery, let us not raise our hands against them for that. Let us instead treat this cowardice with the contempt it deserves. Show them that we are not afraid of them, and spit in the face of their cowardly psychic ways. GM : You're going to use the Eldar ambassadors as political toys? They might not like that. Polonius : Of course I'm going to use them as political toys. Just not openly. The U Tharan ambassador froths slightly, and froths even more when the riot police arrive and Aleks accuses them of psychic assault. Diplomatic immunity aside, the Fire Caste orders Polonius and the Ambassador arrested - or if they prefer, 'placed in protective custody' - until the Ethereal Caste can decide what to do with them. Polonius smoothly blesses all the civilians that have rushed to his defence, and is handing out Imperial coinage. After all, they all have the Icon of the God-Emperor on them. The crowd disperses, lead by Guildenstern, to hunt down and kill every Goblinoid they can catch, until transport up to the infestation on the moon can be arranged. The resident Gretchin, all too aware of which way the wind is blowing, have grabbed their meagre possessions and fled ahead of the pogrom. Tau riot tanks hose the crowds with water cannon and spray rubber bullets with abandon, but it's not enough to stop Guildenstern and his mobs from burning half the shantytown to the ground. Eldar civilians, closer to humans on a xenocidal spree than most of them ever wish to be, barricade themselves in their homes. Guildernstern thinks this is all quite wonderful, and leads the mob in a few traditional Kringle carols. Guildenstern : *waving a flamethrower and autopistol, as burning Gretchin swing from the lamposts* Kringlemas has come early this year! Guildenstern *singing* : Guildenstern's a-coming, his flamer is a-humming, He's gonna cook you to a turn, LET IT BURN, LET IT BURN, LET IT BURN! GM : One way they can stop you using psychic abilities is strap a bomb around your neck. If it detects a certain amount of brain activity in you, it goes off. Guildenstern OOC : I've got to get me one of those! Polonius OOC : I don't think too much brain activity is ever going to be a problem for you, Guildenstern. The trial the next day, the televised judgements make interesting comparative viewing. Polonius, looking only slightly smug at his role is mass civil insurrection and invoking genocide, contrasts nicely against the outraged and arrogant U Tharan ambassador who having his diplomatic status revoked. He's also confident that there's not much the Tau can do to him. If they kill him, they'll just make him a martyr to the cause. He calculates the most likely result is that they'll send him to 'assist in the pacification of the deathworld in the neighbouring system'. He's fine with that - the conditions aren't that much worse than they were back on Kringle. Aleks, Guildenstern and, interestingly, the Iyanden Eldar ambassador, all speak on Polonius' behalf. Guildenstern is particularly scathing on the Tau's endless diplomatic talks when decisive action is needed against the Orks, pointing out that it was humans - specifically Polonius, Rosenkrantz and himself, that rescued one of the Ethereals from the Ork-invested crater while the Tau Fire Caste sat back waiting for orders ( not mentioning the fact that the only reason we were in position for the rescue was because we'd help set up the crash in the first place ) Guildenstern : If we hadn't rescued him he'd be a blue smear by now, or strapped to the front of a war-buggy! The Iyanden Farseer seems to have used the entire situation to teach the U Tharan's a lesson, but urges the civilised peoples of Myen-Fio to put aside their differences and fight the greater threats to the galaxy. Farseer : The galaxy is a small place, and it is true that sometimes we will wish to kill each other. But to Polonius's horror, the Tau have come up with a punishment that will kill his ecclesiastic career, ruin his reputation with the crusade, and neatly save the human church from having a popular demagogue around. They're making him liaison officer to a group of Loyalist Blood Axe Orks. Somehow, I expect that the phrase "Oh, Volkk me..." doesn't begin to come close to describe Polonius' horror about his new circumstances (). Major Tom 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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