Most Egregious Holiday Song(s)

[Pariah]

There is a lot of great music associated with this time of year - uplifting, encouraging, celebratory, and peaceful.

 

But, if we're being completely honest, there's also a lot of crap.

 

This is a thread where you can vent about that.

[Starlord]

 

[Pariah]

There are a handful of holiday songs that I don't like - the Wham non-Christmas break up song, the John Lennon non-Christmas protest song, others. But I think the one that bugs me the most is "Mary, Did You Know?"

 

Dude, she knew. Read the first chapter of the Gospel of St Luke. She knew, because the angel explained it to her in exquisite detail. Stop mansplaining the life of her child to her.

[Bazza]

90% (or make it 100%) of traditional Christmas carols. 

[DShomshak]

I really, really dislike "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer." Actually, I dislike most musical attempts at Christmas "humar," but I find this one particularly annoying, in ways I won't bother trying to analyze because life is short.

 

But there's one that's far worse: "Grandma Got Run Over Drinking Rainier." A parody of a parody, and so doubly idiotic in its attempt to be clever. Very much a song to amuse drunken morons.

 

(For those who never lived in the Pacific Northwest, we used to have Rainier Beer. Maybe still do, for all I know. That's Rainier as in Mount Rainier, one of our local volcanic landmarks, not Rainier as in "more rainy.")

 

Dean Shomshak

[death tribble]

38 minutes ago, Bazza said:

90% (or make it 100%) of traditional Christmas carols. 

PERSECUTE ! KILL THE HERETIC !

 

Christmas carols are the ones I like most of Church music. Silent Night and Hark the Herald Angels sing are wonderful. I find them uplifting.

[Ternaugh]

Try this list: https://www.esquire.com/entertainment/music/a40717/worst-christmas-songs/

[death tribble]

3 hours ago, Pariah said:

There are a handful of holiday songs that I don't like - the Wham non-Christmas break up song, the John Lennon non-Christmas protest song, others. But I think the one that bugs me the most is "Mary, Did You Know?"

 

Dude, she knew. Read the first chapter of the Gospel of St Luke. She knew, because the angel explained it to her in exquisite detail. Stop mansplaining the life of her child to her.

I have heard a lot worse so I give Last Christmas a pass. I get the dislike for Merry Christmas, War is Over by Lennon. But I have heard worse tripe.

I had never heard 'Mary Did You Know' so I played it on Youtube. I get the dislike on one play. The constant 'that you baby boy' got to me. I never need to hear it again.

 

Been racking my brain for a noxious holiday song. I don't like Mariah Carey's 'All I Want for Christmas' but then my mind dredged up one that is truly offensive. Destiny's Child '8 Days of Christmas' . A check list of things that are out of reach for most people on the planet.

Avoid it like the plague

[Bazza]

48 minutes ago, death tribble said:

PERSECUTE ! KILL THE HERETIC !

 

Christmas carols are the ones I like most of Church music. Silent Night and Hark the Herald Angels sing are wonderful. I find them uplifting.

 

 

Good for you. Silent Night and Hark the Herald Angels are goos, within their context. 

[death tribble]

48 minutes ago, Ternaugh said:

Try this list: https://www.esquire.com/entertainment/music/a40717/worst-christmas-songs/

I tried the list.

I would excise the Jackson 5 and Band Aid. And I don't have a problem with Wonderful Christmas Time.

But the rest ?

Do Americans loathe Christmas or something ?

For those of you who have not seen the list it has such treasures as Santa Claus has AIDS by Tiny Tim and Please Daddy Don't get Drunk at Christmas by John Denver. I like the Killers but 'Don't Shoot Me Santa' is just so wrong. The Joel Grey song about putting glue down so that Santa Claus will stay around all year sounds more like a woman or a young girl but is just wrong. Not cheerful enough to be forgivable and not creepy enough to worry. Carmen Electra and the Pussycat Dolls doing what I can only call an X-rated version of Santa Baby is so out of place. The what passes for costumes are just so wrong.

The cover versions should be used as examples of 'don't do songs like this' with Maroon 5 doing War is Over being the paramount example.

You don't need to hear the Justin Beiber or Lady Gaga ones even if you don't like them. And the Duck family one is just a shameless cash in. The Bon Jovi one I just could not understand. As for Pentatonix having heard one song from them, I don't ever need to hear another.

Ternaugh wins for this list.

[csyphrett]

I'm in the minority because I loathe Christmas. I can't wait for the season to pass.

 

But I like three christmas songs, and just these three.

Father Christmas by the Kinks because it reminds me I could be doing worse.

 

Merry Christmas from the Family because it reminds me of why I don't like being around people.

 

And Carol of the Bells by the right band because some music just needs to rock.

CES 

[Michael Hopcroft]

I don't really have a Christmas song loathe, and there are some I really like. But there are a few I don't really like. The worst, by far, is the date-rape anthem "Baby, It's Cold Outside". That "the Wolf" slipped "the Mouse" a roofie to get her compliance is unforgivable.

 

In the "Me-Too", Post-Cosby world we live in, we should honestly know better.

And for one of the ones I do like...

 

 

[Ragitsu]

 

[Tjack]

36 minutes ago, Michael Hopcroft said:

I don't really have a Christmas song loathe, and there are some I really like. But there are a few I don't really like. The worst, by far, is the date-rape anthem "Baby, It's Cold Outside". That "the Wolf" slipped "the Mouse" a roofie to get her compliance is unforgivable.

 

In the "Me-Too", Post-Cosby world we live in, we should honestly know better.

And for one of the ones I do like...

 

 

     I keep hearing “Baby it’s cold outside” called a rape song.  That’s crap.  Check out one of the classic versions, like Ray Charles & Betty Carter.        **I make no defense about versions that f¥@k with the lyrics.**
    Yes the guy is trying to convince the girl to stay...so what?   No one is being FORCED to do ANYTHING!!  While the #Me Too# movement and Cancel Culture have done good and great things shining light on dark places and forcing men of power to be responsible for their actions, not every human interaction is automatically evil.  Not every entreaty to stay a while is the same as slipping some girl a roofie.

     If you don’t like the song, fine.  I myself think it’s kind of trite and outdated.  But there have been a number of versions where the gender roles have been flipped and Glee did a version sung by two Gay males. Who’s the injured party there? 
     A dangerous side effect of these movements is the infantilization and disempowerment of Women.  The idea that a woman can’t just say “No thanks, I’m going home now.” unless there’s a crowd or even worse some men to pass a law or rule about it. 
     It’s just a dumb song.  Not a blacked out van and a locked basement.

[csyphrett]

The song was written and sung by a husband wife team. The problem is it was written in 44, and isn't a Christmas song

CES

[Matt the Bruins]

I don't like "The Little Drummer Boy," and play a game with friends each year to see who can avoid hearing it until Christmas.

 

This year I got Little Drummer Boyed by the muzak at a Chinese buffet.

[csyphrett]

16 minutes ago, Matt the Bruins said:

I don't like "The Little Drummer Boy," and play a game with friends each year to see who can avoid hearing it until Christmas.

 

This year I got Little Drummer Boyed by the muzak at a Chinese buffet.

Come they told me

Eat this sweet and sour pork

Rumpa tum tum

Rumpa tum tum

CES

[L. Marcus]

Isn't there a town called Rumpa-tum-tum?

 

No, wait, that's Pahrump.

[DShomshak]

33 minutes ago, Matt the Bruins said:

I don't like "The Little Drummer Boy," and play a game with friends each year to see who can avoid hearing it until Christmas.

 

This year I got Little Drummer Boyed by the muzak at a Chinese buffet.

Beat me to it. "Little Drummer Boy" is just such a tiresome, monotonous song.

 

Dean Shomshak

[Pariah]

I think of it this way: it's been a long, hard journey to Bethlehem. The Virgin Mary has just delivered the Holy Child. The baby is asleep. Somebody shows up and basically says, "You know what these folks need? A drum solo."

[Cygnia]

*ahem*

PREACH IT, PATTON~!

 

[Duke Bushido]

There's a level of deja vu about this thread, but here goes:

 

From the classics:

 

The Little Drummer Boy.  I would love to say "well, it really does go on and on, and it's irritatingly repetitive, but it's also just _stupid_.  Everything about the premise is _stupid_.  little boy wandering the streets in the middle of the night?  Stupid.  "Hey, I've got a new infant!  I am sure we will all rest better if this jackass kid beats on his drum from the next twenty five minutes!"  STUPID!

 

 

From the more modern stuff:

 

Feliz Navidad.  I am sure that everyone here is familiar with Weird Al's "This Song is Just Six Words Long."  Here, enjoy the Christmas version of that.

Elvis Presley's absolute murder of Blue Christmas.  Not my favorite song to begin with, but his version is a thing that makes me seethe with contempt for my fellow man.   Every time I hear either of these songs, I lose a piece of joyous holiday spirit that just won't be back until next year.

 

 

The "Wonderful Christmas Time" song-- just terrible.  Terrible.

 

_Anything_ by Mariah Carey, Christmas or not.  Look, I get it.  You can scream on key.  You can warble up and down through high notes and nearly ninety decibels.  You can exhale a single breath for over thirty minutes.  Yes; these are talents.  By the same token, the ability to plunge a knitting needle through your cheeks without flinching or perform the Tarzan yell are also talents, and just like those two examples, none of your talents are anything I want to be around.

 

That "So this is Christmas" or "Have a Very Merry Christmas" or whatever it's called where the singer is blubbering uncontrollably into the microphone while the Children of the Corn are in the backgroun going "AAHHaaaahhh AHHH AHHH---!" while plunging their daggers over and over into an infinite amount of Janet Leighs....

 

That thing that popped up a couple of years ago-- "Mary Did You Know--?"  Like the Little Drummer Boy, this thing suffers from both recursive and infinite stupidity-- an endless bounty of stupid within stupid within even more stupid.  If I recall the original text correctly (and we cover it quite in-depth several times around this time of year, every year, for most of my life), Mary was the _only one_ that did, in fact, one-hundred percent _actually know_!  So the question I have for the writer of this Christian religion-themed song is "there are two books that are the core of this religion, and only one from which all your references are drawn.  Have you considered sitting down and reading it?"  Why it is so ridiculously popular among observers of this religion is beyond me, given that they, too, should realize "uh...  why do you think that she didn't?"

 

There are others that just absolutely get under my skin, but then there is a sin bigger than song-- the absolute horror not just of hate, but of gleefully tormenting your fellow man.

 

I mean something evil beyond Stalin, beyond Hitler.  Yes: these were horrible, horrible people, without whom the world would be a better place.  But in the end, Hitler ordered the extermination and torture of millions of human beings.  But _other people_ actually _did_ it.  Other people actually grabbed a person bodily and beat them, or skinned them alive, or shoved them into furnaces.  This is the sort of evil I am talking about-- 

 

people like Mengele.  People like Baby Doc Duvalier.  People like the guy who told Burl Ives he could sing.

 

 

[Duke Bushido]

To make up for the ranting, let me hit you with a cute one I haven't heard since I was maybe six or seven years old.  Honestly, I didn't think I'd find it, but evidently the lady that recorded it was quite famous.  Who knew?

 

 

 

 

[Pariah]

Michael Bublé actually does a pretty nice version of that Mariah Carey holiday song.

 

I don't really mind that Mariah Carey song, to be truthful. For one thing, it's one of Lady P's favorites, and there's a certain tolerance and understanding that goes with that. And for another thing, I was working for an electronics store (colloquially known as Circuit Sh***y) when this song first came out, so it only took me a shift or two to become completely desensitized to it. 

 

[csyphrett]

My boy reminded me of a song that I hate but he likes Santa Claus hates poor kids

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