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Quote of the Week from my gaming group...


Darren Watts

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

I'm trying my hand as a player in a Pathfinder game. We're all playing wizards and witchs in a version of the Academae. My own PC is a half orc named Pakak who's been sent there as part of a cruel bet by two of the upper crust (Think "Trading places" but without someone to switch with) but he's determined to learn enough so he can better his lot in life.

 

of course, being a half orc, he's going to catch ### for it.

 

"Is there some sort of work for credit program here at the academy? I'm a good cook. Could slop for all youse...err could make you some decent meals."

 

Up in the front of the group, a pompous-looking elf blurts out, "Slopping? Did you wander in from the streets, half-breed?" His elf cronies snigger, as do a large portion of the group.

 

Pakak eyes the pompous elf giving a rather nasty glare, "Yeah, I think I saw your mother working on the corner of one. I didn't buy though, too big a risk of a diesase."

 

My first pathfinder campaign as a player, and I've already made friends with some NPCS ;)

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Playing in a Pathfinder Kingmaker campaign.

We already have established our kingdom, and several buildings.

A 'Philter of Love' was left at teh local shrine for payment of services.

The GM was reading the entry about it. "It's a permanent 'Charm Person'. It can be dispelled the usual ways: Dispel Magic, Break Enchantment..."

ME: "...Marriage."

The entire table broke up.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

The palindromedary stares at Cthullhu with one set of eyes' date=' stares at an Auditor with the other, and tries to grow a third head to look for where Pullman fits into all this[/quote']

 

Having lived in Pullman for four years, I can tell you that it'll need to grow that head in a ... nonstandard location.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Playing in a Pathfinder Kingmaker campaign.

We already have established our kingdom, and several buildings.

A 'Philter of Love' was left at teh local shrine for payment of services.

The GM was reading the entry about it. "It's a permanent 'Charm Person'. It can be dispelled the usual ways: Dispel Magic, Break Enchantment..."

ME: "...Marriage."

The entire table broke up.

 

They aren't alone :lol:

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Having lived in Pullman for four years' date=' I can tell you that it'll need to grow that head in a ... nonstandard location.[/quote']

 

The reference is to Phillip Pullman, and how he relates to Lovecraft and to Pratchett. Not to any of the locations named Pullman.

 

Lucius Alexander

 

And have you seen where the palindromedary grows heads?

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

More random quotes from teh Bunneh's Fantasy HERO campaign.

 

----

 

Dramatis Personae

 

Lady Isobelle Hawthorne: Noblewoman and duelist from neighboring Shelinsibeau appointed Captain of the Baron's Guard. Takes her responsibilities very seriously.

Lieutenant Niahm O'Derry: Professional warrior, medic, and officer serving in the Epotic Corps of the Demorian Draconians - the elite police force of the kingdom.

Damien Wrathchild: Blademaster and expert procurer of information serving the Baron of Foxton. Outwardly charming but hides a cunning, ruthless streak.

Quion Rake: Taciturn and emotionless (by choice) alchemist serving as records clerk to the Baron. Tortured by guilt over a perceived crime from the past.

Wythri Majaera: Young Elf exiled from her homeland of Pasion and working as an apprentice sage in Foxton. Slightly mad due to the influence of her Wild Magik.

Wallace Gunn: Humble and simple druid and woodsman hired on as the Baron's Forester. Slow-witted and uneducated but dedicated to his duty.

 

Sergeant Will: A very personable and friendly jack-of-all-trades - everyone likes Will - second in command for the Draconian night shift.

Officer Uri Barechest: A powerful warrior originally from Valorsheim - a tough fighter with a soft side for his family, a love of a good brawl, and no line between his brain and his mouth.

Officer Candor Silverstone: An Elven wizard from Pasion - curious, analytical and infinitely proper and polite.

Officer Radley "Tunnelmouse" Jones: A Hobbit ex-thief now on the side of the law - still finds old habits hard to break - has an immense appetite.

Trainee James Jameson: A young priest of Durom, from a long line of cops - still in training, but with the potential to be a great officer...if he can overcome his nervousness and fear of blood.

 

----

 

No one would call Isobelle Hawthorne a meddler but...

GM: Isobelle doesn't have her own subplots. She takes subplots from other characters when she doesn't think they're doing them right.

 

During a tutoring session with a local young Giant...

Gunn: This is your alphabet. There are many like them but this one is yours.

 

During a discussion Damien is having with Rishi, the local "madam" within the town of Foxton...

Rishi (NPC): You know, when a man and a woman love each other very much, he doesn't stab her with a knife.

Hawthorne: Well, he does...but not with a knife.

Damien: No wonder my relationships have all ended badly.

 

In reference to Hawthorne's propensity for trying to "fix" her companions' problems...

Damien: Hawthone is like Jiminy Cricket with a sword.

 

In reference to the Captain of the Draconians, the local military policing force...

Jameson: He does run a tight ship...until the night shift. Then it's a loose collection of rowboats.

Thunnelmouse: Leaky rowboats.

Uri: With rats.

 

One of Damien's underworld contacts has heard rumors that Damien is employed by the Baron's Captain, Lady Hawthorne...

NPC: I hear you're working for The Man these days.

Damien: I wouldn't call her that to her face.

 

Random suggestion...

Quion: Always take the job - you can always betray your employer later.

 

During a routine patrol, Niahm is attacked by an undead ghoul and takes a savage hit to the torso...

Jameson: No one bites the lieutenant in the chest and gets away with it!

Candor: Really? I thought that adventurer Benedikt did.

 

Uri and Tunnelmouse arrive to the ghoul fight but may be too far away to take part...

Candor: Quick! Throw the halfling at the ghoul!

Tunnelmouse: What?

Uri: That was the plan!

Tunnelmouse: WHAT?!

 

teh Bunneh lets characters with Luck make one roll per session per level of Luck and save those results to replace any 3d6 roll that directly involves the character. Wythri rolls a 4, a 6, and a 9...

Wythri: These Luck rolls are like nuclear missiles. You never actually use them, you just threaten to use them.

 

During a divine consecration that Gunn performs when the group discovers a days-old corpse in an isolated shack...

Gunn: Body, this is Ground. Ground, this is Body. I hope you two will be very happy together.

Hawthorne: It's a burial not a marriage.

Damien: So? Both indicate an end to life.

 

Random comment about Quion...

Damien: Now he smells like pickle and bubblegum.

 

While staying the night in the dead man's shack, Hawthorne's watch is alerted to a scratching at the front door....which after many a tense moment turned out to be a tree outside blowing in the wind...

Hawthorne: I am going out there and cutting it down...and all its friends.

Quion: You mean...all of its fronds.

 

What passes for dramatic speech during one of Gunn's attempts to rebuke undead attackers...

Gunn: I step outside and tell that undead monstrosity in no uncertain terms to return immediately to whatever misguided hell kitchen gave you that hall pass and STAY there!

 

Random Quion comment...

Quion: I'm looking forward to this in a dismal way.

 

----

 

More when I get 'em. Enjoy!

 

Lonewalker

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

I missed a few sessions, so I'm not up to date.

4th Edition DnD

 

Theren the Archer, Elven Ranger

Goguin the Faithful, Dwarven Cleric

Toarn the Maniac, Human Barbarian

Alek the Evil, Human Blackguard

Samm the Compensating, Human Fighter

Returning:

Sepheris the Scary, Shadow Rogue

and introducing

Darrek the Redundant, Dwarf Fighter

 

Samm draws fire...

Toarn: If they'd rather attack you, I'm OK with that.

 

GM: You are attacked by a blizzard.

Sepheris: We're being mugged by a Dairy Queen?

Samm: Isn't that a Wisconsin transvestite?

 

After defeating the muggers, the city guard arrives...

Therin: Is there a reward?

Guards: We could press charges on you.

Darrek: That is the opposite of a reward.

 

Entering the caves under the city...

Sepheris: So, if we encounter anything, we shoot first, then ask questions.

Alek: Shoot first then let the necromancer ask the questions.

 

OGRES!

GM: The Ogre Shaman uses rain windstorm.

Samm: East Wind Rain? (beat) Nobody gets the reference.

 

Sepheris misses her target...

GM: Sepheris missed.

Therin: I understand the words, but they make no sense in context.

 

Darrek is prepared!

Darrek: My magic amulet will keep me from rotting if I die.

Samm: So, you'll still be fresh when we eat your corpse?

 

Undead dragon!

Therin: It needs to die!

Goguin: It's already dead!

Toarn: Then it needs to stop moving around!

 

We take a break:

Goguin: Dwarves only need short rests.

 

Attacked by trolls, Therin kills one with each shot...

Therin: Now slaying number three... number three...

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Entering the caves under the city...

Sepheris: So, if we encounter anything, we shoot first, then ask questions.

Alek: Shoot first then let the necromancer ask the questions.

Never thought of that intepretion for that sentence.

 

Undead dragon!

Therin: It needs to die!

Goguin: It's already dead!

Toarn: Then it needs to stop moving around!

When will we finally get a word to describe undead stopping being undead?

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Some quotes from the Pathfinder Society's introductory games at GhenghisCon :

 

On one of Lloth's lines from Paul Kidd's 'Queen of the Demonweb Pits' - "I feel like a schoolgirl! Have the kitchen send one up."

 

Player
: Can we do that? Have the kitchen send one up?

GM
: I don't know, it's my first time

Player
: That's what
she
said!

 

GM
: Waiting paid off - there were only two of us before.... you guys spoiled a perfect romantic evening

 

Player
:
There are no gnomes.
They were all killed. With bolter rounds. I mean it - I hate gnomes so much I'm willing to import Space Marines just to wipe them out. 'Oh dear, we're out of bolter ammo - time to warm up the chainsword'.

 

Player One
: I'm a tiefling

Player Two
: Pardon?

Player One
: I'm a tiefling

Player Two
: Oh, I thought you said 'I'm a teapot'

 

First-time Gamer Girl
: Can we kill stuff now?

 

GM
: And now I have performance anxiety

Player One
: There's a pill for that.

 

Player Two
: Gnomes are all dead, aren't they? I heard that somewhere.

Player One
: Some sort of horrible massacre, wasn't it?
*looks innocent*

 

 

 

 

Cthulhu started off badly - McGinty's player was a no-show, so I had to pull out the back-up adventure, The Warren, from the first edition of Shadows of Yog-Sothoth. A ... flawed... module, to put it mildly, very much an early Chaosium product, but I needed an adventure on a hurry, and this one was available. But at least it gave Agents Johnson & Rondale their moment in the sun - the Office had asked them to look into the case of a mystery explosion at the abandoned Boucher house, and the possibly related disappearance of a demolitions expert, mostly to check that McGinty wasn't involved. Rondale et al are pretty sure he wasn't, despite the number of mystery explosions he's actually admitted to, but are happy enough to investigate.

 

GM
: After all, if McGinty
wasn't
involved, what are odds, what are the odds that it's anything horrible?

 

Aldous Quinn
: Of course it wasn't McGinty, it was 'Chucky Larms'

 

Agent Johnson
: Where
was
McGinty that day?

GM
: Tormenting Al.

Aldous Quinn
: But that just means he has an alibi!

 

Rondale
: So McGinty wasn't involved? Then we can leave this one for the police - problem solved

GM
:
*looks hurt*

 

Agent Johnson
: How did we explain Al's injuries?

GM
: He was trampled by a mob of rampaging English Majors.

Aldous Quinn
: And it's true, too!

 

 

Rather than doing any actual investigating, the investigators head straight out to the Boucher house with no idea on what to expect. At least they show some paranoia when they actually get there, and express some suspicion about the verdantly overgrown grounds, especially when they discover that all the bodies in the family mausoleum as missing.

 

Rondale
: Hmm. Maybe they used the bodies in some sort of plant growth ritual?

GM
: Could be - after all, it's part of Thanksgiving folklore that the Indians taught the Pilgrims to bury a dead fish next to each corn plant, and there's not that much difference between fish and people - just ask the folk of Innsmouth.

 

 

 

Speculation arises about what they might be facing - vampires or zombies seems likely. Rondale gives Johnson some advice.

Rondale
: You know what I said about 'shoot the head'? Do that.

Aldous
: It's good advice anyway - providing you want them dead.

 

GM
: Of course, if it is zombies, that's evidence McGinty is involved.

Johnson
: It is?

GM
: Sure is - ask Rondale about the South Boston warehouse case. Sure, McGinty denied all knowledge, but it
did
involve comical zombie arrangements and an illicit still. So the evidence is there...

 

 

Aldous gives the other two a impromptu lecture about the undead, methods of vampire disposal, and comparative burial practises, while the three drag a heavy bronze casket across the room.

GM
: All I can say is that they must have had a ****ing strange library at Sing Sing.

 

 

 

Eventually they turn their attentions to the interior of the house, and before long are turning up assorted skeletal remains.

Agent Johnson
: Can I tell anything about it?

GM
: Well, it's a bit late for first aid.

 

 

 

Clearly, their long association with McGinty has left the three of them slightly jaded with less horrific things - mere body parts become objects of sport.

Agent Johnson
: So do I lob this skull into the yard with the others?

 

GM
: You hear a rattling, rolling noise out in the corridor, and Johnson yelling 'Strike!'

Rondale
: We are NOT telling McGinty about this. In five seconds flat he'd be on a donkey playing Skull Polo.

GM
: How about a spot of ventriloquism?
*holds up skull*
Gottle o gere, gottle o geer!

 

 

Faced with yet another room to excavate -

 

Rondale
: Ten bucks says we find another body.

Agent Johnson
: No bet.

 

 

 

Assorted cash and valuables are also found lying around.

 

Rondale
: Well, there's our proof McGinty hasn't been here. Nobody's stolen the loot.

 

 

 

On top of their repeated and total failure to notice anything odd about the human remains, they also display a total inability to catch a curtain with a grappling hook. Indeed, they become quite disconcerted.

GM
: It must be some sort of illusion.

Rondale
: Or the room is non-Euclidean.

 

GM
: After all the horrible things he's done, why do you let McGinty live?

Rondale
: Well, sometimes there's a house that needs to die.

 

 

This one would seem to be a candidate, especially after they find out what happened to the missing demolitions expert.

 

Rondale
: He died as he had lived - exploding.

 

 

 

Aldous heads off to pick up McGinty, who should be overjoyed by this opportunity for some wanton destruction, especially if he's not paying for the dynamite.

 

Rondale
: Who ever said that high explosives solve nothing?

 

Aldous
: I'd do it myself, Mr Rondale, but all I remember from Mr. McGinty's lessons is that P = Plenty

 

 

Rondale and Johnson search the last few rooms while they wait, and find yet more remains.

 

Rondale OOC
: Who the hell lived here, the Brady Bunch?

 

 

Of course, a more important question is who is living their now - a question resolved with rapid retreat, and overtime paperwork for the ONI flamethrower squad. But at least somebody other than McGinty got an opportunity to cause major property damage for a change.

 

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Some quotes from the Pathfinder Society's introductory games at GhenghisCon :

 

On one of Lloth's lines from Paul Kidd's 'Queen of the Demonweb Pits' - "I feel like a schoolgirl! Have the kitchen send one up."

 

Player
: Can we do that? Have the kitchen send one up?

GM
: I don't know, it's my first time

Player
: That's what
she
said!

 

GM
: Waiting paid off - there were only two of us before.... you guys spoiled a perfect romantic evening

 

Player
:
There are no gnomes.
They were all killed. With bolter rounds. I mean it - I hate gnomes so much I'm willing to import Space Marines just to wipe them out. 'Oh dear, we're out of bolter ammo - time to warm up the chainsword'.

 

Player One
: I'm a tiefling

Player Two
: Pardon?

Player One
: I'm a tiefling

Player Two
: Oh, I thought you said 'I'm a teapot'

 

First-time Gamer Girl
: Can we kill stuff now?

 

GM
: And now I have performance anxiety

Player One
: There's a pill for that.

 

Player Two
: Gnomes are all dead, aren't they? I heard that somewhere.

Player One
: Some sort of horrible massacre, wasn't it?
*looks innocent*

 

 

 

 

Cthulhu started off badly - McGinty's player was a no-show, so I had to pull out the back-up adventure, The Warren, from the first edition of Shadows of Yog-Sothoth. A ... flawed... module, to put it mildly, very much an early Chaosium product, but I needed an adventure on a hurry, and this one was available. But at least it gave Agents Johnson & Rondale their moment in the sun - the Office had asked them to look into the case of a mystery explosion at the abandoned Boucher house, and the possibly related disappearance of a demolitions expert, mostly to check that McGinty wasn't involved. Rondale et al are pretty sure he wasn't, despite the number of mystery explosions he's actually admitted to, but are happy enough to investigate.

 

GM
: After all, if McGinty
wasn't
involved, what are odds, what are the odds that it's anything horrible?

 

Aldous Quinn
: Of course it wasn't McGinty, it was 'Chucky Larms'

 

Agent Johnson
: Where
was
McGinty that day?

GM
: Tormenting Al.

Aldous Quinn
: But that just means he has an alibi!

 

Rondale
: So McGinty wasn't involved? Then we can leave this one for the police - problem solved

GM
:
*looks hurt*

 

Agent Johnson
: How did we explain Al's injuries?

GM
: He was trampled by a mob of rampaging English Majors.

Aldous Quinn
: And it's true, too!

 

 

Rather than doing any actual investigating, the investigators head straight out to the Boucher house with no idea on what to expect. At least they show some paranoia when they actually get there, and express some suspicion about the verdantly overgrown grounds, especially when they discover that all the bodies in the family mausoleum as missing.

 

Rondale
: Hmm. Maybe they used the bodies in some sort of plant growth ritual?

GM
: Could be - after all, it's part of Thanksgiving folklore that the Indians taught the Pilgrims to bury a dead fish next to each corn plant, and there's not that much difference between fish and people - just ask the folk of Innsmouth.

 

 

 

Speculation arises about what they might be facing - vampires or zombies seems likely. Rondale gives Johnson some advice.

Rondale
: You know what I said about 'shoot the head'? Do that.

Aldous
: It's good advice anyway - providing you want them dead.

 

GM
: Of course, if it is zombies, that's evidence McGinty is involved.

Johnson
: It is?

GM
: Sure is - ask Rondale about the South Boston warehouse case. Sure, McGinty denied all knowledge, but it
did
involve comical zombie arrangements and an illicit still. So the evidence is there...

 

 

Aldous gives the other two a impromptu lecture about the undead, methods of vampire disposal, and comparative burial practises, while the three drag a heavy bronze casket across the room.

GM
: All I can say is that they must have had a ****ing strange library at Sing Sing.

 

 

 

Eventually they turn their attentions to the interior of the house, and before long are turning up assorted skeletal remains.

Agent Johnson
: Can I tell anything about it?

GM
: Well, it's a bit late for first aid.

 

 

 

Clearly, their long association with McGinty has left the three of them slightly jaded with less horrific things - mere body parts become objects of sport.

Agent Johnson
: So do I lob this skull into the yard with the others?

 

GM
: You hear a rattling, rolling noise out in the corridor, and Johnson yelling 'Strike!'

Rondale
: We are NOT telling McGinty about this. In five seconds flat he'd be on a donkey playing Skull Polo.

GM
: How about a spot of ventriloquism?
*holds up skull*
Gottle o gere, gottle o geer!

 

 

Faced with yet another room to excavate -

 

Rondale
: Ten bucks says we find another body.

Agent Johnson
: No bet.

 

 

 

Assorted cash and valuables are also found lying around.

 

Rondale
: Well, there's our proof McGinty hasn't been here. Nobody's stolen the loot.

 

 

 

On top of their repeated and total failure to notice anything odd about the human remains, they also display a total inability to catch a curtain with a grappling hook. Indeed, they become quite disconcerted.

GM
: It must be some sort of illusion.

Rondale
: Or the room is non-Euclidean.

 

GM
: After all the horrible things he's done, why do you let McGinty live?

Rondale
: Well, sometimes there's a house that needs to die.

 

 

This one would seem to be a candidate, especially after they find out what happened to the missing demolitions expert.

 

Rondale
: He died as he had lived - exploding.

 

 

 

Aldous heads off to pick up McGinty, who should be overjoyed by this opportunity for some wanton destruction, especially if he's not paying for the dynamite.

 

Rondale
: Who ever said that high explosives solve nothing?

 

Aldous
: I'd do it myself, Mr Rondale, but all I remember from Mr. McGinty's lessons is that P = Plenty

 

 

Rondale and Johnson search the last few rooms while they wait, and find yet more remains.

 

Rondale OOC
: Who the hell lived here, the Brady Bunch?

 

 

Of course, a more important question is who is living their now - a question resolved with rapid retreat, and overtime paperwork for the ONI flamethrower squad. But at least somebody other than McGinty got an opportunity to cause major property damage for a change.

 

 

I remember that house! It's been 25 yrs, but I have a quote from it.

 

Diana (My character): How do we fight these, these....what do we call these things?

John(GMPC): They're still Bouchers

 

He then deducted a point of sanity for the look on my face.

 

Lucius Alexander

 

Can you believe there was a time I didn't have a palindromedary?

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Perhaps we should ask Mr. Teatime....

 

Lucius Alexander

 

The palindromedary says YOU go ask him.

Two nights ago I tore off on a tangent discussing a theoretical model for time travel.

When I hit my conclusion there was a slight pause then my girlfriend looked at me and asked..

"So do you also have a plan to inhume the Soul Cake Duck?"

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Theren the Archer, Elven Ranger

Goguin the Faithful, Dwarven Cleric

Toarn the Maniac, Human Barbarian

Alek the Evil, Human Blackguard

Samm the Compensating, Human Fighter

Sepheris the Scary, Shadow Rogue

Darrek the Redundant, Dwarf Fighter

 

Exploring the caves...

GM: You hear heavy breathing.

Samm: Great, it's a pervert.

Darrek: Pervect!

Goguin: The force is strong with this one...

 

Dealing with the enemy

Sepheris: Shoot first, shoot second, shoot some more.

Samm: If violence wasn't your last resort, then you didn't use enough.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Yay! I get to contribute!

 

Hammer Horror / Castlevania flavored campaign.

 

Players:

Danut Coman - Dhampyr vampire slayer

Dr. Wulfric von Richtofen / Prof. Timothy Hues - Schizo werewolf scientist

Eve Smithdotter - Dragon-blooded human fire mage

Victor von Stadt - Occultist Monk

Rhashida - Recently risen mummy

 

The mummy has been made aware of her condition...

 

Dr. Wulfric von Richthofen -- "Apparently you are dead."

Rhashida -- "Come again?"

Wulfric (goes out and then comes in again) -- "Apparently you are dead."

 

On Eve incinerating a second vampire in one hit.

 

OOC -- "Burn *all* the things!"

 

Eve's player on Rhashida carrying her sarcophagus strapped to her a' la Gun Grave.

 

Eve (OOC) -- "I'm going to the drug store to get some Vick's. Stop the coffin."

 

Some PCs discover that Wulfric/Timothy is a werewolf.

 

Eve -- "The fact that he didn't try to eat us speaks much in his favor."

 

On Timothy's shenanigans.

 

GM -- "Man's best friend my *ss."

 

 

Rhashida -- "I rolled an 8 on Plot Convenience."

Victor -- "Do you even have that as a power?"

 

 

"Can we have a green van?"

(Stated when Danut's player realized that -- Danut = Fred, Wulfric = Scooby-Doo, Victor = Shaggy, Rhashida = Velma, and Eve = Daphne.)

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

 

 

Rhashida -- "I rolled an 8 on Plot Convenience."

Victor -- "Do you even have that as a power?"

 

 

 

Costs 8 for an 8 or less roll

 

Plot Convenience: Contact: Game Operations Director (Contact has extremely useful Skills or resources), Persistent (+1/4), Variable Special Effects (Any SFX; +1/2), Uncontrolled (+1/2), Organization Contact (x3) (17 Active Points); No Conscious Control (Only Effects cannot be controlled; -1) 8-

 

 

Lucius Alexander

 

the palindromedary files it alongside The Zornwil Effect. And the Batmite Powers of Summon Plot Complication and Summon Plot Exposition

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