Pariah Posted November 7, 2021 Report Share Posted November 7, 2021 ...especially when you're in a room with 100 or more. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted November 7, 2021 Report Share Posted November 7, 2021 My neighbors listen to some really great music, whether they want to or not. Pariah, wcw43921, Ockham's Spoon and 1 other 2 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aylwin13 Posted November 8, 2021 Report Share Posted November 8, 2021 5 hours ago, Logan.1179 said: My neighbors listen to some really great music, whether they want to or not. My neighbors listen to some really loud (and crappy) music - as do I, whether I want to or not. 🤬 Yeah, yeah, I know. This should have been in the Cranky Thread. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted November 8, 2021 Report Share Posted November 8, 2021 I saw one of those Facebook phishing posts that posed the challenge "Name a state without the letter E". So I typed in "Nw Mxico". Logan D. Hurricanes 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
death tribble Posted November 8, 2021 Report Share Posted November 8, 2021 When chased by an angry pack of taxidermists, do not play dead Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted November 8, 2021 Report Share Posted November 8, 2021 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted November 8, 2021 Report Share Posted November 8, 2021 3 hours ago, death tribble said: When chased by an angry pack of taxidermists, do not play dead That's one for the Advice and Fortune Cookie threads. ==================== 9 hours ago, Pariah said: I saw one of those Facebook phishing posts that posed the challenge "Name a state without the letter E". So I typed in "Nw Mxico". Better would be, "Idiocy". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted November 9, 2021 Report Share Posted November 9, 2021 I gave my wife a glue stick instead of lipstick on accident. She still won't talk to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted November 10, 2021 Report Share Posted November 10, 2021 My Wife poked me in the eyes this morning. Guess I won't be seeing her anymore. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted November 10, 2021 Report Share Posted November 10, 2021 Q. Why wouldn’t the dentist tell the patient about his cavities? A. He didn’t want to hurt his fillings. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted November 10, 2021 Report Share Posted November 10, 2021 Q. What happens to toilet paper with good grades? A. It goes on the honour roll Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted November 10, 2021 Report Share Posted November 10, 2021 The RSPCA came looking for donations....so I gave them next door's cat. Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted November 11, 2021 Report Share Posted November 11, 2021 Beer may not make you smart, Budweiser. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted November 11, 2021 Report Share Posted November 11, 2021 A Scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone...but hay, it's in my jeans" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted November 11, 2021 Report Share Posted November 11, 2021 A member of our theatre group was discussing a play set in Tudor times and Henry VIII was mentioned, someone wondered aloud, 'when was he on the throne?'. An older member without missing a beat, replied, 'immediately after dinner' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted November 11, 2021 Report Share Posted November 11, 2021 Deep within a forest, a little turtle begins to climb a tree, perpetually slipping then regaining his hold to gain a little more height. After hours of effort, he reaches the top, and – inexplicably – is seen to throw himself from the top of the tree, waving his front legs. He crashes to the ground with a thump. After recovering, he climbs the tree again and does exactly the same thing, launching himself into the air, only to whump into the ground. A couple of birds sitting on a nearby branch watch his sad efforts. Finally, the female bird can stand it no more. She turns to her mate and chirps, ‘‘Dear, I think it’s time we told little Tommy that he’s adopted.’’ Tjack 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christougher Posted November 11, 2021 Report Share Posted November 11, 2021 What does the lazy Dalek say? Pro-cras-tin-ate. Pro-cras-tin-ate. Pro-cras-tin-ate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted November 11, 2021 Report Share Posted November 11, 2021 Every morning I announce loudly to my family that I'm going jogging, but then don't go. It's a running joke. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted November 11, 2021 Report Share Posted November 11, 2021 A friend of mine kept annoying me with puns about birds. But I taught him Toucan play that game! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted November 11, 2021 Report Share Posted November 11, 2021 A man walks in to the doctors office all panicked, “Doctor I’m shrinking!” The doctor replies, “Well, sir, you're going to have to learn to be a little patient.” Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted November 12, 2021 Report Share Posted November 12, 2021 Wife and I have a Visa card to purchase marijuana. It's a joint account. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted November 12, 2021 Report Share Posted November 12, 2021 Gang the bong, man. Or something. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted November 15, 2021 Report Share Posted November 15, 2021 I like my coffee like I like my women. Unintentionally neglected while I deal with some admin and eventually going cold on me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted November 16, 2021 Report Share Posted November 16, 2021 They're currently excavating the largest known dinosaur tibia to date. Apparently, it's a real shindig. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted November 16, 2021 Report Share Posted November 16, 2021 Q: What do you call a blind dinosaur? A: Doyathinkhesaurus? wcw43921 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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