Pariah Posted December 27, 2021 Report Share Posted December 27, 2021 One night after work, a man arrives home for dinner with an unannounced coworker. His wife freaks out. "I'm a wreck! I haven't showered or washed my hair today, the house is a mess, I'm still in sweatpants, and the kids are running wild! Why would you bring home a coworker without telling me first?" "Because he's considering getting married." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted December 27, 2021 Report Share Posted December 27, 2021 So he got married, right? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted December 29, 2021 Report Share Posted December 29, 2021 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ockham's Spoon Posted December 29, 2021 Report Share Posted December 29, 2021 In the days before the internet, the conventional wisdom was that collective stupidity was a result of lack of access to information. Well ... it wasn't that. Tjack and Pariah 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted December 29, 2021 Report Share Posted December 29, 2021 When I teach in the classroom, students usually laugh at my jokes. But when I teach online, they almost never laugh. I asked one of my students why that was. She said, "It's because your jokes aren't remotely funny." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted December 29, 2021 Report Share Posted December 29, 2021 Tequila may not fix your life, but it's worth a shot. Pariah and aylwin13 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
death tribble Posted December 30, 2021 Report Share Posted December 30, 2021 I want my stronghold to have a wide trench surrounding it filled with water. So moat it be ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted December 31, 2021 Report Share Posted December 31, 2021 Hyperbole is worse than Hitler. mattingly and Starlord 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted December 31, 2021 Report Share Posted December 31, 2021 Pariah and Tjack 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tjack Posted December 31, 2021 Report Share Posted December 31, 2021 8 minutes ago, Logan.1179 said: They used them.....just not in their own cuisine. But they have kebab & curry shops like the U.S. has burger joints. If you want to have some fun, try convincing an English cook to spice up a traditional English dish. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
death tribble Posted December 31, 2021 Report Share Posted December 31, 2021 We send them to the Tower...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BoloOfEarth Posted December 31, 2021 Report Share Posted December 31, 2021 1 hour ago, death tribble said: We send them to the Tower...... Is there a curry shop there? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
L. Marcus Posted January 1, 2022 Report Share Posted January 1, 2022 A notable tourist trap. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted January 1, 2022 Report Share Posted January 1, 2022 Since this is the joke thread: 2021. Did I tell it right? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted January 1, 2022 Report Share Posted January 1, 2022 You have a profoundly disturbing sense of humour if you think 2021 was a joke. (Which is part of what I admire about you.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted January 1, 2022 Report Share Posted January 1, 2022 When you see life through the veil, you can’t help but not laugh. The offer is a year long, come join me. We’ll have fun. And by fun, I mean see the world upside down which is how it is. Really! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted January 1, 2022 Report Share Posted January 1, 2022 There is a fine line between a numerator and a denominator. Only a fraction of people will find this funny. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted January 2, 2022 Report Share Posted January 2, 2022 Why you gotta post such divisive jokes, Log-Man? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tjack Posted January 2, 2022 Report Share Posted January 2, 2022 17 hours ago, Pariah said: You have a profoundly disturbing sense of humour if you think 2021 was a joke. (Which is part of what I admire about you.) Yes it was. The same way Helen Keller and Dead Baby jokes are. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted January 2, 2022 Report Share Posted January 2, 2022 It just doesn't add up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wcw43921 Posted January 2, 2022 Report Share Posted January 2, 2022 Babyproofing Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted January 2, 2022 Report Share Posted January 2, 2022 4 hours ago, Tjack said: Yes it was. The same way Helen Keller and Dead Baby jokes are. Don't overlook Mommy Mommy jokes! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ockham's Spoon Posted January 3, 2022 Report Share Posted January 3, 2022 My friend and I were in a bar last week when these four huge dudes who obviously had a hefty percentage of neanderthal DNA started mouthing off at us. So my friend says to me in a low voice "Okay, let's pretend we're the police and then these guys will leave us alone." It was a stupid plan though. I only got half-way through the first verse of "Roxanne" before we got the crap beat out of us. Pariah, Tjack, Logan D. Hurricanes and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted January 5, 2022 Report Share Posted January 5, 2022 A beech tree and a birch tree grew next to each other in a forest. In time a young sapling sprouted between them. The beech tree asked, "Is that sapling the son of a beech or the son of a birch?" The birch tree said it didn't know. About that time, a woodpecker landed nearby. The birch tree asked, "You're an expert on trees. Will you peck that sapling and tell us whether it's the son of a beech or the son of a birch?" The woodpecker obliged and reported, "That tree is neither the son of a beech nor the son of a birch, but it is the sweetest piece of ash I ever poked my pecker into." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted January 5, 2022 Report Share Posted January 5, 2022 Mommy Mommy, I'm tired of walking in circles! Spoiler Shut up, kid, or I'll nail your other foot to the floor too! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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