Pariah Posted February 5, 2022 Report Share Posted February 5, 2022 Him: "Did you know that there are more airplanes in the ocean than there are submarines in the sky?" Me: "Well, that's plane to sea." wcw43921 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted February 6, 2022 Report Share Posted February 6, 2022 People under 30: "Who's Neil Young?" People 31-60: "Neil Young is still alive?!" People over 60: "What's Spotify?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord Liaden Posted February 6, 2022 Report Share Posted February 6, 2022 True story: During the Beatles' first tour of the United States, a TV reporter asked John Lennon, "How did you find America?" Lennon replied, "I turned left at Greenland." mattingly and Pariah 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted February 6, 2022 Report Share Posted February 6, 2022 My wife told me she wanted to go to one of those restaurants where they make your food right in front of you. So I took her to Subway. Anyway, this couch is lumpier than I remember.... slikmar, Ockham's Spoon and Tjack 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord Liaden Posted February 6, 2022 Report Share Posted February 6, 2022 What do you call a cross-dressing vampire? A Transylvestite. 😖 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted February 6, 2022 Report Share Posted February 6, 2022 I was really struggling to get my wife's attention. So, I sat down on the sofa and looked comfortable. That did the trick. Tjack and Pariah 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Duke Bushido Posted February 6, 2022 Report Share Posted February 6, 2022 Tjack 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tjack Posted February 6, 2022 Report Share Posted February 6, 2022 11 hours ago, Lord Liaden said: What do you call a cross-dressing vampire? A Transylvestite. 😖 That or Dr. Frank N. Furter. slikmar 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted February 6, 2022 Report Share Posted February 6, 2022 1 hour ago, Duke Bushido said: The funniest part of this joke is the assertion that a phd with a sociology degree can settle the debate. An anthropologist or logician would likely have better shot. And if they both fail, I can help, solved this over the weekend. Duke Bushido 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted February 7, 2022 Report Share Posted February 7, 2022 Why do men go to bars to look for women? Go to Target. The female-male ratio is like 10 to 1, and the women are already there looking for something they don't need. mattingly 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted February 7, 2022 Report Share Posted February 7, 2022 Men? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted February 7, 2022 Report Share Posted February 7, 2022 To start a zoo, you need at least two pandas, one grizzly, and one polar. It's the bear minimum. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tjack Posted February 7, 2022 Report Share Posted February 7, 2022 10 hours ago, Pariah said: Why do men go to bars to look for women? Go to Target. The female-male ratio is like 10 to 1, and the women are already there looking for something they don't need. Have you seen the folks wandering around Target & Walmart!?! It’s like the cast of Tod Browning’s Freaks and the cantina scene from Star Wars crossbred. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ockham's Spoon Posted February 8, 2022 Report Share Posted February 8, 2022 I got a job at ComCast and completed the training, which is great because now I can fix my own cable. That might seem extreme, but it was faster than being on hold with customer service. Cancer, Pariah, Christougher and 1 other 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted February 8, 2022 Report Share Posted February 8, 2022 1 hour ago, Tjack said: Have you seen the folks wandering around Target & Walmart!?! It’s like the cast of Tod Browning’s Freaks and the cantina scene from Star Wars crossbred. That "crossbred" might, in fact, be the point .... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted February 10, 2022 Report Share Posted February 10, 2022 Good news!!! I've started investing in stocks... Mainly beef, chicken and vegetables. One day I hope to be a bouillonaire. I’m also not investing in fish stocks as they will flounder ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted February 10, 2022 Report Share Posted February 10, 2022 Liquid assets, eh? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted February 10, 2022 Report Share Posted February 10, 2022 No, stocks. Little cubes of powder. America calls it something different, maybe broth. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted February 10, 2022 Report Share Posted February 10, 2022 Those are right next to the pillory, aren't they? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted February 10, 2022 Report Share Posted February 10, 2022 Edited comment while you were replying. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted February 10, 2022 Report Share Posted February 10, 2022 So, I was in philosophy class. We were talking about AI in relation to the mind-body problem, and the professor said to flip to page 404. I couldn’t find it. Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted February 10, 2022 Report Share Posted February 10, 2022 Was it hard to adopt nihilism as your personal philosophy? Nah, there was nothing to it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted February 12, 2022 Report Share Posted February 12, 2022 On 2/6/2022 at 2:32 PM, Pariah said: People under 30: "Who's Neil Young?" People 31-60: "Neil Young is still alive?!" People over 60: "What's Spotify?" this is as much a comment about tradition as it is its dissolution. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted February 12, 2022 Report Share Posted February 12, 2022 Hey, I'm over 60, and I know what Spotify is. I don't use it, but I know what it is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted February 12, 2022 Report Share Posted February 12, 2022 20 minutes ago, Cancer said: Hey, I'm over 60, and I know what Spotify is. I don't use it, but I know what it is. Well, don't just keep it to yourself. Let the rest of us geezers know! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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