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Darren Watts

Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

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The PCs in my modified Champions Universe game have gone to visit Babylon.

 

After meeting their first Conurbite (the magical pretty people who live in Babylon), and I complete my description of her, I get back "It's Barbie Borg!"

 

I am now stuck thinking of Conurbites as Ken and Barbie versions of Star Trek's Borg, which is probably not too far off from how they appear from their description in Mystic World.

 

Babylon did allow me to entertain myself a bit when they bought a stripped-down copy (no weapons) of the Millenium Falcon from a Ferengi. They're now trying to figure out how to get it back to Earth.

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2 hours ago, Steve said:

Babylon did allow me to entertain myself a bit when they bought a stripped-down copy (no weapons) of the Millenium Falcon from a Ferengi. They're now trying to figure out how to get it back to Earth.

Earth? Isn't that in a galaxy far, far away? Way, way into the future?

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2 hours ago, Christopher said:

Earth? Isn't that in a galaxy far, far away? Way, way into the future?

 

Since the City of Babylon is described as including fictional places like the City of Oz and associated characters, I threw Star Trek and Star Wars pop culture references into a blender to get a Ferengi used starship dealer in Babylon selling stripped down copies of the Millenium Falcon to tourist rubes from Earth. Warp drive was too slow. :) 

 

They just now have to figure out how to get it from the City of Babylon's dimension to Earth and hope it actually gets them into hyperspace.

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Pathfinder : Streets of Magnimar - Tea and Biscuits and Organised Crime
Gillert: So we're sending the lawyer, the murderer and the straight guy.
GM: I'm sorry, I didn't realise we were playing Will and Grace - Magnimar.
Ys: When you live as long as an elf, you have to assume most of them are bi, sooner or later.
GM: Most elf parents just assume their kid is bi as soon as soon as they reach puberty.
Gillert: They get 'artistic leanings'

After getting plague masks, cloaks, and extra lamp oil, we re-enter the sewers to hunt down and exterminate the remaining were-rats. Somebody has set up an Alarm spell at the entrance we used last time. Gillert gets to work disabling the trap.

Ys: Zin might be the trapsmith, but Gillert is a useful back-up, and he's useful in other circumstances as well.
Harshal: Zin is useful in other circumstances as well. Such as if we need someone to crawl under the table and find something we dropped.
Gillert: Or for getting past traps set at human-standard neck height.
Harshal: 'The Penitent Man And Kobolds Will Pass'

We sneak up to where we fought Moonbreaker and Silversniffer before - Ys spots a faint light source ahead, since she has low-light vision and the rest of us need a candle-lamp to see where we're going. Whoever is down here with us is doing an inch-by-inch search of the chamber. And she's got five orange-and-white floofy tails. And her lightsource is a diminutive figure with mothwings and long thin ears.

Ys: I gesture back to the others to stay where they are, completely forgetting they can't see me.

The Flying Fox and her sprite turn invisible the moment Ys gets within 40 feet.

Ys: Hey, you're pretty good.

Harshal: So, who was it?
Ys: Our friendly neighborhood vigilante.
Gillert: .... Spiderman?

Gillert: What was she looking for?
Ys: No idea.
Harshal: Perhaps she and the were-rats are in cahoots.
Ys: Could be - where's Cahoots?
Harshal: Well, I was hoping I'd hear a small gasp of indignation at that point.
GM: Sorry, small thing called Unshakeable.
Ys: Well, let's find the lair - check the room for secret doors.
The Invisible Flying Fox: I didn't think of that.
Ys: Hello. It's easier to talk to somebody if everybody is visible.
Invisible Flying Fox: Easier, yes.
Gillert: Maybe I should throw some white powder around...
Invisible Flying Fox: You could - how would you like to be forcefed Shardgel?

The Flying Fox reappears, and grins intimidatingly at Gillert, showing all her sharp teeth.

The Flying Fox: A little bird told me the rats got hit.
Harshal: We heard the same thing.
The Flying Fox: What's you're interest in them?
Ys: Making sure they're all dealt with.
The Flying Fox: So it was you that did the hit.
Ys: That would be a safe assumption.
The Flying Fox: I heard Moonbreaker got taken down.
Ys: Would that be the big one?
The Flying Fox: Aw. And I'd already bought one of these. *tosses a grenade from hand to hand*
Ys: Wish I'd thought of that.
Gillert: I did.
Ys: YOU did.

The Flying Fox: They were searching for something. Pretty desperately, by the looks of things.
Harshal OoC: I bet it's the journal.
GM: Was that in-character?
Harshal OoC: No.
Gillert: Don't give the bad guys information.
GM: You ARE the bad guys!
Gillert: You can be evil and a good guy. It's called being an anti-hero.
GM: That's not how this works!

The Flying Fox: So why are you interested in the were-rats anyway?
Ys: Purely mercenary.
The Flying Fox: Someone paid you? Interesting.... and disappointing.
Harshal: People have to eat.
The Flying Fox: I guess that makes this a race *throws the grenade to the floor, where it explodes into entangling Shardgel foam, and runs off back the way we came*
Ys: I'm not even sure what we're racing after.
The Flying Fox: Gives me the advantage then!

We find no sign of where the were-rats have fled to. It might well be there, we're just crap at finding it. So we return to the surface to hunt down rumours instead, which we are MUCH better at. And even better, we know that firebrand-cum-investigative journalist at Parvo Crispin's newspaper, who takes shorthand notes of every bit of gossip she overhears.

Harshal also gets word that a relative from the Spire Clan is coming to Magnimar. This is probably going to be an issue.

Ys: Who is this person and why should I let him live?
Harshal: A relative. And the Clan already know he'll be staying with me.
Ys: That's not a reason to let him live.
GM: The last time Harshal had any relatives in town you killed them.
Gillert: YS killed them.
GM: And you were an accessory.
Gillert: I'm still trying to convince myself I had nothing to do with the actual stabbing.
GM: There's a reason it's called an adventuring party - it's because you're party to all the murder-hobo shenanigans.

Anyway, the rumours suggest the were-rats have had some kind of ideological split, and are involved in a three-way internal feud. Time to let the Nightscales know. And have another go at decoding that journal.

Harshal: Maybe we should keep killing were-rats until we find one that looks important and torture them for information about the journal. But if we kill them all the were-rat problem goes away anyway.

Gillert: You want to come, Ys?
Ys: No.
Harshal: I, however, am of a profession used to negotiations. And Gillert looks like a gullible idiot and will put them off their guard.
Gillert: I AM a gullible idiot - I keep hanging around with you lot.
Harshal: Exactly.

Harshal: Refreshments? You'll be pleased to know that after the removal of certain key individuals, our vermin problem has fractured into internal feuding.
Mr White: I'm sure that there are people within my organisation that will be concerned that you could engineer this. I am not one of those people. I care only about results.
Harshal: Good to know. However, there is additional information I thought you should be aware of. That vigilante has taking an interest.
Mr White: I see. That IS unfortunate.
Harshal: Apparently something about the situation appeals to her competitive spirit. I have no idea what that's about.
Mr White: Hmm. Still, since you have fulfilled your part of the bargain, it's time for us to fulfill ours.

Mr White's silent associate Mr Black reaches into a bag of holding and pulls out a sack.

Harshal: Naturally I won't insult our guests by checking the contents now. We're professionals, after all. If they stiffed us everybody will find out later anyway. More tea?
Mr White: Thankyou.
Gillert: Did you bring the pink biscuits?.... Ys hasn't been near these, has she?

The payment is fireproof cloth armour and an alchemical flamethrower.

Harshal: Combine that with that magical doorknocker we bought earlier and we can run the best arson scam in Magnimar.

 

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Our Heroes:

Amon-Ra: Archaeologist who found an artifact that is a conduit to an ancient god.

Diamondback: Exposure to a strange crystal gave her immense strength and durability.

Double-Time!: Given incredible running speed during a lab accident.

Faceless: FBI agent with the ability to assume the shape of any person he sees.

Ka-Pow!: 17 year old boxer and mechanic who's a bit more than human.

Professor Polar: Discoverer of "cold energy".

Shard: Exposed to the same crystal as Diamondback, but instead has the ability to grow and control similar crystals.

Tarraingteacht: Agent Carter's skills with Polaris's powers.

Zoltan the Magnificent: Stage magician who also knows real magic.

 

******

 

Diamondback [to Faceless] -- I just want to say that I am more comfortable with you lying than with you stripping corpses.

 

***

 

Shard -- I'm not going to make anything explode. . . again.

[not much later]

Shard -- If I keep the explosion well-contained, we should be fine.

 

***

 

Prof. Polar -- Shard's a good test animal; she regenerates.

 

******

 

Full session write-up here.

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Blue book, after the last adventure:

 

Ryu (modern ninja, cold blooded assassin): Well, we can't leave town just yet, I have to go kill all of them since she called me a Koga. Can't let that secret get out...

 

which inspired...

 

#justRyuthings

#NinjaDeepThoughts

#KogaDon'tExist

#KillEmAll

#Don'tReallyCare

#AlwaysBringaKnifetoaGunfight

#BombMakingBros

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So, my Shadowrun group now switched to Warhammer Fantasy 2nd Edition, a custom Adventure (or maybe a adapted Package) "Quest for the Southlands".

 

The story is that some Elf Prince wanted to make a expediton into the southern Southlands. The Pheonix king said "I disagree. But while I can not stop you personally, none of my Subjects can go with you".

 

So acordingly the Group starts in Marienburg and has a very heavy "maritime Theme", specifically recruited for that mission:

Prince Arathion, Highelf, NPC, Questgiver

Rolf Bloem, human Manaan Priest (Water, Weather, Seatravel)

Ilumaris, elven mage that learnt in Altdorf (thus technically not a subject of the Phoenix king)

Jotunn Eisenbart (Iron beard), Dwarf Marine Soldier. Also me

It is worth noting that aside from me and the GM, nobody has any real knowledge of the setting

 

Character creation:

You roll 2D10+ racial basis (20, with some 10 or 30) for each Atribute in sequence. You can use the average result (11) for one of them.

Jotunn (OOC): "I am seriously thinking about using the average for my Fellowship (Charisma)"

GM: "Then you would be the 3rd one doing that with Fellowship this evening".

Jotunn (OOC): "Okay, I think average Balistics Skill then."

 

We played the rules a bit looser. Like being able to freely pick our classes (rather then rolling 2 at Random):

GM: "You were a bit undecided, Wich career did you pick?"

Jotunn: "It was a tossup between Mercenary and Marine Solider. But I picked the Marine Soldier in the end."

GM: "What made the difference?"

Jotunn: "The Mercenary does not have the 'Drink Alcohol' skill and I just can not play a dwarf that can not hold his ale."

 

 

First on the Agenda is finding a suitable ship, because without a Elven Crew he can hardly use a Elven Ship. We do find one for cheap. needs some work, wich is good so because the group was not exactly liking the name:

Harbor Master: "The Sea Whore, typical van Zandt name"

Arathion: "The ship can stay, but not with that Name!"

Rolf (OOC): "As a Manaan Priest, I would say we rename it 'The Albatros' "

 

Rolf (OOC): "Let us see what Manaan Priests believe in *starts reading the list*:

Women aboard bring bad luck

Naked women aboard calms the sea, wich is why so many galleon figures are of naked women

A coin under the mast brigns good fortune

A cat aboard brings good luck

A cat aboard brings bad luck"

Ilumaris (OOC): "So basically we need Shroedingers Cat?"

 

We are tasked wick picking and statting out important NPC Characters. WH Fantasy uses "Careers" where you get all the skills and avancements. The pick a new Career (usually from the Career exits). These Characters can/need to have multiple careers:

"1 Sea Captain

1st Mate

A few more mates

Helmsman

Navigator

Doctor

Carpenter

Cook - wait, what was he in his previous career?"

 

Magic in Warhammer Fantasy is dangerous:

GM: "If all the dice show a 1, your spell automatically fails"

Illumaris: "I only roll 1D10".

GM: "You do get more later, but that is another downside"

Illumaris: "How so?"

GM: "If multiple dice show the same number, there is a seperate table to roll on and tht one is really ugly"

Jotunn: "Basically your chance to screw up drops from 10% to 1%. But you get a 10% chance to screw up in new and exciting ways!"

 

 

2nd session:
The GM was enthusiastic about showing off "how elves do magic". Basically they can see (and relatively freely manipulate) the winds of magic if there are any around. The request for a excursion a few hours outside of the City however is really puzzling. But he pays, so he is the boss. But we do take a coach.

We drive a few hours. At the first major crossroads we hold. He goes up a hill. Pulls out some weird sperical contraption. Does some adjustment. It starts glowing. He comes back down and we continue.

 

GM: The Coach Driver is confused.

Jotunn: "I shrug with the shoulder and tell him: Elves do elven things."

 

We repeat that that navigation step once more

 

And then a final time. In the middle of a market place. In a small village full of superstitious villagers.

The last part we have to walk on foot. We notice that the path is somewhat travelled and we find a rock. But not a normal Rock, but a "Waystone". A marker of the ancient ones, wich happens to be placed where two leylines cross. Accordingly the area is strong in magic. We start freeing it and notice that apparently the Villagers also use it as shrine to some local Manaan Martyr.

 

Apparently the Etheral Sight views the winds of magic as various colors

Ilumaris: "The Colors of Magic?"

So the two elves start talking about wich colors they see, why the two non-elves stand idly by.

 

GM: There is a lot of green. And a bit of blue. Next to no red, purple or black."

Jotunn: "We see a rock."

Rolf: "It is grey."

 

Finally the manage to "untangle" something in the winds, wich results in the small wellspring at the botom of the shrine/waystone to get a lot stronger.

Jotunn: "Ah, elves. Natures Sewage workers"

GM: "The Elves act as if they did not hear you"

Rolf: "And you really should not tell that to a Manaan priest".

 

Unfortunately our little excursion did not go Unnoticed. Villagers are a approaching. Wich Torches, Pitchforks, a Sigmar priest and words like "Magic at the shrine" and "burn the witches" on their lips. So now we have to talk down the people.

 

Ilumaris (OOC): "I do not understand. Is magic illegal or legal now?"

Jotunn (OOC): "Out here that is different form Lynchmob to Lynchmob."

The issues is it does have an effect -  a refresing to healing one. And it does not help the NPC keeps using the wrong words - the ones starting with "M" and ending on "agic" - in front a ptichfork and torch wielding mob.

Something "round but soft" is being thrown, but misses.

 

Finally we manage to talk them down. Apparently the idea of a shrine with a spring that has healing properties does appeal to them. And especially the attention (and money) from Pilgrimages it will bring them.

 

Ilumaris (OOC): "Say, what was it they had throw at us anyway? Rotten Fruit."

GM: "No, that looks more like sheep dung..."

Jotunn: "I told you. Only sewage workers had to deal with that much crap!"

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At the 91st approximately-monthly session (yes, the GM keeps track) of a D&D4E campaign, using the published canon cosmology, pantheon, etc.  The PCs in the previous session had wiped out  a major infestation of Vecna adherents, taking one prisoner whom they could and (in this session) did interrogate,  and discovered they had a couple of big underground chambers full of undead stacked like cordwood, preparing for a violent takeover of the town.  They also discovered the existence of another Vecna temple in town.

 

For collateral damage reasons, it wasn't practical to destroy the undead storage immediately, and it was decided to go get back-up from the local temples of Ioun and Bahamut (two PCs are clerics to those deities and contact had been already made).  The issue really was that those temples were small, with battle-capable staff numbering 12 and 8 respectively; there was some discussion about how to apportion these to keep the undead in their storage lockers, guard our prisoner, defend against the possibility of another knot of hostiles showing up while the PCs find and destroy the other Vecna temple; the totals weren't evenl divisible by the number of places to  be guarded, so there was a bit of a wrangle over that Jokes were made at the same time about the small size of the friendly temples, and the assertion was made that the Bahamut temple being, literally, in the 7-11 on the corner between the frozen foods and ... something else.

 

That triggered my memory from earlier in the day, reading old items in xkcd, spcifically this one, combining the arithmetical difficulties in apportioning guards, with the asserted location of the Bahamut temple in the 7-11, so I described the cartoon, resulting in general hilarity, but my brother (who was the player of the Bahamut cleric) then observed, "that makes perfect sense; Bahamut *is* the god of protection."

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Last night's D&D game, our party finds the cavern where a white dragon is hanging from the ceiling over his (frozen-in-ice) horde. 


Player 1:  Does the dragon see us?
DM:  Yes.  It's looking at you.

Player 2:  Should we roll initiative? 

DM:  Not yet.  It's waiting to see what you're going to do.

(long pause as nobody wants to set things in motion and get us all killed)

Player 2:  Okay, well, maybe I should walk into the room.  (bored tour guide voice)  And here, we have the dragon's chamber.  You'll note the horde - feel free to add to it as you go through.  Next on our tour is the southern tunnel...

Player 3:  And we're walking... we're walking...

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On 12/28/2017 at 10:10 AM, bigdamnhero said:

Last night's Historical/Fantasy Hero game. The Heroes are trying to find a way through a partially-collapsed building. So they turn to the Priest, whose VPP is primarily modeled after recorded Biblical miracles:

 

Alchemist: "Wasn't there anyone in the Bible who walked through walls or moved a bunch of rocks or anything?"

Priest: "Well, I can think of one example. But it'd take three days and we'd have to die first."

Alchemist: "...OK, but aside from That Guy...?"

Hmmm forgot about Paul praying and at midnight an earthquake shook open the jailhouse.

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6 hours ago, BoloOfEarth said:

Last night's D&D game, our party finds the cavern where a white dragon is hanging from the ceiling over his (frozen-in-ice) horde. 


Player 1:  Does the dragon see us?
DM:  Yes.  It's looking at you.

Player 2:  Should we roll initiative? 

DM:  Not yet.  It's waiting to see what you're going to do.

(long pause as nobody wants to set things in motion and get us all killed)

Player 2:  Okay, well, maybe I should walk into the room.  (bored tour guide voice)  And here, we have the dragon's chamber.  You'll note the horde - feel free to add to it as you go through.  Next on our tour is the southern tunnel...

Player 3:  And we're walking... we're walking...

"And we're walking... we're walking... "         a quote from a Dexter's Laboratory episode?

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Usually I use a quote from a hero but in this case, it's from a supervillainess, La Pulga.  She's trying to taunt a hero shrinker and starts yelling at him:

 

"You're weak. Weak like white bread. Like white bread that's been dunked in water."

 

(All players) Ewww....

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On ‎1‎/‎29‎/‎2018 at 7:05 PM, Steve said:

The PCs in my modified Champions Universe game have gone to visit Babylon.

 

After meeting their first Conurbite (the magical pretty people who live in Babylon), and I complete my description of her, I get back "It's Barbie Borg!"

 

I am now stuck thinking of Conurbites as Ken and Barbie versions of Star Trek's Borg, which is probably not too far off from how they appear from their description in Mystic World.

 

Babylon did allow me to entertain myself a bit when they bought a stripped-down copy (no weapons) of the Millenium Falcon from a Ferengi. They're now trying to figure out how to get it back to Earth.

 

"I am Barbie of Borg. You will be accessorized AND assimilated. It'll be fun!"

 

Lucius Alexander

 

I am Palindromedary of Borg. You will be assimilated coming and going.

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