archer Posted August 21, 2021 Report Share Posted August 21, 2021 Sometimes less is more. For example: "My wife works at one of the top companies in the world." vs "My wife works at one of the topless companies in the world." Logan D. Hurricanes 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted August 21, 2021 Report Share Posted August 21, 2021 Thank you for keeping the rest of us abreast of your wife's work situation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
archer Posted August 22, 2021 Report Share Posted August 22, 2021 21 hours ago, Pariah said: Thank you for keeping the rest of us abreast of your wife's work situation. If this story showed up on your feed, would you be breastfeeding? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ockham's Spoon Posted August 26, 2021 Report Share Posted August 26, 2021 My girlfriend was on a rant about how she thought I was cheating on her, and it made me think just how much she sounded like my wife. Logan D. Hurricanes 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ockham's Spoon Posted August 26, 2021 Report Share Posted August 26, 2021 My wife and I were chatting over dinner, and she told me that she had found out that if you kill somebody in international waters on an unregistered boat and then dump the body overboard, they can't trace it back to any single legal system so you can't be charged for murder. Then she looked at me cheerfully and asked "So what did you do today?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BoloOfEarth Posted August 27, 2021 Report Share Posted August 27, 2021 12 hours ago, Ockham's Spoon said: My wife and I were chatting over dinner, and she told me that she had found out that if you kill somebody in international waters on an unregistered boat and then dump the body overboard, they can't trace it back to any single legal system so you can't be charged for murder. Then she looked at me cheerfully and asked "So what did you do today?" I hope you replied: "I just went for a little... boat ride. By the way, how's your mom?" (smile back cheerfully) Amorkca 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
archer Posted August 27, 2021 Report Share Posted August 27, 2021 Two detectives, surrounded by officers, look down the gully onto the bizarre murder scene. One turns to the other and hesitatingly asks, "Is, is that a clown?" The other detective continues to jot notes down on his pad and says, "No, that's a mime." The first detective sighs, shakes his head, and says, "A mime is a terrible thing to waste." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
archer Posted August 27, 2021 Report Share Posted August 27, 2021 Two detectives are standing next to a witness who's closely scrutinizing a lineup of clowns. Short clowns, tall clowns, sad clowns, happy clowns, and clowns with big floppy shoes. One of the detectives says, "It's okay, take your time. Just tell us what kind of bozo would kill a mime." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
archer Posted August 27, 2021 Report Share Posted August 27, 2021 Two detectives are standing in the park, none to close to the corpse of a dead mime. Holding his nose, one detective asks an officer why this particular mime smells so bad. The officer gestures to a nearby office tower, "Sniper scope. The shot must have been three hundred yards." Confused, the detective says, "But sniper bullets don't cause bodies to stink!" "Well, it wasn't the sniper bullet itself. It's that the mime put on such a convincing death scene that bystanders just applauded the performance then went on about their business." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
archer Posted August 27, 2021 Report Share Posted August 27, 2021 Every year, hundreds of children are shipped off to mime school... never to be heard from again. Christougher 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
archer Posted August 27, 2021 Report Share Posted August 27, 2021 Why aren’t there many famous female mime artists? The glass ceiling. mattingly 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
archer Posted August 27, 2021 Report Share Posted August 27, 2021 First they came for the mimes... And oh hell yeah I said something. I didn't want them to think I was a mime. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted August 27, 2021 Report Share Posted August 27, 2021 Is it okay to shoot a mime if you use a silencer? (Asking for a friend.) Christougher 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christougher Posted August 28, 2021 Report Share Posted August 28, 2021 3 hours ago, Pariah said: Is it okay to shoot a mime if you use a silencer? (Asking for a friend.) Yes, it is a requirement. Five shot burst or full clip is shooter's choice. Chris. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted August 28, 2021 Report Share Posted August 28, 2021 4 hours ago, Pariah said: Is it okay to shoot a mime if you use a silencer? (Asking for a friend.) This friend says no. Use poison, silent but deadly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
death tribble Posted August 28, 2021 Report Share Posted August 28, 2021 None of this will work. Mimes don't trust people at all. Don't believe me ? Well did not Elvis himself sing of Suspicious Mimes...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted August 28, 2021 Report Share Posted August 28, 2021 Q: How does the Man on the Moon get his hair cut? A: Eclipse it. mattingly and wcw43921 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted August 28, 2021 Report Share Posted August 28, 2021 Heard a chemistry joke today. No reaction. tkdguy 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted August 29, 2021 Report Share Posted August 29, 2021 That's because all the good chemistry jokes argon. tkdguy 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted August 29, 2021 Report Share Posted August 29, 2021 It's been nearly 35 years. Bon Jovi should be almost all the way there by now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted August 29, 2021 Report Share Posted August 29, 2021 Well, that would depend on a few things.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted August 29, 2021 Report Share Posted August 29, 2021 You know why I like jokes about anti-vaxxers? They never get old! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted August 29, 2021 Report Share Posted August 29, 2021 If I had a quarter for every math test I failed, I'd have $8.43. Logan D. Hurricanes 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted August 30, 2021 Report Share Posted August 30, 2021 Why do melons have big fancy weddings? Because they can't elope. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted August 30, 2021 Report Share Posted August 30, 2021 Where do melons send their kids for the summer? John Cougar's Melon Camp. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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