SSgt Baloo Posted December 7, 2010 Report Share Posted December 7, 2010 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Me explaining to someone why there would be a delay before I could take them somewhere to pick up their check: "Give me a minute, will ya? I just woke up and my brain doesn't show up for work all at once. Just a few braincells drag in at a time, going 'Wow. What a night!'" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted December 7, 2010 Report Share Posted December 7, 2010 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Student: When the Earth gets too overpopulated, people will live on Mars. Me: Isn't it easier and cheaper just to eat the poor instead? Student: What?! I love messing with my students' heads. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drhoz Posted December 8, 2010 Report Share Posted December 8, 2010 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Student: When the Earth gets too overpopulated, people will live on Mars. Me: Isn't it easier and cheaper just to eat the poor instead? Student: What?! He had some problem with your modest proposal? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IndianaJoe3 Posted December 8, 2010 Report Share Posted December 8, 2010 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. My wife has just watched the YouTube clip of the duel on the Cliffs of Insanity with lightsabers, and is looking over the related clips. Her: Oh, they've got one of the scene in _Raiders_. Me: Indy shoots first. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted December 9, 2010 Report Share Posted December 9, 2010 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. He had some problem with your modest proposal? I must admit it's socially tricky. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted December 9, 2010 Report Share Posted December 9, 2010 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Coworker (grading papers): Comedy of errors... Me: You just described my life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted December 9, 2010 Report Share Posted December 9, 2010 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Upon meeting some of my wife's family's friends at dinner the other night: Them: "So if our kids have chemistry problems, I should just send them to you?" Me: "If your kids have chemistry problems, it's likely because of me." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teh bunneh Posted December 16, 2010 Report Share Posted December 16, 2010 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Co-worker 1: (Reading his email) Oh no! According to my spam folder, today is your last chance EVER to get a personalized I-pad. Co-worker 2: I think I'm just going to go on Craig's List and get an I-pad and a dremmel, and personalize it myself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted December 25, 2010 Report Share Posted December 25, 2010 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. I called my brother today to ask him about a gift for our mutual nieces. He called me back an hour or so later. Bro: So, what are you doing? Me: It's the day before Christmas. What do you think I'm doing? Bro: Shopping? Me: You got it. Bro: You are your father's son. Me: So bloody predictable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Folded Posted December 26, 2010 Report Share Posted December 26, 2010 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. At dinner a few days ago, I was explaining that the origin of the graham cracker was an attempt to create a food that reduced feelings of lust in people. Brother-in-law: Maybe if it was a Billy Graham cracker... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Man Posted December 27, 2010 Report Share Posted December 27, 2010 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. "Ow! Why are you hitting me?!" "Because I love you." "What? You're two years old, you're too young to be practicing your relationship skills." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted December 31, 2010 Report Share Posted December 31, 2010 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. "Antonyms are historical." "How so?" "Haven't you heard of Antonym and Cleopatra?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teh bunneh Posted January 1, 2011 Report Share Posted January 1, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Me: There are two facts here in evidence. One: Nobody likes to be told not to do something that looks fun, and Two: Sticking your finger into an electrical socket does undeniably look fun. However, dear child, despite the inarguable facts that stand before me, there is yet one more truth here which you have not considered. And that is, your Uncle Bill ain't about to let you do that, no matter the legion of facts that stand arrayed, like so many soldiers ready for battle, before me. So let's go find something else to do which, while it may not be nearly as fun, will almost certainly be less fatal. Tessa (who just turned 1 a couple weeks ago): Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
L. Marcus Posted January 1, 2011 Report Share Posted January 1, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. ... Reeealy? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted January 1, 2011 Report Share Posted January 1, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Sister: I made some brownies. Me: Filled with cheese and wrapped in bacon? Sister: That's disgusting! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xavier Onassiss Posted January 9, 2011 Report Share Posted January 9, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Watching the Chiefs-Ravens game earlier today: Me: "I used to live KC, and I then I lived in Baltimore -- who do I root for here?" Dad: "The Bears." Oh, of course, silly me.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucius Posted January 10, 2011 Author Report Share Posted January 10, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. What can you say of a man who not only optimistically speaks of getting back on his feet, but demonstrably does so....despite having no feet? Lucius Alexander The palindromedary credits him with a heroic feat, if not heroic feet Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teh bunneh Posted January 10, 2011 Report Share Posted January 10, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Her: You're like a 14-year-old Japanese schoolgirl. Me: What? Explain. Her: You like Hello Kitty. You like My Little Pony. And you like porn. And tentacles. Me: So that makes me a 16-year-old Japanese schoolgirl? Her: No, it makes you a 14-year-old Japanese schoolgirl. Me: Why 14? Her: Because it's creepier that way. Yeah, that's going down in the Top Ten Weirdest Conversations I've Ever Had list. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enforcer84 Posted January 10, 2011 Report Share Posted January 10, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Her: You're like a 14-year-old Japanese schoolgirl. Me: What? Explain. Her: You like Hello Kitty. You like My Little Pony. And you like porn. And tentacles. Me: So that makes me a 16-year-old Japanese schoolgirl? Her: No, it makes you a 14-year-old Japanese schoolgirl. Me: Why 14? Her: Because it's creepier that way. Yeah, that's going down in the Top Ten Weirdest Conversations I've Ever Had list. Clearly she doesn't know the Japanese. If you were a 14 year old Japanese school-girl you'd like Yaoi. And I don't think you do. (by the way, I clearly don't know them either...I'm trying to be funny) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teh bunneh Posted January 10, 2011 Report Share Posted January 10, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Clearly she doesn't know the Japanese. If you were a 14 year old Japanese school-girl you'd like Yaoi. And I don't think you do. True enough. The analogy isn't perfect, 'cause I'm definitely not into Yaoi. But I do look pretty hawt in a sailor suit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enforcer84 Posted January 10, 2011 Report Share Posted January 10, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. True enough. The analogy isn't perfect, 'cause I'm definitely not into Yaoi. But I do look pretty hawt in a sailor suit. Don't I know it! He: "Why can't we be together? Don't you like me?" She: "It's not me, it's yaoi." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted January 11, 2011 Report Share Posted January 11, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Student (an avid Justin Beiber fan): My sister said Judgement Day is coming in May. Me: If that happens, at least you'll be able to hang out with Justin Beiber all you like afterwards. Student: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Celt Posted January 14, 2011 Report Share Posted January 14, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. During last week's Seattle-New Orleans game- Me: "Who are we rooting for?" (looking to see which loss would be advantageous to the Jets) Housemate: "New Orleans, they're the underdogs." Me: "On what planet are the defending Superbowl champions the underdogs?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
L. Marcus Posted January 14, 2011 Report Share Posted January 14, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. On the planet Only The Last Season Counts. ^^ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shadow Hawk Posted January 15, 2011 Report Share Posted January 15, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. "If you don't like the service I provide, you are welcome to take your business to a different Classified Material Storeroom." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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