Narf the Mouse Posted May 19, 2011 Report Share Posted May 19, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Fun is important. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
L. Marcus Posted May 19, 2011 Report Share Posted May 19, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. "I'm starting my midlife crisis early. I like to anticipate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shadow Hawk Posted May 19, 2011 Report Share Posted May 19, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Me: "Telephone call for Sarah*. It's a boy." Wife: "As soon as she gets off the phone, call Bill, Brian and Hank, and tell them to break out the sharp objects." Sarah: "MOM! DAD!" Me: "I'll just text them, it's faster and I won't have to wait for the phone." Sarah (to boy on phone): "Dad's calling his friends with the swords. You better run before he finds out your name." (All names have been changed. 'Sarah' is my younger daughter, and now 17. Bill, Brian and Hank are Navy buddies. Hank collects weapons.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teh bunneh Posted May 19, 2011 Report Share Posted May 19, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Coder: When we move to our new office, I hope they put our desks next to each other. I'm tired of walking all the way over here when I have a question. Me: What are you talking about? Walking over here is the only exercise you get! Coder: I know, and it's more than I need. Don't they know I'm a computer programmer? It's bad enough they've got me next to a window where I can see the sun! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Celt Posted May 20, 2011 Report Share Posted May 20, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Description of the current Rapture-mania- "I feel like somebody who had the option to playtest a MMORPG, and opted out. and now this whole world of people are freaking out that the server is going down and I'm considering whether or not gelato is an acceptable substitute for lunch." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucius Posted May 21, 2011 Author Report Share Posted May 21, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. I was going to ask how you could possibly be injured by friendly fire while serving on a firing squad.... Then I remembered some of my own experiences in the military. Lucius Alexander The palindromedary suggests calling the friendly fire department Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted May 22, 2011 Report Share Posted May 22, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Firendly fire isn't friendly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted May 22, 2011 Report Share Posted May 22, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. "Flasks are like quarterbacks, beakers are like offensive linemen. The first two have a neck, the last two don't." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted May 22, 2011 Report Share Posted May 22, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. I'm having dinner with my mom, and I raise my wineglass. Me: To the end of the world! Mom: Live long and prosper. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted May 24, 2011 Report Share Posted May 24, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. I couldn't help making one last crack about that whole "Judgement Day" fiasco. "Hey, wasn't it supposed to be Judgement Day over the weekend?" "Yes, but it ended up with a hung jury." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xavier Onassiss Posted May 25, 2011 Report Share Posted May 25, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. I may have posted this already -- it happened a while back. Me: "I gotta go back to the store... I forgot to buy deodorant and I'm almost out." Ex-girlfriend: "I'll alert the media." Me: "If I run out of deodorant, you won't have to." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted May 25, 2011 Report Share Posted May 25, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. I may have posted this already -- it happened a while back. Me: "I gotta go back to the store... I forgot to buy deodorant and I'm almost out." Ex-girlfriend: "I'll alert the media." Me: "If I run out of deodorant, you won't have to." Heh. You just reminded me of a scene from the GI Joe cartoon (I know this is the wrong thread for it, but indulge me on this one): Mainframe: Remind me to talk to you about your deodorant. Beachhead: I don't know what you mean. I don't use deodorant. Mainframe: That's what I wanted to talk to you about. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SSgt Baloo Posted May 25, 2011 Report Share Posted May 25, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. In an on-line discussion about a $2,000 bottle of congac on display in an otherwise low-end liquor store: Them: "At some point, it becomes about status rather than taste. Same goes for any luxury consumable." Me: "Occam is calling. He wants his razor back." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucius Posted May 25, 2011 Author Report Share Posted May 25, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. "Occam is calling. He wants his razor back." So if Occam is calling for his razorback, that would be an example of hog calling. Lucius Alexander Calling for the palindromedaries Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teh bunneh Posted May 25, 2011 Report Share Posted May 25, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Co-worker: I'm planning on taking the kids to the movies this weekend. Me: What are you going to see? Co-worker: Not sure. My kids'll be happy as long as there's lots of noise and people falling down. Me: ...And that's just the folks in the theatre! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted May 29, 2011 Report Share Posted May 29, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Me: Have fun in Argentina. And don't cry for me. Student: I'll try not to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BoloOfEarth Posted May 29, 2011 Report Share Posted May 29, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. My youngest daughter is in driver's ed and recently got her permit to drive with us in the car. Her: Can I drive to church? Me: Well, it would certainly get the praying started early... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drhoz Posted May 31, 2011 Report Share Posted May 31, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Purrdence is recording song vocals, and some of them are proving quite trying Her : If I ever meet Cole Porter - cold, grey zombie Cole Porter - he's going to get such a slap. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SSgt Baloo Posted May 31, 2011 Report Share Posted May 31, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Feeble attempt at humor: Sign on pharmacy: "High School students are required to have two shots." Me: "Aren't they a bit young to be drinking?" Mom was reminiscing about her childhood: "Daddy was bringing the mule in from plowing. My brother Loy was running after him shouting 'Daddy I wanna ride Old Blue! Possum! Possum! Possum!'" "I reminded him of that a few months ago and he explained 'I was cussin' '. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucius Posted May 31, 2011 Author Report Share Posted May 31, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. "Workers of the world, despair. The Class Struggle is over -- and you lost!" Michael Hopcroft Lucius Alexander Quote of the Weak from a palindromedary Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SSgt Baloo Posted May 31, 2011 Report Share Posted May 31, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. "Overheard" at another forum: "We use web handles for pretty much the same reason superheroes do. To protect our loved ones from HYDRA, and to avoid taking responsibility for vast property damage." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Man Posted June 6, 2011 Report Share Posted June 6, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. "...so traffic was really bad coming back from the airport." "Daddy? Did you fly in an airplane when you were at the airport?" "What? No, I was just visiting people by the airport, I didn't actually go to the airport." "Did you fly in... a helicopter?" "No." "Did you fly in... a space shuttle?" "What?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Celt Posted June 6, 2011 Report Share Posted June 6, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. "...so traffic was really bad coming back from the airport." "Daddy? Did you fly in an airplane when you were at the airport?" "What? No, I was just visiting people by the airport, I didn't actually go to the airport." "Did you fly in... a helicopter?" "No." "Did you fly in... a space shuttle?" "What?" Why can't you be cool like the other dads!?! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drhoz Posted June 6, 2011 Report Share Posted June 6, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. My brother ( McGinty/Guildenstern on the Gaming Quotes thread ) has a two-year-old daughter. Cut off in traffic, a frequent occurrence Daughter : For ****'s sake Wife : *gives my brother The Look Of Doom* He : uh-oh.... DUCKS MAKE eggs... Daughter : No Daddy, it's 'For ****'s sake.' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BoloOfEarth Posted June 6, 2011 Report Share Posted June 6, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Yep, been there, done that. My eldest was about 2-3 years old when my wife informed me that our darling, cute little girl told her day care provider to "shut the f*** up." Of course, we were apalled, and I secretly blamed the day care provider's young son, who was a bit of a hellion, for likely teaching her that word. A few days later, I was at home and our dog, who was vastly overprotective, was going frantic and barking uncontrollably because somebody dared to walk past our house. After calling the dog's name (Downie) a time or two to try and get her to stop barking, I finally got frustrated and said, "DOWNIE! SHUT THE FU... ooooooh, crud." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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