Jump to content
Asperion

But I did not swear!

Recommended Posts

   I’ve always been fond of “Mother Pus Bucket!!!”  I was once on the sales floor and managed to drop my end of a large office desk we were moving onto my foot.  I yelled that out LOUD and a few minutes later (the exact amount of time it took my boss to get from the far side of the store to where we were.)

  My very reasonable boss said  “I know it hurt but don’t swear on the floor.”  I told him what I said and that none of those words were swears.  I could see the wheels turn as he tried to remember exactly what he heard.  He nodded his head and said  “Your right.” and walked away.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
12 hours ago, Deglar said:

Sometimes I will inform the illegitimate rodents in my path that I would prefer them to consume excrement and expire.  This is when I forget to eschew obfuscation.

As a Bastard myself, I could feel slightly offended. But then I am a legitimized Bastard. So there is that :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 3/20/2019 at 12:24 PM, Pariah said:

My wife's family are fond of "Son of a motherless goat!" from The Three Amigos.

Same here! It's got that sort of "blasphemy-adjacent" quality that makes it satisfying.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My sister told me that, when she was a teenager, she backed a car out of our garage without noticing that another car was parked right behind her.  (And how the feldercarb could she not notice that when she opened the garage door, especially since that was in the days before automatic garage door openers?)

 

Anyway, when she smashed into the other car, my dad came out of the house and shouted, "CHEESE AND CRACKERS!!!"  I always found that an amusing way of "swearing".

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I’m fond of using the word “fantastic” at work, which has the advantage of being totally unclear as to whether I’m using it sarcastically or not. 

 

Another phrase I use is “Christ on a stick”, though I’m not sure it isn’t just as offensive as normal profanity. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 3/22/2019 at 4:11 PM, Old Man said:

I’m fond of using the word “fantastic” at work, which has the advantage of being totally unclear as to whether I’m using it sarcastically or not. 

 

I do this as well. My students seem to be be quicker on the uptake than your co-workers.

 

Which is sad, really.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

For me, Frack, Feldercarb, [expletive deleted] in writing, and Hurm.

 

My wife will sometimes say "Dear Lord of the Rings"  (which I think is from someone on Project Runway)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

During my years of retail, "Sir" or "Madam" were occasional curse words (a lot of it is in the tone of delivery).

 

I've always been partial to Mr Tulip's "--ing", but it's so hard to pronounce properly with an American accent.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
4 hours ago, Pariah said:

 

I do this as well. My students seem to be be quicker on the uptake than your co-workers.

 

Which is sad, really.

 

No, I'd prefer it if your students were sharper than my coworkers.  One, because it gives a very slight ray of hope for the future, and two, because my coworkers are flippin' stupid.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 3/22/2019 at 6:11 PM, Old Man said:

I’m fond of using the word “fantastic” at work, which has the advantage of being totally unclear as to whether I’m using it sarcastically or not.

 

8 hours ago, Pariah said:

I do this as well. My students seem to be be quicker on the uptake than your co-workers.

 

Which is sad, really.

 

3 hours ago, Old Man said:

No, I'd prefer it if your students were sharper than my coworkers.  One, because it gives a very slight ray of hope for the future, and two, because my coworkers are flippin' stupid.

 

Shouldn't that be "... my coworkers are fantastically stupid"?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

×
×
  • Create New...