Remjin Posted March 2, 2007 Report Share Posted March 2, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Player: How much damage was that? GM: 8d6 killing. Player: Holy crap! I thought you said that could take down a bridge or something! GM: It can. How much did you take? Player: 1 body, 24 stun. GM: @#$%!!!! Player: Well, I'm Con stunned... ***************************** Father Martin: What does this huge snake skin have to do with anything? Torch Song: Nothing that we can figure. Father Martin: So why are we here? I'm not buying this for $5,000 for no reason. Torch Song: No idea. Ghost Eagle: Ummm.. (to old lady) how much for this by itself? Old Lady: $5,000 Ghost Eagle: Sold. Father Martin & Torch Song (looking at Ghost Eagle): ????? Ghost Eagle: What? I could make some nice boots with this. ****************************** Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve Posted March 2, 2007 Report Share Posted March 2, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Me: At least he wasn't promoted to Private. From my short-lived Alien Wars campaign: GM (Me): "You're sending Private Jones ahead of you into the Xenovore's bunker?" Player One: "That's right. I'm a Lieutenant, and I know what I'm doing." Player Two: "A wise general once said that you should always protect your privates." Player One: "...." Also, in a DnD game, the same GM describe a Drow lair as being lit by Braziers, which he pronounced Brah-Zeers. Heckling again ensued. Me: *sigh* those crazy frat Drows. Player One: "Hey, what are we fighting again?" GM (Me): "Asian goblins." Shows picture with "Bakemono" written at bottom. Later on, more are encountered by group. Player One: "Hey, it's more of these baked mono guys!" GM (Me): "Baked monos?" Player Two: "...." Player Three: "Are you sure they aren't half-baked?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted March 3, 2007 Report Share Posted March 3, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Deadboy, the Goth super hero (of "Status: Rock God" fame), was the only member of the team at the New Champions base when two heroes from out of town arrived to recruit heroes to help fight off a demonic invasion. On being awakened at 6:00 in the evening, he greets the two heroes at the door with, "Why'd you have to come so early? The sun's not even down yet." Then, after calling everyone else on the team, he tells the two visitors, "Hang on, I've got to call my parole officer." [The out-of-towners exchange nervous looks.] "Hello, Steve? Yeah, there's some sort of invasion or something on an island off the coast. Is it okay for me to go, or will I get in trouble?" [silence as 'Steve' replies, more nervous looks.] "All right. If I don't come back, it's probably because I'm in the belly of a demon, so have a nice life." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Choldath Posted March 3, 2007 Report Share Posted March 3, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... In a Turakian Age game: PC1: "I'm lookinging for some adventurers to help me with a mission." PC2: "Well, does it pay well? Our last leader lead us on some 'unlucrative' missions." PC1: "So, what happened to your leader?" PC2: "We left him," while pulling glass to mouth and under breath, "with a VERY significant bar tab." PC1: "You probably shouldn't mention that when looking for new imployment." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pinecone Posted March 3, 2007 Report Share Posted March 3, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... What? No flight arrow?... Sorry I forgot to quote...this is for the Archer that can't fly story... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OzMike Posted March 4, 2007 Report Share Posted March 4, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Tonight's Game: The hero group has a mystical artifact that they are trying to keep away from the baddies. It's decided the teleporting brick (Avalanche) should keep it in his possession, and the NPC team gadgeteer (Dr Brass) is asked to make a helmet that can stop Avalanche from being mind controlled. Piston Joe's Player (OOC... at least I hope it was OOC): Yeah, we need to give Avalanche a purple helmet. Us: WHAT??? PJP: A purple helmet. *Players fall about laughing and double entendres abound* Note: Purple Helmet is a colloquial term for phallus. Edit: The player was referring to Magneto's anti-Professor X helmet which was meant to block mental powers. However, it took him about 5 minutes to explain this to us and about another 5 minutes to understand why we thought "purple helmet" was so hilarious as he didn't see the phallic connection. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susano Posted March 4, 2007 Report Share Posted March 4, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... 5th Session of Vendetta Rhapsody The heroes have to deal with a being known as "Deliquesser", which means "to become liquid" (taken from "deliquesce". Anyway, we eventually discover there are three of them and spent much of the session doing battle with them.... Ross: "Technicality holds up one finger with slime stretching from it to the floor." Mike (OOC): "Looks like some sort of excretion." Half The Room (OOC): "Yeah, but excreted from what?" The team's "base" is in an abandoned brewery. It contains, among other things, a "beeramid" and has been called "The Beer Cave" and "The Beer Garden." GM: "Does anyone here have tracking?" Mike: "Koyotie doesn't, but she's going to fake it." Koyotie gets hit despite her 13 DCV. Mike responds: "One of these days, Koyotie needs to fight someone who can't hit her back." GM: "This guy's like a pack of radioactive gummy worms." Contained: "I'm a physicist, not a doctor!" Nestor (OOC): "He landed on something pointy." Mike (OOC): "His head?" Ross: "We're fighting the Herculoids!" Ross (on fighting three Deliquessers covered in slime and the associated SFX of their attacks): "This combat has 'adult movie' written all over it." Mike: "He's still Desolid, eh? Fume and delay." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
input.jack Posted March 5, 2007 Report Share Posted March 5, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... The following are compiled from several encounters ----------------- GM describing an attractive girl: She was obviously chosen for her...."superior genetic qualities".... Guardian Alpha (OOC): Her boobies? GM: Well........................yes. ------------- Gravitar: I feel sorry for you. The "Tool of the Establishment". Guardian Alpha: YOURE the biggest TOOL here. *Slam!* IM not the RACIST in the room! ------------- Troubleshooter misfires a crucial shot. Troubleshooter: *hand-pulling the dud round* Gotta save this round....to turn it into a SUPPOSITORY for a certain custom munitions dealer.... -------------- Moblie Suit E.X. Pilot: The Sailor Gem-Stars just stopped a massive crime wave in Tokyo involving putting mind-control chips into unsuspecting peoples' sneakers. Guardian Alpha: You mean that someone was controlling their "Soles"? Troubleshooter: *Bounces a Coke can off GA's head* ---------------- Guardian Alpha (OOC): I go out into the school courtyard. Im totally prepared for some 11-year old wisenheimer to kick me in the 'nads to "prove" Im not really Guardian Alpha. Troubleshooter (OOC): Yeah, and if the kid drops GA, ALL our plans change! ---------------- GM: All the clues point to them heading for one location.... Troubleshooter (OOC): Okay, we all head for the Battlemat! ------------------ Monarch *gets slammed in the family jewels by a Zombie Viking as Troubleshooter hustles some co-eds to safety* Troubleshooter: Are you ladies all right? Co-eds: We're all right Monarch *simultaneously* [falsetto] Im fine... [/falsetto] ------------------- Giant 25 foot tall Zombie Viking *looms over Troubleshooter, eclipsing him in shadow* Monarch: TS, I sense that youre in imminent danger.... -------------------- Two Vanir Gods *arrive on scene* Troubleshooter: Sorry, fellas. Im a lapsed Christian. I just dont BELIEVE in you! ------------------ Baba Yaga *casts a spell causing Guardian Alpha to feel overwhelming despair and futility*: Feel the weight of the suffering of the entire WORLD on your shoulders! Guardian Alpha *struggles to his feet and throws off the effect through force of will*: IM USED TO IT! ------------------- Troubleshooter: Thats a pretty obscure word, Monarch. Where were you when i was flunking 6th Grade English? Monarch: Probably teaching it. Troubleshooter: .....You used to be a girl!?! And...and HOT! Monarch *drops the mental link to Troubleshooter* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BoloOfEarth Posted March 6, 2007 Report Share Posted March 6, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... During last night's D&D game: Aren (male fighter): Ryan and I link arms and go through the wall together. Y'llek: What is this, Brokeback Dungeon?! After our rogue misses a mud golem repeatedly with her sword: GM (imitates her waving her sword around) What are you doing, leading a band? Y'llek (male ranger) and Devlyn (female rogue) fall through a trap door and are trapped in a solid stone shaft with no apparent means of escape. Several attempts to get out failed, and our heroes are resigned to waiting for their teammates to rescue them. Y'llek: You know (drapes arm over Devlyn's shoulders), it seems the only thing left to try is wild, torrid... Devlyn: (pointing her dagger at Y'llek's side) go on... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghost-angel Posted March 6, 2007 Report Share Posted March 6, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Baba Yaga *casts a spell causing Guardian Alpha to feel overwhelming despair and futility*: Feel the weight of the suffering of the entire WORLD on your shoulders! Guardian Alpha *struggles to his feet and throws off the effect through force of will*: IM USED TO IT! He got extra experience points for being a Hero correct? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mister E Posted March 6, 2007 Report Share Posted March 6, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Baba Yaga *casts a spell causing Guardian Alpha to feel overwhelming despair and futility*: Feel the weight of the suffering of the entire WORLD on your shoulders! Guardian Alpha *struggles to his feet and throws off the effect through force of will*: IM USED TO IT! Yes. This is quite good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
input.jack Posted March 6, 2007 Report Share Posted March 6, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Thanks, Ghost-Angel and Mister E. Guardian Alpha has been a total blast to play, and I -am- proud of that line. It seemed to come more from him than from me, if you now what I mean. Sometimes characters take themselves to new, and neat, places Here's a drawing I did of GA. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drhoz Posted March 6, 2007 Report Share Posted March 6, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Vitus is currently enjoying some 'quality time' with his concubine 3, for the first time in ages. First they're interupted by the Spectre, who wants to show off the latest magazine coverage of the group. Vitus is unimpressed. Seethingly so. this is promptly followed by more coitus interruptus when Void teleports in with an urgent message. Vitus's response "WHAT????!! The coathanger is on the door!!!" which is when Firewing burns his way in thru the wall. Vitus is now apoplectic. "What is WRONG with you people????" At least Firewing had the decency to apologise and back out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tim Posted March 6, 2007 Report Share Posted March 6, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Here's a drawing I did of GA. Ohhhh, Considder that pic stolen.... errrr... borrowed Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kirby Posted March 6, 2007 Report Share Posted March 6, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Vitus is now apoplectic. Hey, new word! Repped. As relating to the scenario, I've had one of those where either my PC was trying to get rest or have quiet time with someone else and the other players thought it would be funny to keep interrupting. Nothing quite as carnal as the described scene, but annoying to me nonetheless. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AliceTheOwl Posted March 6, 2007 Report Share Posted March 6, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Fantasy Hero, world of my own making, blah blah . . . Onto the quotes! Father Danaecus: "Lina, you need to keep having lots of sex." Lina (looking around, indicating her husband is nowhere to be found): "Well, I can't have sex right here!" -------------------------------------------- Later, Lina has been summoned by her husband, just in time to avoid going to a place they've been warned is corrupt and evil. She's saying goodbye to Father Danaecus. He says, "Ah. You're pregnant. I understand." As Lina sputters and tries to find the words to contradict him, he adds, "I do hope it's not the bard's." ---------------------- Danaecus to Rastal: "Did Lina says goodbye to you before she left?" Rastal: "She left?" -------------------------- The party stops in a bardic city, and are drinking at a bar on what I jokingly call "Open Mic Night." The players joke about having Rastal take the floor for a poetry recital. The player laughs and says, "If Rastal went up there, he'd be like, 'There once was a man from Nantucket . . .'" ----------------------------------------------------- Danaecus, drily: "Apparently you can beat the crap out of anybody in this town." Rastal: "Sounds like my kinda town!" ------------------------------------------------ Rastal: "Because demons are coming to take over the world, and I'm going to slay them." --------------------------------------------------------------------- Flora: "You spend a year with the Fae, and ask me that question again." Rastal: "No thanks. I like my sanity." ----------------------------------------- Said several times during the game by Flora: "There's a demon in my Fae village. His name is George." ---------------------------------- Flora: "What were you guys thinking?" Rastal: "I usually don't think, just act." --------------------------------------- After Flora's player describes her character's appearance, Father Danaecus' player remarks, OOC, "She's a psychedelic emo?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kirby Posted March 6, 2007 Report Share Posted March 6, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Father Danaecus: "Lina' date=' you need to keep having lots of sex."[/quote']Heh, I played a fertility priest in a 2E D&D game once and two of the other players (one male, one female) happened to be playing halflings. I tried to encourage their mating once, but the DM made up a stupid "halfing 100 year dating courtship ritual" because he didn't want me to influence them. Oddly enough he encouraged the same two players to have PC dates in a Golden Age game and their characters ended up getting married. The female player was the DM's/GM's real life wife. :shrug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AliceTheOwl Posted March 6, 2007 Report Share Posted March 6, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Well, basically, Danaecus had been contacted by the Creator in a dream, who told him he could do nothing about how their story ended up. But, the Creator warned him, if they didn't make the story titillating enough, then the guy writing the story down would invent things, and the party members would find themselves spicing up the story whether they liked it or not. And so when he woke up and told the party about the dream, Daneacus made sure to mention something. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kirby Posted March 6, 2007 Report Share Posted March 6, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... I like it when the ladies say "titilate" or its various forms. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AliceTheOwl Posted March 6, 2007 Report Share Posted March 6, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... It's a fun word. ^ v ^ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enforcer84 Posted March 7, 2007 Report Share Posted March 7, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Friday's Fantasy Grounds based chat game. I am playing Dinendal the bard. We're in combat. Me: Dinendal begins a dwarven war song to increase our bravery in battle (+1 hit and Damage while I sing DM: Okay, what's the song. Me: Heads are gonna roll. By the Dwarven Minstral: Judas, Priest of Moradin. GM: XP award for the bard! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dreadnought Posted March 7, 2007 Report Share Posted March 7, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Before today's session, Phantom Jack was discussing some things he wanted to buy with experience based on what he thought was going to happen in the current encounter. PJ: "I think I know what's going to happen, and when it does, I want to have Seduction and Martial Dodge." Player 2: "What, so when the first one fails, you have a back up?" PJ: "No, both at the same time." All of us: "..." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drhoz Posted March 7, 2007 Report Share Posted March 7, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Hey, new word! Repped. As relating to the scenario, I've had one of those where either my PC was trying to get rest or have quiet time with someone else and the other players thought it would be funny to keep interrupting. Nothing quite as carnal as the described scene, but annoying to me nonetheless. indeed. But when even the supervillians interrupt you have to think that the universe is out to get you. It wasn't the first time either - the first night he actually got to spend with 3 in his apartment, his neighbours Felicity, Shiarie, and several hundred gestalt-intelligent rats came in to watch. and thanks for the rep Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
input.jack Posted March 7, 2007 Report Share Posted March 7, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... A few more from my crazy friends. -------------- (In a M&M game) Neutron: (OOC) I fire a bolt at Foreshadow. GM: (smugly) Good luck trying to hit him. His Defense is ludicrous. Neutron: (OOC) *rolls* Natural 20! GM: F*ck! --------------- GM: Foreshadow climbs wearily to his feet, with his jacket smouldering. He mutters to himself "The b*tch of it all is, I saw this coming" :/ ---------------- Alpha Wave: Your Powers havent taught you the proper respect for your elders! =I= have had Power since before you "Neo Humans" existed! Feline Fury:....Say "hi" to the other dinosaurs for me! --------------- (From the Space Heroes game) Objx: Maybe we should leave a note explaining how we rescued the hostages without any of them knowing we were here. Ultragirl: That would make Psi-Borg really angry. Oh! Maybe we could taunt her into attacking us! Objx: Yeah! We can say her @$$ looks really fat in that robot! ---------------- GM: All right, Ultragirl, you land on the spacefighter's wing. As you bend over to grab the blaster cannon, your skirt flutters fetchingly. Dr. Infinity, you get a really good view of all this through your own ship's weapons rangefinder. Dr. Infinity, its your move. What do you do? Dr. Infinity: For my full action, I zoom in the view! *Then he mimes licking the viewfinder and smooching the screen* --------------- (From a 1700's-era Fantasy game) Talos (a dashing scoundrel of a swashbuckling mage, in a very Bruce Campbell kind of way) has volunteered to sneak into an enemy barracks hall to see how many there are, after the party has subdued the guards. The rest of the party waits hidden in the bushes nearby. Talos sneaks in and finds the doorway leading to the main bunkroom, where about a hundred mercenaries are sleeping. Talos: (OOC) Okay, on 12 I move to the middle of the hallway, lined up with the open door to the mercenaries' bunkroom. I quickly lob a major fireball down the hall and into the bunkroom where they are all asleep! ...You know....now that I think of it, you mentioned that they all have their weapons and gear in lockers at their feet. GM: (smugly) Yeah. Talos: (OOC) And that would include....their...powderhorns...too GM: (more smugly) Yep! Roll your damage, smart guy! Talos: *rolls dice* (OOC) 15 Body and a 5x Stun Multiple to everyone in the room. GM: Including all those lovely little kegs of powder. You hear secondary explosions building. Talos (OOC): And on 1 I abort my 3 action to RUN LIKE A BAT OUT OF H*LL!! GM: Talos tears down the hall, knees and legs everywhere, as the gigantic fireball chases him, diving out the front doors just as the blast roars over his head. Talos: *picking himself up and dusting himself off, covered in soot* I found the bunkroom.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kirby Posted March 8, 2007 Report Share Posted March 8, 2007 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... From Hermit's Of Masks and Metahumans game: GM: She darts to the side, causing him to miss, then slashes out with a hand at the strand around her foot, "Good bye, champion of the dreamspider." At her touch, it withers, like corn gone spoiled. And down Inktoma falls. (Breakfall would probably be a good idea) Inktoma: [ooc] Breakfall? Phah! We don't need no stinking breakfall! Mostly cause... We don't have it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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