SSgt Baloo Posted March 29, 2012 Report Share Posted March 29, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Yellow cake uranium. With Plutonium Frosting? Are we baking a cake for Gojira? Thorium oxide in the candles will make them burn with a very nice bright white color. Those candles ought to get Gojira's attention! Then, when he goes to blow out the candles -- ka-BLAM! Are you sure the table built with canisters of tritium won't be necessary to add that extra bit of "sparkle"? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Celt Posted March 30, 2012 Report Share Posted March 30, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Yuripup and Ghoust are husband and wife. Yuripup makes some salacious but apparently forgettable joke. Ghoust: Giggity. Me: No. No giggity. Ghoust: I can giggity! Me: No. Girls do not giggity. Only guys can giggity. Ghoust: What do girls do then? Me: B***h about guys' giggity. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Man Posted March 30, 2012 Report Share Posted March 30, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Three year old: "Dad?" "Yeah?" "I'm sad that someone broke into our house." "I know, kid. Me too." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klytus Posted March 31, 2012 Report Share Posted March 31, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. GF: Honey? Can you look up for me? Me: Of course. :: pulls out a book, and starts looking through it:: GF: It would be under Me: Gee, thanks. I never would have figured that out. GF: ::giggles:: Me: Ah. Here it is... ::starts to read:: GF: ::waits patiently:: Me: There. :: puts the book away:: I looked it up just like you asked. GF: Gee. Thanks. Now would you mind actually sharing the information with me? ME: OK. But just for the record, that was not part of the original request... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted March 31, 2012 Report Share Posted March 31, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. I'm at a deli. While the owner is fixing my sandwich, her son shows me his Transformer robot. Kid: It's Star Scream. Me: I prefer to call him Ice Cream. Kid: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted April 3, 2012 Report Share Posted April 3, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. You don't go to a steak house for the salad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teh bunneh Posted April 3, 2012 Report Share Posted April 3, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Loan Consultant: I have to ask this question, it's required by federal law Me: We're honkies. LC: Huh? Me: Crackers. Peckerwoods. Vanilla sticks. LC: I'll... I'll just put down "Caucasian," OK? Me: Fair enough! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
L. Marcus Posted April 3, 2012 Report Share Posted April 3, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Is meat popsickle a category? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BoloOfEarth Posted April 3, 2012 Report Share Posted April 3, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Loan Consultant: I have to ask this question, it's required by federal law Me: We're honkies. LC: Huh? Me: Crackers. Peckerwoods. Vanilla sticks. LC: I'll... I'll just put down "Caucasian," OK? Me: Fair enough! I wonder what he'd have done if you'd looked him in the eye and said with a straight face, "I was born a poor black child..." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
matrix3 Posted April 3, 2012 Report Share Posted April 3, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. I wonder what he'd have done if you'd looked him in the eye and said with a straight face' date=' "I was born a poor black child..."[/quote'] "...then died before my time due to a heavenly mixup, so they sent me back to the body of a white man. Wacky hijinx have ensued ever since." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John T Posted April 3, 2012 Report Share Posted April 3, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. You don't go to a steak house for the salad. Salad: it's what food eats. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SatinKitty Posted April 3, 2012 Report Share Posted April 3, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Is meat popsickle a category? Heh. When OddHat was a boy his Mom made frozen meat popsicles for the dog. She often cooked for that dog, but not for OddHat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Narf the Mouse Posted April 5, 2012 Report Share Posted April 5, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Heh. When OddHat was a boy his Mom made frozen meat popsicles for the dog. She often cooked for that dog' date=' but not for OddHat.[/quote'] ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigbywolfe Posted April 5, 2012 Report Share Posted April 5, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. One of the chef's at work singing along to "I'm sexy and I know it (I work out)" on the radio. It took me a minute to realize he saying "jiggle" instead of "wiggle" and I was about to tease him about it when the chorus came and I heard him sing "I'm chubby and I know it!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Celt Posted April 6, 2012 Report Share Posted April 6, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. "Raise Jesus!" "No, that's Sunday. Today is 'Squeaky Wheel Gets Greased' Day." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enforcer84 Posted April 6, 2012 Report Share Posted April 6, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. "There's pastry in the break room!" YAY! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shadow Hawk Posted April 6, 2012 Report Share Posted April 6, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. "Do you know where the bathroom is?" "Yes." "Can you tell me where it is?" "Yes." "Then... where is it?' "Down the hall, first door on the right." "You do know I'm with the inspection team, right?" "Yes." (overheard) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted April 6, 2012 Report Share Posted April 6, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. On naming cat #6. Suggested names (all rejected) were Tiny, Minnie (ugh!), Tinkerbell (yuk!) and Sophie. "What was wrong with Tiny?" "We've already had too many of those. That's why I chose Minnie, because she's small, or mini." "Reminds me of Minnie Mouse." "I don't make that connection." "How about Miniver, then?" "Miniver?!" "Miniver Cheevy." "Then we might as well call her Poopster; it's that bad!" On wearing a pin-striped suit, bow-tie, and fedora: "You look like a 75 year old man." "I'll just dye my hair gray, then." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
L. Marcus Posted April 7, 2012 Report Share Posted April 7, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Four years old nephew hears of the Crusifixion for the first time: "... And then they nailed him to a piece of wood! And then they took him down and locked him in a cave and wouldn't let him out, but then this angel God let him out. That wasn't nice at all! I hope they apologized afterwards." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Querysphinx Posted April 8, 2012 Report Share Posted April 8, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. From tonight's gathering at Teh Bunneh's house. Teh Bunneh: We should get you a job closer to civilization. Lonewalker: Yeah but there are no prisons around here. Querysphinx: I am not exactly wedded to the idea of spending the rest of my life in prison. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Obvious Posted April 8, 2012 Report Share Posted April 8, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. From tonight's gathering at Teh Bunneh's house. Teh Bunneh: We should get you a job closer to civilization. Lonewalker: Yeah but there are no prisons around here. Querysphinx: I am not exactly wedded to the idea of spending the rest of my life in prison. You should probably stop hanging out with Teh Bunneh then... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klytus Posted April 8, 2012 Report Share Posted April 8, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. You should probably stop hanging out with Teh Bunneh then... Thank you, Captain Obvious! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted April 8, 2012 Report Share Posted April 8, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Student: What's a telegraph? So I had to explain the concept to her, and that "letter" is the proper term for "snail mail." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teh bunneh Posted April 9, 2012 Report Share Posted April 9, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. You should probably stop hanging out with Teh Bunneh then... He's got a point. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teh bunneh Posted April 9, 2012 Report Share Posted April 9, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Server at the resturant: So what are you guys up to tonight? Me: Going to see a movie. Server: Oh yeah? Which one? Food games? Me: Server: Eating Games? Me: The Hunger Games? Server: Yeah, that's it! I knew it was something about food! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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