teh bunneh Posted June 30, 2012 Report Share Posted June 30, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. My buddy: They say it's "The Citizen Kane of stripper movies..." Me: Wait... there's a Citizen Kane of stripper movies and I was not made aware of it? What the hell is wrong with this picture??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrosshairCollie Posted June 30, 2012 Report Share Posted June 30, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. You know you've been married a long time when you can get away with a line like this ... Wife: "You know what I want right now?" Me: "A margarita and a Midol?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drhoz Posted July 4, 2012 Report Share Posted July 4, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Me: God help me, I'm Ormanizing - i.e. coming up with horrible horrible things to do to the characters in my story. And given that it's a MLP:FiM / Cthulhu Mythos crossover fic... I'm an evil evil man. *figures out where to put in mentions of the Ponykotic Manuscripts, and the Unaussprechlichen Colten, while simultaneously brainstorming ways to break three characters for the price of one...* Kate Orman : Even I would not torment My Little Ponies! Me: Perhaps not, but you did fold a large unicorn into a small box Kate Orman : GUILTY AS CHARGED Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucius Posted July 4, 2012 Author Report Share Posted July 4, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Unaussprechlichen Colten?! Lucius Alexander the palindromedary suggests we not speak of it, sounding a little hoarse Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Celt Posted July 4, 2012 Report Share Posted July 4, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Friend recently broke up with her girlfriend due to a difference of opinion. Girlfriend wanted to play around and she wasn't having it. My wife mentioned a blemish forming on her up lip. Friend: When I first met Sara I had a pimple on my lip. *sad face* Me: And like the pimple, Sara is gone! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Celt Posted July 12, 2012 Report Share Posted July 12, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. "I'm of Irish descent" "What part of Ireland?" "The American part." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
matrix3 Posted July 12, 2012 Report Share Posted July 12, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. "I'm of Irish descent" "What part of Ireland?" "The American part." Then there's my dad's line... Maternal Uncle: We're of Dutch descent. Dad: Descent? You can get lower? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klytus Posted July 14, 2012 Report Share Posted July 14, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Wife: So I was thinking... Me: Always dangerous. Wife: :: swat :: Me: Case in point. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barwickian Posted July 14, 2012 Report Share Posted July 14, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Me: Hey, I lost 5kg. Without even trying. Only 5 more to go. My wife, looking at me strangely: That's good. I go into the bedroom to get ready. I pause and come back. Me: Crap. We're getting ready for an all-you-can-eat, all-you-want-to-drink brunch. My wife, relieved the penny has dropped: Yes. We are. (Technically, the brunch is also billed as all-you-can-drink; that is, of course, far too perilous - we just want a little peril!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
L. Marcus Posted July 14, 2012 Report Share Posted July 14, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Hard thing to dose right, peril. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SatinKitty Posted July 14, 2012 Report Share Posted July 14, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Me: Pet the cat. OddHat: Are you sure it's a cat ? Me: I dunno, it has ears and a tail, but maybe it's a fat meatloaf. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teh bunneh Posted July 18, 2012 Report Share Posted July 18, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Eating out at a sports bar, ESPN is on the TV above us and they're talking about Jeremy Lin moving to Houston... Co-worker1: I hear they're paying him $25 million. Co-worker2: Yeah, but it's only like $5 mil for the first two years, then he gets the rest. Me: Geez. Only 5 million a year. Poor guy. Co-worker1: I know. He's going to have to get a roommate. Me: He'll probably have to donate plasma every week. Co-worker2: Hope he likes ramen noodles! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xavier Onassiss Posted July 20, 2012 Report Share Posted July 20, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. On the hottest day of the year, my brother's dog insists on tipping over his water dish. Brother: (disgusted) "That dog has no survival skills." Me: (gobs-smacked at understatement) "That dog don't know which way is up." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
L. Marcus Posted July 20, 2012 Report Share Posted July 20, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. It was just exercising scientific curiosity. Maybe there was more water on the other side of the bowl? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John T Posted July 21, 2012 Report Share Posted July 21, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Eating out at a sports bar' date=' ESPN is on the TV above us and they're talking about Jeremy Lin moving to Houston...[/i'] Co-worker1: I hear they're paying him $25 million. Co-worker2: Yeah, but it's only like $5 mil for the first two years, then he gets the rest. Me: Geez. Only 5 million a year. Poor guy. Co-worker1: I know. He's going to have to get a roommate. Me: He'll probably have to donate plasma every week. Co-worker2: Hope he likes ramen noodles! Considering how well many celebrities learn to manage their finances, this might be quite accurate... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John T Posted July 21, 2012 Report Share Posted July 21, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. It was just exercising scientific curiosity. Maybe there was more water on the other side of the bowl? Yes... the OUTside... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigbywolfe Posted July 25, 2012 Report Share Posted July 25, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. My cousin and her daughter discussing the possible pet options... Bean - "Mommy, I've decided. I want a wombat for a pet. Ok?" Mommy- "can you get those at petsmart?" Bean - "sheesh, google it. Google knows everything" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted July 27, 2012 Report Share Posted July 27, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. "You're a big meanie, you know that?" "Of course I know. That's why they hired me." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted July 27, 2012 Report Share Posted July 27, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Coworker 1: I enjoy working with you. Me: Well, that's one of you. Coworker 2: That's not true. I enjoy working with you too. Me: Okay, that's two of you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klytus Posted July 27, 2012 Report Share Posted July 27, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. When making breakfast this morning... Wife: Whoops! It looks like I'm cooking the entire pound of bacon. Me: ~mock sigh~ I guess we'll just have to eat it, then. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IndianaJoe3 Posted July 27, 2012 Report Share Posted July 27, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. My wife (muttering to herself while reading fanfic): "How do you shoot yourself in the ass with a crossbow?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MisterVimes Posted July 27, 2012 Report Share Posted July 27, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. (This is what amounts to sweet talk in my house -- sometimes) Me: I love your butt Jen: I love your face and your butt Me: End to end! Jen: I like to be thorough. Me: Like a proctologist! Jen: Yes! Wait... Ew. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted July 27, 2012 Report Share Posted July 27, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Friend: Do you notice the pizza places never cut up the pies evenly? Me: We need to give them protractors. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klytus Posted July 28, 2012 Report Share Posted July 28, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. My wife (muttering to herself while reading fanfic): "How do you shoot yourself in the ass with a crossbow?" Ask Dan Akroyd: his character manged to do it in Caddyshack 2. Just don't actually watch the movie! I made the mistake of paying money to see it in a movie theater, and it was 50 shades of awful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John T Posted July 29, 2012 Report Share Posted July 29, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. My wife (muttering to herself while reading fanfic): "How do you shoot yourself in the ass with a crossbow?" By living on a very small planet?.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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