Bazza Posted January 5, 2023 Report Share Posted January 5, 2023 I slightly remember that one. 😛 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted January 6, 2023 Report Share Posted January 6, 2023 To err is human. To ARRR! is pirate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattingly Posted January 6, 2023 Report Share Posted January 6, 2023 BoloOfEarth and wcw43921 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
archer Posted January 6, 2023 Report Share Posted January 6, 2023 I always tell the bartender the brand I like: "I'll have Another." death tribble 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted January 7, 2023 Report Share Posted January 7, 2023 I'm looking to sell my Delorean. Good shape, low mileage. Only driven from time to time. BoloOfEarth 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted January 7, 2023 Report Share Posted January 7, 2023 The Grand Canyon isn't just beautiful. It's gorges. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ockham's Spoon Posted January 9, 2023 Report Share Posted January 9, 2023 Took my kid sledding on one of the local hills. After going down several times while I watched, she asked: "Daddy, are you going to go downhill?" "Honey, at my age, that is all I ever do." Pariah, BoloOfEarth, Cancer and 1 other 2 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ockham's Spoon Posted January 11, 2023 Report Share Posted January 11, 2023 Rage Against the Machine never really specified which machine they were furious with, but I strongly suspect it was a printer. Christougher, L. Marcus, Pariah and 1 other 2 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted January 11, 2023 Report Share Posted January 11, 2023 I suspect it was a mouse that wasn’t plugged in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted January 12, 2023 Report Share Posted January 12, 2023 Fun thread. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted January 12, 2023 Report Share Posted January 12, 2023 Likely posted to the wrong thread. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ockham's Spoon Posted January 13, 2023 Report Share Posted January 13, 2023 I have a shirt that is dry-clean only, which means... it's dirty. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted January 14, 2023 Report Share Posted January 14, 2023 How come there are Pop-tarts but no Mom-tarts? Because of the pastryarchy Christougher, Ockham's Spoon and Pariah 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted January 15, 2023 Report Share Posted January 15, 2023 A Texan walks into an Irish pub and says, "I've heard that you Irish are the hardest drinking people on earth. So tell you what. If anyone here can knock back 10 pints of Guinness in a row, I'll give you $500." Nobody takes him up on his offer, but one guy gets up and walks out. Half an hour later, the same guy comes back and says "Is your bet still on?" The Texan says, "You bet it is!" So the Irish guy says "All right" and asks the bartender set up 10 pints of Guinness on the counter. The guy then walks up to the bar and knocks back all 10 pints, one after another. The Texan is stunned. He hands over the money and says, "That's the darndest thing I've ever seen. But why did you leave for half an hour?" The Irish guy responded, "Well, I had to go to the pub down to the street and make sure I could do it before I took your bet." Logan D. Hurricanes 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted January 15, 2023 Report Share Posted January 15, 2023 Her: "I had a dream last night that I was at Target." Him: "Really? I had a dream last night that I was with three beautiful women." Her: "Ooh, was I one of them?" Him: "No, you were at Target." mattingly 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted January 16, 2023 Report Share Posted January 16, 2023 I'm looking for a support group for procrastinators. Do we know if anyone has started one yet? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted January 16, 2023 Report Share Posted January 16, 2023 I went to the ER the other night, and I think the nurse there was flirting with me. She said I had a cute appendicitis. Logan D. Hurricanes 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted January 18, 2023 Report Share Posted January 18, 2023 Back in my day, toilet paper and eggs were so cheap we would throw them at the houses of our enemies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted January 18, 2023 Report Share Posted January 18, 2023 Dear Amazon, I bought a toilet seat because I needed one. Necessity, not desire. I do not collect them. I am not a toilet seat addict. No matter how temptingly you email me, I'm not going to think, oh go on then, just one more toilet seat, I'll treat myself. wcw43921, L. Marcus and slikmar 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted January 18, 2023 Report Share Posted January 18, 2023 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted January 19, 2023 Report Share Posted January 19, 2023 Clint Eastwood, Leonardo DiCaprio, and Matthew McConaughey were talking one day when Clint said, "We should do a movie together. I'll direct." Leo agreed and said, "Fantastic. I'll act." Matthew also agreed and said, "I'll write, I'll write, I'll write." Ockham's Spoon and mattingly 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted January 19, 2023 Report Share Posted January 19, 2023 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
archer Posted January 21, 2023 Report Share Posted January 21, 2023 Q: Why is gravity so cheap? A: It's mass produced. death tribble 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
archer Posted January 21, 2023 Report Share Posted January 21, 2023 Offer a man a plane ticket and he can fly for a day. Push a man off a plane and he can fly for the rest of his life. Pariah and death tribble 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted January 22, 2023 Report Share Posted January 22, 2023 I told Amazon I didn't get my package. They asked for proof. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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